“You don’t need to apologize. I’m a big boy, I can handle myself. And I want to help you with the renovations, unless there is someone else that you would prefer do it.”
“No, it’s nothing like that. Your work is beautiful. I just understand if you don’t want to get mixed up with the drama that seems to be my life right now.”
“From what I understand, he’s gone for now and it would be really stupid of him to come back at all. If the police don’t arrest him first, I want my chance at payback. That asshole isn’t going to hurt you anymore, Bree.” I reach out to take her hand. I can’t help it. I decided she makes me happy and I’m not going to deny myself that happiness anymore.
She squeezes my hand and gives me a small smile in return. She is so beautiful. I ache to pull her into my arms and touch and kiss her all over her body. I want the connection I feel to be as strong as possible. It has been a long time since I have wanted anything as much as I want her right now, in fact. But I am not going to push her into anything that she might regret later. For now, I can be happy just being together like this.
“Okay,” she says. “So what did you bring for me to look at today?”
“I wanted to get your ideas on what you envision for a final product. Also, I thought we could go ahead and schedule the inspection so we know what we’re working with and what needs to be fixed first. Then we can come up with a time line and I should be able to give you a better idea when a possible finish date could be.”
“That sounds great. Show me what you have.”
About a week later we have over a foot of snow fall. Bree follows me home from the bar. I offered to drive her in my truck but she insisted on driving her car. The least I can do is lead the way and make sure she makes it home okay. The plow attachment on the front of my truck would be able to clear out her driveway so she can actually pull her car into the garage. She waits in the road while I make a few sweeps up and down her driveway, clearing it of snow. Once she is inside the garage I am planning on waving and driving home. She steps out of the garage and motions for me to come in, however, and I can’t pass that up.
Parking my truck, I run into the garage after her. It is freezing cold and the snow hasn’t stopped falling yet. Bree closes the garage door behind me, effectively closing out the cold. The garage door leads right into the kitchen. It is quite cold inside, too.
“Why don’t I get a fire started?” I say.
“Sure, that sounds great. Do you want a coffee or something to drink?”
“I’m not really a coffee guy. I’m more of a beer guy.”
“I might just have something left over from when Cate was here. She’s a big beer drinker as well.”
She moves off into the kitchen and I head into the living room to start a fire. I grab a few logs and crumple a piece of newspaper to get the fire started. She is running low on fire wood so I make a mental note to stop back over within the next few days to chop some more for her. Once I am sure the fire catches and will continue to burn, I walk back to the kitchen. Bree is sitting at the kitchen table staring out the window. She looks preoccupied. I can tell she is worried about something by the way she sits so stiffly at the table and how her brows are crinkled at the middle of her forehead. She is far away from me right now.
“Hey,” I say as I sit down in front of the beer she has set out for me.
“Hey,” she says snapping back from her thoughts. “It’s your lucky night, there are two beers left in the fridge. Not enough to get blitzed but enough to mellow you out if you need it.”
“Perfect.” I take a swig of the beer and set it back down. “Everything okay?”
Her eyes quickly catch mine before she looks down at her coffee mug. “Yeah. I hope you don’t mind stopping in for a bit tonight. I just thought I saw Brian’s car when we were driving back from the bar and it freaked me out a little bit. It’s completely selfish of me but I just didn’t want to be alone. You don’t have to stay long, I just needed to try to take my mind off of it.”
“It’s not a problem. Do you want me to drive back into town and see if he’s around?”
“No. I can’t be sure it was him. It just looked like his jeep and now that I know he’s out there somewhere, it just worries me.”
“He has a jeep? Is it dark, like a black or green?”
“Yeah, dark green. Why?”
“Someone was following me in a dark jeep. It was a while ago now. I figured it was someone I knew but I couldn’t think who would care enough to be following me around in the middle of the night. It makes sense it would be your possessive ex-boyfriend.”
“Ugh, I’m so sorry. See, you should stay away from me. I’ve got a lot of baggage.
“We’ve all known people in our lives that we wish we didn’t. That’s just part of living.”
“Yes, that’s true.” She is looking at me thoughtfully as if she is deciding whether or not to delve into any personal questions. I can tell she wants to. “Who do you know in your life that you wish you didn’t?”
I take another swig of beer before I tackle my confession. I want to get my past out in the open and see where it leaves us.
“There are quite a few people in my past. Most significantly my ex girlfriend and a few ‘friends’ that I hung around with back then. I was such a follower when I was younger. I did a lot of bad things because the guys I hung around with did them or they told me to do them. I got in a lot of fights and did a lot of stupid things.”
“Oh, so you have a bad history with an ex too.”
“Yes. We were together for five years. I found out at the end that she was involved with this guy named Holt. He was bad news, involved with drugs and a lot of other really shady people. Lauren had apparently started using and then started selling to support her habit. When I found out how Holt had control of her, I lost my temper and put a couple of his guys in the hospital. I would’ve gone to jail for assault if Jack hadn’t intervened. I had problems controlling my temper when I was young. It doesn’t help when you hang around a bunch of guys that act the same way and encourage you to be your worst. Looking back though, I was so out of control. One part of me hated myself because of the things I would do but the other part of me almost liked it. I don’t know, I guess a taste of the power it gives you to control someone else into making them do what you want can be an addicting feeling.”
