After Everything I've Done For You: A Chi-Town Soap Opera

by Nicety

  “Thank you so much for a great evening, Cesar. I really enjoyed myself,” I stated, placing my hand on his as he took the deepest breath ever.

  “Maybe next time we’ll just bring the kids and make it a sort of family thing. What do you say?” Cesar’s smile sparkled when he looked at me.

  “I think that’s a great idea.” I returned the smile back to him before he leaned in pressing his lips gently against mine.

  “I knew it! I knew it! I knew your ass wasn’t no good.”

  “What the fuck?” My attention was bolted away from Cesar.

  “It sounds like someone is up there fighting.” Cesar nudged his chin in the direction of my building.

  We exited the car jetting through the rain towards the building. We skipped, heading up the stairs and down the hallway. There was a feeling in the pit of my stomach telling me that it had something to do with my apartment. Once we turned the corner, my suspicions were confirmed. My apartment door was wide open and it was dark inside with only the lights flickering on and off from the TV.

  “Come behind me,” Cesar murmured, snatching my hand in his and stepping in front of me.

  Silence filled the living room as we stepped in trying to figure out where everyone was. Daggers felt like they were slowly piercing my heart with every moment I questioned the whereabouts of my kids. My thoughts slowly shifted towards a robbery, a break in that went horribly wrong. There was no sign of anyone. I flicked the light, lighting up the entire room so we could see around us better.

  “Get your shit and get the fuck up out of my baby’s house.” My momma came storming out the back area with my kids, one on each arm.

  “Momma, what the fuck is going on?” I asked hysterically.

  “Girl, let me tell you. I caught this motherfucka and this bitch in your bed fucking when I got here. I snapped the fuck out and told both of them sorry sap suckers to get their shit and get the fuck out.” My momma flailed her hands partially in the air. “I can’t believe this bitch would do this to you after you gave her a place to stay and everything.”

  “Where is he?” I asked searching my damn apartment.

  “Oh he’s gone. Yeah he jetted out of here and down the hall. I’m surprised you didn’t seem him when you came up. Mmhmm, must’ve went down the other hall. Fucking coward.” Momma sat the kids down in the playpen next to the couch, her face twisted up. “But that bitch though…oh she’s in there.”

  “Um, maybe I should leave you to this. Call me, okay?” Cesar said as he prepared to hug me good night.

  “I’m leaving,” Damita came from the back with the one duffle bag she had brought here.

  It was hard for me to choose which person I should address first. My anger was leaning more towards Damita but Cesar commanded my attention if I ever wanted to see him again. Fighting her in front of him would only ensure that I never would, especially if I got my ass whooped. It took everything in me to remain calm and deal with this shit in a subtle manner. Enough commotion had already taken place. I wasn’t about to jeopardize any future happiness all because of this bullshit.

  “Thank you for everything, Cesar. I will call you tomorrow.” Leaning in for his embrace, I never took my eyes off of her.

  I watched as he walked his fine ass out of my apartment wondering why I couldn’t seem to have a perfect night with this man for shit. Then I turned to that bitch reaching back then slapped the fuck out of her. My momma stepped in once she raised her hand, ready to fire back. She shook her hand in her face.

  “Uh un. No you won’t not up in here bitch. You deserved that smack. I think you should just take that shit as your punishment and get your slut bucket ass on up outta here.” My momma was a no nonsense kind of woman. Godly, but she didn’t play when it came down to it.

  Damita looked back at me and smiled. I didn’t know what I had done to her to deserve what she had done to me but I guess it was all in good reason. It was karma coming back to bite me in the ass. I had done it to Bianca and Damita had just returned the favor. It made me wonder if that was that bitch’s ammo the entire time, revenge for her raggedy ass cousin.

  I didn’t know what the motive was and I no longer gave a damn. Both of those hoes were out of my life and so was my fucked up ass baby’s daddy. The next time he would see my motherfucking kids would be in court ordered visitation once I received my got-damn child support. Bet he never thought I would ever hit him where it hurts.

