Illegally Wedded

by Jennifer Griffith

  “It sounds so caveman-like.” Zach hugged her and placed a quick, soft kiss on her lips. Mitzi and Garrett ahhed, and Mitzi clapped. Garrett quit filming.

  “This is awesome. Mind if I post it?” They didn’t mind. “Zach, you say? I don’t know if you got Piper’s father’s approval before marrying her, but I’ll throw mine in, for what it’s worth. You’re a solid guy. She’s lucky.”

  “I’m the lucky one.” Zach leaned in and kissed her temple, which had always been a sensitive spot for Piper. How did he know that? Instinct? “Why do you think I left that tip?”

  “To impress Piper? Because it worked. I mean, after you left, she was just wandering around like a smitten kitten, and—”

  “Sh!” Piper didn’t need Garrett telling Zach all her secrets. “Let’s cut our losses on this Alfredo. We’ll make something better tomorrow, guys.”

  “Grilled cheese?” Garrett’s eyes lit up. “I know, I’m always begging for it, but it’s the best. People love it.”

  “With barbecue dipping sauce.”

  “Rock on!” Garrett threw his apron in the laundry pile and headed out the back with Mitzi, their work done for the day.

  “Grilled cheese? I’ll be here.” Zach trailed after Piper across the kitchen to the office door, where she rummaged through her purse. “I’m a fan of the melting cheese.”

  “Who isn’t?” Piper reached down and took his hand. She ran a finger across his ring. “I’m glad you have this before we have another run-in with Agent Valentine.”

  Trepidation gripped her unexpectedly. Was Zach wincing internally at the loss of his freedom?

  Zach lifted his hand and looked at the ring, sliding it on and off his finger.

  “Good fit. Thanks.” With no more ceremony than that, he wore the persona of a married man—like it didn’t bother him a bit. Most men seemed to shrug off their bachelorhood with great difficulty, like a snake laboring to shed its skin. Not Zach.

  Every day, Zach amazed Piper more and more.

  “Grandma Vada will check my hand, too, so good timing.” He took Piper’s chin and lifted it. “Oh, I guess this calls for a kiss. Am I right? The earlier one almost didn’t count, and ring-giving should always be accompanied by affection.”

  Should it? Yeah, it probably should. In case Agent Valentine was at the window, watching, or in case someone asked. Piper met Zach’s eyes.

  “It’s probably the right thing to do.” She inched toward him, and he pushed her hair back behind her ear. Her soul fluttered at his touch, and her lips parted.

  His mouth met hers. This kiss wasn’t the same as the mind-altering altar kiss on their marriage day. Or the passionate three-minute kiss on that dangerous double-bed.

  This kiss was a crescendo, not of passion, but of feeling.

  This kiss felt like commitment.

  Was the commitment growing on her end only? Oh, this was a confusing, terrible situation, intensifying exponentially, just like the effects of Zach’s kisses. No wonder she burned the Alfredo sauce today.

  He continued to dazzle her with his expertise, trailing a few light kisses along her jaw, eliciting a soft ache inside her, and drawing her into his power. Did he feel this too? Could he not? She couldn’t tell yet, whether his side of the commitment was growing, too. If she asked him, she’d feel foolish, so she decided to let his mouth teach her in other ways, the truth of what he might be thinking—or not thinking—about the two of them.

  Zach tugged his phone from his pocket and left off kissing her. It had chimed in a faraway land during that trippy kiss. Piper had barely heard it. Now she’d like to toss it in the food processor. Phones should not be allowed to interrupt Kisses of Truth like that before they’d revealed all their secrets.

  “She got it!” Zach’s eyes lit up and he shoved his phone back in his pocket. “I can’t believe it.”

  “What?” This had better be big, to justify looking at a text during that moment. “A million dollars and a green card for me?”

  “You’ll see. Come on.” Zach took her out to his truck.

  ∞∞∞

  “Zachary Travis, as I live and breathe.” A woman who must be Grandma Vada looked up from her motorcycle repair. “And this is the girl whose parents love to eat, I take it? The ones loving the fresh Kiwi air Down Under?”

  She knew about the hobbit colony? Piper exhaled a little bit. Any morsel of pretense of normalcy about her family that she didn’t have to keep up with someone came as a relief.