Man, it felt good to finally tell her. And she wasn’t looking at me like I was some sort of monster.
“That really sucks. What horrible people they must have been.”
“Yeah, I realize that now. But I also felt guilty just up and leaving her after being together so long. I felt betrayed because of her relationship with Holt. After a while I managed to convince myself that she made the choices she did because of the drugs. That’s why when Lauren contacted me awhile back and asked for money to help her get out from under Holt, I agreed. I used my savings to pay off her debt and help her get free of him. I saw them that night in the bar when you were there to get Abbey. It’s like the light bulb finally went on when I saw her and I was so angry for being played for a fool again. It was obvious to me that night that she had no intention of leaving Holt.
So it took a lot of control not to react impulsively and knock that asshole out when I saw him. Jack has been such an important person in my life. He has helped me turn my life around and get on a better path. I’ve worked really hard to change my ways. I wanted you to know, since you have a past with a man with a bad temper. I understand if you don’t want to get involved with me knowing what I was like and the people I was involved with.”
“That’s ridiculous Heath. I know I don’t know you very well, but you’re nothing like Brian. You’re a good man, I can feel it. Woman’s intuition. I knew from the beginning that there was something off about Brian but I ignored it. I figured I just didn’t have a lot of experience with men. Trust me, I’ll never make that mistake again.”
“Well I think I can safely say I’ve seen the last of
the people that have caused me trouble. Jack put the fear of God in them the last time we crossed paths.”
She smiles at me and takes another drink of her coffee. It feels so nice just being here, with her. Sitting at the table together, talking, it feels like home to me.
We end up talking for at least another hour. We share things about our pasts, talk about stupid shit we did when we were young. It is the best night. It isn’t until Bree stifles a yawn that I get up from the table and tell her I will go so she can get some sleep. When I look outside, however, at least another foot of snow has fallen while we were inside enjoying each other’s company. With such a large amount of snow, the plows are behind and this country road will be one of the last to be cleared. I honestly don’t know if my truck can get through the drifts of snow.
“Well hell. That is a lot of snow. There’s no way you’ll get through the country roads tonight. You’ll have to wait until tomorrow. I have a really cozy couch that you can sleep on tonight.”
She is very matter of fact, letting me know there is no point arguing. I wasn’t planning on it, though. I’d be stuck in a snow drift sleeping in my truck if I tried to venture out tonight. Not that I want to leave. I am right where I want to be and I plan on finding ways to stay around.
“I will definitely take you up on your offer.”
“There you go.” I am just bringing out the pillows to add to the pile of blankets on the sofa. “A fire, blankets, pillows, a big screen television, what more could a man want, really?”
“You’re right, I’ll be more comfortable here than at my own place,” he says.
“I even have an extra toothbrush that I set out on the counter for you in the bathroom. Otherwise, help yourself to anything that’s in the kitchen. You know where my room is if you need me for anything.”
“Thanks. And, sorry to impose on you like this.”
“You’re not imposing. I asked you to come in, remember?”
“Yeah, that’s true. I guess this is all your fault isn’t it?”
All I can do is smile. Playful Heath is my favorite and I don’t get to see this side of him very often. The only time I get a glimpse of his dimples is when he is giving me a full-fledged smile. It makes him look playful and sinfully sexy all at the same time.
“Yes, my fault,” I say.
We stay like this for a moment while the silence washes over us. The charge in the air starts shifting the longer we stare at each other. Finally I say, “Well, good night.”
“Good night.”
Quickly I walk back to my bedroom. If I stay in that room with him a moment longer I probably would pounce on him. I like the way he looks in my living room, on my couch. It’s definitely something I could get used to. Not to mention he’s wearing a black fitted thermal shirt because of the weather. The black shirt set against his dark features makes my mouth water. It is also a reminder of the smooth, muscular body he has under that shirt.
God, a large part of me wants to invite him to share my bed with me tonight, clothing optional. My mind keeps wandering back to the intimate moments we shared. The way his hands felt on my body. His skilled fingers making love to the most intimate parts of me. I could only imagine what sex with him would be like.
Just in case, I chose a long sleeve night gown to sleep in. It is soft and silky almost like a second skin. I have plenty of warm blankets on the bed to keep me warm. Crawling under the covers, I turn out the lamp feeling safe knowing that Heath is in the living room.
I don’t know how I got here. One moment I am crawling into my bed and now I am standing on the street. Only this isn’t a street that looks familiar to me. There are houses behind me but I am standing where it is undeveloped, with open fields around me. It’s dark and the snow is gone. There is one lone street lamp a block over and it casts an eerie glow in the otherwise quiet and desolate night. When I look down I don’t have shoes on, or a coat for that matter. I’m standing in my pajamas. I start to walk toward the houses. I don’t like the feeling of being outside in the dark by myself. I feel exposed.
