After Everything I've Done For You: A Chi-Town Soap Opera

by Nicety

  “Here, come swallow this shit.”

  I turned around quickly and sat politely on my knees as he skeeted all into my mouth, on my cheeks, and in my eyes and hair. I held my tongue out welcoming every drop of it. He liked to be nasty and so did I. Him being a Scorpio and I a Virgo; we were two freaky lovers in a pod. We were made for each other.

  And, as he kissed a clean spot on my forehead and confessed I love you to me, I watched him walk his sexy firm ass to the bathroom to clean up. Remaining planted on the floor, I was completely content with him. He was mine. He was far from perfect but what man was? Jeremiah was my man and I loved him.

  Chapter 2

  Damita

  …Red light

  You know I can't make this thing that official

  Believe we had a great night but I ain't the type to tell you that I miss you shit

  You don't like that I make this easy, leaving

  After sexing on the floor

  Baby I know you need me, like I need you

  But I'm not the one you wanna love.

  **So just pop a couple bands with a nigga like me

  Loving ain't the same with a nigga like

  You use to them but ain't no loving me

  I hear what you would say and girl it's clear to see

  You should just drink a couple drinks with a nigga like me

  You probably go insane with a nigga like me

  Let's just party till we can't, ain't no loving me

  And I'm the one to blame, ain't no loving me

  So don't come looking for love…

  My ass popped in the air hard as hell making my cheeks clap hard as fuck in these niggas’ faces. My knees were sore as ever from plopping down on the stage so quickly trying to get these raggedy ass niggas to throw them dollars. It was a tiring and resentful job but somebody had to do it. I had been in Atlanta for four years and it was the only thing I could find to do to take care of myself and pay the fucking bills.

  My momma found some nigga she called the love of her life in New York seven months ago and decided she was going to move there with him. What she neglected to tell me until the last minute was that she was behind in the fucking rent and bills. The only thing that mattered to her though was her happiness. She figured since I was stripping that I had it and it was nothing for me to handle so she left me to fend for myself. It was what it was.

  I was grown and it was time for her to live her life. But at twenty-two, I wasn’t sure if living on my own was all that it was cracked up to be. Yeah, that shit sounded like a good idea after high school, but acting school didn’t turn out to be the glamorous shit that I thought it would be. I slowly fell into the underworld of modeling but that was slow and work was few and far between. So here I was. Rubbing on my tits as I slid down into a split popping my ass cheeks one after the other to get these niggas hyped and throwing more cash.

  “Shake that shit bitch,” a nigga yelled from side of the stage.

  The lights flickered all in my face as another two girls walked out onto the stage setting up to light each other’s booty cheeks on fire. I hated when Gee had too many chicks on the stage at one time. Them hoes made more money then me because they were willing to do that dike shit and I wasn’t. I don’t see what made their asses so special for that shit.

  My ass was so fat a nigga would’ve thought I had injections. My 32D tits were nice and perky. I had no stretch marks ‘cause I didn’t have twelve kids like most of them and my long waist length hair was real since I was biracial, black and Mexican. My waist was slimmer ‘cause I stayed in the gym and ate healthy as fuck and at 5’9” I had legs for days. My eyes were slanted and my skin was a smooth caramel complexion, a result of my mother being dark skinned. I didn’t know much about the sperm donor who didn’t bother to stick around and raise me aside from his nationality.

  “Twerk harder bitch,” the nigga called out again.

  “Man, what the fuck is wrong with you nigga? You thirsty or something?” I yelled back standing up from knees.

  “Ah bitch go sit your tired ass down somewhere.” He waved me off.

  “Naw, motherfucka you need to learn how to respect females up in here or get the fuck out. You see we working over here and you steady yelling bullshit,” I snapped.

  “Bitch, shut the fuck up before I put my dick in your mouth.”

  “Come do it nigga so I can bite that shit off and have your ass on the freeway searching for your shit bitch,” I yelled back as a few girls came to hold me back from jumping off the stage into the crowd on this nigga.

