Kingdom Hearts 358-2 Days

by Tomoco Kanemaki

  “Um, Roxas?” Xion took a breath and met his eyes. “I’m sorry for running off on you yesterday.”

  “Hey, I’m not upset about that. Don’t worry about it.”

  That made her feel a little better. Why had she avoided him like that anyway? What was she afraid of? She stared down at her fingers.

  “I…I messed up a mission really bad.” Her hands were cold. “Did you hear about that guy pretending to be one of us? But I lost a fight against him. And then Saïx called me a ‘failure.’”

  His brows knit together, as if he were offended on her behalf.

  Hey, Roxas, she wanted to ask, why do some things hurt so badly, when we don’t have hearts to feel with?

  “Geez. That’s…,” Roxas began.

  Xion cut him off. “It’s fine. I don’t care what some jerk has to say.”

  I can take it. See if I care. I’m fine.

  So she told herself, but her chest ached. She looked toward the sunset.

  “Hey, Xion… Why don’t we work together today?” said Roxas.

  “Huh? But…”

  He flashed her a smile. “I know we have separate missions, but I bet if we team up, we’ll finish faster.”

  Would that work? Maybe it would.

  “Well…okay,” Xion replied. “I guess if we get done early, we’ll have more time for our ice cream.”

  It reminded her of something. This almost feels like before… Like when I couldn’t use the Keyblade.

  Roxas is always helping me.

  “Right? Let’s get to work, Xion!”

  She nodded.

  They defeated the two giant Heartless and headed for the clock tower with their prizes. Ice cream in the usual spot.

  “Wonder where Axel is,” said Roxas between bites. “Maybe we finished too fast.”

  He was laughing as he said it, but Xion couldn’t. It felt like he’d done most of the work for her today, too. She stared at the missing bite out of her ice cream. You probably could have beaten him, right, Roxas?

  She didn’t even know the impostor’s name, so why did she have the feeling she’d seen his face before?

  Her Keyblade… What if it really was a sham, like he said?

  Impostor, sham, lie, mistake… Failure.

  “Xion…? Hey, Xion!”

  She jumped as Roxas broke into her thoughts.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Sorry… My mind’s just wandering.”

  There were so many things she had to think about. Way too many.

  I bet you don’t let all the thinking bog you down, do you, Roxas? About us, about Nobodies, about Kingdom Hearts… About the heart.

  Why does it hurt so much, do you think?

  “Um, Roxas…”

  “Yeah?”

  “Why are we doing all this?”

  “Huh?” The smile left his face as he sank into thought, but only for a moment. “What do you mean, why? It’s so we can get hearts of our own.”

  Straight out of the Organization handbook, Xion thought. “But why? What do we need hearts for?”

  “I dunno.” Roxas shrugged. “I always figured…it’ll all make sense once we have them.”

  She still felt like he was just parroting what he’d always been taught. But all that answer did was give them permission not to think. It was nothing more than an injunction against asking why. End of story, no more questions.

  Once we have hearts, everything will just make sense? Really?

  “Maybe,” Xion mumbled skeptically. Roxas gave her an anxious look. Staring down at her feet, she went on, “I just wish I knew why I’m here, in the Organization…”

  How did I get here? Why do I have to use the Keyblade to collect hearts?

  A sham, that guy said… Why does it bother me so much?

  “I’ve been having the strangest dreams,” Xion added.

  “Really?”

  “I can never remember what they’re about. I just…wake up scared.”

  She couldn’t get that guy out of her head, so she must have dreamed about him. In fact, she almost wondered if she’d met him in a dream at some point. But who was he?

  She couldn’t remember. And she didn’t want to remember the dreams. It hurt. Like a painful lump was stuck in her chest…in her heart.

  “Well, Xigbar told me you and I are both pretty special,” Roxas explained in an attempt to cheer her up. “He says we’re the best of the best.”

  Xion looked up at the optimism in his voice. “Special…? He must have meant I’m different. Because I’m a mistake.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  Roxas was so quick to shoot her down. But why?

