I graciously accept the beer and take a few sips to help the liquid move faster through my body. I’ve been all over the place since I met Bree. I promised myself I wouldn’t get involved with anyone. I don’t want to be that guy that can’t trust his girlfriend. But I worry that that’ll be me and that’s the last thing Bree wants. We would both probably end up getting hurt.
But I feel this pull to her and I can’t stop myself, just like I couldn’t stop myself from touching her when I dropped her off at the inn the other night. I can’t trust myself to be around her. She isn’t the kind of woman you can have just one time. She’s the kind that makes you want her more and more every time.
I don’t know what all she saw when she came in to pick Abbey up tonight, but I know she saw the confrontation with Lauren and Holt. I feel so guilty. I feel like I was caught in a lie when I saw her standing there. I just want a chance to explain everything and tell her how she makes me feel. I’ve sent her a text but haven’t gotten a response. She’s probably realizing I’m not the kind of guy she wants to get involved with and the thought of that is driving me crazy. Just one more reason I want this night to end.
Jack walks out from the back and grabs a beer on his way around the bar. He pulls his keys out of his pocket and uses the bottle opener that he keeps on his keychain to open his beer.
“I think we could both use one of these tonight,” he says.
I nod in agreement. A moment later the music turns off and we’re left in a quiet, empty bar with questions that need answers.
“Lets start with why that prick Holt was in my bar tonight. I thought all ties were severed years ago.”
I exhale a long dramatic breath. “Lauren contacted me a few months ago. Said she wanted to make some changes in her life. She asked me if I could help her get out from under Holt. I agreed to help her.”
“And what did she need from you this time?”
“Money.” I shrug my shoulders and say it like it’s obvious.
“Of course. Shit Heath, I thought you were already done with them, right?”
“Uh huh.” I’m in a pissy mood already and I know Jack doesn’t approve of the choices I’ve made with Lauren. He told me to cut all ties and walk away and that’s what I did. At least initially. I can’t say no when a woman asks me for help.
“So what the hell happened tonight?”
“Lauren stopped by to thank me for paying off her debt with Holt. Except then I look over and he’s standing over by the wall. Why’s he keeping an eye on her if she’s done with him?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore. You were nice, too nice. You helped her out again and now you just need to cut ties, again. Damn it, man. We need to stop having this conversation. You just need to be done with them.”
“I know. I will. Starting tonight, it’s all behind me again.”
“Good man.” Jack and I finish our beers and push off the bar stools to head home for the night. We walk out into the cold night and an empty parking lot. Almost empty.
“Maybe starting tomorrow,” I say to Jack as we stand in the middle of the lot eyeing up Holt and his three buddies.
“He’s still looking for a fight?” Jack says.
“He’s all jacked up after being knocked out like a little bitch.”
I say it loud enough to be overheard and Jack and I share a laugh about it. You’d think he would be the one trying to talk some sense into me when we find ourselves in these situations but I think he secretly loves the confrontation. Lets him know he’s still got it.
“Bar’s closed boys. Time to be on your way.” Jack says.
Holt and his boys walk over and spread out in a half circle in front of us. It’s meant to be intimidating but I swear I can see the twinkle of delight in Jack’s eyes.
“Seems we have some unfinished business. With him,” Holt nods in my direction, “you can be on your way old timer.”
Ooh, that’s not going to go over well.
“Hmmm, tempting. But maybe it’s you and I that have unfinished business. Let’s see, Damien Holt. I’ve read your rap sheet so I know the trivial misdemeanors you’ve been busted for. Wouldn’t my buddies at the police station love to hear about what you’ve been up to lately, though. I mean, that’s how we work. I may be retired, but as a cop, we never get tired of seeing a piece of trash like yourself put away.”
“You should watch your mouth. You don’t know nothing about me,” Holt says.
