The SEAL’s Surprise Baby: Hartsville’s SEAL Heroes Book Two

by North, Leslie

  “That’s a lot of questions.” His tone was cautious and a little doubtful.

  “I’ve got more if you want to hear them.” An infinite number of questions crowded for space in her head, so many that she was struggling to sort them into categories.

  “I don’t,” he said abruptly. “Let’s accept that it’s over. That’s what Rogers’s guys think, and they tend to be right.”

  So did she, she wanted to argue. She’d never made an inaccurate prediction that she knew of. Her suggestions hadn’t always been followed by her superiors, but she had a track record of being spot on. She’d gotten lucky one time, she acknowledged. She’d made the correct prediction, but it was based on incorrect data. If she’d had the right intel, her advice would have been very different. It had shaken her confidence—but, ironically, gotten her a promotion.

  She struggled to shake off her unease about their current situation. Something nagged at her.

  Yet she wanted it to be over. Living with the threat of constant danger had worn on her nerves. Maybe that’s all her questions were: her own unwillingness to let her guard down. She’d been in a state of high alert since her car was riddled with bullets, and it was tough to let it go.

  “Maybe you’re right,” she conceded, accepting that stress and adrenaline might be driving her thoughts more than logic and facts were. Her worries were still spinning around in her head, but she’d review the intel again in the morning when she’d rested and could think more clearly. They could put Nate to bed, snuggle on the couch, and watch a movie. That sounded like the perfect way to end the chaos of the day. She was just about to suggest it when he spoke.

  “I need to make some phone calls so I can figure out how to get the hell out of here.” He sounded desperate to leave, a man formulating an escape route.

  She turned her attention to him, truly looking at his face for the first time in several minutes. The tension that should have left when the bad guys were hauled away was still there. It might even be stronger. But what was the source, since he seemed to accept that the Russian mob was no longer after them?

  “We’ll need separate cars to get home. I can pick mine up where it’s being held, but you don’t own one at all anymore. Rogers can probably help you out with that. I won’t leave until I know you have a way home.” He ticked off details as if planning a mission.

  He’d moved on, she realized, catching on to his train of thought. He was worried about how they could go their separate ways. So it was over between them. That’s what he was saying. She picked up her water glass and forced herself to take a swallow while she tried to formulate a response.

  “I heard from my CO earlier today,” he continued. “There’s a mission deploying in two weeks that he wants me on, so I have just enough time to go home and close up my house before I need to be back on base.”

  “And after that?” she asked, proud of her calm tone.

  “There’ll be another mission. Always is.” He met her eyes over the table. “I’m never in the States for more than a few weeks at a time.”

  That might have been true for him, though she knew other SEALs who weren’t deployed as often. Anderson had language skills that made him unique, but she suspected he volunteered for extra duties. Either way, his message to her was clear. He wasn’t interested in being a dad to Nate or anything to her.

  She stood up. “Can we talk about this in the morning? I’m tired, and you must be, too. Let’s make it an early night.” She detached the tray from Nate’s high chair and lifted him out.

  “That’s a good idea,” he said. “I’ll stay down here on the couch.”

  “Why would you do that, since you think the danger is over?” she asked, though she knew the answer she would receive. He didn’t want to share a bed with her. Hell, he didn’t want to sleep on the same floor of the house, apparently.

  “You know why, Violet,” he said, taking Nate from her. “I’ll settle him for the night. You go to bed.” He walked out of the kitchen ahead of her and headed for the stairs.

  She’d never been ordered to bed by a man, and everything in her bristled against it. He was dismissing her as if she were a child, which hurt, but the worst part was that he was dismissing Nate as well. And that broke her heart.

  She stood in the kitchen listening to the sounds overhead. Anderson was talking to Nate as he got him ready for bed—as if he wasn’t going to walk away from his son tomorrow. How could he do that? No matter what Anderson believed about himself as a potential father, didn’t he have some affection for the child he’d helped care for?

  Anger and sorrow rose in Violet in equal amounts, and she knew she wasn’t going to be able to stay silent. She gathered up their dinner dishes, loaded the dishwasher, and cleaned the kitchen while she waited for Anderson to come back down. When her tasks were done, she paced around the living room until she heard footsteps on the stairs. She whirled to face him.

  “I thought you were going to bed,” Anderson said, tossing a blanket and a pillow on the couch.

  “And I thought you might care about Nate and me,” she shot back.

  “I do,” he said, scrubbing a hand over his face, “but it’s… complicated.”

  “What’s complicated about it? Across the world there are millions of families where this isn’t complicated.” She worked to calm her tone.

  “Right. Millions of normal families from generations of normal families, who know how to be a family. We don’t.” His hands went to his hips.

  They were a family, but insisting on that wasn’t the right tack with him. “Do you think all those normal moms and dads instinctively knew how to be parents? I’m sure they didn’t. The fact that you seem to think you aren’t fatherly shouldn’t prevent you from trying.”

  “I can’t do it, Violet,” he declared. “I never said I would. In fact, I clearly told you the opposite.”

