Battles Lost and Won

by Beryl Matthews

‘Dear Lord, you have changed. I’ve never known you to be spiteful before. Haven’t you seen the difference in your dad already? He’s laughed for the first time since the accident. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? How can you be so ungrateful?’ Tears were streaming down Daisy’s face. ‘Get out of my sight!’

  Bob stepped forward to comfort the distraught woman. ‘Please don’t upset yourself. I don’t care what your daughter thinks of me. I didn’t expect everyone to be pleased to see me after the way I left.’

  ‘But you still came.’ She wiped her eyes and glared at Ruth, who hadn’t moved. ‘You wanted to see your dad, so why are you still here?’

  Ruth fled.

  ‘Since that business with the brooch she’s become bitter. And I think in some silly way she blames you. In her mind it wouldn’t have happened if you had been there to stand up for her.’

  ‘I understand, but you mustn’t let it upset you,’ he said gently. ‘The kids have had their five minutes, so you go and chase them out, and then sit with Steve for a little while. Then I want you to go to bed and rest because I’ll be with him all night.’

  ‘I’ll do that.’

  Bob went through to the front room. Ruth was sitting on the floor surrounded by pieces of material, but she was just staring at them, making no attempt to do anything.

  He sat beside her. ‘We’ve got to declare a truce. You can hate me all you want, but don’t let it show. Your mother is at the end of her strength, so watch your tongue. I have been working with injured men ever since I left the captain’s estate, and have received good training. Steve needs the kind of skills I now have. That’s why I came. I’m sorry if you believe I’ve let you down, but we used to be friends, Ruth, and I hope we can be again. If you love your family then you’ll keep your nasty remarks to yourself.’

  Uncurling himself he stood up, looking down at the forlorn figure. It hurt him to be unkind to her, but it had to be done. If he had read the signs right then Daisy was about to break. When she said nothing he turned and walked out of the room, out of the house, and jumped over the fence. His dad was clearly pleased to see him, and they had worked well together, but he still owed him an apology.

  ‘How did it go?’ Alf asked his son as he walked in.

  ‘I told Ruth to keep her hostility out of the way when she’s with her family because her mum can’t take much more. I think she’ll be careful now. Being accused of stealing has really disturbed her, hasn’t it?’

  ‘I’m afraid so, but she’s a good girl and will come to her senses eventually.’

  ‘I hope so.’ Bob sighed. ‘We have been friends for a long time, and it’s hard to know she dislikes me now. If I could change some of the things I’ve done in the past I would.’

  Alf nodded. ‘We haven’t had a chance to talk, Bob, but thanks for coming. When I asked the captain to find you I never thought he would. He said you had made a good life for yourself and you left it all to come and help Steve.’

  ‘I’ve also come back to say how sorry I am for leaving you. I didn’t understand, but I shouldn’t have walked out.’

  ‘Yes, you should.’ Alf smiled at his son, so grown-up now. ‘The shock of losing you made me fight to pull my life together, and if you hadn’t ended up in Surrey, you wouldn’t have the experience to help Steve. No apologies are needed. What you did has been for the good of us all.’

  Bob was stunned by such a gracious reception after what he had done. ‘It’s good of you to say that, and I can tell you that it’s a great relief to know you feel like that. I didn’t like being so hard on Ruth, but if Steve is going to make any progress, he mustn’t worry about anything.’

  ‘That’s a tall order. Steve’s used to providing for his family, and he can’t do that now.’

  ‘I know, and that’s why we have to put a cheerful face on things. Now, what’s all this talk about houses?’

  Alf told him about the Imperial War Museum, avoiding all mention of the book, and saying only that he had been able to help them and they’d paid him some money.

  They talked for nearly an hour, and then Bob stood up. ‘It’s good to see you, Dad, and I’d like to talk again soon, but I must get back to Steve now.’

  ‘Of course. Goodnight, son.’

  Twenty-Eight

  It was getting late and Ruth was still in the front room, her emotions in turmoil. This man who had walked in and taken charge was a stranger to her. He wasn’t the boy she had grown up with, and he had changed almost beyond recognition. Not his physical appearance, although he was slightly taller, but there was something very different about the way he acted. There was an air of confidence about him, a quiet self-assurance that frankly frightened her. She had lashed out at him, not understanding why.

