by Nicety
“Cum on this fucking dick,” he ordered.
I bounced back on his dick, something I had never done, urging the cum to come out and splatter all over him. With ease my pussy opened up giving him access to all of me. My head leaned up prompting him to grab a nice chunk of my hair in his hands, continuing to bang inside of me. It was the ultimate pleasure and as I came, he came too. This time he busted all inside of me making sure to go deeper than he had ever gone before.
J. lied his head down on my back breathing heavily. I leaned back giving his head a nice rub to let him know that I appreciated him stopping in to give me that little pick me up. I was feeling crazy inside about us and him coming by for this today really helped me get those negative thoughts out of my head, at least for the day.
“Damn baby. What was this about?” I asked as he backed out of me, fixing his clothes against his body.
“Man, something went down at one of the residential spots today, baby. There were dead bodies everywhere. Two apartments got shot up with babies and everything. The shit was something out of an old gangsta movie or some shit.” Jeremiah rubbed the stress in his head profusely.
“Oh my gosh baby. Are you all right? What the hell happened? Who did it?” I approached him rubbing his cheek with the back of one hand tenderly noticing him cringe.
“Yeah, I’m cool. I don’t know. I didn’t even know they were doing illegal shit in the fucking building. They kept that shit wrapped tight. But the damn police found twelve keys of coke in the apartments and the women were all naked like they were in there cooking and bagging the shit up. It was a got-damn trap house and I didn’t even know it,” Jeremiah snapped. “These motherfuckas were selling dope outta my shit and now the police want to investigate me and shit.”
“Okay, first of all, calm down. It’s probably just procedure since you and Myking are the landlords. It’s nothing personal against you baby and since you have nothing to hide then you have nothing to worry about.” I rubbed his forehead soothingly before he batted my hand away, pacing the floor. “Okay what the fuck was that?”
“What?” J. had that stupid ass stunned look on his face again. I hated when he stared at me like an alert dog with his ears up trying to figure out what I was talking about.
“What. Don’t what me like you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. You just pushed me away again, like you used to do before when your feelings were all wrapped up into that other bitch.” My lips pouted as my arms folded in front of my body.
“Awe man, don’t start this shit with me today. I just came here to tell you the police was fucking up my business, my money and here you go turning this shit around on me talking about some bitch. This shit ain’t about some bitch that don’t even matter. This shit is about me. You can’t even get out of your feelings for one second not to nag in my fucking ear all got-damn day about other stupid shit,” he huffed.
“Jeremiah, I was just trying to console you but you acted like you didn’t even want that. You’re so self absorbed that you’re not even paying attention to the shit that I do for you. You want me to be your momma, your pastor, your accountant, and your freak all in one but what the fuck have you even done to deserve all of that?”
“B., I ain’t come here for this shit. You wanna act like a bitch then I’m gonna treat you like one,” he snapped attempting to storm past me but felt the strong arm of my hands as I pushed him backwards.
“Hold the fuck up. Why did you even come here if this was all you were gonna do?” I asked looking confused.
“I thought you were gonna hug me and give me some damn advice but I see you’ve got your ass on your shoulders today. So I’m just gonna leave you alone so you can think about what you’ve done.” Jeremiah marched past me towards the door. “Maybe next time you’ll think twice before you piss me off.”
“What? Piss you off? What the fuck are you talking about, J.? You’re not even making sense. J. J.,” I called after but he was already half way down the hall.
He had been tripping lately, only wanting me to fuck him, cook for him, and shut the fuck up. Every time I voiced my opinion on something he shut me up and every time I tried to be affectionate with him he laughed at me or ignore it. The man was ripping me apart piece by piece emotionally. I knew exactly the reason too. There was no denying it.
Jeremiah was spending way too much time with his babies’ momma and those damn kids. He was forgetting all about the love we shared and the beautiful past we had together. I guess it’s true when they say out with the old and in with the new. I was unable to give him what he wanted, a family. It’s probably the reason why he hadn’t proposed to me either. All the promises he made that would and as long as we’ve been together and everything that we’ve been through, he still hasn’t popped the question. The more I thought about what could be, the more my heart shattered into pieces.
Tears escaped my eyes dripping down onto my shirt. They drew lines through my foundation making my sadness easily seen. I stared in the mirror crying silently so as not to alert the girls to my breakdown. But as I stared into the glass at the woman staring back at me, all I wanted to do was punch her in the fucking face for being so damn weak. Why couldn’t I let him go?
“Boss lady? You okay in there?” April banged on the door like she was the fucking police jolting me up out of my daze.
“Uh, yes. Yes, I’m fine. I’ll be out in a minute,” I responded, wishing I could shut the shop down early then go home and get in the bed under the covers and hide all day.
Was it too much for me to ask for a him to just do better with our relationship? I just wanted him to do a better job at being committed and loving me. I could even overlook the kids since they are here already. There’s nothing I can do about them. But if he would at least pretend to not give a shit about her then it would make me feel a little bit better about staying with him.
An overwhelming sense of grief overcame me as I lowered my head into both of my hands crying my eyes out. It was all I could do, all that I had ever done in the past few years. He would never let me go and I would probably never leave him. I just wished he would do better.
