Chapter 34.
Derek’s black eyes flew open, and he moved so abruptly that Sasha jumped backwards.
“Sorry!” She whispered to him as she withdrew the hand she had touched his shoulder with and put her hands up as if she was showing him that she was unarmed.
His faced softened immediately, and he exhaled loudly.
“Good morning.” He said quietly to her, his black eyes watching her from under his long eyelashes.
“What are you doing here?” She asked him. No sense in beating around the bush. He had barely spoken to her in weeks, but had decided to have a slumber party in her room without her even knowing.
Derek looked twice as uncomfortable now as he did sleeping in that awkward position. He ran a hand through his now longer hair, and took a breath.
“You were crying.” He didn’t see the sense in beating around the bush either. Instantly, Sasha was feeling just as uncomfortable as he looked. She hadn’t thought anyone had heard her, but in that second she realized that Derek could be so quiet; he could have sat there the entire time she was sobbing and she would have never known. Of course he had heard her. Her face flushed. Derek felt like he was making this worse.
“I just wanted to make sure you were alright, and I fell asleep.” He said, trying to shrug it off.
“Listen, Derek. You don’t have to watch over me. I’m fine.” Sasha sat on the floor, cross-legged right in front of Derek. She wanted him to look at her, she made herself look as strong and independent as she could.
“I miss my family, I miss normal life,” she said. And I miss you, she thought, “and I cried. Once. But I am just fine, so please just stop making yourself feel so responsible for me, you are under no obligation to pretend you care that much.” The last few words came out of her mouth like venom, she hadn’t meant for that to happen.
Derek’s face was one that Sasha couldn’t quite read at first. Angry? Surprised?
“Pretend?” He asked, his eyebrows raised, “you think I am pretending to care about you?”
Sasha was still confused.
“Let me tell you what I am pretending, Sasha. I am pretending to myself, every day, that I may still get to see my mother again. I’m pretending that there is still hope for this world. I am pretending that whatever happened to me that changed me into… into one of them isn’t worse than just being killed. I am pretending a lot of things, Sasha, but the one thing I am not pretending about is how much I care about you.” He was struggling to keep his voice steady. Sasha was frozen, her eyes wide. There were several seconds of deafening silence, and then Derek realized what he had just admitted to her and he looked down.
“Derek. Derek, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” Sasha was stumbling over her own words now, her thoughts were tripping her up. Derek looked as if he was surrendering.
“Well, now you do.” He was still looking towards the ground. This admission wasn’t going to make anything easier on him. There were really only one outcome to this now, the only question was how was she going to tell him? She might try to let him down easy, giving him excuses as to why she didn’t feel the same for him. It’s not you, it’s me. I just have this thing where I don’t date guys who can smell blood from a mile away or who might accidentally break all my bones with a little hug.
Or, in classic Sasha fashion, she may just blurt out how disgusting she thought he was. He held his breath.
Sasha was studying him. Everything in his body language was screaming that he had left himself totally and completely vulnerable. He did not like being in this position, but had put himself in it willingly, just to tell her that he cared. She still didn’t quite understand this sudden change in him, he had been so aloof and cold with her ever since they had had those few moments in the Mauler.
“What changed?” She asked cautiously.
“Nothing has changed, no matter how hard I tried to force it. I am a danger to you and Nora, so I will keep as much distance as I can stand. That doesn’t take away the fact that I always want to be near you.”
With that one sentence, everything came together for Sasha. He had been pushing her away, but not because of the petty reasons she had been telling herself. She never would have imagined.
“Be near me, then, Derek.” She said, almost pleading.
“I can’t. We don’t know what this thing is that made me different. What if you aren’t immune like me? What if Nora isn’t? I can’t even kiss you. What if you end up like them, and it’s my fault?” His voice was teetering on cracking. That was all Sasha could take.
She fell forward to close the small gap between her and Derek, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in his chest. She wasn’t sure what was making the tears come this time, but she knew it wasn’t the despair and hurt she was feeling last night.
Derek didn’t move for a moment. He was overwhelmed, the smell of her, the warmth of her arms around him, the fact that she had reached for him. When he was able to think again, just a moment later, he put his arms around her, careful not to squeeze too hard, and lost himself.
Chapter 35.
Even with his near superhero powers, Derek was not able to stop time from moving forward. He had no idea how long he and Sasha had sat on the floor, her leaning up against him, motionless and silent together. It was the change in Nora’s breathing that brought Derek out of his borderline euphoria. An instant before Derek had a chance to even react, Nora’s face appeared at the edge of the bed. Her soft dark eyes landed right on Derek’s, a look of amusement on her face. Derek nudged Sasha.
As soon as Sasha made eye contact with Nora, Nora broke out into a very toothy grin. Derek had never seen her look so normal. Sasha pushed herself up, and Derek felt the warmth leave the spot where she had just been. He wanted to pull her back down to him again, but it wasn’t the time or place anymore.
