Host

by H. J. Lawson

  I look down toward the area where the party was last night, and it’s littered with empty cups and leftover food. It looks like an explosion of garbage. In Cueva, we never party like this. Under other circumstances I would have felt a bit of joy from the experience, instead of the guilt that weighs me down.

  Now it’s time to squash this guilt and do something about it.

  Great. The only person up is Gerel. Much to the disappointment of us both, I head toward her. She looks as if she’s ready to throw one of her favorite knives at me.

  “What are you doing wandering around?” Gerel asks. I was just thinking the same about her.

  “I thought you were on lookout?” I reply.

  “What, you think you can ask me what I’m doing? Go to bed,” she says, walking away from me.

  “Where’s Abaven?”

  “Why?” she replies.

  “Can’t you just answer the frigging question, instead of coming back with another one?” I snip, not in the mood for her nighttime mood. My frigging head has started to throb.

  “Think you’re brave, don’t you? You think you’re better than us. You’re no better than us.”

  “Look, Gerel, I don’t get why you dislike me, and I don’t care,” I say, walking away from her.

  A gust of wind sweeps past my hair, making the fire-red ends of my hair dance. I see a glimmer of light reflect from the flying object. She threw her knife at me! “You threw your knife at me?” I yell. “You’re crazy!” I add.

  The fire in me drives me toward her. It’s time to wipe the smug grin off her face.

  “Come on, little girl, show me what makes you so special,” Gerel mocks as I run toward her, growling with rage. I can’t take this anymore.

  Gerel’s hands fly up, both with blades in them. My arms reach out for her neck. Gerel pushes my hand, knocking me sideways onto the ground. “You dumb kid, next time I will make you the target and not the wall,” she laughs, walking away and disappearing into one of the rooms, dropping the sheet door behind her.

  I lie for a moment on the cool floor. What am I doing? She’s right, I am just a dumb kid. How am I going to be able to help rescue Madison and my family if I can’t even fight off one crazy knife girl?

  You’re weak like Dax. Xander’s words haunt me as if he is in my mind again.

  “What are you doing on the floor?” Abaven asks, looking down at me, his voice full of concern.

  I want to tell him what Gerel did and said, but then Gerel and Xander would be right.

  “Nothing, I was looking for you,” I say, getting to my feet.

  “You won’t find me down there. Come on up. I will have a word with her,” he says.

  “Please don’t,” I say, shaking my head. “It was nothing.” I am standing firm; I can’t let him think I’m weak, even if I feel it.

  “Why were you looking for me at this hour?” Abaven asks as I approach him. “You don’t need to answer that. Come on, I will show you Madison is okay.” We walk to the room full of monitors.

  Madison and the other girls are huddled together by the Sanction wall, trying to protect themselves from the harsh elements of the wasteland. I rub my hand over my barcode, the element that separates all of us. “Abaven.”

  “What?” Abaven mutters. Damn, I hadn’t realized he had fallen asleep. He had slumped into one of the seats when we got into the monitor room, and my eyes had been locked on the screens for a while.

  “Sorry, I didn’t realize you were sleeping.”

  “Just resting my eyes. What is it?”

  “If you can make me a temporary barcode and upgrade the others permanently, why can’t you do it for everyone? Then there would be no Hosts to rescue.”

  Abaven smiles.

  “Wait, that’s your plan?”

  “One day.”

  “What are you waiting for?”

  “It’s one thing giving a few people the upgrade, but all of Cueva? That’s a whole different level. But I’m very close to working it all out.” He nods as if promising himself.

  “Oh,” I say, slumping down into my chair. The leather hugs my legs comfortably. I can see how Abaven fell asleep in here. The chair is too comfortable to stay awake, unless you have something worth staying awake for. I drop my legs down and sit up straight. It’s going to be a long night.

  “Do you have any coffee?” I ask.

  Abaven smiles. “That sounds like a good idea.”

  My body feels weak from sitting all day staring at the monitors, waiting for the clock to count down to now.