  The scullery door opened and she listened to the stairs creaking as Bob made his way up to her dad’s room. Mum had gone to bed some time ago, exhausted, and still upset. She swiped away tears of remorse and shame for the way she had acted. Bob was right; she should have been more careful. They had enough to cope with without her acting like a stupid child.

  Scrambling to her feet she straightened up, and then crept up the stairs to the room she now shared with Sally and her mother. ‘Are you awake, Mum?’ she whispered.

  The woman in the bed moved her head.

  ‘I’m so sorry I upset you. I didn’t mean to. I don’t know what came over me.’

  ‘You had no right to be rude, Ruthie. Bob didn’t have to come, but by God we need him. I couldn’t have carried on like this for much longer, and neither could you. Have you apologized to him?’

  She shook her head.

  ‘Then you make sure you do. Now get some sleep.’

  Sleep was illusive as Alf gazed up at the ceiling with eyes wide open. He was so happy to see and talk to his son. He didn’t know why he hadn’t said anything about the book, but somehow it hadn’t seemed to be the right time. Steve was all that mattered at the moment.

  He turned over and closed his eyes, bringing his thoughts back to their situation. While Steve healed they had to survive. There were a lot of people to feed and the two youngest kids must not go without. All the money he had saved towards buying another house had gone on doctors and medicines, and he didn’t begrudge a penny of it. He still had the one house, of course, but if he sold that then he would have to turn the Selbys out, and that wouldn’t be right. They were so happy and grateful to be there. He couldn’t do that, and he was absolutely certain that Daisy wouldn’t want him to either, no matter how desperate the need. There had to be another way . . .

  He finally drifted off to sleep, the problem still unresolved.

  The next evening, when Daisy was upstairs with Steve, Alf gathered Ruth and Eddie around the scullery table and tried to work out how they were going to get through the next couple of weeks.

  ‘The traders at the market are giving me some vegetables and a little fruit at the end of the day, and Mrs Law gave me the sausages we had last night. I don’t like taking from them, but they understand the difficulty we are in and want to help. Everyone is being so kind.’

  ‘I’m earning enough to pay the rent,’ Eddie said, looking at Alf. ‘And you are buying us groceries each week. Now we don’t need to pay for the doctor or medicines we are managing – just.’

  ‘But now you have me to feed as well.’ Bob strode into the scullery and put some coins on the table. ‘I’ll contribute each week for as long as I can.’

  ‘You can’t do that!’ Eddie protested. ‘You are looking after Dad, and it’s only right we should feed you.’

  ‘Eddie, there’s a long struggle in front of us, with no guarantees that Steve is going to make a complete recovery, so we’ve all got to help out.’

  ‘You’re right, of course.’ Eddie pushed the coins towards his sister. ‘Buy what we need at the market tomorrow, Ruthie.’

  When Ruth put the money in her purse, Bob was satisfied.

  ‘How’s Dad today?’ she asked.

  ‘Resting peac
efully. But I’m about to disturb him. Help me get the bath ready, Dad, and when he’s warm and relaxed I’ll have another go at his back.’

  Ruth touched Bob’s arm and whispered, ‘I’m sorry.’

  He bent and kissed the top of her head to show his acceptance of her apology. ‘Thanks, Ruthie.’

  The two youngsters were in the front room stuffing toys for the stall, but everyone else pitched in to help get the bath ready. Daisy wandered into the bedroom and Bob was pleased to see her looking calmer, and hoped she would continue to improve. They would really be in trouble if she collapsed, and he made sure he was always cheerful and confident when she was around.

  The bath was filled and Bob ushered everyone out of the room, except Alf, who watched intently the way his son handled Steve, and was fascinated to see the long-fingered hands moving over his back and legs. The boy was good, and he sent a prayer of hope that his friend could be helped.

  By the time Steve was back in bed and resting again, they began the trek up and down the stairs to empty the bath and put it away again in the outhouse.

  Bob sniffed the air and smiled. ‘Smells like something’s cooking, and I’m starving.’