  “You’re mixing countries, Grandma. Down Under refers to Australia.” Zach let her wipe her hands on a rag before he gave her a side hug. “This is Piper. We did it. We got married.”

  Piper hadn’t fully exhaled. Whether Zach’s grandma approved of her or not had been at the true heart of the cream-burning today. Grandmas often didn’t go in for spur of the moment marriages. What she said next would tell Piper volumes.

  Grandma Vada eyed her, as if assessing whether the spawn of a hobbit-obsessed couple could be worth the risk her grandson had taken. She let her gaze go up and down Piper’s full body, from her scalp to her sandals. It felt like a visual inquisition more than a once-over. Full judgment in three seconds flat.

  Piper gulped.

  “Well, it’s about blooming time.” Grandma Vada didn’t use the term blooming.

  Zach glanced at Piper, as if to see how she took the coarse language. Piper was too relieved to care.

  “I can see why my grand-boy was in such an all-out rush to drag you to the altar. You’re all kinds of gorgeous. And I hear you can cook. Don’t let him get too fat.” Grandma Vada gave Zach’s belly a hearty thump, and then she came and took Piper in her arms. “Come here, darling.”

  It was the softest, warmest hug Piper could imagine from a woman wearing a black leather jacket and several chains. Then she let go and smiled a crooked-toothed smile. Approval, it said.

  “We are crazy, impulsive kids, I know.” Piper sent him a sidelong glance. She wished Grandma Vada was in on the hoax. Piper hated hurting grandmas. “We even bought a house already.”

  “Zach comes by it naturally. Do you know, I bought this place sight-unseen.”

  “I thought you won it in a poker game.” He was letting Grandma Vada’s quirks out of the bag, and it put Piper at ease.

  “Same difference.” She tossed a rag from her pocket onto the seat of a dismantled motorbike. “Come on. I’ll pour you a drink.” She led them to the other side of the building, where the bar was. “You’re driving, Zach, so Coke for you.”

  “Coke for me, too. Cherry if you have the hard stuff.” Piper didn’t drink. She hadn’t told Zach that, but maybe he’d notice and think it was good information to file away for the quiz game coming up at Zach’s work potluck.

  Man, that thing had her spooked. She not only had to do everything she could make their relationship believable for his coworkers, she also had to know everything there was to know about Zach by that night. Otherwise, all this effort—from buying a house to taking her to meet his family—would be shot.

  She wondered what kinds of questions they’d be asking—how trivial they’d be, or intimate. She didn’t know these people at all, and her only comfort was that she knew they prided themselves on being traditional and maintaining that image. But in private, what were they really like? And how could she prepare? She wanted to win—for Zach’s sake. It might seal things for him.

  “You two drink. I’ll bring the surprise.” Grandma Vada plopped two cold bottles in front of them as they sat on barstools, and disappeared behind a swinging door. From the other side she hollered something Piper couldn’t understand.

  “What’s the surprise, Zach?”

  “Look.” He pointed to Grandma Vada, who was lugging a pink crate that made a squeaking sound. “You said small, so this was the smallest I could find.”

  She set the crate on the countertop, and then she opened a little metal door at the front. Out peeked a tiny, white ball of fur with huge dark eyes. It had a pi
nk bow between its ears, and it poked its head out of the crate.

  “A puppy?” Piper looked over at Zach in wonder. “It’s…a Maltese?”

  “It’s not a puppy. This sucker is fully grown.” Grandma Vada wouldn’t stop grinning. “The store owner gave me a discount because this one growled at everyone else who tried to pick it up, but when I came in, it quit yapping and cuddled right up to me. Probably smelled the leather on my vest.”

  “Can I?” Piper made a show of reaching for it. “I mean, is it for me?”

  “It’s for us. The house dog.” Zach gave her the nod, and Piper put out a hand.

  “Don’t take it personally if the dog is aggressive with you. The pet store owner said no one wanted her because she was too snarly toward every single customer who tried to hold her. They’d fall in love with her and then spring back when she got nasty at them. Oh, but look. Maybe she was waiting for her soul mate.”

