"No, but I will next week when bills are due."
"Riley, you know she won't pay the bills. She'll use the money for booze, just like all the other times."
"She's only done that a few times."
"Just take the bills and pay them yourself. You can't trust her to do it."
"I've told her I'll pay them, but she won't let me. She hides them and tells me they're paid. Nate, I don't want to talk about this. I want to go and have breakfast and talk about something else."
Riley's quiet for the rest of the ride, which isn't like her at all. She always talks to me when she's upset, but now she won't. Is it because of what happened last night?
When we get to the restaurant, I wait until we order before bringing it up.
"Are you mad at me?" I ask.
"Mad?" She crinkles her nose, which I always find adorable. She does the cutest things. She's always making me smile. I love her so much. It's going to be hard just being her friend when I love her this much, but I'll just have to find a way to make it work.
"You were quiet the whole way here. I thought maybe it's because you're still mad about how I acted last night."
"I'm not mad. I just don't feel like talking about my mom."
"Why not? You always feel better once you talk about it. So go ahead."
"Nate, I..." She looks down at the table. "I don't want you telling me what to do."
"I wasn't going to."
"You will." She looks up at me. "You already did. You were trying to tell me what to do when we were in the car. And when I don't do what you tell me, you get annoyed and act like I'm stupid for not doing what you said."
"I don't do that," I insist.
"You do." She reaches across the table and puts her hand on mine. "I know you're just trying to help, but it doesn't help to have you lecture me on what I'm doing wrong."
"I don't lecture you." I pull my hand back from hers and pick up my water, taking a drink.
"Nate, please don't be mad. I'm just trying to be honest."
"Great," I say, rolling my eyes. "More honesty. Just like last night. What are you going to tell me next? That I'm too tall? You don't like my clothes? I talk too much?" I fold my arms over my chest. "Go ahead. Put it all out there."
"Okay, you're being an ass again," she says, glaring at me.
"I'm just letting you be honest. You seem to be on a roll so you might as well keep going."
She sighs, shaking her head. "Just forget it."
"No. I want to hear it. What else do I do that bothers you?"
"Nate, just stop. I don't want to fight."
The waiter comes over and drops off our food. "Need anything else?"
"No, we're good," I tell him.
He walks off and I grab the syrup before Riley can get it. I'm mad at her. Again. I know I shouldn't be, but I am, and I think it's more about last night than about her telling me I lecture her, although that, too, makes me mad. I'm trying to help her. I'm not lecturing her.
"What happened to you, Nate?" Riley asks as she spreads butter on her French toast.
"What do you mean?" I set the syrup down a little too hard and she looks up, our eyes meeting. She can see my anger. I'm trying to hide it, but I can't.
Why am I being this way? I'm never been like this with her. Last night changed things between us, but we can't go on this way. I want us to go back to how we used to be.
But it might be too late for that.
Chapter Twelve
Riley
This isn't the Nate I know. Angry. Moody. Snapping at me. This is a side of Nate I've never seen.
Last night changed things between us and I don't know how to get us back to normal. I'm not even sure it's possible now that I know how Nate feels about me. We'll continue being friends, but he'll still see me as more than that. As the girl he wants to date but can't.
Even before he told me how he felt, I knew something was off with him. I noticed it as soon as he got back from college. He was looking at me differently, holding my hand more, and if I even glanced at another guy, he seemed annoyed. It didn't make sense then, but it does now.
Nate always said our friendship would never change, but part of me knew it would. It started to last summer when he kept telling me to take online classes. He wants me to get more education so I can get a better job. But I don't want to take classes, and as my friend, he should support me in that, not judge me. Same goes for this situation with my mom. Instead of just letting me talk about it, he tells me what to do. The Nate I knew a few years ago would never do that. He'd just listen and give me a hug.
"Riley," Nate says, getting my attention. "Are you going to explain what you meant or keep giving me the silent treatment?"
"I'm not giving you the silent treatment," I say, shoving a forkful of French toast in my mouth. I love Linny's French toast but can't even enjoy it with all the tension between us.
"You're not saying anything."
"Because I don't want to fight."
"We're not fighting. We're having a discussion."
"Then I'd rather not discuss anything right now."
"Riley, c'mon. Just finish what you were saying. You asked what happened to me, right?"
"Just forget it." I drizzle more syrup over my toast.
Nate takes the syrup from me and sets it down. "What happened to me is I fell in love. And when you're in love, you want to do everything you can to make that person happy. That's all I was doing, Riley. When I was giving you advice about your mom? I thought I was helping you. Making things better. I wasn't trying to lecture you."
I just nod and continue eating.
"Riley, talk to me. I'm sorry I got angry just now. I guess I'm still upset about last night."
My eyes lift to his. "Then talk to me when you're done being upset."
"It's more the hurt than the anger making me act this way. It may be a while before that goes away."
"Then either stop talking to me until it does or stop taking it out on me."
He sighs. "You're right."
"Meaning what?"
"Maybe we need some time apart until I can stop acting this way."
"How much time do you need?"