  “I think I saw her hop her hot ass in his car too,” my momma said peeking out of the vertical blinds.

  “Momma,” I shrieked. “Get out the window and watch the kids for me. I’ll be back. I’ve got some business to handle really quickly.”

  Chapter 19

  Twenty Minutes Later Across Town

  Bianca

  “Hey B. I know I’m the last person you’re trying to see right now but I just needed to talk to you.” Jeremiah was drenched in the pouring rain.

  “Um, sure yeah. What do you want to talk about?” I asked folding my arms.

  “Damn, eh, can I come in?” There were his puppy dog eyes again.

  “Ugh, come on.” I waved my hand from him to enter as I stepped to the side. “Okay, I’m listening. What’s this about?”

  Jeremiah reached his hands around my waist pulling me in to him before I could blink, kissing me roughly. I tried everything I could to push him away but he was much more stronger than I was. He was soaked worse than water itself and yet he pressed his wet clothes against mine without a care. I couldn’t even focus on that though because he was pressing my head against his forcing me to remain kissing him.

  “Stop it, Jeremiah,” I mustered. “Stop.”

  His face turned slightly to the left as I slapped the shit out of his cheek. Jeremiah’s eyes closed before lowering his head to the floor and dropping down to his knees. I stepped back trying to figure out if he was going to jump on me in retaliation but I wasn’t afraid at all. I was waiting for his ass to get froggish, thinking he wanted to leap and hit me. I was praying on it actually. It would’ve made what I had to tell him all that much more easier.

  “I can’t live without you baby. I need you in my life. I fucked up. I know it. But I need you dammit,” Jeremiah pleaded gesturing aimlessly with his hands.

  “What?” I searched his face for a drop of tears but it was difficult to see with the water already scattered across his face. “Jeremiah, I—“

  “No, I won’t take no for an answer,” he bounced up to his feet moving closer and closer to me as I backed away. “We’ve been through too much shit for us to just throw this all away now. We have to work this shit out, you and me.”

  “You fucked up you and me when you and me became three. I was a good woman to you and you broke us, J.” Refusing to let tears fall from my eyes or focus on the fact that he still looked damn good soaking wet that he did when he was dry, I continued. “You did this to us and ain’t a damn thing you can do to fix it now. It’s over. We’re over.”

  No sooner than the words left my lips, did I feel a bit of regret. It was that faint hope that we could still be together, that we still had a fighting chance to work this out and maybe that he could change. I wanted to believe him. The pain dripping down his wet face, touched me in a way that made me want to jump into his arms and tell him I didn’t mean what I said. But just as that devil was on my shoulder telling me to take him back, there was an angel on the other shoulder whispering that if I had done so I would lose the greatest feeling in the world, Myking.

  “I refuse to believe that you don’t love me anymore.” Jeremiah approached me and as I backed up to the front door, there was nowhere else for me run. “Tell me you don’t love me baby and I’ll leave here and never come back.”

  “Jeremiah,” I breathed.

  “Naw, tell me you don’t want me. Tell me you don’t love me and that you don’t miss me and I'll walk right out of that door and out of your life for good,” Jeremiah panted maneuvering his head around mine becoming alluri
ngly closer to my skin with ever word. The feel of his breath on my flesh made the tiny hairs stand up and my pulse skyrocket. “Just tell me, B. Why you can’t tell me?”

  “J., you’ve gotta stop this shit. I can’t…I just can’t—“ I fidgeted.

  “Can’t what? Tell me to leave? That’s ‘cause you don’t really want me to go baby. You know I’m in here,” he affirmed pointing to my heart. “I’ve got all this. Where’s it going, B.? Nowhere. It’s all mine.”

