Ghost Bird

by Lisa Fuller

  The giggles from the car have me shaking my head. Womba thing.

  Rhi drops me home and stays long enough to see I’m alone, before taking off to go check on her siblings. I don’t want to shower off the chill from the river, but Mum will take one look at me and know I’ve been swimming. I take a super-fast one to keep Nan’s lecturing voice at bay. Stashing my dirty clothes at the bottom of the laundry, I walk to Laney’s room.

  Pushing the door open I think about the last time I’d seen her here, forcing her to get up. Between then and now, Mum and I have searched together and separately, and it didn’t look right anymore. There are no clothes on the floor and not a single shoe to throw. Laney’s bedside table is neatly stacked with her books and different things she usually leaves around the house, like her lip glosses, nail polish, hairbands and whatever else. Mum must’ve been bringing them in here bits at a time. It’s so stupid that it hurts to think of her presence leaving the rest of the house and coming to settle only in here. The bed is made, and everything is ready for when Laney comes home.

  Sitting on her mattress I let it sink in. This space that she’d filled is now blank and empty. We are both pretty private, even being twins we don’t trespass in each other’s rooms. Being in here without her feels like a betrayal. When we find her I didn’t know how we were going to explain this to her. I pick up the black nail polish she loves so much and turn it around in my hands. There’s only so long I can put this off.

  Swallowing my guilt, I reach for the top drawer of her bedside table. Inside everything is stacked as neatly as the outside and I frown. Of course Mum has been back here too. I flip through everything, and other than some defaced notebooks that Mum will shout about later, there isn’t anything that sticks out.

  My motivation lasts through most of the room but it’s all like that first drawer. Mum has been through it all with a fine-tooth comb. Finding the yarndi pipe tucked inside Laney’s track shoes makes me wince. When she got home she’d have a little grace period, but it wouldn’t last. She’d be hauled over the coals for all of this. Thomson women hold grudges like it’s a competitive sport. Maybe I should petition the Sydney organisers to add it to next year’s Olympics.

  I flop back on Laney’s bed, discouraged and confused. I stare up at all the posters she has lining the walls and ceiling. She collects all the teen magazines and reads them from cover to cover, but the posters are her favourite bits. I teased her constantly about all the shirtless actors and musicians she had up there, till she caught me watching Days of Our Lives just so I could perv on Jensen Ackles.

  The memory makes me smile as I skim my eyes over Laney’s gallery. She swaps them out regularly with each new heart-throb, all except for the Tupac one on her cupboard door, and the LL Cool J one on the ceiling, right above where her head lies. His trademark bucket hat and sexy grin are the only things he has on, giving a full view of that lovely chest. I trace my eyes over it, drawn to something in one corner. One pec is popping out in a weird way, making him look lopsided. I snort a laugh, Laney will be so pissed if her precious poster is damaged.

  Still, it does look strange and I can’t resist standing on the bed and reaching up. I trace around the pec, feeling like a pervert, until I feel something shift. Frowning, I prod each of his nipples, and nothing moves except for that first one. My heart skips a beat as I work to loosen the Blu Tack on one corner. I do not want to be the one that damages it or Laney will damage me. Once it’s free, I peel back the top corner and jump back with a yelp as something drops, hitting me on the head and brushing down my body. I see a furry black thing fly past. Huntsman! I leap a metre in the air and off the bed, brushing frantically everywhere the thing touched.

  Only once I calm down, do I look again. The small black thing is still there. A velvet bag?

  Picking it up, I realise it’s a jeweller’s bag. Pulling open the drawstring, I push the bottom up until I see a glint of gold. I drop the thin gold chain into my palm. The pendant is a sweet little rock that has streaks of different colours in it. There are heaps of different rocks and things like this just lying around the hills. No one bothers with them because they aren’t valuable, but they’re pretty. Still, none of us would turn something like this into a necklace for fear it might be one of ‘those’ rocks. The ones Nan and all the aunties and uncles warn us about, that you only ever find in the caves around here. Not that I believe in those things anymore, but Laney sure as hell does, so why did she have this?

