“I didn’t see any of it happen and I didn’t hang around once the cops showed up. I drove you to the hospital, remember?”
“Yes, I know. But you must have talked to Bree since then. What did she tell you?”
“Why don’t you talk to her about it?”
I’m starting to get pissed that Jack is deliberately skirting around my questions. What the hell is going on?
“I’ve tried texting her, she hasn’t replied.” I know Jack really well. I know when he is stalling. He is really shitty at lying and it is painfully obvious when he is hiding things from me. I lean forward and stare. “I’m not leaving this office without some information. Quinn has already told me what he knows. I just need to know if she’s okay. Is she still in town or did she leave?”
Jack lets out a long breath of air and runs his fingers back and forth through his hair. A sure sign of defeat.
“It looks like her ex, Brian, has an endless supply of money. That’s always a dangerous combination for a man with mental issues. He hired a guy to find Bree and then he came here. When, we’re not sure. But it looks like he has been here for at least a day or two. He was most likely just watching her initially and then obviously something set him off.” He motions his hand toward me, indicating he has the gist of what happened between us that night but he won’t need the details. “From what Bree told me, he knocked you out and grabbed her in a jealous rage. Luckily Quinn reacted quickly, as I’m sure he mentioned to you, and Cate had called the police as soon as she saw Brian in the bar. He took off when he heard the sirens. Unfortunately they still haven’t found him.”
I listen and take it all in. It all makes sense and sounds a lot like the story Quinn told me. But it is still bothering me that I don’t know why Bree has cut herself off from me.
“So, Bree is still in town?”
“Yes, she’s still here. She has also been taking some time to herself. Like you. She was really shaken up.”
“Okay. So, why won’t she talk to me? I just need to understand what I did.”
“After Brian knocked you out, he grabbed Bree by the throat and started choking her. While he was choking her he told her that if he ever saw her with you again, he’d kill you. She has been adamant about staying away from you. She doesn’t want to see you get hurt again.”
Well shit. That explains a lot.
Sitting in front of the fireplace, curled up in a blanket on the couch, I am finally beginning to realize how naive I have been about Brian. Thinking that I could just leave, with no consequences, was just foolish. I thought the worst of it was when he hit me for the first time. But realizing that he will find me wherever I go and hurt anyone that gets too close to me, that is infinitely worse. This realization has shut me down. All of the hope and ambition that I had started to feel since coming to Winterhaven is gone. In that one moment, he managed to take everything away from me. Now I find myself hiding out in the cabin, licking my wounds.
Cate stayed with me as long as she could. Eventually she had to go back to the coffee shop and the life that awaited her there. A life I used to share with her. Sitting on this couch I can’t help but wonder if I should stay or go back as well. Now that Brian knows where I am, maybe I should just go back to my old life. I need to stay away from Heath to keep him safe and in order to do that, I think I’m going to have to leave. It’s all I can do not to drive over to see him right now.
I want to be alone but I dread it at the same time. I don’t want anyone to see how fragile and broken I am but at the same time, that fragile place I am in leaves me feeling scared when I am on my own.
Knowing that Heath has been hurt because of me makes everything I am feeling that much worse. Maybe I am being punished for my choices. I did think that leaving my old life would eliminate the opportunities for Brian to just show up at my door and try to reconcile. I thought leaving town was a strong enough message that I was done and I didn’t want to see him ever again. But then I moved here and met Heath. As much as I tried to deny how he made me feel, he tempted me and in the end I couldn’t resist him. Just being around him makes me feel something that I have never felt with a man before. And I like it.
I don’t have a lot of experience with men. Brian was my first serious boyfriend and I really let myself get swept up in the novelty of it. He was also the first man I ever had sex with. I wanted to wait to make sure I was with someone that would make the experience special. I’m not a one-night stand kind of girl. Unfortunately our first sexual encounter left me feeling disappointed to say the least. I remember wondering why my girlfriends made such a fuss about it. It really didn’t seem like anything to write home about. To be completely honest, I was never able to have an orgasm when I had sex with Brian and he didn’t like to go down on me…though he was constantly pushing his cock in my face and asking me to take him in my mouth. Our sex life was just one of the ways he was a selfish man. I started trying to avoid sex and he would just get mad because I wasn’t more into it.
Heath is so different in so many ways but thinking about how hot he made me in the utility closet last week, makes me achy with need every time it crosses my mind. And it is on my mind all the time. Somehow I have to try to get over it and move on. Whatever my next move will be. I am a mess and I can’t even get off the couch.
There is a loud and insistent knock on the front door. The kind of knock that lets me know whoever is there won’t be leaving until I open the door and find out what they want. Deep inside, I’m praying that it’s Heath. Pulling myself off of the couch, I shuffle to the door. Greta’s beautiful, energetic face is staring back at me.
“I was starting to think you forgot about our Sunday coffee date,” she says as she hands me a fresh cup of coffee. I gladly accept and step aside so she can walk in. “Not as bad as I thought it would be,” she says as she looks around the cabin. “I thought you might be buried in self pity by now.”