“Good morning, Nora. Glad to see you so smiley today.” Sasha said jokingly as she rose and made a face at the girl. Nora just kept smiling as she slid off the edge of the bed. She padded into the bathroom and closed the door. Sasha was standing, her arms crossed.
“Now what?” She asked, as if Derek knew any better than she did.
“Now? Now. I don’t know about now.” Derek said, rising. He had become more easily tired lately, he was beginning to feel a strain on his body from its constant state of fight or flight. He was used to being awake for most of the night, but he would normally be asleep at this time. His eyelids felt heavy.
He stood, stretching a little, and took a step forward. Although he was a good head taller than Sasha, she kept level eye contact as he approached her. Her mouth was pulled slightly on one side, a smile that was being repressed.
“You look tired, Derek. You should sleep some more.” Sasha said, reaching out to touch his chin.
“I don’t know if I have a choice.” He answered, stifling a yawn.
Sasha moved her hand from his chin to his chest, where she began to apply pressure. Just enough to make Derek take a step back, the half smile still showing. The back of Derek’s legs pressed against the bed, and she kept pushing. He fell backwards onto the bed.
“Sleep.” Sasha ordered, teasingly. Derek was so instantly comfortable in the large bed that he lost a lot of the urge to playfully fight back he thought he would have had. He paused for a moment, trying to decide what the best move would be next, but after a short deliberation, he shrugged and moved to lay his head on the pillow. Sasha stood watching him, still with the half smile, for a moment. She watched his dark eyelashes flutter, and then turned to go downstairs, the half smile breaking out into a full grin.
Lily was sitting on the futon in the loft area, she was normally asleep at this time too. She caught Sasha’s eye, and instead of responding to the smile on Sasha’s face with her own, she held a sullen gaze. Sasha barely noticed it as she trotted down the steps.
Hud, Adam, and Travis were already awake, eating granola bars that they had retrieved in yesterday’s scout run. If they notice
d anything different about Sasha’s attitude this morning, they didn’t show it. She helped herself to a peanut butter granola bar and tried to pay attention to the conversation already being had.
“We didn’t finish unloading everything from the Mauler, and I want to get something to cover that broken window better today.” Hud was saying. The passenger window of the Mauler had been busted out before they even made it to the cabin, and they had done a very quick job of patching it up with a large trash bag and electrical tape. It was good enough to keep most of the moisture out, but wasn’t secure.
“What are we going to fix it with?” Adam asked, his mouth filled with granola.
“I saw some plywood by the side of the shed beside another cabin up the road. It won’t be pretty, but if we can attach that to the window, then seal it with tape, it will be a lot more safe than a plastic bag.” Hud said, taking a large swig from his bottle of water.
“There’s a bunch of stuff in that tool box you brought with you, maybe we can find something in there to attach it with.” Travis pointed out. It wasn’t really a toolbox, it was a plastic bin that Hud had filled up with tools he had collected when they had been stuck at the Navy base. Sasha thought about how long it had seemed since they had left the base. It was almost impossible to believe that it had been sixteen weeks since she had been woken up in the night by Nora’s screams. She shook her head to herself. She almost hadn’t expected to survive this long.
As quiet as a mouse, Nora came around the corner to the kitchen. Sasha handed her a granola bar and made room for her on the chair she was sitting in.
“Is he asleep?” Sasha asked Nora, trying to be quiet. Nora nodded, but then looked around as she noticed all eyes were on her. Sasha looked up. Hud, Adam, and Travis were watching her.
“What?” She asked, her granola bar halfway to her mouth.
“Was Derek with you last night?” Hud asked. It wasn’t an accusatory tone, but Sasha was already defensive.
“I didn’t know he was. I was sleeping, and I guess he just hung out in our room.” She said.
Hud’s face was expressionless, and he only watched her for a second more before he turned his attention back to the conversation from earlier. Adam, however, looked concerned. While Travis and Hud were talking about the rest of the plans for the day, Adam seemed distracted, and it irked Sasha.
After the boys had left the kitchen, Sasha began to go through the new food items that they had scored yesterday in town. She was absent mindedly sorting boxes and cans of food, when she felt Nora’s eyes on her. Looking up, she found Nora watching her with that amused look on her face again.
“Oh come on, Nora.” She said quietly. “You’ve known all along, haven’t you?”
Nora didn’t move, but her face brightened a little.
“This morning feels unreal. I feel so silly and so happy at the same time. How pathetic is it that I am walking around with this big stupid smile on my face, like a little girl with her first love? In the middle of some cataclysmic event? I guess you can’t turn off your emotions, no matter how crazy the world gets, huh?” She glanced back at Nora, who nodded.
“It’s not like anything can change. Now I know how he feels, and he obviously knows how I feel, and under normal circumstances, we could go from there. But what can we do now? There’s no dating, there’s no delivering flowers or walking through the park together.”
Nora continued in her perpetual silence, and Sasha hardly realized that she was talking to herself more so than Nora, anyway.
“God, he can’t even kiss me. I could catch whatever it is…” She trailed off, not wanting to even picture the possible consequences, nor did she want to put the image in Nora’s head either.
