Logan

by Samantha Chase

  “No!” he yelled at himself. That wasn’t what this was about. If Graham Blackthorne didn’t respect him–hell, if the old man didn’t love him–then it was his loss. For the first time in his life, he was ready to do what made him happy and no one else.

  He wanted to talk to his mother so badly right now, but he didn’t want to add to her stress. She was already pissed at his father for so many reasons; did he really want to give her more ammunition?

  “Don’t do it,” he muttered around a yawn. And immediately yawned again. Reaching over to his bedside table, he turned off the light and felt like he just might be able to fall asleep. Rolling over, he reached for the pillow Piper had used and held it close.

  Maybe someday when he got his shit together, she’d give him another chance. She’d see that she misjudged him.

  And if that wasn’t motivation enough, he didn’t know what else was.

  “I thought I saw someone walking through the garden.”

  Piper looked up as Fiona approached. Her garden was one of the most beautiful spots on the entire estate–and that was saying something. When she was younger and wanted a place to hide and pretend she was a princess living in her own paradise, she would come here and play. As an adult, she just wanted a place where she could hide from the world for a little while.

  Sitting beside her on one of the ornate benches scattered around, Fiona let out a weary sigh. “Sometimes I like to sit out here and think,” she said. “It’s so peaceful and I love to look at all the different flowers and know I created this.”

  Piper nodded. “And you did an amazing job. It’s beautiful.”

  “It looked good on your game too. I bragged to all the girls at the salon how my garden is part of a very popular video game.”

  That made Piper chuckle. “I don’t know about it being popular and who knows if it will ever get sold.”

  “Oh, stop,” Fiona said firmly. “You and I both know you’re going to find the perfect job for you and they’re going to take your game and make it a bestseller.” She paused. “Now why don’t you tell me why you’re out here all by yourself looking like it’s the end of the world?”

  Because that’s what it feels like…

  There was no way she would admit that to Fiona, but it certainly felt that way right now.

  “I guess I’m just feeling discouraged. Nothing’s going the way I thought it would and…” She paused and let out a long breath. “And some things went exactly as I thought they would. Even though I was secretly hoping they’d go differently.”

  “Hmm…”

  They sat in companionable silence for several minutes. The sun was shining and there was a cool breeze blowing–it was the perfect weather for being outside. Unfortunately, Piper wasn’t able to fully enjoy it because she had too much on her mind.

  “Did you make a decision on the job?” Fiona asked after several minutes.

  “I want to, I really do…”

  “But…?”

  “But…I’m afraid of making the wrong choice,” she admitted. “Like…I really want to go on this journey with my friends. I think it would be amazing to be there from the beginning and watch it all grow.”

  “O-kay…”

  “But it’s not a sure thing. I’ve known them both long enough to know they need some strong guidance to get this thing off the ground.” And if she hadn’t blown things with Logan, maybe they could have had that strong guidance.

  Possibly the strongest guidance she could even imagine.

  “You know there are no guarantees, right?”

  “I know, but…”

  “When Alistair and Meredith Blackthorne moved from Scotland to King Harbor in1918, do you think they were certain they were going to be a success? It was a big risk to make that kind of a move. And then when they opened the distillery in 1919, it was another big risk.” She turned and smiled at Piper. “And look how that paid off.” She waved her arm to indicate the property around them. “None of this was here and it took a long time for this land to become what it is–with the big house, the staff, and all the cottages here. And it’s just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. All the businesses that came out of that one risk Alistair took.” She reached over and took one of Piper’s hands in hers. “Never be afraid to leave your comfort zone. Otherwise, you never know what you’re going to miss out on.”

  “But what if it’s a mistake? What if it fails?”

  Fiona shrugged. “What if it succeeds?”

  Shoulders sagging, Piper looked at her friend with a sad smile. “That’s not helping, you know.”

  “It was worth a shot,” Fiona replied. They sat in silence again. “Let me ask you something.”

  “Okay.”

  “What is really keeping you from taking this job?”

  “I…I told you; I’m afraid the guys aren’t capable of making it work.”

  “But then it would be their failure, not yours,” she said pointedly. “And if it does fail, you’ll have to look for a new job, right?”

  Piper nodded.

  “And isn’t that what you’re doing right now?”

  Frowning, she replied, “It’s not the same thing. I’m looking now because I just finished school and have to find a job. If their company fails, then…”

  “Then you’ll be doing the same thing you are now,” Fiona repeated. “Piper, no one’s going to look down on you if you have to look for another job. People change jobs all the time. Sometimes it’s out of necessity and others it’s because that job wasn’t the right fit. Don’t let your worries about how it will look to others stop you from doing something you really want.”

  She sighed. “Maybe.”

  “Trust me. I’m surrounded by men who are far too prideful for their own good. My son has ingrained it in his sons what it means to be a Blackthorne and how everything they do should be for the good of the family name. And yet…” She paused and shook her head. “And yet, they are sometimes completely clueless and miss out on what’s most important because of their damn pride.”