Chapter 9
Eight PM That Evening
Damita
Having taken my number earlier, Sunset had been texting me like crazy ever since she left. I didn’t mind because it allowed us to catch up on everything that we had been missing in each other’s lives. It was like we never skipped a beat, falling right back into our close friendship. Honestly, I think she was only trying to make sure that I didn’t renig on going out with her tonight. She kept running off at the mouth about the grand opening of some new club tonight. Still unable to get into the mood, I dragged myself to the bathroom to straighten the shit out of my hair.
“Hmm, where are you going tonight with your face all beat and shit?” Bianca stepped into the bathroom flicking my hair.
“Oh shit, I was just going out with a few friends to that new club opening.” Ignoring her hands all in my freshly straightened hair, I didn’t even cut my eyes her way.
“Okay so you could’ve asked me if I wanted to go though.”
“Ha. Girl for what? You know that nigga ain’t letting you go to no damn club with a bunch of niggas around,” I smirked, watching as her demeanor fell from casual to sorrowful. “Sorry B.”
“Huh? Girl bye. Don’t be sorry. It is what it is. At least I’ve got a man that care enough not to want me out there, right?”
Nodding was all I could do, pressing my lips tightly together. She was in the delusional stage of her denial. I could see it all in her face. If being in a relationship with a man was all about feeling like the 24/7, then I would gladly pass on that shit. Single forever? Maybe. But never settling for the type of bullshit she and Sunset were going through. I’m saying it wasn’t like his dick was made of gold or something. I just couldn’t see why he had them so sprung out.
“Well you can borrow something of mine to wear if you want. I don’t mind,” Bianc
a offered, stepping all the way in to check my makeup.
“Awe. Thanks cuz. But I’m good.”
“Well, who are you going out with?”
“You say what now? Who I’m going with?” Stuttering fucked up my words for some reason.
“Um, yeah. That’s what I said,” she laughed wondering why I repeated her.
“I’m going with…well I’m only going with one person and then we’re probably just gonna meet some other people there. You know how it goes.” I played the shit off.
“Right, but you still ain’t said who you’re going with though.”
There was no time for my armpits to be getting all sweaty when I haven’t even put on my damn dress yet. I couldn’t be getting all funky and shit before I made it to the club to dance and shit. It was fifty million questions that were throwing me off though. She didn’t want to know the truth but honestly lying wasn’t something that I felt like doing. I wasn’t about to hide my friendship with Sunset and besides, I had never lied to Bianca about much before aside from what was going on with me in my personal life.
“Sunset. I’m going out with her tonight.” My lips pressed together again.
“Wait a minute? Sunset Cruise, your old friend?”
“Yeah, B. She told me what’s going on between you and her. So don’t trip, I already know.”
“And, you’re still friends with this bitch? Naw, Damita that shit is foul as hell. How the fuck you gonna consort with the fucking enemy, D? That bitch is fucking my man and got kids by him. You’re my blood. You’re supposed to side with me,” Bianca went off.
“See, I knew you were gonna do that shit and that’s one reason why I didn’t want to tell you. I don’t wanna feel like I’m in the middle of that shit taking sides and shit. She’s been there for me in the past when a lot of people weren’t,” I sighed shaking my head. “I don’t wanna get into that shit, B. That’s between you and her. For real.”
“No it’s not, ‘cause now she’s involved you in the middle of the shit. How the fuck did y’all get back up with each other anyway?” Tiny crinkles were forming in her forehead.
“Look, all that is irrelevant. Just know that we’re friends again and that’s it. I’m not getting in that shit y’all got going on B. That’s it.”
“Well maybe you should’ve packed your shit up and went to go live with her bum ass then.” Bianca stormed out of the bathroom, down the hall and into her room slamming the door.
I knew she was heated but she would get over it. I wasn’t leaving and she would just have to deal with the fact that I was friends with the bitch her man had kids on her with. That shit didn’t have anything to do with me though. Maybe once she calmed down she would get that through her head.
After finishing up in the bathroom, I slid on my deep purple bandage dress and some old black stilettos. They were clean and not busted so it was all good in my book. Maybe if I threw this ass back on the right nigga he would buy me some new shit. I snatched up my purse and cell and then headed to the front door running into Jeremiah coming in as I was leaving out.
“Damn girl. Where the hell you going dressed like that?” He asked searching my body.
“Out,” I curled my lips up and rolled my eyes as I passed him closing the door behind me.
****
The line was long as fuck outside the club. Already the music was bumping hard but they weren’t letting anyone in just yet. We had been standing in the line for almost forty-five minutes and I was beginning to catch a chill from the night air. Balloons sat on opposite sides of the grand opening sign hovering over the name of the club, Taste.
“Bitch they need to let us in soon. I didn’t bring my jacket forgetting how cold Chicago can get at night.” Shivering afflicted my words.
“Girl, you’ve been in Atlanta too long. Sixty degrees is perfect weather in Chicago. We be praying for shit like this.” Sunset refreshed her lipstick in her beauty mirror.
“I guess.”