“Not self pity. But self doubt and guilt, yes.”
I gesture for her to follow me into the living room. Making room on the couch, I resume my position and wait for her to join me. I slowly sip my coffee and let the warm liquid soothe me for the time being.
“So why are you still in hiding? Jack said you haven’t been in to work since the incident.”
She sounds so sincere. Just her being here right now tells me she knows I am dealing with some inner turmoil and she isn’t going to let me go through it on my own. No judging. That’s what I like so much about Greta. I never feel judged by her, not even the first night I showed up in town. My face told my story, bruised and swollen from crying. She never said a thing, though. Just gave me her kindness.
“I just don’t know what I should do,” I say, shrugging my shoulders as I fight back the tears that threaten. I am so tired of crying.
“Okay.” She says it very matter of fact like she is ready to take charge and help me figure everything out. “Let’s think this through one thing at a time. What should we tackle first?”
“Should I stay here or should I move back to the city? Now that Brian knows where I am it feels stupid for me to stay. He’ll find me wherever I go and make my life a living hell.”
Greta sits quietly for a moment. Finally she says, “Why don’t we go for a drive? I have something I want to show you. Besides, it’ll be good for you to get out of here for a while.”
“Will this drive require me to change out of my lounge wear?”
“Depends. How long have you been wearing this particular set of lounge wear?”
“I just put these on this morning.”
“Okay. We’re good to go then.” Greta gets up and walks toward the door, shaking her keys in her hand, indicating she will be driving. I grab my warm coat and make sure to bring my coffee.
Once in the car, Greta drives us back downtown and toward the inn. It is a beautiful day, cold but sunny. The sun reflects off of the banks of snow which makes it seem even brighter. Even though I haven’t been here very long, I have still begun to think of it a
s home. I made the commitment in my mind and I am taking a lot of steps toward making it so.
We stop in front of the inn. I look over at Greta, clearly wondering what she is up to.
“Come take a walk with me.”
“Okay…it isn’t exactly walking weather though.”
“It’ll be a short walk. Just bundle up.”
I do as I am told. Walking with our coffees, we head toward the inn but instead of going inside we turn onto a small path that has been dug in the snow. We have to walk single file so I let Greta lead the way. She is right, it isn’t a long walk at all. Within a quick turn from the inn I can see where the path leads. There is a small building that sits just off the property line of the inn. I have never paid any attention to it before, mostly because it has been surrounded by bushes, flowers and trees. Now in the heart of winter, it stands out like a sore thumb.
“This is what I wanted you to see,” she says as she waves her hand in front of us to present this small building to me.
“What is it exactly? It looks abandoned to me.”
“It is abandoned. It’s abandoned and run down. I don’t even know what it used to be. There has never been anything in there as long as I’ve been here. And I’ve been here for a long time.”
“Why don’t you just have it torn down?”
“Well it isn’t on my property. And I guess I’ve always thought it has potential. A little TLC and definitely some updates, it could be a nice little shop for this town. Or even a coffee shop.”
She looks at me and smiles while she takes a moment to enjoy another sip of her coffee. I let what she said sink in. Of course she is right, when I take a moment to really look at the little building. It is old and in need of renovating, but the location is amazing and it really is the perfect size for a little coffee shop. In the spring once the snow melts, we can put in some landscaping that can mirror and compliment the welcoming exterior that Greta has at the Cozy Cottage.
“I love it.”
“I thought you might. I know you’ve been searching around for the perfect location for your coffee shop and nothing has really jumped out at you. I always felt like this cute little building was here for a reason. That one day I’d find something to do with it. Now you’re here and if you were to leave, who knows what would come of it.”
“And what happens when Brian shows up again and starts snooping around your property. It probably isn’t a good idea to have me so close to you.”
“Nonsense. So he knows you’re here. So what? He can’t just show up again if he wants to avoid jail time. He assaulted Heath and you in the bar. Eventually the police will find him.”
“I just can’t stand the thought of anyone else getting hurt because of me.” I wrap my arms around my waist and stare at the building in front of me, already seeing the potential of what I can make here. After a minute of contemplating my options I say, “So if I just decide to say ‘fuck it’ and take my chances with everything, who do you think I can talk to about purchasing this building and the surrounding land?”
“I already looked into that for you.” She turns and gives me a big hug unable to hide her excitement. I am excited too. This feels like a sign. The perfect place to start up the coffee shop. “Let’s go inside out of the cold and I can show you some of the information I got for you from the town hall.”
I grab her arm before she can walk away. “Thank you Greta. I feel so lucky that you are in my life. I will find a way to return the favor.”
“Don’t worry about any of that. I know you’re thankful and you’re very welcome. It’s a good business move for me too, you know. If I have a cute little coffee shop out back I have access to gourmet coffee and bakery goods for the people staying at the inn. It’s a win, win.”
“I’m sure there will be significant renovations that need to take place but it would be nice to have everything ready to go by spring. I don’t know if that’s possible, but now that we have a plan I’m so excited to get everything started!”