“Well that’s not exactly true. I do know that it’s possible that you’ve recruited innocent young women to run drugs for you. I know that we wouldn’t even break a sweat getting you on possession and intent to distribute if my cop friends just happened to show up at the old warehouse out on Highway 30. I mean hypothetically.” Holt’s just starting to realize that he has stirred the hornet’s nest and I can’t look away. When Jack gets going it’s something to behold. “It’s possible that you’re not as untouchable as you think. And maybe when you least expect it, you’re corrupt little world will come crashing down.”
“Here’s the part that’s really important, though, so make sure you’re listening. I don’t want to see you in this town ever again. And if you think that’s an empty threat, the next time I see you, I’m going to take you for a drive on my land. And when we’ve driven as far as we can, we’ll get out and walk. There’s some pretty rugged terrain and we’ll walk that and then I’ll show you the endless stretches of forest and you’ll get to see all of the places there are for things that need to disappear. So if that doesn’t top your list of things to do, you’ll get the fuck off my property, leave my friend alone and we’ll never see you again.”
Holt stands in front of us and I can see the wheels turning. This might be the first time in his life that he’s considering making the right decision. Or he might be trying not to piss his pants. I’d actually bet on bladder control. The guys with him turn around and walk back to their truck. They obviously didn’t expect things to play out like this but they’ve made the wise decision not to mess with Jack. He comes off a little crazy sometimes, and that’s accurate.
Holt turns around and walks back to the truck a few seconds later. Thinking about debts between us, he’s ahead a monetary pay-off that I didn’t need to offer. But his pride has been hurt twice now so time will tell if that’s something he’s willing to live with. I think it’s a pretty good deal.
Soon all that’s evident of our pissing match is the smoke from the exhaust on their truck. I let out a long whistle and turn to Jack. “Man, am I glad I switched sides years ago. You are something else.”
“I’m just glad he didn’t call my bluff. Then you would have had to do most of the heavy lifting tonight.”
“Holy shit,” I say as we walk to my truck and get inside.
Jack lives pretty close to my little hole in the wall rental so we carpool a lot. Tonight, I’m so glad he was here to get me out of dealing with Holt. I’m crossing my fingers that this is the last time I’ll see him. With our past, it was beyond stupid of me to get involved again, even if Lauren was the reason. One of these times I’ll learn my lesson and it’ll stick.
I drop Jack off at his house and we sit in the driveway for a few minutes talking about our crazy night and sharing a few good laughs about the looks on their faces when Jack basically threatened to walk Holt into the woods and off him.
Once I’m back on the road I just happen to look in my rearview mirror and notice a dark colored jeep following about a block behind me with its lights off. It’s too dark to notice the license plate number and I only see one outline, whoever’s driving. It can’t be Holt and his boys, I can’t imagine Jack’s threat would have worn off so quickly.
I’m only a few blocks from my place. I find myself just sitting here at the four-way stop, waiting to see if this guy is going to make a move. I can’t for the life of me think of who would feel the need to follow me around town in the middle of the night. And as I’ve already discovered tonight, the people from my past
aren’t going to quietly sneak up behind me. They’re going to come at me head on.
An eerie feeling settles in my stomach as I sit in my truck and inconspicuously look in the rearview mirror to figure out who is behind me. I image them doing the same thing. Watching me from the jeep, waiting to see what my next move will be. After idling at this stop sign long enough, I hit the gas and turn toward home. At this point, whoever it is knows I saw them. I’m tired and have already had a shitty night. At this point, make a move or go home asshole.
After getting Abbey home and tucked in for the night I make my way back to Jack’s cabin. I am sad that I am not going back to the inn because Greta is always there, ready to listen to me and make me feel at home. The cabin feels really large and empty when I get back. It makes me feel really lonely.
I go to my bedroom, close the door, and let the tears drip from my eyes. I crawl into the bed and cover myself with the comforter. I bury my face in my pillow and cry.