  Grandma Vada laughed out loud, an old smoker’s laugh as the dog came right to Piper and climbed into her arms, nuzzling her neck. It was the sweetest feeling in the whole world. Piper had never owned a dog before. She’d almost given up her girlhood hope for it.

  “Wow. You’re no bigger than a teacup.” She kissed its little face, letting it nuzzle against her chest, its heartbeat quick, like a lot of other small creatures’ heartbeats.

  Grandma Vada disappeared into the back room and made clunking sounds, and then her phone rang.

  Zach looked concerned and spoke in a low tone. “I put Grandma Vada on task to find us a dog. I told her we wanted it as a wedding gift.”

  “I love it.” Piper had fallen instantly in love. “But why?”

  “It’s so we’d have a more convincing case with Agent Valentine. You saw her today. She’s pretty much out to get you.”

  That was for sure. The little fur ball made Piper forget all about the immigration problems and the dangers of jail time and deportation and her friends’ bankruptcy for the moment. Tears welled in Piper’s eyes, and she had to blink them back.

  “Are you okay? If you don’t like her, we can take her back. They had a return policy.”

  “Return policy!” Piper embraced the dog, pressing it to her heart and letting it curl up against her. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted a dog? My parents were renters all my life. The only house we ever lived in was The Emerald City, and that was only for three months. Apartments almost never allow dogs, and I was always out of luck. Look at her, will you? She’s the sweetest, most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

  “She’s pretty cute.” Zach clearly wasn’t as taken with the dog as Piper, but he reached out a hand to pet her, and the dog yapped, so that was understandable. She’d get used to him, grow to love him, too.

  “Are you a hundred percent sure I can keep her? You’re not going to snatch her away, are you? Because she’s a dream come true. What are we going to name her? I like Millicent. Or Bubbles. Or Coco. Or Teacup. She looks like she could fit in a teacup.”

  “She’s a teacup Maltese. That’s why she’s so small. Could put her in a teacup.” Grandma Vada came in with a sheaf of papers.

  “That’s just what I was saying to her,” Piper said, joy buzzing in her heart. In the past four days, three of her girlhood dreams had come true: a house to live in, a husband—sort of—in name at least, and a dog of her own. She looked up from the puppy and gazed at Zach. He’d done all of this for her.

  “Teacup it is.” Zach reached out again for the dog, and this time Piper held her out to him. Teacup didn’t bark or nip. She sniffed his hand, and then stuck out her tongue and panted.

  When did Chad ever make me this happy?

  “Here’s the paperwork on her.” Grandma Vada slapped it down. “You send this in for registration as owners with the American Kennel Club.”

  “She’s purebred?” That was good for another part of their paper trail. Perfect. They’d take care of that this afternoon. Zach was thinking of everything. Piper could relax. He and his brilliant mind and great connections like Grandma Vada had all this in hand. He’d even made Agent Valentine disappear this afternoon like magic.

  He reached over and petted the dog again, as if Teacup was growing on him. Piper handed the dog over, and it relaxed in the crook of his arm. Wow.

  “Are you sure this dog wasn’t wanted because it was so cranky? She seems fine to me, don’t you, Teacup?” Piper knew she was talking baby talk to the dog, but how could she help it? Teacup was the most adorable thing of all time. “Let’s get you some food and a little pillow to sleep on and…”

  Grandma laughed her low, scratchy laugh.

  “I do have my talents. Choosing dogs is now on that list.” She blew on her knuckles and rubbed them against her shoulder in victory. “Since Teacup gives Piper her seal of approval, so do I. Good job, Zach. You picked a winner.”

  Piper watched Zach loving on the dog. She felt the warmth of the moment radiating through herself. The love of Grandma Vada, crusty old woman with an old softy’s heart, settled over all of them like a golden, gauzy net—and terrified Piper. What was going to happen to all this golden gauze when the Piper and Zach Show ended?

  ∞∞∞

  Two days later, after taking Teacup for her shots at the vet and getting the last of the paperwork done to change all utilities out of Piper’s name at her last apartment, Zach was driving them home. To their home. He’d been at work yesterday and today, after three days off, and he’d only left work on this Friday afternoon to make sure the vet did things right as far as Teacup’s immunizations went. He’d drop off Piper and the pup and then have to go back in. Karlovy was a harsh taskmaster.