"I don't know. Maybe a few days? The problem is, it's hard for me to even imagine going a couple days without talking to you. I don't think I can do it." He sets his fork down. "How about this? We take tonight off. We don't go out. Don't talk. And then tomorrow we talk again, but if I'm being an ass, you call me on it so I know I'm doing it."
I half-smile. "Like an ass alert?"
"Exactly. You can even call it that."
I reach my hand across the table. "Deal."
He shakes my hand and we finish our breakfast, the conversation turning to movies we want to see.
Maybe we'll be able to make this work. For a moment I thought our friendship would end right here at the table, but we always work things out. There's no reason this time should be any different.
When we get to the pool, I'm feeling much better about the Nate situation. I'm even smiling as I go in the locker room to change.
"What's with the smile?" Giada asks when she sees me walking in.
"Nate and I aren't fighting anymore."
"You guys talked?" She shuts her locker and walks over to mine.
"Yeah." I open my locker and shove my backpack in it. "He took me to breakfast this morning and apologized for how he acted last night."
"So everything's good? You're back to being friends?"
"I wouldn't say we're back to normal, but we're getting there."
"See? It's like I told you, he just needed some time." She pulls her hair up in a ponytail and secures it with a band.
"Hey, um, don't tell anyone about this. I don't think Nate wants people knowing."
"That he's in love with you?"
"Shhh." I look around the empty locker room. "Someone might hear."
"I'm pretty sure everyone already knows."
I shut my locker door and turn
to her. "How would they know?"
"By the way he's always looking at you. He even got in trouble for it."
"He did? When?"
"A couple times last week. TJ said if he catches him again, he'll get written up, which could lead to suspension."
"Nate never told me that." I open my locker and grab my swimsuit. "So there's another reason he's mad at me. I got him in trouble at work."
"You just said you guys aren't fighting anymore."
"We're not, but I can tell he's still upset with me for not reacting the way he wanted."
"It's not your fault he's in love with you. And who cares if he's upset? He'll get over it. Just like he'll get over you dating Brad. Guys can be so stupid sometimes. They let their—"
"Wait. What did you just say?"
"I said guys let their pride get in the way, which makes them do stupid things."
"No. Before that. Something about Brad."
"Oh. I was saying that Nate will have to get over you dating Brad."
"I'm not dating Brad. YOU are." I nervously laugh, not wanting her—or anyone else—to know how much I like Brad. Or that I kissed him! "You were just out with Brad last night."
She rolls her eyes. "Believe me, that wasn't a date. It's not like it was horrible. We got along okay. There just wasn't any romance between us."
"Maybe you guys could try again."
"No. Last night was it. Besides, he already has someone."
"He doesn't have a girlfriend. I told you that last night."
"I didn't say she was his girlfriend." She smiles. "Not yet."
"Who are you talking about?"
"You." Giada laughs. "Why are you acting like you don't know this?"
"Brad and I are just friends."
"Who want to be more, or at least Brad does. He's totally into you. When we were out last night, all he did was talk about you."
"He only talked about me because I'm the only person he knows here. Well, and Nate."
"And everyone here at the pool. He could've talked about any of us, or his family, his friends back home. But instead he talked about you. Guys don't do that unless they're really into you."
"What did he say about me?"
"I don't remember. Honestly, my mind was starting to wander during part of it." She pauses. "I know this sounds crazy, but as Brad was going on and on about you last night, I started thinking about Johnny."
"Pool Johnny?"
"Yeah." She smiles. "I know he's a little strange, but he's also kind of hot. Actually, he's really hot and his abs are amazing." Her eyes dart to mine. "What do you think? Should I go out with him?"
"I think you could do better."
"True. Bad idea. Good thing I got a second opinion." She checks her phone. "I should get out there."
"Hey, um." I look around to make sure we're alone. "Don't tell anyone what you said about Brad, okay?"
"Why are you being so secretive? Everyone already knows he likes you."
"How would they know?"
"The CPR thing?" she says, like it's obvious.
"That was just a demonstration."
"Uh, no. He kissed you. Everyone saw it."
"It wasn't a kiss. It was—" I decide not to bother trying to deny it. "Okay, it was a kiss, but an innocent one, and I didn't think anyone noticed."
"We ALL noticed. Everyone was talking about it later."
"Then why didn't Nate say anything to me?"
"I think he was the only one who didn't know it was a kiss. He was probably so convinced you loved him back that he didn't even consider there was anything going on between you and Brad. But now that Nate knows you only see him as a friend, he'll notice this stuff. So if you want to hide it from him, you'll have to be more careful."
"I'm not dating Brad," I insist. "We're just friends. Who kissed. But that's over now."
"You like him though, right? Like in a boyfriend way?"
"Maybe, but nothing can happen. Nate would kill me and Brad."
"Nate can't tell you who you can go out with."
"No, but it'll hurt him to see me with someone else. And if that someone was Brad, it'd be even worse."
"Okay, but if you ask me, I'd say do what makes you happy, not what makes Nate happy." She walks off. "See you out there!"