  They held my arms until I made it backstage, pointing at me telling me how I fucked up. I waved their asses off not trying to here that bullshit. Them hoes weren’t my mommas and they didn’t pay none of my fucking bills. My heels clicked on the cheap tiled floor heading down the stairs into the dressing room to recuperate and calm my nerves. I snatched a pack of Newport 100’s from one of the girl’s purse that was sitting out on the vanity. I didn’t give a fuck whose it was. Bitches knew better than to leave their shit out or else it was fair game. As soon as I sparked it up, the door flew open with the quickness.

  “Damita, I’m sick of your shit now. This is it. I ain’t having this shit no more. I don’t give a fuck how long you’ve been here. You’ve gotta go and you’ve gotta go now,” Gee came busting in folding his thin frail arms around one another.

  “Gee, if you don’t get your wannabe gangsta Asian ass out of here. I ain’t got time for your bullshit tonight. I’m not in the damn mood.” My hand flicked the ashes from my cigarette towards his as I copped a squat on the bench in the middle of the room.

  Rob came strolling through the door behind Gee hovering over him, casting a dark 5’9” shade over Gee’s 5” frame. He crossed his arms as well mimicking his boss as they stood there looking like a pair of oddly paired super hero rejects. Rob’s dark skin matched his black attire almost perfectly. His balding head alluded to his middle age along with his protruding beer belly. He had more of a sumo wrestler than he did a strip club bouncer physique.

  And, Gee’s frail ass. I had no idea what possessed an Asian immigrant to want to head up a strip club named after his self in the heart of Atlanta. He was close to thirty and was the biggest pervert in the club, only hiring big booty black girls as employees and big-breasted white women. He was a young Mr. Miyagi and even with the solemn look on his face he looked as if he would break out into a karate stance. Fuck them both.

  “I don’t give a fuck what mood you’re in, Damita. I’m tired of you starting shit in my business. You’re out of here on your ass. I told you last time when you shoved that woman’s face into the glass mirror,” Rob interjected.

  “Yeah, well she deserved it. You saw the bitch put her fingers in between my legs and you didn’t even say shit.” I hit my cigarette hard.

  “I didn’t see shit, Damita.” Rob shook his head at me.

  “I’m sure you didn’t motherfucka. So why’s your dick getting hard right now just thinking about it?” I pointed to his bulge but he was too smart for that one, curling his lips up at me as he squinted his eyes. It was a nice try though. He saw the shit but he was just as much as a pervert as Gee was. I would’ve been shocked if he admitted to the shit myself.

  “Get your shit, Damita. You’re out on your ass tonight.” Gee pointed to the dressing room door.

  “Where the fuck am I supposed to go? I’ve been working here three whole years and you’re just gonna do me like that?” The job wasn’t much and I didn’t make as much as some but it did pay the bills, so needless to say I was hurt. “This raggedy motherfucka ain’t shit. Y’all don’t clean up in here and it stinks. The walls are old and cracking, the carpet is infested, and it’s all kinds of bugs in this motherfucka Gee. But I dealt with this shit for as long as I did being loyal to you and this is how you gonna do me?”

  “If it’s that bad in here then what are you griping about?” Gee smirked before turning to leave the room.

  Rob
signaled to his watch his finger indicating that I was on a time limit to get my shit and get the fuck up out of there before turning to leave as well.

  “Argh,” I screamed launching the cigarette at the closing door. “Fuck all of y’all in this motherfucka. I hope y’all all get Aids in this motherfucka.”

  Opening my locker and removing my knockoff Louis duffle bag, I began stuffing it with the clothes and personal care items I kept locked away in there. The only thing that plagued my mind was how much money I had in the bank before I was going to go broke. There was only about $1500.

  Most of my money was tied up in paying off momma’s debt owed to the rental office since we were in arrears seven months when she decided to go live with her so-called soul mate in another state. I had been able to catch up but I needed another month to be completely done with the debt. With a $1000 for a two bedroom in Stone Mountain, $1000 still left to be owed and now jobless, I was pretty much fucked.