  Doesn’t he think I’m a mistake, too? What’s so special about me?

  I can use a Keyblade. But what else?

  “We may both be special…” Xion stood up and gazed at the sky. “But, Roxas, I don’t think we’re the same.”

  “Xion…”

  He took her hand in his.

  And—she saw something.

  Red…a sky at sunset…

  I remember.

  A path stretching on and on. A crossroads… A brilliant moon.

  A moonlit sky…?

  “Let me go.” Xion wrenched her hand away.

  Roxas cried her name as she left, but she didn’t even look back.

  There was no trace of the young man in the cloak—of Riku—that he could find. In the end, he had to call it a day and RTC.

  Axel ducked into the sweets shop. “One ice cream, please!”

  “Here you go.”

  Sea-salt ice cream in hand, he meandered toward the clock tower.

  He’d never deluded himself that tracking down Riku would be easy, and neither had Saïx. It was just that if he went back and reported that he couldn’t find anything, he would have to deal with those attempts at “personality”—the sneers, the snide remarks, the only trappings of human emotion that Saïx ever showed. Not that Saïx was even capable of annoyance or disappointment, of course, what with the lack of a heart and all.

  Heading up the slope to the station, Axel bit into the ice cream bar. “This stuff is so salty,” he murmured to himself, as he often did.

  Still…Xion had fought Riku and lost. They’d probably talked, to some extent. Had Riku seen her face? Assuming he caught a glimpse, he could have sensed something from the echo of Naminé’s features there.

  When Axel reached the ledge atop the clock tower, he only saw one other figure there—Roxas. But hadn’t he been working with Xion today?

  “Hey, Roxas!” Axel greeted him.

  Roxas seemed especially down. “Hi, Axel…”

  “Xion still isn’t coming?”

  “You just missed her.” Roxas hung his head.

  Axel was beginning to gather that something had happened. He wondered if he should ask, then decided against it. But he couldn’t have said whether Saïx was the reason why. More like this wasn’t the time.

  So he sat down beside Roxas and ate his ice cream.

  The silence stretched on until Roxas stood up. “I’m about to get going, too.”

  “What, seriously?” Axel protested. “I just got here.”

  “Oh… Heh. Right, sorry.” Roxas awkwardly sat down again.

  Chewing on the ice cream stick, Axel noticed Roxas really was out of it. He couldn’t not be concerned. “Did something happen?”

  “It’s nothing…”

  That was a bald-faced lie. Whatever had happened, it was something Roxas didn’t know how to explain, Axel figured.

  He’d knew the look, though.

  “Girls are pretty complicated, huh?”

  At that, Roxas raised his head in surprise. “How’d you know it was her?”

  It was such a sincere question that Axel barely swallowed a laugh. The evidence was right there; Roxas wouldn’t be thinking of anything else.

  “’Cos you’re relatively simple,” Axel replied. “Well, most Nobodies are.”

  It was a joke, mostly,
but Roxas didn’t even snort. His reply was perfectly sincere. “But real people are complicated?”

  Axel took a deep breath and allowed himself one tiny chuckle before answering. “More complicated than us. And that goes double for the ladies.”

  “What about a girl Nobody like Xion?”

  “Less so than humans but more so than you or me.”

  Roxas squinted in confusion. “Yeah, I’m lost.”

  Well, sure you are, Axel thought. It doesn’t make a lot of sense in the first place.

  “Anyway, the important thing to remember when dealing with girls is not to push the wrong button,” he told Roxas with a grin, trying to keep the atmosphere light. “Got it memorized?”

  “Maybe that’s what I did…” Roxas let out a long, dramatic sigh. “I hit the wrong button.”

  “Well…just make sure you give her some space.”

  “What? Why?” He sounded frustrated.

  “Because if you rush in trying to fix things, you’ll just hit more buttons. Trust me on this one.”

  Roxas sighed again. “Fine… I guess.”

  He slumped into a pile, just like a boy with a heart.