Eventually the tears slow. I get out of bed and walk to the front door to make sure I locked it when I came in. I put another log on the fire and curl up in a blanket on the couch. I decide it has been too long since I last spoke to Cate. I call her and she answers on the third ring.
“Hey! It’s been too long! How are things going in snowy Winterhaven?” she asks.
“Things are pretty good. I am just feeling a bit home sick tonight and wanted to hear your voice.”
“Well I miss you so much, too. What would you think if I came to visit?”
“Oh, I would love that!” My mood instantly improves. “When do you think you could come? I have so much to show you and some great people for you to meet.”
“I was thinking of coming to visit tomorrow. Now that you’re all settled in, I figured this would be a great time.”
“I seriously can’t wait. So, tell me, how are things?”
“Oh you know, the usual. Work is work, I’m always having to cover someone’s shift. We’re just a little short staffed until I can hire someone to cover.”
“To cover my shifts, you mean?” I am feeling overly sensitive that my decision to leave so suddenly is negatively impacting Cate.
“Well, yes, to cover for you, but it isn’t a big deal. We’ll find someone soon. What’s the matter with you?”
I start to feel choked up again. “I guess I’m just realizing that I’m horribly selfish for leaving so suddenly and making things harder on you.” I start to cry right into the phone. If Cate hadn’t been my best friend since we were little, she might have been annoyed that now she also has to comfort me as well as cover my shifts at work.
Instead she laughs. “Ha! I’m sorry. I don’t mean to laugh but why are you crying so hard about that? Do you have your period?”
“No,” I sniffle, “I don’t have my period. It’s just…”
“It’s just what?”
“Well, to make a long story short, I met a guy when I first got to Winterhaven.”
She gasps loudly into the phone. “This is about a guy!” She sounds way too excited.
“It’s not what you think. We work at the same bar and we’ve only spoken a few times. I definitely have a crush on him. We kissed a few nights ago. Nothing big. Anyway, he left abruptly and then I didn’t hear anything from him. I just stopped into the bar tonight to take my friend home and he was flirting with a bimbo at the bar. And now I just feel like an idiot. I’m mad at myself for getting all mixed up right away in more boy drama.”
“Well, first I’d just like to say that I much prefer this type of boy drama to any other kind of drama you had with Brian. And so what if he’s flirting with some bimbo at the bar? It doesn’t mean anything. Guys always get flirty when they’re out drinking with their friends. If you really like him, maybe you need to be a little more assertive and go after what you want.”
I laugh. “I’ve never been good around guys. Especially guys I like. You know that all too well.”
We both laugh. It feels so good to have such an easy and honest conversation. We ramble on for another half an hour, talking about nothing and everything. Eventually we say good night with a promise to see each other on the weekend. Cate also insists that I introduce her to Heath though I don’t make any promises. I do promise to point him out if we stop at the bar for a drink or two. That is the best I can do. It will be a much needed best friend reunion weekend.
Once I’m off the phone I look down and realize that I have missed a few texts from Heath. I shut my phone off and go to bed.
A girl’s day is just what the doctor ordered. Cate, Greta and I are standing at the counter in the little bakery on Main Street. We are trying to decide between the delicious assortment of muffins, scones, bagels and donuts.
Spending the day with them has definitely improved my mood. I am really enjoying myself, even though I have to keep pushing any thoughts of Heath out of my mind. He texted me last night after I saw him at the bar. I won’t deny that I was pissed and I didn’t know what to say so I just left it for now. I have to keep telling myself that it’s better not to get involved. He made me feel like I really don’t know him and I need to be able to trust him.
I can’t help thinking about the night in the tiny room at Greta’s inn, though. Imagining his tongue on my skin makes me want him so much. I want every piece of him. But then I think back to the bar with him flirting with that woman and it makes what we shared seem cheap. Not to mention the other sketchy characters he was with.