  “You don’t love him, then?” She watched his face closely, watched his eyes shift as he tried to formulate an answer to her question. He didn’t want to respond. That was obvious. But why? Because he didn’t love his son… or was it something else? Was it about her?

  He turned away and arranged the blanket on the couch, carefully tucking it in as if doing that tucked away his emotions as well. It was neat and compartmentalized, and she felt like tearing it apart. She had the overwhelming sense that this was her last opportunity to reach him. In the morning, he’d find excuses not to discuss their relationship and probably have her packed into a new car and sent home by noon. This was the time to be honest about her own feelings toward him, because she might not get another chance.

  “Anderson, look at me.” She waited until he turned toward her. His arms went across his chest in a defensive posture, but he wasn’t going to deter her from what she had to say. “I want us to be a family, for Nate’s sake. Every little boy should have a daddy, and despite what you say, I think you love him. I know you’d do anything to protect him and make sure he had what he needed—and those are behaviors of a loving father. I’m done with hearing that you aren’t father material because you had a lousy dad yourself.” His eyes narrowed, dark and dangerous. “I’d think you’d want to prove you could be a good dad despite that.”

  “Don’t goad me,” he warned. She almost smiled at him. His words reminded her of their exchanges in Moscow when the white heat of their attraction had flared. She’d missed the banter later, but she’d also come to realize how much she’d misunderstood their initial relationship. What had happened halfway around the world had formed the basis of what they had now. If she could only make him see that.

  “I’m not,” she said. “I’m speaking the truth, and you know it—but I’m not done yet.” She paused for a few seconds to gather her strength before plunging on. “Sometime, somehow, I fell in love with you. It started during our fights in Russia, and it’s what drove me to seek you out and tell you we had a son.” It was only as she made that declaration that she realized it was true—that love for him had be
en her impetus. She’d thought it only fair that he know of their child, but somewhere deep inside her she’d clung to the hope of love with Anderson. She’d lied to herself about the strength of her feelings for Anderson, but she wasn’t doing that anymore. “And the time here has made me sure of my love for you. I want you in my life, Anderson—for Nate, but for me, too.”

  She could have gone on detailing the reasons she loved him, the ways she loved him, but she could see he was struggling. His jaw was hard set, as if working to keep something in… or keep love out. She didn’t know which, so she waited, hoping that she’d gotten through to him.

  “Go to bed, Violet,” he finally said, repeating his command from an hour earlier.

  “You have nothing to say to me?” she asked softly. She wasn’t expecting a declaration of love, but she’d hoped for something that showed she mattered to him.

  “Just that I’ve fulfilled my end of the bargain.” His words seemed rationed out. “I’ve protected you and Nate. You’re safe now, and this is over. I’ll make sure you get home, and I’ll arrange financial support for Nate. That’s it, Violet.” He held his hands out in the “all gone” gesture she’d seen him use with Nate. “That’s all I’ve got to give.”

  She felt her face crack, fracture into a thousand pieces, and found herself unable to speak. As she went past him to the stairs, she didn’t know if she felt more hurt for herself or for him. If he truly believed he had nothing to give her and Nate, that was the saddest thing she’d ever heard.

  17

  Violet struggled up out of nightmares when her phone’s alarm went off. Nate would be waking any minute for his morning feeding. If she got out of bed that instant, she could at least brush her teeth before going to him. Instead, she remained under the covers. Clean teeth weren’t enough motivation to make her move yet. It had taken her hours to get to even a fitful sleep. She’d replayed her conversation with Anderson a hundred times in her head.

  On the one hand, she was proud of what she’d managed to say. She’d laid it on the line, and that had felt good… in a way. Anderson’s absolute unwillingness to even consider staying with her and Nate, though, left her with a crushing sensation in her chest. Once, during the night, she’d heard him come upstairs, and she’d had a fleeting hope he’d come to her, but he passed her room and went to Nate’s. She’d watched the clock. Anderson had stayed in the boy’s room for precisely ten minutes before she heard his footsteps going back down the stairs.

  In the morning quiet, she listened for any movement from downstairs, but it was absolutely still. As far as she knew, he had already left. She could imagine him staying up throughout the night and making the arrangements. It would all be very neat and tidy, perfectly orchestrated, but the outcome would be that he was leaving her, leaving them.

  Maybe he was simply out on a patrol of the neighborhood. He seemed to think it necessary to do that, even if this wasn’t the most exciting place. Other days, he’d returned from his early-morning reconnaissance missions and told her funny stories. A man on the next street let his dog out in the yard and stood buck naked in the window waiting for the animal to come back in. A jogger who flailed like a windmill when she ran had nearly plowed Anderson over on a different morning.

  She winced, recalling the domestic scenes in the kitchen while they made breakfast and planned their days. It had seemed so real to her, but if what he’d said the night before was true, he’d simply been doing a job.

  Her phone screen glowed with a message. She scrambled for it, wanting it to be Anderson, but it was her mom.

  Just checking on you and Nate. Love you.

  Violet could have sent a message back, but the thought of hearing her mom’s voice was too great a temptation—and besides, she should tell her mom that they were safe. She hit the call button.