  Axel couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore. “Aw, Roxas. You’re a good kid.”

  Roxas scowled at him. “Don’t call me a kid!”

  That only made it funnier. Axel lost it.

  “Stop laughing at me!”

  Somehow, Axel managed to contain himself, but he was still grinning. “Hey, it’s Xion, you know? It’ll be fine.”

  “I hope so…” Roxas looked out at the sunset.

  Yeah, it’ll be fine… Right, Xion?

  Hey… Who are you?

  Do you know who I am?

  Xion tossed and turned in her bed. She couldn’t quite tell if she was awake or still dreaming.

  I have to get up… But I can hardly move. I feel so heavy… Just a few more minutes.

  Yesterday, she’d seen so many things when she pulled her hand away from Roxas. What were they?

  Like that pitch-black sky.

  There was more…but that was all she could remember now. She didn’t know whether it had any connection to her dreams.

  Okay, now I have to get up. Right, here I am in my own bed, just like usual. And I can’t stay here today, because I can’t lose again.

  Today’s investigation took Axel to a world called Halloween Town. Roxas had been here a few days ago, too, but for Axel this was the first visit. Us Organization members should blend right in here, he thought in the unrelenting gloom.

  He poked around, taking out Heartless along the way, until he discovered a secret passageway behind a gravestone—but a ghostlike Heartless popped out to pick him up and slam him into the ground.

  “Wha—? OWWW!”

  Furiously chucking his chakrams, he managed to chase it off. Sheesh.

  And there was no sign of Riku in this world, either. Where’d that guy go?

  Roxas sat down on the clock tower, absently working on his ice cream. Axel wasn’t here yet. And he hadn’t seen Xion today.

  “The wrong button, huh…?” he mumbled into his ice cream.

  “Hey. Just you today?”

  “Yep…,” Roxas said without turning. He knew it was Axel behind him.

  Axel perched next to him and, likewise, started on his daily reward.

  This was…boring. Too quiet. Was it because Xion wasn’t here? Roxas sighed.

  Seeing his obvious discontent, Axel let out a soft laugh. “Well, they’re keeping me pretty busy. Maybe they’re doing the same for her.”

  “I know.”

  “Then cheer up already.”

  Do I look that down? Roxas wondered. “I’m not trying to…”

  He ducked his head to hide it from Axel. Sunset in Twilight Town was just the same as ever. And yet, Xion wasn’t here.

  Roxas gazed into the sunset, lost in thought.

  When he saw her small figure in the lobby, Axel hesitated for a second, then called out, “Xion!”

  She froze, not even turning to look at him.

  “Hey. Haven’t seen you in a bit.”

  “Oh… Yeah.” Xion’s voice was barely above a whisper. She didn’t bother to meet his eyes.

  “It’s been a while, y’know? We haven’t even had ice cream together since I got back.”

  “…Huh. You’re right.”

  “I keep seeing you around here, though.”

  “Uh-huh… Sorry, I have to get to work.”

  Before she could break into a run, Axel grabbed her arm. “Wait.”

  “Let me go…” Xion nearly keeled over, but Axel held her upright.

  “Hey.” He peered into her face, which was white as a sheet. “Are you feeling okay?”

  Xion shook her head. “It’s nothing… Sorry.” She started walking away as fast as she could.

  “It’s Xion, you know? It’ll be fine.”

  Axel recalled what he’d said to Roxas, and suddenly, he wasn’t so sure.

  “No, wait.” He took her arm again.

  “I’m sorry; I can’t talk. Let me go.”

  “Hey, about the impostor…”

  Xion finally looked up at him, her eyes wide. “You know about that?”

  “Well, everyone does.”

  “Oh… I guess they would.” Xion slumped over.

  Axel was afraid she’d misunderstood—she might think that he meant everyone knew about her loss. He let go of her arm and watched her steadily. “The search for him is still underway.”

  “Is that your job?”

  “Yup.” Xion met his eyes, and Axel only waited a moment before telling her, “His name’s Riku.”