  “Not a chance! There is no way she’s coming with us,” Gerel snaps as we stand at the back of the cave, waiting for Enoch to join our little rescue group.

  “I’m coming as well,” Rian chirps, interrupting the argument between Abaven and Gerel. They have been at one another’s throat for the last twenty minutes. Well, Gerel has been doing most of the arguing. Abaven has just said a few words like last night, like he did with me when I argued with him that I would be going tonight no matter what he said.

  I tried to talk Rian out of coming, but he ended up using the same string of arguments I used, so the argument was over nearly as quickly as it began.

  “You want me to bring the goofy kid as well?” Gerel says, looking at Rian.

  “Goofy? You must mean someone else,” he says, looking over his shoulder as if to find someone else she’s talking about.

  “Did I miss anything?” Enoch asks as he comes to a halt after running toward us. His face is free of the white makeup, revealing his natural, tanned skin and warm brown eyes. Now he looks like the kid I remember from Cueva.

  “Just them having a go at one another,” Rian says as Gerel scowls in response.

  She’s a ray of sunshine, my mind laughs.

  My frigging head is still killing me from the toxic stuff last night, as if the party is still going on and the drum is pounding in my head, Rian’s mind complains.

  You can go back to bed if you like. Us girls can handle this, my mind tells him.

  Ha, very funny, but you’re not leaving me out of this, his mind tells me.

  Are these two going to be done anytime soon? They are bringing my headache back as well.

  “Whatever,” Gerel spits, as if she was also reading my mind, “but don’t complain to me if these two end up getting killed!

  “Come on,” she snaps as she heads down one of the caves.

  “Aren’t you coming?” I ask Abaven.

  “No, I have to be at control, reprogramming the motions that show up in the capital. You really don’t have to go. We have other people, good people who will be able to go on the rescue mission,” Abaven says.

  “I have to help Madison,” I say firmly.

  “I’d tell you the same, Rian, but I know it’s pointless. Just obey Gerel,” he says.

  “Will do,” Rian and I add in unison as we run off, following Gerel.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  “You need to turn the handle like this.” Enoch squeezes the bike handle, and the bike lets out a roar that bounces off the cave walls, making it sound like there is a whole group of bikes in the tiny tunnel. “The bike has a real kick on it, so don’t turn it too much. Don’t want you falling off before we get you there.” Enoch smiles.

  “I got this,” I say proudly.

  “Yeah, Enoch, let’s see if she’s got it when she falls off,” Gerel says.

  “I’ve ridden one before, okay? And that time I had been shot, so yeah, I’ve got this,” I say, pushing the bike forward through the cave tunnel with my head lowered so as not to bang it like Rian kept doing. Now he’s doubled over like an old man.

  “Why haven’t you left Purenet if you have these bikes?” I ask Enoch.

  “They don’t have enough power to get us to Cueva, and there is no way we are going to the Grounders’ commute. Living here is way better than that, and well, you get used to the Cavern after a bit. It’s like Cueva, with more freedom,” Enoch explains.

  These bik
es are different from Dax’s sweet black bike. As the light from the tunnel catches on one, it looks like a rusty old bike held together with a prayer. I’m scared that mine may not hold my weight and will break down before we even leave the tunnels. No wonder no one has tried to escape on it. Then again, they don’t seem to think they need to escape.

  “Freedom?” I snort.

  “Well, like last night, no elders telling us not to have fun,” Enoch smiles, adding, “it was fun until Abaven came along.”

  “He wouldn’t have had to if you had done what you were supposed to do,” Gerel says with a tut.

  “We can’t all be good little soldiers like you,” Enoch whispers as Rian and I snigger.

  “What?” Gerel says, stopping and looking at us. She’s doesn’t have the Cueva hearing; if she had, she would have heard what he said.

  “Nothing,” we say in unison.

  “Whatever,” says Gerel.

  The tunnel around us comes to an end, revealing a swirling whirlwind of the wasteland sand flying through the air.

  “Abaven, how bad is it?” Gerel says into her watch. We all fall silent, waiting for a response. Gerel and Enoch nod. Enoch points to his ear and looks at Rian and me, indicating that there is a bud inside it giving him information, I guess from Abaven.