  But Piper had promised an evening in with the Spurs game she’d DVR’ed for him, and to make him some dinner, now that their cupboards were filled, and no fool alive would refuse that.

  Did a woman get more perfect than that? Basketball and lasagna in her interest set? He could convince any jury on earth—even vegan bowling fans—that a woman did not, in fact, come more perfect than that.

  Piper’s body was wedged up against Zach’s as he drove, since there had to be room on the passenger seat—in a seatbelt—for Teacup’s crate. She was warm and soft beside him, and he reached an arm around her shoulders.

  “The center seatbelt isn’t secure enough,” she’d said. “I’d feel more comfortable if we put her in the side seat.”

  No argument there. Plus, there was the added benefit of lane changes making Piper’s centrifugal force press against him.

  He changed lanes a lot.

  Other than that, Zach drove more carefully back into town than he’d ever driven, now that he had precious cargo on board.

  Wait. Whoa. It wasn’t like Teacup was a baby.

  But—the three of them suddenly felt like a family.

  “There’s a good girl. There’s a good girl.” Piper talked sweetly to the little white ball of fur that Zach was having a hard time keeping his eyes off. What a cute dog. Good job, Grandma. He and Piper and Teacup. Maybe they should take a few family pictures.

  For show, of course. To convince others.

  “I’m going to make sure there are no high spots in the fence for the back yard as soon as we get home. We don’t want Teacup getting out. She could get lost.”

  “Oh, no!” Piper looked stricken. “Maybe we shouldn’t let her roam back there.”

  “Yeah. We’d have to keep a close eye on her. I’ll take the first shift.”

  “Can’t I come, too?”

  “Sure. We’ll do it together.”

  Okay, okay. This was getting nuts. Especially since Piper was lavishing more affection on that dog than she was onto him, the sizzling kiss in the kitchen of Du Jour today notwithstanding.

  What had that kiss meant, exactly? Because it had definitely felt like more than just the fires of desire he’d been fueling for that woman ever since he saw her for the first time last week.

  Last week! Man, it didn’t take long for pretty much everything in the w
hole world to flip upside down. Now he was a married man, even sporting a gold ring on his left hand, the most gorgeous girl in the world practically sitting on his lap as his wife in all ways but one, and besides becoming a homeowner, he’d also become a dog-owner.

  A Teacup owner, that was.

  What a cute dog.

  Dang, he was in peril of getting attached—and not just to the dog.

  He pulled into their neighborhood.

  “Whose car is that? Don’t you only have a truck?” Piper aimed a nod at their driveway, which was being darkened by a black sedan.

  Government issue, similar to the one they’d seen earlier when Agent Valentine showed up at Du Jour. Were they being stalked now?

  Zach’s foot hit the brake, and he dodged into a neighbor’s wide driveway about six houses down from theirs.

  “Can you see whether anyone’s in the car?”

  “Ninety percent sure it’s a woman with long blond hair. Our good friend and caseworker.”

  Exactly what Zach feared.

  “She’s back. What does she expect? That we’d be here for the first weekend of our honeymoon, the moment you don’t have to work?”

  “Well, she’d be dead wrong if that’s what she’d think because we’re spending our honeymoon at Sea World. Or Six Flags. Or…”

  But Zach was already dialing his office. It might be four o’clock on a Friday afternoon, but even the partners would still be at Crockett, Bowie, and Houston until five. Tradition, tradition.

  “Zach Travis, as I live and breathe.” Cora sounded less monotone than usual. He’d slipped into the office the past two days and not seen her there. “Did I hear you got married? This week? Kinda spur of the moment, huh?”

  “That’s right. Hey, can you put me through to Mr. Crockett? Nobody’s using the corporate jet this weekend are they?”

  ∞∞∞

  Corporate jet! Piper dropped the toy she was waving at Teacup.

  “Where are you taking me, Zach?” she asked, breathless, after he hung up, following a series of nods and a promise to turn in something case-related by midnight Sunday. “I can’t just up and fly somewhere. There’s your company dinner next week, the restaurant, and now the dog…”