We walk back into the inn and take our place at our usual spot around the kitchen table. Greta always manages to have some sort of bakery item available for munching at the table. It is dangerous to my waistline. This is the most positive that I have felt in a week, however, so I am going to treat myself. I can do this. I can focus on renovating this building and making it perfect for the coffee shop. Focusing on work will help me put my feelings for Heath at the back of my mind. Pushing him away until Brian is found and in custody is a necessity. It’s the only way I can make sure he doesn’t get hurt again. I feel a wave of panic rush over me as I come to terms with what I need to do with Heath. The last thing I want to do is push him away. Now that I have had a taste of him, I want more and I want it every night.
“I did already look into the property for you and I found someone that can start on the renovations as soon as everything is finalized with the bank.”
“Wow. You knew I was going to agree to all of this, didn’t you? You’re right, of course. One look at the place and I can already see how perfect it will be.”
“It will be perfect. And speaking of that, you know how beautiful Jack’s cabin is now that the renovations are finished? Well, I went ahead and asked the best man for the job in town if he’d be willing to tackle this for you. He didn’t even hesitate to accept.”
“Jack?”
“No…Heath.”
My heart drops into my stomach. Pushing away and avoiding a man that is the lead renovator on my future business is going to be impossible. Besides, it makes me feel good inside to know that he accepted the job and is willing to help me out even after the way I treated him when he was hurt because of me. He is a good man. I know it in my heart. But that’s exactly why I have to make sure the choices I made in my past don’t spill over and affect his future.
Finding ways to be physical has been the best medicine for me over the years. Once I discovered how therapeutic working with my hands could be, it became almost like a drug. I love the feeling I get when I accomplish something. How starting a project from scratch and being able to see the transformation take place over the course of time and hard work is so satisfying to me.
Jack helped me learn how to channel my emotions and turn that wasted energy into something productive. Now I am able to see myself having goals for the future. Owning my own renovation company would be a dream. Finding a woman that will be devoted to me and faithful, is something I can only hope for. I don’t want to be alone forever. Bree helped me see that.
I try to avoid her and fight the feelings I have whenever I am around her. It took a conversation I had with Jack to start to convince me that I was being stupid about the whole situation. We were sitting together at the bar a few nights ago after closing. We had just got in a new type of IPA beer and it needed to be sampled. I had just finished explaining to Jack that if Bree wanted me to leave her alone, I’d leave her alone. My life was probably better off without complicating things so much anyway.
He just sat quietly through my entire rant and then he took a slow draw from his beer bottle and set it down before he said, “You two don’t know how perfect you are for each other. Neither one of you believe you deserve to be happy.”
I can’t get what he said out of my head. It’s like after all these years, something finally clicked. And Jack is right, Bree does make me happy. I have dreams about her at night. She completely took me over when my guard was down. I can remember the taste of her on my lips and the intoxicating way she smells. Her hair is silk running through my fingers as our mouths devour each other. There is something to be said about that kind of passion. It isn’t something to be tossed aside. It is happiness and it is rare.
So when Greta asked me if I would be willing to renovate the old building behind the inn, I eagerly accepted. I’m not going to sit back anymore and be content with a mundane existence. I want the best that life has to offer. And I am finally coming to realize that I deserve it. Or maybe Bree is just the kind of woman
that a man doesn’t deny himself.
It has been about a week since Bree and I last saw each other when I pull up in front of her place, my truck full of information to go over regarding her future coffee shop. It’s obvious that she is avoiding me, but I need to see her. Equipped with a new sense of determination, I walk to her door and knock.
She pulls the door open and when my eyes settle on her for the first time in multiple days, I forget all about the plans I am holding and just want to take her in my arms and repeat our encounter from the bar. I know she feels the pull too. I can see how her eyes take me in, how she seems to hold her breath when she realizes it is me. Standing before each other, I know we are both thinking about that last time we saw each other. How I would have taken her in the utility closet if we hadn’t been interrupted. How I would take her right now on the floor if she asked me to.
“Can I come in?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Look, I know what happened with Brian. You don’t need to tell me anything else about him if you don’t want to. But I’m not going to let him come between us. He’s not going to control you anymore and he sure as shit isn’t controlling me.”
She opens the door and steps aside so I can walk through.
Instead of standing in the doorway, I decide to head right in to the kitchen table. Setting all of the papers down on the table, I take a seat and then pat the chair next to me. She hesitates, standing at the edge of the kitchen. Giving her a minute to make up her mind I start pulling out some of the things I want to show her.
“I brought some things for you to look at related to the building for your coffee shop. Greta said you were okay with me doing the renovations for you?”
She finally makes her way to the table and leans one knee down into the chair. “I know you can do amazing things and you’re so talented with renovating. But, after what happened with Brian, I just think you should stay away from me.” She continues on before I can say anything, wanting to get everything out before she looses her nerve, I imagine. “And I never had a chance to apologize for what happened and how I handled things.”
A Cautious Heart (The Heart's Temptation Series Book 1) Page 7