  “Okay, got that,” Gerel says to her wristwatch. “Abaven says a storm is making visibility impossible,” Gerel tells us.

  “Are we still going outside?” Rian asks.

  “Of course,” Gerel says flatly as she mounts her bike.

  “Stay close to me. When we get out there, Abaven and Gerel will guide us,” Enoch says, tapping his watch.

  I take my jacket off and wrap it around my face, covering my mouth and nose. I just hope it stops the sand from getting in. Rian and Enoch do the same. “Good thinking, Skylier,” Rian smiles.

  Gerel’s engine roars as she revs it. One of her hands forms a tight fist in the air.

  I jump on my bike and rev the engine. It lets out a few loud pops. This isn’t going to be a smooth ride.

  Gerel lowers her fist and speeds forward into the wasteland, and is instantly eaten up by it.

  “Rian, go,” my voice and my mind say at once as I fly forward, trying to find Gerel. Well, not her, but she will lead me to Madison.

  Right by you, Rian’s voice echoes in my mind. I can hear the roar of his bike approaching me through the whistling of the wind that batters against my naked arms. The storm stops for a second, allowing me to see the back of Gerel’s bike.

  We follow for what feels like too long. How could they have made it this far in just one day?

  “Skylier, stop.” Enoch’s voice carries to me in the wind. I release the throttle and slow down as Enoch and Rian come alongside me.

  “She’s going the wrong way,” Enoch says as he pulls down his mouth cover.

  “Abaven is screaming at her, but she won't stop. The Hosts are this way,” Enoch says.

  Gerel can’t be trying to escape on one of these bikes.

  Enoch holds his hand to his ear as he tries to listen. “I can’t make out what she’s saying,” Enoch says.

  “Can I try?” I ask.

  “Sure.” Enoch passes me the earpiece and the watch, which I place on.

  Gerel’s words are rambling together. “I can make out the word ‘ukht,’ what’s ‘ukht’?” I say.

  “Gerel, what are you saying?” Abaven asks.

  Gerel just keeps repeating ‘ukht,’ then adds, “You left my ukht…”

  “What are they saying?” Enoch asks.

  “I can’t work it out. Let’s get the Hosts out of there,” I say, wrapping my jacket over my face.

  Through the breaks in the sand storm, I can see a group of people huddling together on the ground. “Over there,” I yell, the words muffled in the wind and from the cover of my jacket.

  Over there, my mind tells Rian.

  I see them, his mind responds as clearly as if he’s standing beside me on a sunny day. Which it would have been if not for these frigging sand storms, which can last for days. It’s a way for the earth to remind us that it’s in control.

  “You chose the Hosts over the Bazis. My ukht is a Bazi,” Gerel says through the earpiece.

  “What’s an ukht?” Abaven asks.

  “My sister,” Gerel replies.

  Gerel’s sister is out there? I slow my bike down, worried I will mistake a sand pile for a person.

  “Madison, Madison,” I yell.

  “My little sister,” Gerel’s voice whispers.

  “S-Skylier?” Madison stutters.

  Fear drains from my body. She’s here, she’s alive, and her arms fling around my body before I can reach her.

  “You left my sister, Beba. You left her to die…” Gerel says through the earpiece.

  “You came for me, you came for me…” Madison repeatedly mumbles between sobs.

  “Come on, we are going to get you out of here. Hold hands and follow the bikes,” Enoch tells the group of Hosts.

  “Madison, get on the back of Rian’s bike,” I tell her. She does as instructed.

  Rian stares at me. Skylier, where are you going? his mind asks.

  Block.

  “Skylier, don’t block me, where are you going?” Rian says, frustrated.

  “Enoch, take Rian and the others back. I’m going after Gerel,” I say.

  “No, Skylier, don’t go after her. She left us,” Rian says.

  “She left us because her sister is out on the wasteland. She was left to die.” I turn the bike in the direction I last saw Gerel. “Imagine if that were Callie. We couldn’t leave her. I have the watch and earpiece. Abaven will guide me. Please get Madison back to the Cavern safely.

