In the time since they had arrived, there had been no petty arguments between anyone regarding supposed duties or sleeping arrangements. Sasha was pleasantly surprised, as she mulled over all this, considering that putting more than a few people together under stressful circumstances usually leads to emotional blow ups. Everyone in the cabin had seemed to understand that there were much more important things to be worrying about than starting a war with the few live humans left.
Sasha was sitting on the back porch while all of this was running through her mind, absentmindedly watching Nora use a stick to trace patterns in the dirt of the backyard. They had finished up dinner a little while ago, it had been a rather unappetizing mix of several different cans of vegetables that Sasha had stirred together. They were running low on food, there would have to be a scout run soon.
Hud was further out in the backyard, Adam and Travis undergoing some kind of weapons training. Hud was showing them how to quickly load and ready a gun, and they were loving it. Travis seemed to be born for this, and Adam, although he was much slower and less enthused about using a weapon, was still glad to be doing something that seemed productive.
Derek had woken up a little while earlier, having eaten the vegetable mix for his breakfast, he was sitting in another patio chair near Sasha, silent. Lily was upstairs by herself again, probably reading.
Hud and the boys started heading back towards the house, and Sasha was just about to mention that they probably need to go search for more food and fuel, but as soon as she opened her mouth, a piercing yelp rang out in the woods like a terrified scream. It sounded incredibly close.
Nora covered her ears and Derek was standing in an instant, listening intently when the woods were silent again an instant later. Everyone was perfectly still, the howl had definitely sounded like an animal, either hurt or petrified.
Sasha was watching Derek. She saw his head turn; he could hear something. Suddenly Lily was at the back door.
“They’re here!” She whispered, barely audible to Sasha, but Derek had heard her loud and clear.
“What?” Sasha asked, looking back and forth between the both of them. She could see their mouths moving, but there was no sound coming out.
They moved towards the front edge of the yard, Hud a few steps behind. He had indicated to Travis and Adam to stay near the house, and they had taken a protective stance. Sasha wished she had the heavy shotgun.
Suddenly Derek and Lily’s heads whipped around towards the front of the house. Although she heard nothing, Sasha knew that the danger was closer than they had thought. Derek ran back into the house, Lily and Hud behind him.
“Adam, take Nora upstairs.” Sasha ordered, and immediately, he was holding Nora’s hand, following Sasha into the house. Derek and Lily were at the front door, but it wasn’t open. Ripley was standing just behind them, her legs braced widely on the floor, her head lowered, ears piqued. Sasha noticed how similarly Derek and Lily were positioned to Ripley.
Derek’s mouth was moving again, and Lily nodded. Hud looked as confused as Sasha, but stood his ground in front of her with his pistol. Sasha silently crept to the other side of the room where the shotgun was. Before she made it, Derek opened the front door and in a flash, both he and Lily were out of sight.
Holding her breath, Sasha listened for any sounds. She was just about to begin worrying that her heartbeat was too loud, that it was covering any sounds she might need to hear, but then she heard rustling.
Hud had to hold Ripley back, she was pulling hard. Sasha could see the muscles rippling under the skin on Hud’s bicep as Ripley strained again him, and began barking.
Something was going on, not too far from the front door. Sasha had frozen, half bent for the gun, and every horrible scenario was going through her mind. She still wasn’t sure what the actual threat was, animal or human, until she heard the spine-tingling guttural moaning of an infected person. She then heard a scream, gurgling and then silence.
More rustling, and then Hud was talking.
“How many?” He asked, peering out the door, still hanging onto Ripley.
“Just one, but there are more out there somewhere. I can smell them.” Lily answered, and was heading back to the house.
“Where’s Derek?” Hud obviously hadn’t seen him returning like Lily.
Sasha leaped towards the front door. She was suddenly in panic mode. Where was Derek? Her breath started to become very hard to find, but then she saw his silhouette, the blue moonlight creating a silver outline on his face. He stopped moving forward, just standing there while Lily made her way back to the house. Sasha didn’t understand why Derek was still out there, obviously they had stopped whatever threat there had been. She feared he was injured.
She took a step outside, and immediately, Derek’s voice broke the silence.
“Don’t, Sasha. Stay there.” The words didn’t make sense to Sasha, she kept coming towards him. He took a step backwards and then he was louder, angry.
“I said don’t, Sasha. Get away. NOW!” The words hit Sasha like a brick wall at a thousand miles an hour. She froze in place, eyes wide. It took her a moment to remember how to move her mouth.
“What is it, Derek?” She cried, sounding panicked.
“Blood. Just stay away.” He backed further into the shadows where she couldn’t see him.
Still, none of this seemed to make sense to Sasha. She stood for another second, trying to put it together. Blood? Who’s blood? If he was hurt, why was he hiding from her? Before any answers came, he asked her again, a little more calmly, to return to the house. She did so, and was surprised at her obedience.