  ‘You haven’t changed then – you always were!’ Alf laughed.

  The next morning Bob found himself alone with Daisy. Alf had gone to work, so had Eddie and Ruth, and the kids were at school. She was looking more rested, but tension still radiated from her, and he didn’t like the withdrawn look in her eyes. That worried him because it hadn’t been there yesterday.

  ‘Steve’s looking better,’ she said, trying to smile, but her bottom lip trembled.

  ‘He’s more comfortable.’

  ‘I wanted to get the help and medicines he needed,’ she blurted out, ‘but he wouldn’t let me. He said if I brought anyone in he would refuse to let them touch him, and he didn’t need the pills any more. But I know he does . . .’

  Making her sit down, he stooped in front of her and gripped her hands. ‘He knew you couldn’t afford it. He was thinking of you and the kids.’

  ‘We’d have found the money somehow.’ She held tightly to Bob’s hands.

  ‘You don’t need to worry about the pills because I’ve bought those for him, and I’m going to help as much as I can. I know it’s hard, but I want you to stop fretting because it won’t do Steve any good to see you in such a state. Ruth, Eddie and Dad will see we don’t starve, and I’m asking you to trust me.’

  ‘I do . . .’

  ‘No you don’t. You look at me and see that kid who resented living the way we do, and who had big ideas about changing things.’

  She gazed at him with a stricken expression. ‘I’m trying, Bob, and I know they’re all saying you know what you’re doing, but how . . .? I don’t understand . . . I don’t know what to do. What’s going to happen to us?’

  Bob hauled her to her feet and wrapped his arms around her. This is just what he had feared would happen. ‘Shush, Daisy, take deep breaths – that’s the way. We are going to win this battle. A kind lady told me that nothing is impossible, and you must believe that. Don’t let hope die.’

  As he comforted and calmed her, an idea came to him. It might be the way to help her trust him with her darling husband, the man she had prayed for all through the war, only to have this happen to him when she had believed him to be safe.

  ‘What’s the matter?’ Ruth rushed in and tried to get her near hysterical mum away from Bob. ‘Is Dad all right?’

  ‘He’s fine.’ Bob spoke quietly, and allowed Daisy to go to her daughter for comfort. ‘She has finally broken down, Ruth. I’ll put the kettle on for a strong, sweet cup of tea.’

  It took nearly an hour, and several cups of strong tea before Daisy was coherent again. Bob urged Ruth out of the back door so they could talk in private. ‘Your mum doesn’t really trust me; though she’s grabbed at any chance to help Steve. She needs to be convinced that her husband is safe with me, and there’s only one way I can give her that assurance. Can you stay here for the rest of the day? I want to take her to where I worked.’

  ‘Can I come too?’ she pleaded. ‘Eddie’s got a half-day off and will be home soon. He’ll stay here, and Mrs Law is looking after the stall for me.’

  He thought for a moment, and then agreed. After all, Ruth had apologized to him, but he doubted that she trusted him either, and it might calm Daisy to have her daughter with her. ‘Get her ready and we’ll go as soon as Eddie gets here.’

  No sooner had he said Eddie’s name before he appeared round the side of the house. After explaining what had happened, he readily agreed to stay with Steve until they got back.

  ‘We’ll be as quick as we can,’ Bob told him. ‘I’ve given him a tough session today so he’ll probably sleep most of the time.’

  ‘That’s all right. I know how to look after him.’ He looked anxiously at his mum. ‘You go.’

  A train was just pulling into the station when they got there, and Bob was glad they didn’t have to wait. Daisy was quiet now, but her mental state was fragile, and he wasn’t sure he was doing the right thing. But something had to be done for her, and he couldn’t see any other way. If she could see that he could be trusted not to harm her husband then she might relax more.

  It was a pleasant day and Daisy seemed to enjoy the walk up the hill. Before going to the home, he took her to see the view of the river.

  ‘This is nice.’ Daisy spoke for the first time. ‘But what are we doing here? I should be with Steve.’

  ‘Eddie is looking after him.’ Bob turned her to face him. ‘I’m going to show you where I worked.’