  My breathing shortened. I didn’t know if I would pass out or kiss him and risk it all. I was on the fence like a motherfucka but I didn’t want to come down. Men did the shit for years. Why couldn’t I have my cake and eat it to? I wanted the best of both worlds in both of these men but fate would force me to choose only one. One who broke my heart repeatedly and one who vowed to mend it back together piece by jagged piece. Sweat droplets formed like mountains on my forehead. I fixed my lips to speak or throw up. I couldn’t decide which, when…

  “What’s up dog?” Myking emerged from the back room fully clothed, startling the shit out of me and forcing my heart to join the Indy 500 race.

  “Awe shit. What’s good my nigga? I didn’t know you were here.” Jeremiah cut his eyes and a sly grin to me quickly before heading over to shake up with Myking like nothing had changed.

  Myking never took his eye off me though. It wasn’t my fault that Jeremiah was all up on me. I told him to move but it would be too much like right if he ever listened to anything I had said. The room grew quiet as the doorbell rang. Everyone turned their attention towards the door as I looked out the window to check who it was then opened it. Regardless of the distraction, I was damn glad to have one.

  “What grave did you crawl out from under?” I asked as a soaked Damita stepped through the door looking crazed.

  “Sorry, Bianca. I just um…”

  “Well, spit it out.” I said already knowing what she needed. “Let me guess. You need a place to stay and you want to stay here again right? Is that it?”

  She looked up at me with sorrowful eyes then dropped them to the floor. I knew eventually once her well ran dry where she was that she would come crawling back. Apart of me wanted to let her back in, tell her that everything was okay and that she needed to let me help her.

  I wanted to let her know that it was blood before anything and show her how it was done since she didn’t know the meaning of that. She was young and needed guidance and as I gazed back at Myking and Jeremiah, I realized that was just me thinking of other people’s feelings again and not my own.

  “Damita, I’ll give you a couple hundred bucks to get you a room somewhere for a few nights, but you’ve gotta get up off your ass and actually find another job to stand on your own. I can’t deal with you and your shit right now.” Truth was, looking at her only refueled the anger I had inside for her choosing the enemy over me.

  “Naw, that’s not what I was gonna ask you. I actually wanted to ask you for some help on something else but you know what? I think I’m just gonna go ahead and follow my first mind and leave town for a little while.” The look in her eye read of devastation from my words and then of acceptance.

  “You leaving again? Hell you ain’t even been here that long. Okay, well do what you do.” I waved my hands in the air, knowing that whatever her reason for leaving was it had something to do with that bogus ass cop coming to my doorstep looking for her and I was sure she knew it.

  “Can I just get someone to drive me to the bus station please? I’ll be out of all of y’all’s hair then.” Her eyes shot up to see who would volunteer first.

  I acted as if I hadn’t even heard her. The men were standing around like they didn’t know what the fuck to do. Myking had better not offer to drive her anywhere or else I was going to kill his ass. Then again, I didn’t want Jeremiah to drive her either. On the way, he might trip, fall, and accidentally slide into her eagerly awaiting pussy. Needless to say that I was torn.

  “Aye, I got you man. It’s raining like shit out there. I ain’t gonna let you be out there like that,” Jeremiah headed for the door, placing his hand on her shoulder to escort her to his car.

  My heart and face dropped at the same time unaware that I was being watched at the same time. When the door shut, I turned looking back at Myking noticing the menacing look on his face. He didn’t speak a single word. All he did was turn heading in the room and returning with his keys in hand.

  “Wait, where are you going?” I asked stepping in front of him.

  “I’m leaving, Bianca. When you figure who or what is more important to you then you hit me up.” Myking batted my hand away to get around me.

  “Wait, but I did. I chose you. Can’t you see that?”

  “Move B.”

  “No Myking. You can’t leave me like this. We should talk this out. This is not how we should be starting out our relationship with miscommunication.” I pressed my hand to his chest again.

  “Ain’t no miscommunication shit,” Myking roared almost as loud as the thunder outside. “You playing and I’m not for none of that shit.”