  Piper looked over at Fiona and wasn’t sure what to say. She knew Logan struggled with the pressure his father was putting on him, but she didn’t realize it was a pattern of behavior he’d been dealing with his entire life.

  As if reading her mind, Fiona continued. “Each of my grandsons dealt with the whole Blackthorne pride issue. Graham is obsessed with it and he’s put pressure on all the boys. The older ones are dealing with it and making their own way, but I worry about Logan.”

  “How come?”

  “Because he’s got a very caring heart. He hates to let anyone down and sometimes I think he pushes himself too hard to try to please his father even though it doesn’t look like it to most.”

  Okay, that was a little confusing and as much as she hated to ask for clarification, she did.

  “Everyone looks at Logan like he’s drifting along and not taking anything seriously. What he was really doing was trying to learn everything he could so he could impress his father and earn his respect.”

  Piper almost hated how she was right about that.

  “Now, don’t get me wrong. He’s a rascal that one,” she went on with a laugh. “He dates a lot of pretty girls and never gets serious with them, but he’s young! What’s wrong with having a little of fun?”

  And now she felt a little sick at the thought of being one of the masses that Logan had fun with.

  “But I think his social life, his dating life, is a lot like what he was doing in the business. He’s looking around until he finds the right fit.” Then she stared at Piper. “Sometimes you don’t know until…you know.”

  I know…

  “Some people meet when they’re young and they just know–they know they’ve met their forever person and they don’t date anyone else. It’s not like that for everyone. Sometimes it takes time. Do I think he should have dated a little less? Who’s to say? Plus, you know how the rumor mill is. For all we know, Logan didn’t date half as many women as
people claim. Only Logan can answer that.” She sighed as she stood up. “And I hope no one judges him too harshly for it.”

  I did…

  Shame filled her and Piper had no idea how to make things right. She could go talk to Logan, but…honestly, she had no idea where to begin.

  Patting her shoulder, Fiona smiled at her. “Time for my afternoon snack. Let me know when you’re leaving. I’d love to have lunch with you before you go.”

  “But…I’m not leaving any time soon, Fiona. I haven’t…”

  This time she gently squeezed Piper’s shoulder. “You will.” And just like that, she walked away. Unfortunately, their conversation left Piper even more confused than she was an hour ago.

  Did she misjudge Logan? Maybe. But did that mean she misjudged their relationship? Just because there was a possibility he wasn’t a serial dater didn’t mean he was serious about her, right? And if he was, why wouldn’t he say something?

  Wait…did he?

  “Well I guess the joke’s on me because the only one serious here was me. Yeah, how’s that for irony? I finally meet someone I can see a future with, and she sees me as a way to pass the time.”

  “Oh my God,” she whispered. Coming to her feet, Piper quickly made her way back home and got ready for work. If Logan was at the Vault tonight, she was going to find a way to get him alone so they could talk.

  She had to.

  Even if she had to beg and grovel, dammit, she was going to make things right.

  For the first time possibly ever, Logan was watching the clock at work. If he timed it right, he’d be gone before Piper came in. It was cowardly, but…he wasn’t ready to see her or to try to pretend he was okay with her.

  So at four o’clock, he gathered his things and wished everyone a good night.

  Out in the parking lot, he walked to his car and breathed a sigh of relief. Although, there was a part of him that hoped to pass her by, just to get a glimpse of her. Eventually he was going to have to see her–he couldn’t avoid her forever. But for right now, this was for the best. He still had some things he needed to work through and until he did, he needed to keep his distance.

  The drive home wasn’t long and once he was inside, he set his laptop up on his coffee table before walking to the kitchen and seeing if there was anything to snack on. He was on calls all morning and into the afternoon so he hadn’t eaten anything since the smoothie he had for breakfast.

  “I should have brought something home with me.” There were the makings for grilled cheese and he knew he had some cans of soup in the pantry, but it seemed incredibly lame when he could have been eating fresh lobster bisque and a real sandwich. Unfortunately, his stomach was just about roaring in demand to be fed so he opted to go with the sub-par meal.

  Within minutes he was sitting on the sofa, eating his grilled cheese while the soup cooled and reading over an email that just came through from Piper’s friend Eric. Logan had spoken with both Eric and Michael earlier and already set some things in motion. His only request was that for now, they not tell Piper what was going on. There were still so many things to work out and until he knew more and saw how well the plans were received by investors–and that included himself–he didn’t want her involved.

  Partly because this wasn’t about her and partly because he didn’t want her to get her hopes up and then have it not work out.

  One of the things he learned on their phone call was how these guys were extremely knowledgeable and confident. He knew if he put them in front of the right group of investors, they’d have the backing they wanted. The question, however, became how many investors did they want? Neither seemed too keen on bringing on a large amount of people because it could potentially lead to them having little say in their own company. Logan understood that and respected it.

  He knew he could write them a check right now–could make this another division of Blackthorne and put the family name on it so it would give the guys a credibility they couldn’t get on their own. But the thought of going to his father and making him a part of it was not something he wanted to do.