  ‘Oh.’ She gazed around, distracted. ‘Mustn’t be long. Got to get back home.’

  ‘We’ll be quick, I promise.’ Placing a guiding arm around her shoulder they continued walking.

  As soon as they stepped inside the door someone shouted, ‘Bob, where the blazes do you think you’ve been? Roll up your sleeves, there’s work to be done!’

  He grinned at the man in the wheelchair. ‘Hello, Stan, missed me, have you?’

  ‘Now why would we do that, you great hulking brute?’ Stan propelled himself over, a broad smile on his face. ‘I see you’ve still got the pretty girls flocking around you.’

  ‘Of course. This is Mrs Cooper and her daughter, Ruth. Ladies, meet Stan.’

  ‘Nice to meet you.’ He turned his attention back to Bob. ‘How long you staying?’

  ‘This is just a quick visit.’

  ‘Ah, shame, but come and say hello to the men. They’ll be pleased to see you.’

  Bob promised and he went on his way giving them all a cheery wave. ‘Bye, ladies, and don’t believe a word he tells you.’

  ‘Bob, how lovely to see you. Will you introduce me to your friends?’

  ‘Hello, Sister.’ As he introduced Daisy and Ruth to Sister Headley, he could see she had already spotted what the trouble was with Daisy.

  ‘And you’ve come to have a look round, have you?’

  Ruth was clearly uncomfortable. ‘Bob thought it might help Mum.’

  ‘I’m sure it will. Both of you come with me while Bob goes to see everyone. We all miss him very much.’

  ‘He’s a good boy.’ Daisy was beginning to look a little more alert. ‘But I’m not sure he can look after my husband . . . It’s very worrying . . . you know?’

  ‘Indeed I do.’ Mary smiled gently at mother and daughter. ‘But you need have no concerns about Bob’s capabilities. Come, let us walk around and you will see that the men like, respect and trust Bob, as I do.’

  Mary turned and smiled at Bob as she led them away, then he hurried off to visit some of the men he had come to know so well while he had worked here.

  Twenty-Nine

  The journey home was quiet. Daisy was so worn out she was sleeping with her head on Bob’s shoulder, and Ruth didn’t know what to say. She was thoroughly ashamed of the way she had reacted to his return. She had acted like a silly child, and he must despise her now
. Walking around the house, seeing him joking with the men, showed her that he had left a job he loved to come and help them. And she was positive he wouldn’t have taken them there if her mum hadn’t broken down. The Sister had praised him and his skills, saying that they hoped to have him back with them one day so he could continue with his training as a physiotherapist. That place was special to him; she had seen it in his eyes, and also the flash of regret when they had left.

  They reached home and Daisy was put to bed at once, then Bob went straight up to Steve, relieving Eddie.

  ‘How’s Mum?’ he asked anxiously as soon as he saw his sister.

  ‘Calmer now, but we’ve got to see she has plenty of rest. That was frightening, Eddie. Mum’s always seemed so strong, but this is more than she can handle.’

  ‘We’ll take good care of her. Did the visit to the home help?’

  Ruth nodded, tears filling her eyes. ‘It helped both of us. It has been hard to imagine that Bob knew how to look after Dad, but he does, and after what we’ve seen and been told about him, we can be grateful he’s with us.’

  ‘Good.’ Eddie placed an arm around his sister. ‘One invalid in the house is enough, Ruthie, so you hold in there. We all need you to be strong.’

  ‘I know.’ She wiped the tears away.

  ‘Let’s hope Mum’ll be all right now. I thought she trusted Bob right from the start, but deep down she must have had doubts about him.’ He looked intently at Ruth. ‘Just like you did.’

  She nodded. ‘When he arrived back it was like looking at a stranger. But I don’t have any doubts about him now. I watched him dealing with Mum, and everyone we saw today spoke very highly of him.’

  ‘He’s always been like another brother to us, but he’s grown-up now. And don’t forget that we haven’t seen him for a long time, so of course he’s changed. I expect he thinks the same about us. But now you’ve told me all this I feel much more confident that everything is going to be all right. We mustn’t give up hope, Ruthie.’

  They stopped talking when they heard Bob coming down the stairs.