  The last time I saw her played out in my mind’s eye, letting her brush by me, watching her run off to Troy’s car. The feeling in the house that afternoon, like something wasn’t right. She has always been more trusting than me. The present from the dream? If he’d given it to her and told her he got it from a shop? The black velvet bag even made it look official. Laney would buy that. Besides, only the old people could tell which rocks were normal and which were taboo.

  Everyone knew the story of the anthropologist who’d come to town way back when my great-grandmother was a girl. He’d gone up into the hills and come back with a rock from a cave, talking about how beautiful it was and showing it all around the pub. The old people warned him, told him straight to take the rock back and do it fast. He scoffed at them and did what he wanted, as whitefullas will do. He got sick that night and was rushed to the hospital. When they couldn’t find anything wrong with him, he got scared and asked the old people to take it back. They told him it wouldn’t do any good – he had to be the one to take the rock back and put it exactly where he’d got it from or he’d die. They reckoned that man crawled up them hills he was that sick. Later that night he came walking down like nothing was wrong. The anthropologist left town after that and no one saw him again.

  A cold shiver runs down my back as I sit with that pretty rock in my hand. I might not believe it myself, but I don’t want to test it out either, not after last night. Besides, it’s almost dark, I’m alone and just because I’m being logical doesn’t mean I’m not shitting myself just thinking about it. I shove it back in the bag, tightening the string like I can tie it off in my mind.

  The big question is, do I tell Mum? I think about all the other stuff I’ve seen. The notebooks with the swear words and hate speech that Laney had written on it, and that pipe sitting in her shoe. Maybe this is one thing that could stay as mine and Laney’s secret. Besides, the person who needs to see this is May. It probably isn’t even one of those special stones, and she’ll laugh at me for having it.

  Decision made, I hop up on the bed and tuck it back into its hiding spot. I am grudgingly impressed with the spot, and it gets me thinking about all the places Laney could’ve stashed other things. She’s crafty, and I’d have to start thinking like her if I was going to get anywhere. Pressing the poster firmly onto the Blu Tack I feel better for having found one piece of the puzzle, and want to ensure it stays safe in its well hidden spot. Maybe I also put it back because I don’t want to look at or touch that necklace all that much.

  Hopping down I eye everything in the room with new purpose and think about all the spy movies we’d ever seen. There is no telling if this is the ‘present’; I have to be sure. I am going to do this again and this time I’ll do it properly.

  Half an hour later I’m just getting started feeling up Laney’s mattress when I hear Uncle’s car out front. I stay where I am. Laney’s room is at the front of the house, so I can hear them talking as they climb out and come inside. It’s clear they’ve had another useless day of searching. I swallow my disappointment and go back to the mattress.

  ‘Tace?’ Mum calls from the lounge.

  ‘In here.’

  She walks into the room, watching for a bit.

  ‘Daughter, what are ya doin?’

  ‘Laney’s crafty like a fox so I’m not takin anythin for granted.’

  She looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. ‘Ya really think Laney hid something in her mattress?’
>
  ‘Never underestimate a Thomson girl up to no good. Nan said you were the worst one for it when you were a teen.’

  Mum actually blushes, and I try to not to laugh.

  ‘Right. Well, come and ave a feed now, ay? Ya can keep lookin after.’

  I drop the mattress and follow her out, trying not to stare at the ceiling.

  Day 5, Twilight

  Listening to Mum and Uncle Joe rave on over dinner isn’t what I expect. They’ve been sending cousins out looking in every direction and Mum has a map she’s drawn up. Sitting over it they mark up the places Uncle and some of the cousins have covered today. It’s the weekend so more family have joined in the search. I am so proud of my mob it makes my chest feel a bit lighter.

  Uncle won’t look at me. Mum gives me a few hand gestures behind his back to say leave it be for now. He doesn’t say anything about my face so I guess she told him what happened. The guilt weighs down in my guts again, but I force myself to pick at the fish and chips they brought home.