  After slipping on my skinny jeans, Old Navy sweater and slamming the locker door, I snatched up my bag from the bench and headed for the door but not before stealing another one of those cigarettes sitting in the damn purse on the counter. I marched past the stage and the DJ’s booth. Anger spread across my face faster than water washing up on a beach as I mean mugged Gee and Rob on my way on the door. They looked as if they weren’t remorseful or shit to see me go. Fuck ‘em. I didn’t need them and they for sure weren’t going to get anymore free feels off of this ass ever again.

  In my 1995 Toyota Tercel, I fired up the square and took a long drag before beating the shit out of the steering wheel a few times. I pissed like shit that I was that close to winning. I was that close to getting my life back on track and out of debt and this shit would happen. It was like I couldn’t win for losing. Somebody in heaven didn’t want me to come up for shit. I was always struggling. All my momma knew was struggling and now here I was doing the same thing. The only difference is that I didn’t have a kid dangling in my failure. Thank God.

  My foot stomped on the gas a few times before turning the key in the ignition but the there was nothing in the air but silence. The fucking car wouldn’t start yet again. Gee had given me this car two years ago to help me get to work on time. I should’ve told him to shove this motherfucka up his ass for the amount of shit that I had to go through to keep it running. It sputtered like shit and smoked every time I stepped on the gas.

  Rather than fuck with the car and allow it to piss me off even further, I just got out slamming the driver’s side door so hard that the door shattered. The cool night air brushed a chill up against my skin that I wasn’t prepared for. I had only lived up the road from Gee’s but it was quite the walk especially at night. Instead I opted to wait on the slow ass Marta bus that should have been coming per the schedule I pulled up on my IPhone. It was 11:15pm, which meant I would be in for a long twenty minute wait.

  My ragged heels clip-clopped on the cement as I made my way to the bus stop. Staring down into my phone’s screen fiddling with The Sims app, I tried to think of someone I could call to keep me company while I waited. My thoughts drew a blank. All the niggas I had fucked with usually ended up being one night stands and all of my friends were at work stripping.

  The brisk air did nothing but heighten my sense of loneliness. My body shivered a bit as I stood waiting on the slow as bus to make its debut and pick me up. The fog looming over the streetlights in the distance gave an ominous feel and in the distance I could see the two bright lights of the damn bus, finally. It approached me pulling just in front of me spreading its doors apart as I stepped on and paid. I didn’t even bother to make conversation with the irritated looking driver though his blue eyes pierced my soul as if I was the one who slept with him last night. I took a seat right in the front realizing there was absolutely no one on the bus. It was completely dead.

  Twenty minutes later I requested the stop right in front of my building. I was thankful to finally be home feeling as though I would never get there with how slow he was driving. I exited the bus then turned to see that the driver’s disposition didn’t change one bit. Shaking my head, I headed towards the apartment complex noticing the parking lot filled to the max with cars. Someone must have been having a party in one of the buildings since not that many people that lived here had cars. But I heard no music.

  Still wrapped up in the game on my phone, I crossed the parking lot headed for the stairs to my apartment. At the other end of the parking stood a black clad figure and he appeared to be coming towards me on the other side of the crosswalk. I edged closer to the side of the building ducking as I took flight up the stairs heading down the hall to my apartment door. I sensed the footsteps behind me, turning to notice a black clad woman with a grocery cart making her way to the apartment on the adjacent side of the building.

  Clenching my chest in relief, I pressed myself up against the wall, fumbling with my keys to unlock the front door. As it turned out, I didn’t have to, it was already unlocked. I could hardly hear my own feet as I entered the apartment pushing the door open with caution. There was a ringing in my ears, a kind of strange frequency, like my own voice screaming, though I was silent. My eyes searched left and right as I crept inside for any sign of life in the room.

  “Katie? Are you home?” I called to my neighbor who I gave a set of keys to for the times that I came home drunk and was unable to find my set, which was usually often.

