by Jim Benton
Teen Franny huffed and pushed one of her monsters out the window.
“Please,” Franny said. “You have to stop this. I mean—don’t get me wrong—I’m a huge fan of monsters, and I’m even fond of an occasional rampage. But what you’re planning is beyond that. This is not just mad science. This is evil mad science. Why are you doing this?”
Teen Franny’s eyes narrowed. “C’mon, Franny. You’re me. You know why.”
Franny shook her head. “Really, I don’t.”
Teen Franny cruelly flicked a spider with her finger. “The Science Fair, Franny. Remember the Science Fair?”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
IS THERE AN ECHO IN HERE? IS THERE AN ECHO IN HERE?
I’ll bet this is because I made my middle name too extreme,” Franny whispered. “The name Kaboom is like an explosion. This version of me grew up with a name that sounded like utter destruction.”
Teen Franny rummaged through a trunk. “Here it is,” she said, and she showed it to Franny: Behind some cracked glass was the certificate from the Science Fair made out to Franny Kaboom Stein.
Teen Franny turned up her Monster Multiplier, and the monsters started popping out faster and faster.
“You asked me why I’m doing this, kid. It was because they laughed. They laughed at my middle name, and they laughed at me.”
Franny thought, Wait a second. They laughed at the name “Kissypie,” but I had no idea that they would laugh at the name “Kaboom.” They would have laughed at “Kismet” or “Khufu” or “Kidney.” This had nothing to do with the name.
Teen Franny spoke through clenched teeth. “The most important thing is that nobody will laugh at us again. There is nothing worse than being laughed at.”
Those were Franny’s precise words coming back to haunt her. That was exactly what she had told herself as a baby.
Suddenly Franny understood that none of this was about changing her name to Kaboom. This was all because of what she had said to Baby Franny about laughing.
Teen Franny looked out the window as her monsters began tearing the neighbors’ homes to pieces, and she smiled an evil smile.
Franny said to herself, “Think! Think! Think!”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
ONE MORE REASON TO NEVER CLEAN YOUR ROOM
Franny couldn’t get away, and she couldn’t reach the controls on her Time Warper Device.
Suddenly a thought occurred to her.
Franny looked around and spotted her old Voice-Activated Cheese Cannon. “Cheddar!” she shouted, and caught the cannonball of cheese it launched her way.
Teen Franny spun around. “Hold it right there, kid,” she said. “I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that cheese will attract the mice, and then the mice will scare the elephant-monster, which will drop you, and then you’ll escape. Am I right?”
Franny said nothing.
“Of course I’m right,” Teen Franny sneered. “I’m just as clever as you are, Franny. But two principles in your dumb little plan are entirely incorrect: Mice don’t really like cheese, and elephants aren’t really afraid of mice.”
“I guess you’re right,” Franny said. “But my plan was based on the principle that nobody likes it when you stuff wads of cheese up their nose,” she said as she did exactly that. “And I never, ever, ever cleaned up my room.”
The elephant-monster, struggling to dislodge the cheese wad from its trunk, took two steps backward and slipped on the banana peel that had been in that exact spot for years, just as Franny’s mom had predicted. As the monster fell, it released Franny.
Teen Franny lunged for one of the countless inventions lying around the lab. She aimed the Frog-O-Matic and fired it at Franny. Franny swiftly grabbed a mirror and deflected the ray.
Teen Franny picked up the electric Molecule Destroyer and switched it on. Franny quickly unplugged it from the wall.
“This is my lab too, you know,” Franny said. “I made most of this junk. I know how it works,” and she fired a Freeze Ray at Teen Franny.
Teen Franny fired a Heat Ray back and the rays cancelled each other out.
“Yeah,” Teen Franny said. “I know how it all works too. And while we stand here battling, my elephant-monsters continue to multiply. And besides, you bratty little kid, we may be the same person, but I’m the older version. That means I know everything you know, plus a little bit more. You can’t defeat me.”