  “Enoch, look after them,” I say as I ride off into the dust clouds.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  I’ll take them back, then come back for you, Rian’s mind says.

  Rian, I will call you if I need you. I will keep my block down.

  But if you go too far… I won’t be able to hear you.

  They can’t have covered too much ground in two days. Go now.

  Okay, Rian’s mind says as it drifts off to get the Hosts to safety.

  I tap the watch and say into it, “Abaven, it’s Skylier. I’m going after Gerel. Lead me to her.”

  “Skylier, come back. The guards at Purenet will see you,” he replies.

  “I’m not leaving her. Make them not see me, and guide me to the Bazis now!” I bark.

  Abaven pauses. “Keep going straight until I tell you,” he says.

  I squeeze the handle. The bike surges forward, creating a thick cloud of sandy dust around me. Everything becomes a blur. Even the sound is blurred. My lungs feel heavy as the dust around me creeps into them, making them heavy and my chest tight.

  “Turn right, Gerel’s bike is there. I can’t see her,” Abaven tells me.

  I swiftly turn the bike handlebars, leaning with my body into the turn, and I fly forward in that direction.

  The bike’s light beams out in front of me, lighting up mesmerizing whorls of sand. My heart stops beating. Gerel is on the ground, cradling her sister’s lifeless body in her lap

  I bring the bike to a halt. “Gerel?” I say as I approach her.

  She doesn’t move.

  “Gerel,” I say again as I drop down beside her.

  “I can’t bring her back,” Gerel mutters. “He chose your friend over my sister. He left her to die,” Gerel says, sobbing over her sister, Beba, whose lifeless body is covered in sand.

  “Did Abaven know she was out there?” I ask.

  Gerel shakes her head. “If he had, he wouldn’t have let me leave on this mission.”

  “Gerel, Skylier, you need to leave. I can’t control the guards’ feed for much longer,” Abaven says through the earpiece.

  “Gerel, we have to go,” I say, placing my hand on her shoulder.

  “Don’t touch me, I’m not going anywhere.” She pushes my hand off
her just as a gust of wind forces me onto Beba. I reach forward to stop my whole body from landing on Beba. My hand slams down on top of Gerel’s hand, which is placed over Beba’s heart.

  The whistling wind stops. Everything stops.

  Heat flows from Gerel’s hand into mine, making it feel as if it’s fused together with Gerel’s. I try to move my hand away, but before I can, Gerel’s other hand is on top of mine.

  “You… you have the gift of healing,” Gerel says.

  The blood inside the veins in my hands feels like it is boiling, bubbling up. But it doesn’t hurt. It feels right. I place my other hand on top of Gerel’s, stacking our hands over Beba’s heart.

  I close my eyes and clear my mind, letting only the word “live” run through it.

  The heat between our hands gets hotter. Abaven screams orders in my ear, but all I can hear is the single word, “live.”

  My hand moves upwards just a fraction, enough to break my focus. I peel open my eyes. The sand storm is swirling around us, not touching us, like we are in the eye of a hurricane.

  Beba’s chest rises. “Live… live…” Gerel chants. I do too, and we chant in unison. “Live… live,” our voices get louder, more urgent.

  Beba bolts up into a sitting position; the force knocks me and Gerel to the ground, stealing the life and energy from me.

  I watch Beba with my heavy eyes. I struggle to remain awake. Beba’s mouth opens, inhumanly wide. Heavy black fog gushes from her mouth, pouring out like an upside down waterfall and seeping into the clouds above.

  The black fog stops pouring from her mouth.

  The sand storm dies in the same instant. The tiny sand particles are captured in the air, suspended in time, then fall to the ground as if the new night brought a new day, taking the old with it.

  My mind goes dark like the sky, and I hear Beba gasp for a breath… She’s alive… am I?

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  “Skylier, wake up. It’s time,” Abaven says, dragging me from the calm darkness.

  “Abaven, she can’t go now, not after that. I will go,” Rian says.