Once I am close enough to get a good look at the houses, they all look the same to me. Same color, same design. The whole street just has copies of the same house as far as I can see. It is so bizarre. I look around me, searching for a sign of where I could be or any sign of life. As I glance back toward the street lamp I notice a man standing there. He is wearing a black trench coat and a hat, just standing completely still under the light. The feelings of confusion that I had been experiencing a moment ago are quickly replaced with a sense of dread. I don’t know what is going on but I need to move.
Walking past the cookie cutter homes, I look for signs of life. A light in the window, someone sitting in front of the television or a family sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner. There’s nothing. All of the homes are dark, no signs of life anywhere. Reaching the end of the street, I look around to see where I should go next. Out of the corner of my eye I catch movement down the opposite end of the street. The man in the trench coat. He is following me. Not knowing what to do next, I turn the corner looking for somewhere to hide. I run up onto the porch of one of the homes, testing the front door to see if it is open. It’s locked.
Now the man is closer. He has a slow, steady walk that is filling me with absolute panic. I try to run but it feels like I have bricks on my feet. For some reason I can’t move quickly and the harder I try to run, the harder it is to move at all. The man in the trench coat is so close to me now. The feeling inside me makes me open my mouth and scream. I flail my arms while frantically trying to get my feet to cooperate and just scream. And then he’s on me. I feel his arms grabbing at me so I continue to flail my arms and scream, trying to escape him.
“Bree! Wake up. You’re dreaming.”
I sit straight up in bed. Heath is sitting next to me, his hands on my arms. He has turned the lamp on and is looking at me with concern. I’m not able to say anything right away. I’m waiting for the dream to leave me but the fresh memory of it is giving me the chills. I quickly wipe away the tears that escape down my cheeks and pull the blankets tighter around me, trying to stop the shaking. Heath stands up and leaves, returning a moment later with a glass of water.
“Here, take a drink.”
He hands me the glass of water and I drink it down, feeling the cold water move from my throat down to my stomach. Now that I’m fully awake, I instantly feel embarrassed that Heath is here to witness my nightmare.
“I’m so sorry. I don’t know what the hell that was; I’ve never had nightmares like that before.”
“It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re okay. You scared the shit out of me. I was asleep and then I heard you scream, I didn’t know what was going on.”
“I don’t know what was going on either. Maybe just thinking that I saw Brian earlier tonight had my subconscious all worked up.”
“Is that what you were dreaming about? Brian?”
“It was just a man. I couldn’t see his face but he was creepy as hell and he was chasing me. It was one of those dreams where you try to run away from something but you can’t, your feet don’t work like they should. It’s like running through quicksand.”
Just thinking about it sends a shiver through my body again. There is enough going on in my life right now that I wouldn’t be surprised if I had nightmares every night. But up until tonight, I don’t remember any bad dreams. I am usually a good sleeper. Everything must be catching up to me right now.
“Yeah, those dreams are the worst. I also hate the dreams where you’re falling. Sometimes you can actually feel your stomach drop. Or the dreams where you show up to school or work and you realize you forgot to get dressed before you left the house.”
That makes me smile. “I always had dreams when I was in high school that I would be in gym class and we’d all be in the locker room changing, and then the next thing I knew I was standing with my class in the gym completely naked. They were the worst. I always had so much anxiety about
high school gym class.”
“That would have been something I would have liked to see.”
“Me in gym class?”
“No, you completely naked.”
I slug him in the arm as we both laugh. My dream has already faded and I am feeling calm and relaxed again. Now that I have him so close to me in my bed, however, new feelings are igniting within me.
His eyes are taking me in and I am not sure what he is feeling. The laughter has died from his joke and now we are quiet, sitting very intimately, unsure what to do next.
“I should let you get some sleep,” he says.
I feel a flash of panic at the thought of him leaving me. I don’t know if it is the dream or how he makes me feel when he is around me but I don’t want him to go. I have never been good at flirting or even being open about what I want from a man. Somehow, tonight, I find the courage to tempt him.
“Stay,” I say.
From the look on his face, I would say he is tempted. Just to be sure he understands what I am asking, I take the hem of my nightgown and slowly bring the fabric up my body and pull it free. His hand is reaching for me before the nightgown hits the floor. I can’t stop myself from staring as his hand gently touches the skin from my neck and makes a trail down to my breast. I don’t know what it is about his touch, but it leaves a trail of heat that makes me want to beg for more.
Pulling closer to me, his hand cups my breast and gives it a pleasurable squeeze. I can’t keep from touching him any longer. My fingers find his shirt and pull it off. He has the most mouthwatering body. His chest is large, shoulders wide. There is a light dusting of chest hair that is curly and soft. I ache to rub my bare skin against his and feel his strength as he rubs against my nipples. My mouth wants to kiss all of his thick muscles while he puts his strong hands on me. I start by letting my hands caress his chest. His heart is beating quickly. Without removing my hands I bring my lips to the middle of his chest and very softly kiss him.
A Cautious Heart (The Heart's Temptation Series Book 1) Page 8