“So what have you decided on?” Embry asks. Embry is the baker’s daughter. She is the one who actually runs the store. She is young, friendly and beautiful, unlike her dad who I initially thought ran the place. I have never seen him smile, not once since I moved here. Personally I am glad she is the one I interact with and not her father. I always feel a little sorry for her. It can’t be easy growing up with a father that seems so overbearing.
“I’m going to have to try the white chocolate raspberry scone,” I say.
“Me too” says Cate.
“I’m going with the fudge brownie,” Greta says.
Cate and I turn and smile at her. I should have known she is a dessert for breakfast kind of lady.
“What?” she says. “Like it’s any different from a donut?”
We laugh. Putting it that way, I am going to have to change my position on sweets for breakfast.
We say our good-byes to Embry and walk outside. The sun is shining but it is still really cold. Our breath looks like white puffs of cotton balls in the cold winter air. We are spending the morning shopping and bumming around town. Later I am taking Cate to Jack’s bar for drinks and so I can introduce her to Abbey and the guys. I’m not sure if Heath will be working but I have convinced myself I will be able to act like everything is fine when we see each other. I have a lot of practice doing that from when I was with Brian.
After visiting a few clothing boutiques we drive Greta back to the inn and Cate and I head back out to the cabin. We shower and change, and help each other pick out some fun outfits for the night ahead. I decide to wear a new top I picked up earlier in the day, one that really accentuates my cleavage and hourglass figure. Being with Cate always gives me a little extra bit of confidence.
“Have you seen Brian at all since everything happened?” I am doing a really good job not thinking about him but Cate is my link to my old life. I need reassurance that he has truly moved on and is going to leave me alone.
“No. He was there when I went to get your things that night but that’s the last time I saw him. I told him you were done with him, leaving town and to forget about you. That he’d never see you again.”
“And how did he take that?”
“Just as you’d expect. He’s an arrogant asshole. He’s not going to let someone tell him how things are going to be. He didn’t have a choice though, he has no idea where you went. I’m the only one that knows and I sure as hell won’t tell him. He knows it too.”
Cate and Brian never got along. She kne
w from the beginning that he was trouble. Eventually I had a feeling that told me he was off too, but I didn’t trust myself at the time to acknowledge it. If there’s anything I learned from that horrible situation, it’s to trust my instincts.
“So, am I going to be able to meet Heath tonight?”
My heart jumps in my chest just at the mention of his name. No matter how much I try to deny it, he is the one I want. My heart and my brain can’t seem to get on the same page.
“I’m not sure. He’ll probably be working. But I told you, he obviously isn’t interested in a relationship and I’m a relationship kind of girl. I don’t want to be his latest flavor of the month, so I need to get him out of my head and just move on.”
“Well, that’s something we can work on tonight. Maybe you just need to meet a new guy to help you move on from the old. Getting laid in the process never hurt anyone; it might be just what you need!”
“You know me well enough to know that has never been my thing.”
“I know but maybe just try to make things as uncomplicated as you can tonight.”
“I’ll try. No promises though.”
The bar is busy when we walk in. Heath is working. He is the first guy we see when we walk in the front door, in fact. His eyes find me and lock onto mine. I keep myself calm and nonchalant as I introduce Cate to Heath.
“Heath, this is my best friend Cate. She’s here visiting for a few days.”
Heath is polite as I knew he would be. He extends his hand, “Nice to meet you Cate.” Then he turns to me. “I’ve been trying to get in touch with you. Give me a chance to explain.”
“Lets just keep things as uncomplicated as possible.”
Keeping things short and sweet, I quickly move on. “I’m going to introduce Cate to Abbey and Quinn. We’ll see you later.” Before I can walk away, he gently grabs my arm to keep me from walking away.
“It’s too late for uncomplicated. I need to talk to you.” He whispers it in my ear, so closely I feel his breath on my skin, followed by a tingle. “Tonight.”
A Cautious Heart (The Heart's Temptation Series Book 1) Page 5