  At least not yet.

  Logan knew if it was the difference between the company getting off the ground or not, he’d make the pitch to his father and deal with the criticism. That’s how much he believed in what Michael and Eric had created.

  And Piper.

  While his desire to work on this project started out as a favor to her, where he was at right now really didn’t have anything to do with her. It was giving him a chance to do something that wasn’t about the family business that allowed him to branch out on his own. He was doing something that interested and challenged him.

  The timing was a little suspect and he was sure people were going to question whether he was doing this because he wanted to, because of Piper, or because of the ultimatum his father had issued, but Logan was confident he could prove he was doing it for the right reasons.

  Placing his sandwich down, he opened the attachment Eric sent and began reading. Research and studying never bothered him–he’d always been a good student–and it was kind of exciting to be learning about an entirely new industry. He knew there was a lot of work ahead of him if he was going to be fully informed in this endeavor, but it was something he was interested in and knew it wasn’t going to feel like work.

  Both men had been anxious for him to commit while he was on the phone with them earlier, but he told them he needed to know more first. So here he was, checking out statistics and looking at industry reports they had sent over.

  Hours passed and it was dark outside and his soup had long-since been forgotten. One lone lamp was on and still Logan sat on his couch reading. His eyes were crossing, his back hurt, but thankfully he was a quick study and most of his questions were being answered the more he read.

  Unable to sit any longer, he stood and stretched. Looking at his watch, he saw it was after eleven. Muttering a curse, he walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water, guzzling it all down before cursing again over brain freeze. Tossing the bottle in with the recycling, he contemplated making himself something else to eat. Nothing had changed–more food hadn’t magically appeared–but it was also too late to order takeout.

  Unless I call in an order to the Vault…

  Crossing that option off his list, he went over to the window and looked down at the town and wondered if Piper was okay. Even though he felt like he was the one who was wronged in their relationship, he knew she had to be upset–he saw it on her face and heard it in her voice. It was just…in that particular moment, he didn’t care. His own hurt was all he could focus on. Now that he was calmer, he worried about her.

  Probably shouldn’t have taken the coward’s way out by leaving before you could see her…

  Tomorrow. Tomorrow he’d stick it out and…and be a mature adult.

  Even if it killed him.

  It would mean talking, but…not. At least, not about what he was doing for her friends. It would be weird and he hated the thought of censoring their conversations, but he had a feeling it was going to be awkward enough going back to talking as just friends.

  And pretending they hadn’t seen each other naked.

  Sighing, he wished he were seeing her naked right now.

  A slow smile crossed his face as an idea hit.

  Walking over to the coffee table, he picked up his phone, dialing Eric’s number.

  “So?” Eric said excitedly when he answered. “What do you think? Should I send you more articles?”

  Laughing softly, Logan replied, “No. Anything I didn’t quite understand, I googled.”

  “Oh, okay. So…what can I do for you?”

  Sitting back down on the sofa, Logan considered his next words carefully. “How good are you at racing games?”

  “Um…what?”

  “You know, car racing video games. You any good at them?”

  With a laugh of his own, Eric said, “Yeah. Really good.”

  “Better than Pi
per?”

  That made Eric laugh harder. “Depends on who you ask.”

  “Okay, what kind of game do you definitely beat Piper at?”

  “That’s easy–any of the sports games. I totally kick her butt in all the hockey and football games. She’s got some mad skills, but she argues every call the virtual refs make and gets too worked up to focus. It’s kind of funny.”

  “Damn, she beat me at some of those…”

  “Dude,” Eric said solemnly. “How bad are you at video games?”

  “I’m not!” he cried. “I swear! Against most of my friends, I almost always win! Piper’s just…well…you know, better.”

  “Maybe we’re not the right company for you. I mean, if you really suck at this…”

  “I don’t!” he protested again. “Just…teach me how to beat her at one of them. That’s all I’m asking. I don’t care if I have to cheat, just…tell me what to do!”

  Eric was quiet for so long he thought he was going to turn him down. Then finally, “Okay. You got an Xbox?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You happen to have one of the sports games handy?”

  “I’ve got NHL 19.”

  “Okay so…wait, it’s late by you, right? I’m on the West Coast so the time difference and all.”

  “I’m good. I’ll stay up all night if I have to.”

  “Wow, this is that important?”

  “More than you know.”

  More silence.

  “Eric?”

  “Give me your gamertag and I’ll send you an invite. You got a headset?”

  “Of course.”

  “Alright then, let’s do this!” Laughing, he added, “By the time the night is through, you will have all the secrets of beating Piper at this. I’ll even tell you all the taunts that are guaranteed to distract her and make her crazy. Trust me, you’ve got this!”

  He wasn’t so sure about that. The only taunts he wanted to use to distract her had nothing to do with video games and everything to do with just the two of them and what they’d started together.

  But for now, he’d take the gaming knowledge.