“Listen, if we get separated, we’ll text each other so that we can know what’s going on. I’m not gonna leave you and you don’t leave me unless we’ve connected on the shit. Deal?” Sunset spat as she waved to some of her friends in the distance.
“Yeah, I hear you. Shit, I ain’t trying to leave with nobody but you anyway. You’re my fucking ride home.”
“Hmm, you might have a change of heart when you get a few drinks in you and feel some dick grinding on you on that dance floor.” Sunset rolled her hips to the instrumental music playing in the club.
“Girl and you shouldn’t want to be going home with no random nigga since you got a so-called man at home.” My eyes rolled to the back of my head, returning just in time to see her lips poked out making a duck face.
“Yeah he’s at home. But not my home, though.” Her expression got real serious as the line slowly began to move with people finally filing inside.
It was about fucking time. I couldn’t stand in that breeze any longer. My skin had to get back used to the Chicago weather. The tall ass buildings of the downtown area didn’t help none either. But I was glad to finally be going inside. My eyes cut to everyone near the door as they shuffled in one by one trying not to push each other, while the bouncers at the door checked ID’s.
People were holding up the line, searching their pockets and purses for their ID’s like they didn’t know they needed one to get inside or something. They were full of shit and were wasting the valuable time of the people who knew how to follow directions. I reached inside my purse pulling mine out so that I could be ready to slide on in with no problem.
When I brought my head back up, my eyes focused on the darkness in the distance a few buildings past the club. The streetlights were dim it seemed, when they should have been bright as fuck at night. I never wore glasses before but I had to squint in order to see if I was imagining shit, maybe my eyes were deceiving me. My heart began to pump uncontrollably even though my breathing was normal. I ducked and dodged around heads trying to get a good visual of image down the street but it was sill difficult.
“Aye, Sunset. Do you see that shit?”
“See what? That we’re almost to the damn door? Yeah I see that. Come on’,” She pulled my arm agitated at the folks lightly pushing behind her.
“Naw, I’m talking about that. Down there,” I pointed. “That dark figure. It looks like a man standing there staring at us right?”
Sunset bobbed her head around trying to catch a glimpse of what I was talking about. She placed her hand over her eyes to shield the lights form her eyes as well before sucking her teeth and waving her hand at me.
“Damita, you’re trippin’ alright. I’m trying to get in this club so I can get drunk as fuck. Stop trying to not have fun. You’re out. We’re not here to worry about no damn niggas.”
I heard her but I couldn’t stop focusing on the figure standing down the street. The closer we got the more I was certain there was actually someone down there. How could this chick not see the shit? I don’t know but he was there and it seemed as if he was waving at me, taunting me, wanting me to know that he had found me and he would eventually get me. If I didn’t have control over my bowels, I would’ve shitted on myself right then and there.
I turned, raising my hand to show the bouncer my ID. He nodded his head allowing me access into the club. One last time, I turned down the street to see if the dark figure was still standing down there but he was gone. I had no idea if he had gone in the club or if I had plum imagined the shit. All that I knew was that I couldn’t put it past him. If he wanted to find me, he probably could.
He had access to all sorts of shit and there was no telling what kind of connects he had. I thought I might have been careful when I took every bit of public transportation I could to get here, even paying cash as I traveled. But where there was a will, there was definitely a way. I just hoped that by the time he did find me, I would be ready for him. Just not tonight. Not tonight at this club.
Chapter 10
Two Hours Later
Sunset
…No, I ain’t tryna flex, no ceilings you can see who’s in it
If we’re talking about sex, girl, you know that I invented that
And I’m onto the next, that’s unless you bring a friend who with it
Oh, I’m sorry, oh, you mad that I came to the party?
Like, no no no
You took your girl to the club and now she gone, gone, gone
Now she asking me when I’m taking her home, home, home
I tell her “let’s go” long as you know
Cause I know when we get alone
I’m touchin’ you tonight, I’m lovin’ you tonight (Wait nope)
I’m fuckin’ you, girl, you must be used to spendin’, putting in that time
Touchin’, lovin’, fuckin’, can’t make up my mind
I’m lovin’ you. (Wait nope) I’m fuckin’ you tonight…
That Trigga was giving me life on the dance floor. Damita and I had found some niggas to bump up against quick. Of course, with our beauty it wouldn’t have taken long. Thank God for bandage dresses or else my shit would have been up around my waist fucking with this thirsty ass nigga. I looked over at Damita giving her the eye to branch off from these niggas and as soon as the song broke out, so did we. We headed over towards the bar leaning and laughing on it like we were back in high school again, the good old days.
“Did you see that nigga drooling over my ass?” Damita cackled slapping her hand on the bar.
“Girl yes he was all like ‘I wanna put my head in between your legs’ type of shit,” I scoffed. “Can I get two Pink Panties please?”
After ordering the drinks, I turned to Damita to cackle in her ear more about the dudes we were just dancing with but someone on the other side of her had already caught her attention. She had great taste in men. Dude’s profile was so fucking gorgeous with his dreads looking West Indian or some shit. Then he turned his attention in my direction. From the looks of him, he looked like Jeremiah’s business partner.