Hud, Travis, and Lily were standing at the front door with varying looks of surprise and confusion. Sasha walked past them, feeling like a punished child, and then heard Derek call for Lily. As Sasha turned to watch, Lily walked out towards Derek. As Sasha took the first few steps up the stairs, her face burned.
Now he preferred the company of a teenager instead of her. Sasha could understand that they had some kind of bond, they didn’t have to speak out loud to communicate. They had spent countless hours awake together while everyone else was sleeping. Sasha had definitely noticed the way Lily looked at Derek, but she had not thought anything of it beyond it being a young girl’s crush. Maybe there was more to it. She was almost an adult, and she was beautiful.
Sasha got to the top of the stairs and Adam and Nora were sitting in the bedroom. The only light that was shining upstairs was the flashlight that Adam was holding, and he kept it towards the ground as Sasha approached to keep from shining it in her eyes.
“Are they okay?” Adam asked. Sasha noticed he was still holding Nora’s hand. Nora was looking at Sasha with huge eyes.
“I guess so. I heard Lily say there was only one, but that there were more out there somewhere. Derek wouldn’t let me come near him.” She answered absently, probably giving away too much emotion than what Adam had wanted.
“I heard him yelling. He was probably just trying to keep you safe, Sasha. That’s what I would do.” Adam offered. Obviously, he had picked up on the bitterness in her voice. He pulled his hand out of Nora’s tight grasp, and wiped his palm on his pants. He continued to look at Sasha as if he was expecting an answer, but his body was moving towards the stairs. He wanted to see what was going on downstairs. Sasha let him off the hook.
“Oh, no, it’s cool. I just didn’t see if he was hurt.” She said, shrugging and sat down near Nora. Adam nodded once and then turned to jog down the stairs.
Derek was standing outside in the front of the house. His hands were covered in blood, but it wasn’t his. When he and Lily had first exited the house, he had told her to go in a wide arc around where the monster was making noise. He was hoping that would flush it out and Derek would have the element of surprise when he attacked. It had worked.
What Derek had not expected was that the monster would take off running towards the house carrying it’s meal, a freshly killed half-starved dog, wit
h it. The monster himself looked even more unhealthy than any of them that Derek had seen previously. He had hardly had to fight, the thing was so weak. He guessed it was starving, so hungry that instead of feasting on human flesh, he had resorted to a dog.
It only took a second to break the monster’s neck, but once it was on the ground, Derek wasn’t sure if all the blood on his hands was the dogs or the monsters. He hadn’t meant to sound so harsh, and would have to explain it to her later, but there was no way he could have let Sasha come close. If the blood on his hands belonged to the infected man, that would be putting Sasha way too close to the virus or whatever it was. He knew her; he knew she would run recklessly, grabbing him to make sure he was okay so he had acted quickly to stop her.
Lily came back out of the house to help clean Derek off with a few rags. Then they threw the rags and on top of the carcasses and then lit them on fire. Once Derek was convinced that he was safe to go into the house, he used nearly a whole bottle of peroxide to make doubly sure that he didn’t have the dead monster’s blood on him. Then he headed upstairs to talk to Sasha, explain to her that he was only trying to protect her.
As soon as he walked into the room, he saw in the dim candlelight that she was already asleep next to Nora. She was on top of the blankets, obviously she had not planned on falling asleep already. Her face looked relaxed and peaceful now. He could imagine, although he had not seen it, what her face had looked like as she had stomped up the stairs after he yelled at her. He could hear her heart beating peacefully. She murmured something in her sleep, and Derek had an incredibly strong urge to reach out and touch her face.
Instead, he quietly turned and walked out of the room.
Chapter 33.
In the next few days, Derek noticed Sasha becoming even more detached than she already was. She continued to be sociable, but she was too friendly; she seemed uncomfortable around him now. Derek spent a lot of time wishing that he could go back to the night in the Mauler when she had laid her head on his shoulder. Now he doubted he would ever have that closeness with her again.
As much as it seemed that it didn’t matter, he found that even amidst the tragedy and complete and utter change that he had gone through since he had left Aunt Cheryl’s house weeks ago, his mind would not let go of the hope of being with Sasha. It seemed even more important now that they had settled, somewhat, in this cabin. For a month now, they had lived here with no sign of any other human alive. There was no plan for the future. This was it. He couldn’t imagine spending his future in such a cold, awkward position in regards to Sasha. The annoying and painful desire to touch her, to follow her wherever she went and talk to her. It would not stop.
Sasha had woken up the day after his outburst and decided that if this was the hand she was going to be dealt, stuck in a house with the only living, breathing people who might be alive, she was going to have to come to terms with the fact that she and Derek were nothing more than friends, part of the patchwork family that had to rely on each other for survival. She could do that, and she could make the best of it. She willed herself to treat and regard Derek as she would anyone else in the house: with compassion and patience, and ignore the attraction and affection she felt for him.