When I get to the pool, Nate is already in his chair. Johnny is standing just below him, talking to Nate while stretching his neck side to side. I've never really looked that closely at Johnny, but seeing him now, in just his swim trunks, Giada's right. He does have a good body and amazing abs. But his body still can't compare to the guy walking toward me. Tall and broad with muscles everywhere you look. It's the body of a man. An athlete. He looks more like a football player than a swimmer, and yet when I've seen him swim, he glides through the water, fast and smooth.
"Hey," he says with that smile that makes my stomach flutter. "How's it going?"
"Good."
He has his shirt off, which makes talking to him extremely difficult. Turning thoughts into words is nearly impossible when staring at a guy this hot. Add in images of us kissing, remembering what it felt like, and it's a wonder I'm even able to talk at all.
"I heard you and Nate made up," Brad says.
"Yeah. He came over this morning. We went to breakfast and he gave me a ride here."
"So everything's back to normal?"
"I wouldn't say that, but at least we're back to speaking."
"I'm sure everything will be fine in a day or two. He just needs some time to get his head on straight."
"Yeah, we decided to take tonight off from each other. No calls. No texts. No going out."
He nods. "That's probably a good idea."
I stare at him, into his deep brown eyes, unable to look away. I don't know what it is about Brad, but I keep feeling this need to be around him. He's so easy to talk to, and he's a great listener. I never feel like he's judging me the way I sometimes feel with Nate.
"Riley, you still there?" Brad says, waving his hand in front of me.
"Sorry. I'm just tired." I glance back at Nate, who's still talking to Johnny. I chew on my lip, trying to figure out if I should do this. Would Nate be mad if I did? But he said I could be friends with him. "So what are you doing tonight?" I ask Brad.
His brows rise. "Nothing. Why?"
"Do you want to do something? Go to a movie or maybe go to dinner?"
A whistle blows and TJ yells, "Everyone in their places! Hurry up!"
Stupid TJ, interrupting us at the very moment my heart's going a million beats per minute awaiting Brad's answer.
"What do you think?" I ask. "Dinner? Movie?"
Brad slowly smiles. "Yeah. That'd be great."
I see the look he's giving me and quickly say, "It's not a date. I just meant as friends, you know, like we've been doing before. We just won't have Nate with us tonight."
He's still smiling. "Not a date. Got it." He hooks his thumb to the side. "I need to get to my chair. Talk later?"
"Yeah. Bye."
Giada comes up behind me. "So?" she whispers. "What happened?"
"We're going to see a movie later," I whisper as we hurry to our spots.
"He asked you out?"
"No. I asked him, but it's not a date."
"Then what is it?"
"Just two friends going out." I stop at my chair. "Giada, we can't talk about this here. I don't want Nate finding out."
"You're not going to tell him?" she asks, sounding surprised.
She's right. Why wouldn't I tell him? If tonight is just two friends hanging out, why wouldn't I tell Nate?
"Girls, get in your chairs!" TJ yells. "We can't open until everyone's in place!"
Giada scurries off while I climb up in my chair. I look over and catch Nate's eye. He smiles and gives me a wave. I do the same, then look forward and see Brad right across from me.
He gives me a smile, but for some reason it's so much sexier than Nate's. It's causing that fluttery stomach thing again. Why does Br
ad stir up all these feelings in me? Is it because I know he's off limits? I need to find a way to make it stop.
People start arriving and the pool quickly fills up. We're so busy I don't have time to do anything more than glance at Brad, but the few times I do, I catch his eye and he gives me that smile. And every damn time, it causes a reaction in me. A flutter. A rush of heat. A tingle of pleasure. Damn him and that smile!
When the pool closes, I'm heading to the locker room when Nate stops me. "Long day, huh?"
"Yeah. I don't think I've ever seen it that busy."
"It's because of that online special they're doing."
"What online special?"
"The one TJ keeps talking about in our staff meetings. Weren't you listening?"
I wasn't. My mind always wanders during those meetings, especially when Brad's sitting next to me and my thoughts go to us doing things we shouldn't.
"It's two for one admission," Nate says. "They have to go online and print out the coupon in the ad, but it's only good on certain days. Today was the first one."
"Oh. I guess I forgot about that."
"He just reminded us about it this morning," he says in that judgmental tone I find so irritating. "How could you forget already?"
"Nate, I need to go," I say, walking past him.
"I'll go change and wait by the car."
That's right. He's my ride home. I forgot I didn't drive.
"I could take her." Brad appears next to me. "I'm going that way anyway."
Nate looks at me. "Does that work? If not, I don't mind driving you home."
"Don't worry about it. I'll just go with Brad." I glance at him. "Did he tell you we're going to the movies tonight?"
"No," Nate says, not seeming at all jealous or upset by the news. "What are you going to see?"
"We haven't decided yet," Brad says, giving me a look like he's surprised I brought it up. Why would he be surprised? Did he think I'd try to hide it from Nate?
"Don't go to one I want to see," Nate says to me. "Our agreement still stands."
"What agreement?" Brad asks.
I answer. "If there's a movie we're really excited about, Nate and I agreed we'd go together. It's something we've been doing for years."
"It started after Riley went to see a movie without me that I'd been dying to see. She was telling me about it and let the ending slip."
Better If He Goes (Always You Book 1) Page 12