  I sit through their strategy meeting twirling my cutlery, trying not to think about how bored I am. Everything seems so much more dramatic when I’m sneaking around behind their backs. I should probably feel bad about that.

  Every now and then I cast an eye at the map, noticing the markings Mum has made, following them with my eyes. I take my plate into the kitchen and get another pot on the go. I’m bored but I don’t want to be left out when I’ve made such a big deal about being included, so I walk back to the table. Before I sit down I take a better look at the page. It is a couple of A3 sheets Mum has stuck together and sketched from her’s and Uncle’s memories. There are a few glaring open spaces where property owners haven’t allowed us to search, not unexpectedly. But they’ve found a lot who will help, and they’ve been searching along the boundaries of where they can’t go. There’s one place that has multiple lines criss-crossing around the edges and none inside it.

  ‘What about the Potters’?’

  Both heads swing around to me and Uncle’s anger hits me full force. I’m shocked – he’s usually a pretty laid-back kind of man. His look promises a private talk later that I will not enjoy.

  ‘Youse ave been everywhere except there, but we saw some of it,’ I try again.

  ‘We go where we have permission. Most of us aren’t silly enough to cross white people with guns,’ Uncle growls. Still, I can see it’s playing on his mind because he points at the surrounding properties. ‘We’ve gotten as close as we can. Most of the owners out that way don’t like the Potters much either.’

  ‘I know they won’t let us look, Uncle, but maybe it’s time we just did what we had to? Isn’t that where Laney went in the first place?’ His face darkens as I remind him of all the reasons he is furious with me.

  Mum intervenes. ‘Not accordin to Troy.’ She pulls the map closer and points at a different property. I can’t remember the name of this one but it shares the Potter’s western border. ‘This is where he told the cops they parked, then they walked over onto the Potters’ place. We’ve been all over there but.’

  ‘That’s not what Tyrone told Rhi.’ I frown. ‘He told her they were near the m—’ I look up into Uncle’s face and change tack. ‘Place we shouldn’t go. But Dan Potter and Mick Franks said something … about too many blackfullas out there lately?’

  I can’t look at Uncle but I swear he’s snarling under his breath.

  ‘Daughter, if we’re gonna go near that place, you need to be sure.’ Mum doesn’t have to spell out the danger.

  I try to remember but the specifics just won’t come. ‘I’d have to ask Rhi to be sure.’

  ‘Give her a ring, quick.’

  I bolt to the house phone that’s stashed in a corner of the dining room and call Aunty Mel’s number. The hectic sound of kids going mad floods my ears.

  ‘Oi, what’s up?’ Rhi’s voice throws me right off.

  ‘That’s how you answer the phone?’

  ‘We got caller ID now, cuzzie.’ Rhi laughs. ‘So what’s up? Quick, I’m in the middle of feedin the kids.’

  Aunty Mel has a fair few of them and Rhi is the oldest so she’s always busy round this time.

  ‘Do ya memba what Mick said bout blackfullas being out there?’

  ‘Something about settin a example to stop more blacks goin there?’

  My memory jolts. ‘Boongs and their bombs! Thanks, cuz!’

  I hang up as she shouts something.

  ‘Rhi said Mick went on about too many blackfullas bein out there and how they needed to set another example to stop them comin out in their bombs. Why would they talk about the car if Troy and his mob hadn’t been there?’ Folding my arms I dare them to tell me I’m wrong. I can see their hesitation.

  Mum puts her head in her hands. ‘Why there of all places?’

  ‘We can’t go out there, Al.’ Uncle is tense and I see something I never thought I’d see. Uncle Joe is scared, really scared.

  ‘Not us, but the cops could.’ Mum’s head comes back up. ‘We’re goin to Mundubbera, Joe, right now.’

  ‘How do we get them to look in the right place?’ He isn’t trying to poke holes, I can see that, but he is pissing Mum off.

  ‘We’ll report her missin first, because that arsehole won’t ave done it. Then we convince em that we need to search the Potters’ place. We’ve got a thirty-minute drive to think about how we do it. The important thing is to get em involved, even if we ave to force the bastards.’