She kept herself busy with Nora. During the day, they fought boredom and monotony by disappearing into one of the books that had been brought home on a scouting mission. Sasha was reading The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe to Nora and both of them found it easy to escape into its pages. They spent as much time in the backyard as possible, it was fall and winter would soon keep them inside the cabin. Sasha had also begun writing in a journal, trying to keep it less personal and more about the events that had happened, just in case anyone would ever be around to want to know.
Derek, even though he slept for most of the day, still found ways to make himself useful. He and Ripley would explore the area around the cabin, checking the traps and making sure the lights were still functional. He helped Hud refuel the generator, and he still stayed up all night like a sentry guarding the sleeping. Lily, of course, was awake too with him. She still found time to be near him, and it was painfully obvious at this point that she had developed a crush on him. He did his best to allay it.
There were a few times, however, over the course of the next few weeks, where Derek would barely be able to stand the monotony of his new life and the awkward distance between him and Sasha anymore, and would quietly tread up the stairs and stand just inside her bedroom door while she was asleep. Her steady breathing and the serene look on her face would calm him, even if all he could do was watch. He wanted to wake her up and explain everything. Something inside just wouldn’t let him.
As winter started to settle in, more chores were added. Adam and Travis spent several days finding and chopping wood, until a healthy sized pile was stacked just outside the back door. Scouting trips involved looking for warmer clothes for everyone; it still seemed like stealing to Sasha as she broke the glass storefront window of the clothing shop in town. As she rummaged through items to find warm clothing, she still somehow half expected to hear the voice of a friendly sales person asking if they could help her with anything.
Sasha usually didn’t go on the scouting missions. Hud, Adam, Travis, and sometimes either Lily or Derek would go, and leave Sasha with Nora. It was fine with her, she didn’t like seeing the evidence that everyone was gone - or dead, and a completely quiet ghost town was definitely evidence.
This time, though, Sasha went because she was becoming unnervingly restless in the cabin. She expected to go a little stir crazy, but she didn’t expect it to feel so heavy and depressing. When Hud asked who wanted to accompany him the next morning into the deserted little town, she volunteered before anyone else had a chance to say anything. Lily wanted to go too, she wanted more reading material for the long nights, which left Derek to stay with Nora.
When they arrived back at the cabin with their stock, Sasha had hoped her spirits would be lifted a little bit. She had been able to find plenty of clothing for Nora, and even a few more books for them to get lost in. But as soon as she crossed the threshold into the cabin, and saw Derek sitting there, her heart sank even deeper than before. She felt lonelier than she ever had in her entire life, and instead of being one of a group of survivors, she felt like the only one. It was difficult to force a smile, even when she was showing her treasure trove of new stories to Nora.
That evening, she read as many pages to Nora as she could stand, which wasn’t a lot. Her mind was elsewhere, on her family that she would never see again. On the bleak future that loomed before her. On the loneliness she had suddenly started feeling, and how hopeless it was beginning to seem. This was not the way she had ever pictured the rest of her life.
Nora thankfully was not upset that Sasha didn’t read much. She seemed content with lying down and drifting off to sleep. Sasha blew out the candles and tried her best to get comfortable and try to push the overwhelmingly negative thoughts out of her head. They were stronger than she was, though, and eventually she couldn’t hold it in any more. After almost three months of fighting it, she finally mourned. She mourned for her family, for humanity, and for herself.
Derek had thought everyone was asleep. He was sitting on the back porch, just outside the windows to the upstairs bedrooms. He had come outside to avoid Lily, who had plopped down next to him on the couch, book in hand. She had stayed on the couch, reading and obviously disappointed, when he got up and wandered off.
He was giving himself another pep talk, the same one he had vainly tried on himself so many times now. Trying to convince himself that what he had now, this quasi-family in this tiny cabin out in the middle of nowhere, was a much better deal than so many others had ended up with. Maybe even the whole world. He was lucky he wasn’t out in these woods tonight, slithering and crawling and hunting for food. He was lucky he wasn’t dead. Why did he still feel so pathetically sorry for himself?
Derek’s thoughts were interrupted sudd
enly by a disturbing sound. Someone crying. It only took him a half a second to ascertain where the sound was coming from. Right above his head, in Sasha’s room.
The muffled sobs were quiet enough so that no one who was sleeping would hear, but they screamed in Derek’s ears. He fought every urge, and they were all very strong, to run up into her room and hold her, and tell her everything was going to be okay. But he knew he was part of the problem. There was no solution.
He only allowed himself one small consolation, and he told himself that he was doing it for her, just in case something happened and she was too upset to stay as alert as normal. Even if he couldn’t make everything okay, he could at least offer his best, most diligent watch over her. He didn’t let himself relax until her sobs faded and her breathing eased into a sleeping rhythm.
When Sasha awoke the next morning, she rubbed her swollen eyes, pushed back the covers softly so as not to wake Nora, and put her feet on the floor. To her surprise, sitting on the floor, back to the wall with his head leaned against the nightstand, Derek was sleeping. He had been there all night.
The Loki Variation Page 20