  But Katie would use the keys to get a few quiet minutes away from her screaming set of colicky twins and her video game lost husband. But when I called her name there was no answer. I raced into the living room, then the kitchen. In the center of the kitchen table sat a single white rose. Hand trembling worse than my ass at the club, I reached for it slowly, as if it might all of a sudden sprout teeth and bite my fucking hand off. The tiny note attached read:

  See you soon. —A

  My body spun in a circle as if I was on some sort of carnival ride. The college style décor I had changed from my mother’s old school feel to Sanford & Sons posters, beanbag chairs, TV tables—swam like an aquarium in front of my eyes. The floor over by the door creaked forcing me to nearly jump up out of my skin into the air. I glanced around me wildly, pulling my hair up into a tight pony with the hair tie squeezing the shit out of my wrist.

  No matter how much thought I put into it, there was no escape from this second floor apartment but the front door. I would have to fight my way to it if I wanted to live. I felt myself shrink as if my short ass couldn’t get no smaller but hoping that maybe I could turn invisible if I willed it strongly enough. But realistically, charging for the front door was my only hope. The footsteps lurched closer.

  “Damita?”

  “Stay back!” I wasn’t thinking clearly and my thoughts immediately shifted to my weapon hiding places, thinking of which ones I could get to first.

  “Damita, what’s wrong?”

  I sank down in the couch, heart still hammering, though the rush of pure adrenaline had slowed. “Thank God, Katie it’s you.”

  Katie tossed her keys on the table and threw back the hood of her sweatshirt, revealing her curly mane of blonde hair. She flopped down on the couch next to me with concern swirling in her true green eyes. Without hesitation, my mood transformed from terror to overwhelming emotion. Tears escaped my eyes running effortlessly down my cheeks. My hands shook crazily as I wiped the tears from my face with the back of my sweater sleeve. Katie excused herself disappearing into the bathroom and returned with a wad of tissue from the roll.

  I reached for it dully and dabbed my eye, staring at nothing. I had read somewhere that too much adrenaline, too often, could actually kill you. I was starting to wonder what threshold this was. Too many times I had been in this predicament and it seemed like the situation was doing nothing but getting worse. It was escalating to some shit that had gotten so out of hand, I had no idea what the hell to do.

  “Did you see him?” She finally asked.

  �
�No, I just got here,” I replied. “I had to catch the fucking bus home because my car wouldn’t start again.”

  “Girl, I told you to junk that damn car a long time ago.” Katie shook her head as she rubbed mine.

  Silently, I pointed to the rose sitting on the table, afraid to even look in it’s direction. Katie looked at it with confusion before I explained that I found it when I got home. I cried harder when I told her that all of the lights were on and the door was unlocked sitting slightly open as if the person who entered wanted me to know that they had been inside.

  “How the fuck did he—?” Katie began, removing a cigarette from the pack that she had tucked away in her jogging pants pocket. “I know I locked the door when I left earlier. Double bolted it. I always do. I wouldn’t lie to you babes.”

  “I know you did, Katie. I don’t know how he got in. He can probably get into anywhere,” I sighed. “I’ve gotta get the fuck out of here. I can’t stay here anymore and keep going through this.”

  “You mean he’s done this before?”

  I nodded.

  “He can’t do this shit to you, babes,” Katie demanded, leaping up from the couch. “It’s breaking and entering and it’s against the damn law, chick. Damita, you have to call the fucking cops on his ass.”

  “I can’t,” I said solemnly, shaking my head as I stared at the black TV screen, which had been blank ever since I had to choose between paying the cable bill and paying the gas bill.

  “Okay now see, you’re not making a lick of sense babes. Now give me one good reason why you can’t call the police on this bastard and it better not be anything about love or I’m gonna pop you myself. So, why not? Huh? Why can’t you call the cops on this son of a bitch?”

  “Because…he is the fucking cops.”

  Chapter 3

  The Next Morning

  Sunset