“Well, Nora, it doesn’t matter. The thing is that I don’t have to keep trying so hard to avoid him. That was the hardest thing, trying to ignore or forget about someone when he’s in the same place as you all the time.” She could hardly remember how hopeless she had felt last night.
“Yesterday, the only thing keeping me going was you, Nora.” She glanced at Nora, the girl’s face softened a little more, she looked sympathetic now.
“And I don’t know what will happen, but at least I have you and Derek now, and you both have me.” Just as she finished her sentence, she saw a movement near the kitchen door. It was gone before she could see it, but she knew what, or who, it was anyway. Nora had seen it too, and was looking back at Sasha perplexed. Sasha sighed and went towards the stairs.
Even though she didn’t hear Lily going up the stairs, and she didn’t see her blur as she sped to faster than normally human, Sasha knew that before she even made it to the first stair, Lily had already made it to the futon and was going to feign sleeping. She couldn’t believe it had not registered this morning, Lily was a young girl and had an obvious crush on Derek. What girl in her position wouldn’t? And now, she had probably heard everything that Sasha had said this morning to Nora, and probably heard the conversation earlier between she and Derek, and Sasha knew how heartbreaking that would be for Lily. She had felt it only a few hours ago, when she had even feared that Derek may have been interested in Lily.
What was she going to say to Lily to make her feel better? There was nothing she could say. She would only make it worse. Lily didn’t seem to be socially stable, anyhow, some of her mannerisms were border lining on feral human, and Sasha had no way of knowing if that was just her personality, or if it was because of her extended time alone after being bitten on the highway.
She decided to leave Lily alone, and that she would make an effort to avoid doing or saying anything in front of Lily that would upset her even more. Lily would probably be asleep for most of the day anyway, as would Derek, so she didn’t have to worry about it much for now. As she was about to head back into the kitchen with Nora, she heard Hud’s voice cussing out in the front yard and went towards the front door instead.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Success!
Hello everyone! I apologize for the length of time that has gone by since the last entry. To compensate, I will give you the best news so far:
We have a success!
Well, more of a success than a failure. After the first 8 variations were tested, 5 of them were scrapped, and 3 of them were sent back to the drawing board for a bit more modification. There were also 2 more variations that were created as well. They are the B0L75 and the G12M0 variations, lovingly called the “Bolts” and “Gizmo” variations by me. Ah, the strange things being a lonely lab tech will make you do…
This cycle has happened more than a few times at this point. Several modifications and modifications on modifications have been created, tested, and failed. I have gone through 76 variations total. None of them have been successful.
Anyway, initial results on all of the modified variations as well as the new variations didn’t look very promising. Apparently the parasite became unstable and weak as a result of the modifications, and although I could keep them alive in a dormant state, as soon as they were administered to the subjects, certain functions failed. Mostly it was reproduction. The little guys just can’t do it on their own.
We had heard rumors of possibly splicing a piece of genetic material from a type of virus, as viruses are masters at reproducing. They basically make the cells of whatever it is that they infected get really confused and start making copies of the virus itself.
The idea was to give the protozoan parasite variations the ability to reproduce like a virus. As far as I know, splicing a parasite and a virus together has never been attempted, let alone been successful. Trying to keep the same traits that we are looking for in the parasite (which I am not even sure of at this point) as well as making it able to reproduce on its own in a relatively short time is the ultimate goal.
Two new “viral parasite” variations were presented a few weeks ago. They were labeled “L0K1” and “L0N6,” following the same pattern as before where the part of the genetic code that was altered is nam
ed, and you can see the “L0” that is apparent in each label is representative of a gene responsible for reproduction. To me, the two new variations are called the Loki Variation and the Long Variation.
The success came today, we were told that rapid reproduction has been observed in the test subjects. Evidently, the Loki Variation has provided most of the wanted results in the subjects, and can also reproduce on its own, very rapidly. Again, I can’t tell you much about the desired effects, or the actual results of the testing, either because of NDAs I signed, or because I just don’t know, but it’s an exciting time right now at the lab.
Since the Loki Variation is the one that has come closest to producing the criteria wanted by the company that hired our lab, it looks like the more in depth part of my internship will begin. The Loki Variation will be reproduced outside a host, and it will be up to me to keep them alive, and to observe their patterns when they are not inside a host. I also will be able to compare my observations with the observations of the test team, so I will finally be able to see what the results of the parasite on living creatures will be. I’m nervous and excited.
I feel that I could go into a rambling fit at any moment, so I will end here. But rest assured that I will post more as soon as I have news.
Posted by Sanjeev at 2:12 AM
Chapter 36.
Stepping outside into the morning light, Sasha could hear Hud swearing near the Mauler. As she walked over to see what was wrong, she was able to piece together enough bits of yelling from him to determine that something had spilled inside the Mauler.
Adam was standing outside the Mauler as soaked items were being tossed out of it. Sasha looked at him questioningly.
“The diesel. I guess the tank leaked.” He said, dodging another flying cloth.
The Loki Variation Page 21