  “Riku…,” she softly echoed, touching her lips after they formed the name. The information was probably new to her. “Do you know who he is?”

  “…Yeah.” Axel nodded.

  “Where did he go?”

  “I don’t know…yet.”

  “Oh.” She looked away again.

  “Xion, what happened?”

  “Nothing. It’s just, I lost to him… Riku.”

  “That’s all? You sure?”

  “Yeah… That’s all. I lost.”

  Axel had his doubts—but it wasn’t like Roxas attempting to avoid a topic. This went deeper.

  “Look, Xion. This guy isn’t your average opponent. It’s no wonder you couldn’t beat him.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Because he’s—”

  “What are you two doing? I gave you missions.”

  Of course Saïx would cut him off just as he started getting to the point.

  “…Saïx,” Axel muttered.

  “Get to work.”

  Xion darted away. When Axel tried to catch her arm once more, his hand closed on empty air. He let out a sigh.

  “Do I have to tell you again?” Saïx remarked. “Don’t concern yourself with them.”

  “…I’m not all that concerned,” said Axel.

  “What use is your information to number fourteen anyway? Divulging it would be meaningless.”

  “No point…? What about you? Why’d you have Roxas and Xion hang out after she fought Riku?”

  She hadn’t been the same since that battle. And then Saïx had deliberately put her in contact with Roxas. After that mission, Roxas and Xion had their falling out… Was that Saïx’s plan all along?

  “I can’t tell you that right now.” Saïx gave a slight shake of his head.

  Axel snorted at the gravitas. “What? Are you gonna tell me I’ve changed again?”

  “No… I was just thinking you should remain in contact with them for now. But not if you’re about to tell Xion or Roxas what you know about Riku.”

  “…Not following.”

  “No? I thought I was quite clear. Just don’t get too involved. That’s all.” Saïx promptly marched away.

  Watching him go, Axel sighed.

  His name is Riku.

  Riku.

  And I have to defeat him�
��

  Xion brought down the Keyblade. The Heartless melted away, and a tiny heart floated into the sky.

  These creatures are so fragile. I want to win against something stronger. Like him.

  Riku—I won’t lose.

  I’ll have to become stronger than him, and then…

  And then?

  Can I……?

  Axel had a hunch that if he could just track down that kid, things might improve a little. But it wasn’t happening. He couldn’t pick up the trail.

  In the usual spot on the clock tower, Axel felt someone arrive behind him. He hailed them as cheerfully as he could with his mouth full of ice cream. “Hey! How’s your day treatin’ you?”

  Roxas sat down next to him without a word, until he asked, “Have you seen Xion?”

  “Nope, not yet.”

  “Oh…” Roxas stared at his lap.

  “Can’t believe she’s skipping out on us,” Axel remarked.

  Roxas shook his head. “It’s up to her whether she comes or not.”

  That didn’t sound like him at all. “Well, sure, that’s fair…”

  They sat side by side, eating their ice cream. The sunset was the same beautiful crimson as always.

  “Axel, can I ask you something?” said Roxas, when he was about halfway through his bar.

  “What’s up? Something happen?”

  “It’s…just something I heard about on the mission today. Um…” Roxas screwed up his face in concentration. “Do you know what love is?”

  “…’Scuse me?”

  “It’s something powerful, right? Where does it come from?”

  Roxas was completely in earnest.

  Love… Huh.

  “It is powerful, but it’s not a power we get to have.” Axel had very little confidence in his ability to explain it. But whenever Roxas or Xion had questions about the mysteries of the human heart, he did his best to answer.

  “Nobodies can’t love?” Roxas asked.

  “Nope. You need a heart for that.”

  “Oh… Right.” Roxas fell quiet, pensive.

  Axel kept talking. “Love is what happens when there’s something really special between people.”

  “More special than friends? Like…if they’re best friends? Inseparable?”

  “Well, you can care about your friends, but that’s not exactly it…” Axel paused, groping for words that might make sense to Roxas.