Franny knew that Teen Franny was right. She closed her eyes and thought as hard as she could.
Suddenly an idea came to her.
“Oh, yes I can,” Franny said, and she pushed a button on the Time Warper Device. With a flash, and a pop, and a little puff of smoke, she was gone.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
HE WHO LAUGHS FIRST, LAUGHS LAST
Franny was suddenly back at the Science Fair. Anthony Christopher Hernandez had just gotten his certificate for his Never-Miss Baseball Glove, and Franny looked very concerned, again.
“And first prize,” the principal began, “again goes to Franny—”
“Uh, that’s okay,” Franny interrupted nervously. “I’ll, uh, just pass on the certificate.”
“Of course not,” Mrs. Pierce said. “You won fair and square, Franny. You should be proud.”
“Okay, but you don’t have to read my name or anything. We all know my name.”
“Nonsense,” the principal said. “For her Time Warp Dessert Plate, first prize goes to Franny Kaboom Stein.”
The principal looked at the certificate more closely just to make sure she had read it correctly. She even cleaned her glasses.
“Is that right, Franny? Is your middle name ‘Kaboom’?”
Franny walked up and quietly took the certificate.
“Yes,” Franny said. “It is. My middle name is Kaboom.”
The kids looked at the principal. They looked at Miss Shelly. They looked at Franny. They looked at each other.
And then they erupted into an explosion of laughter. Franny Kaboom Stein. They could hardly believe it.
“It’s the most ridiculous name I ever heard!” one of the kids shouted.
“What kind of a middle name is that?”
Even Miss Shelly and the principal giggled a little. And Franny felt a terrible destructive rage start to boil inside her.
Franny knew she had one chance to beat Teen Franny and the horrible future that awaited her if she did not.
I didn’t have to change my name, she thought. I had to change how I felt about people laughing at it.
And Franny smiled.
And then she chuckled. And she laughed. “Kaboom,” she said. “You’re right, it is a pretty ridiculous name.” And Franny suddenly didn’t really mind the kids laughing. It was a silly name, and it made her laugh too.
There are a lot of things worse than being laughed at, she thought.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
A FUTURE WITH APPEAL
The next day Franny cleaned up the lab just like she had promised her mom. They cleaned up the drawers full of guts, organized the boxes of bones, and took Franny’s first-place certificate out of the trunk and hung it proudly on the wall.
Franny even allowed herself another giggle at the name Kaboom. Laughing at yourself was much easier than she used to believe.
Franny’s lab was still pretty cluttered, but it looked better than ever, and Franny knew, deep down, that she would never, ever, ever grow up into the evil Teen Franny she had seen on her journey into the future.
Of course, they left the banana peel right where she might need it to be . . .
just in case.
READ ALL OF FRANNY’S ADVENTURES
Lunch Walks Among Us
Attack of the 50-Ft. Cupid
The Invisible Fran
The Fran That Time Forgot
SIMON & SCHUSTER BOOKS FOR YOUNG READERS
An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing Division
1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, New York 10020<
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Copyright © 2005 by Jim Benton
All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form.
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Book design by Dan Potash and Lucy Ruth Cummins
The illustrations for this book are rendered in
pen, ink, and watercolor.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Benton, Jim. The Fran that time forgot /[written and] illustrated by Jim Benton.
— 1st ed. p. cm. — (Franny K. Stein, mad scientist ; #4)
Summary: When her embarrassing middle name is revealed at school, mad scientist Franny K. Stein experiments with time in order to return to the past and give herself a more dignified name.
ISBN 0-689-86294-6
ISBN 978-1-442-49519-7 (eBook)
[1. Science—Experiments—Fiction. 2. Time travel—Fiction.
3. Names, Personal—Fiction. 4. Humorous stories.] I. Title.
PZ7.B447547Fr 2005
[Fic]—dc22
2004011638