  Declaration made, Mum is up and moving. I’ve seen her like this only once before. The night we lost Nan she’d been this grim and almost as determined. God help the Mundubbera cops. Uncle knows it too. He drags along in her wake, looking worried.

  I walk with them to the door, wishing I could go but I know she won’t let me. ‘Mum, is there anything I can be doin?’

  She turns on me and growls. ‘Stay. Here!’

  I nod like my head is going to bob right off.

  Grabbing her purse, she marches out. Uncle gives me one last dirty look. ‘Do as you’re told, Stacey Thomson.’

  Once he’s out the door I roll my eyes. So not as scary as Mum.

  I go to the kitchen and clean everything up while I listen for any doubling back by my paranoid parent. Not that I can really blame her. I am definitely up to no good. I keep a close eye on the clock while I clean. An hour to get there and back, probably a fair bit of paperwork. Lots of shouting from Mum to get the cops to listen, although they’re usually better than the Eidsvold fullas – they will at least listen. Maybe two hours max.

  With a shiny kitchen and no sign of Mum, I go to the phone and call information.

  ‘Number for Toni Miller in Eidsvold please.’

  I don’t need a pen. The first five digits are always the same.

  I hang up and dial. I haven’t given myself much time to think, I decide to just bullshit my way through and hope like hell the Millers don’t have caller ID.

  ‘Hello?’

  The air rushes out of me.

  ‘Sam, it’s me. Don’t hang up!’

  There’s a brief silence when a woman’s voice in the background yells out.

  ‘Bloody telemarketers,’ Sam calls back.

  ‘I’m sorry! But I found somethin and I need to show it to May.’

  ‘Look, this is a really shit time. I’m about to head out fishin.’

  ‘Great! Where? I’ll come to you.’

  ‘No, there’s no good time, don’t fuckin call back,’ he snarls and hangs up.

  I look at the phone in shock.

  What the hell?

  I shake it off fast. I need to get in touch with Rhi. We’re meeting with May, fuck Sam Miller and his opinions. I try Aunty Mel’s place but get no answer. The clock is ticking in time with my heart. My window is narrowing.

  Their place is only a fi
ve-minute walk. I can do it in less.

  I take a quick detour to grab the necklace, stuffing it into my back pocket before I head out. I get a block away when Toni Miller’s car pulls up beside me in full view of every man and his dog. The driver hops out and comes around the front, right at me.

  ‘What are ya doin?’ I hiss.

  ‘I could ask you the same thing. What, ya want me to get a third floggin for your sake?’ Sam stops in front of me, his lip curls like he smells something bad.

  My conscience rears up and bites me. ‘Shit, Sam I’m sorry, I—’

  ‘Save it. The only reason I’m ere is cos Aunty wants to see ya.’

  ‘You told er I called?’

  ‘I didn’t tell er nuthin. She told me to take er fishin, then said we had to come into town and pick somethin up. What she meant was come tell you.’ His bitterness hurts in a way I don’t have time to think about.

  ‘Sam, I said I was sorry.’

  ‘Whatever, Thomson. I’m doing this for her, not you. She says if ya don’t meet us tonight you’ll lose ya sister to the dark, whatever that means. I’m takin her fishin at Tolderodden, at that spot I took youse both. Ya know, after I got flogged up for ya the second time. If ya aren’t there that’s your own fuckin fault.’

  Spinning on his heel he leaves me on the sidewalk with my mouth open and my chest hurting. I really managed to screw that up.

  No time! I bolt for Rhi’s house and hope the tears won’t fall.

  Day 5, Night

  ‘What are we doin, Tace?’

  Rhi’s words hit me as I slink into her car, keeping my eyes peeled for any movements in the dark surrounds of the house. We haven’t been punished for our dirty deeds yet so she still has a car and I have a bit of freedom. Laney has them all distracted for the time being. This waiting time is weird. I feel like I’m a mouse tempting fate by gnawing at a bit of cheese that may or may not be attached to something that will swing down and crush me. The mouse analogy works for right now too, as I hunch down in Rhi’s front seat not looking at her.