  “Good morning, sweetie,” her mom said immediately.

  “Hi, Mom. I wanted to let you know that Nate and I’ll be going home soon, probably today. The situation is over, and we’re fine.” She didn’t give the details of the home invasion. No need to worry her mom now that it was over.

  “I’m so relieved to hear that. Would you mind if I come for a visit soon?”

  “Not at all. Nate and I would love to see you.” The thought of some time with her mom made Violet feel marginally better.

  “Are you going home alone?” Her mother’s voice softened.

  “Looks like it. Anderson’s not interested in being a father.” There, she’d made herself say that.

  “His loss.” Her mom’s reply made her smile a little. “But yours and Nate’s, too. I’m sorry, sweetie.”

  “Me, too. I had hoped… Well, I shouldn’t be surprised. My analysis, you know. Oh, Mom, I wanted to be wrong about him. And I’ve made another terrible— Just a second.” She thought she heard a sound, so she paused and listened for Nate. When it wasn’t repeated, she went on and told her mother about her conversation with Anderson the night before. “I told him I loved him and wanted a life with him, and he said that he had nothing to give. I took a giant risk and… miscalculated.”

  For someone who analyzed risk and made projections for a living, she hadn’t seen her situation with Anderson very clearly.

  “Maybe when he’s away from you and Nate, he’ll realize what he’s missing,” her mother suggested.

  “I suppose that’s possible,” she said, but Anderson would be on a mission within the month and all his attention would be focused on the job. Would he even spare a thought for them?

  A door downstairs opened and closed. He must be back from his neighborhood patrol. She should go face him and get it over with, since Nate was still quiet. “I’ve got to go, Mom. I’ll call you later.”

  “Take care, and give Nate a kiss for me,” her mom said.

  “I will. Bye.” Violet hung up, got out of bed, and wrapped a robe around herself. She took a second to peek at Nate, but he was still sound asleep, so she closed his door and went down the steps.

  When she reached the bottom, a heavy hand clamped over her mouth and her back was forced against a large body. She reacted immediately to break his hold. She slammed her head back, hoping to catch him in the nose, but he was so large her head only made contact with his shoulder. Next, she stomped her heel down on his foot, but she was barefoot, and he was wearing boots. With a malicious chuckle, the man lifted her from the floor, proving his strength.

  “Stop struggling, or I’ll have to hurt you,” a voice with a thick Russian accent said in her ear. “And I don’t want to do that… yet.” He pulled her back against him even more tightly, and she knew no defensive moves or screaming would help her. She could only pray that Nate wouldn’t wake up.

  * * *

  It was barely light out when Anderson left the house. He needed to move to process the thoughts in his head. The conversation with Violet the night before had been brutal and raw, and he had no idea how to react other than what he’d said to her. He’d given her and Nate what he could, and he had nothing more in him. He was sure of that.

  But, Jesus, she’d shocked him to his core with her declaration of love. He’d been too stunned to move, pinned down with an emotion he couldn’t name. All he could think to do was extract himself. And he would do that later today. He’d make sure she and Nate had a clear way back to her house. Hell, he’d buy her a new car himself. He wanted them to be safe. He just couldn’t be with them.

  As he turned the first corner, he forced himself to focus on his patrol. He'd been careful not to walk the same pattern each morning, but he always accomplished the same goal. He started close to the safe house, checking the streets, and moved outward in a widening circle. He’d been attuned to black SUVs over the past days, but out of habit he looked for anything unusual.

  Well… anything unusual for a neighborhood with some definite quirks.

  Despite the turbulent night he’d spent, he couldn’t forget what Violet had said while they ate dinner. At first, he’d dismissed her concern that the t
akedown had been too easy, but the more he thought about it, the more he wondered if she was right. She was a hell of an analyst—he knew that from experience. So he’d stay on his guard. Before he sent her and Nate home, he needed to be sure there was no lingering threat against them.

  “Good morning, Anderson,” Kelly called from across the street. She and Evie were out for their morning powerwalk. He encountered them nearly every day as they made a circuit of the neighborhood. “You had some excitement at your house.”

  Both women crossed the street to intercept him. He wanted to run for it, but he held his ground. “We did, but it’s all fine now.” He gave them an easy smile to suggest his words were true.

  “We were worried when the police pulled up,” Kelly said. “Nothing like that ever happens in this neighborhood.”

  “I guess the guy had left something hidden in the house when it sat empty, and he came back to retrieve it. We surprised him as much as he surprised us.” Anderson had prepared the explanation in advance, just in case.

  “What had he left?” Evie asked.

  “The police didn’t tell us, but I’m guessing it was something illegal.” He figured that was a believable comment.

  “I’m glad you were there and Violet wasn’t home alone,” Kelly said with a shiver. “How is she? Better?”

  “All recovered,” he said, feeling genuine relief. He worried about Violet. A lot.

  “That’s good. I’m making lasagna tonight. How about if I make an extra for you and Violet?” Evie was smiling at him, expecting him to accept.