  “Myking—“

  “What fuck man? You think I’m that stupid that I can’t see you still in this nigga’s face and shit? You’re still checking for this nigga, Bianca. You want him, not me.” He walked off again.

  “Myking wait. Why do you keep walking away from me? We need to talk about this,” I pleaded hoping he would listen. "Please just talk to me."

  “Don’t you get it? What don't you seem to understand? Ain’t shit to talk about. You playing mind games that I ain't got time for right now. When you want a real man in your life, you hit me up and maybe if I’m available I’ll fit you in it,” Myking growled as he shoved me gently out the way to get to the door.

  When the door slammed behind him, it startled the shit out of me causing me to jump from its impact. I stared at it wondering if he would storm back through the door and forgive me. I wanted him to give me another chance. Where I fucked up at was not telling Jeremiah right at the gate that Myking and I was together. I just didn’t know if it was smart to do that right now.

  Why didn’t I know? Jeremiah was toxic and Myking was perfect. Why was it so hard for me to accept the shit and keep the one man who loved me most? Naw, fuck that. I snatched my keys from the kitchen counter. I had to go after him and prove to him that he was the one I really wanted. But which one…was I going after? Ugh.

  Chapter 20

  Thirty Minutes Later

  Jeremiah

  The entire ride to the 95th Street Greyhound bus station was silent as hell. That shit was abnormal like a motherfucka for us when we were together. Something real had to be wrong with her. I didn’t know if I pressured her to tell me, whether she would or not. Damita was a hard exterior to break. I was sure that it could be with enough patience and delicacy but I didn’t think this was one of those times she would open up.

  Instead of pulling up directly into the station, I pulled into Abbott Park across the street from it. We were able to see all the buses pull in and out of the station easily. Damita didn’t even budge as I turned the car off and handed her a blunt that I had just finished blazing. After she hit the blunt a few times, she tried to hand it back but I refused.

  “Smoke. Go on and dome it. You look like you need the shit more than I do,” I told her waving it away. “So you gonna tell me wassup or do you want me to beg you for the shit?”

  “Ugh, there’s really nothing to tell Jeremiah. I’m just fucked up right now,” she said hitting the blunt hard as fuck.

  “Aye, slow that shit down. That’s Loud you fucking with,” I warned her. “But try me with your fucked up shit. As you can see, I’m just about as fucked up as you.”

  Damita hesitated, exhaling a deep cloud of smoke. Once it was all out, she explained to me some shit that was going on with her about some clown named Angelo stalking her and shit. She damn near cried when she spoke about how he was making her life a living hell and wherever sh
e went that nigga followed. He was the reason why she left Atlanta and was the sole reason why she was leaving Chicago too.

  “Man, that shits fucked up baby girl.” I rubbed my chin thinking of what to say next. “But you shouldn’t let this nigga run you from motherfuckas that can help you though.”

  “Naw, I don’t think anybody can help me. He’s been fucking with me so long that I don’t think he’ll ever give up.” Her head dropped, plunging her chin in her chest. "It's like it's a fucking sport for him to hunt me now."

  “But if you keep running then you’ll be running forever, Damita. You’ve gotta stay and try to fight this nigga.”

  “Whatever I do and wherever I go, he’s gonna fucking kill me regardless. Nobody can save me. All I can do is prolong the shit for as long as I can the only way I know how. By running.” She shrugged her shoulders. “He’s obsessed with me and will never give up.”

  It was fucked up. I had finally found someone I could rap to on a personal level and not feel judged or feel like I was trying to be someone I wasn’t. Damita was real. She never sugar coated shit and always made sure someone knew where she was coming from. I had never seen an ass like hers neither.

  She was built like she had gone and paid for her entire body and walked clean up out the operating room like that. But anybody could tell that it was all natural just like her personality. Just like her crazy ass stalker I wasn’t ready to let her go neither. There was simply something about her that drew me in, keeping me interested. Shit, there was nothing that I could do or say to keep her around for a little while longer it seemed.

  “Well, if it’s worth anything, a nigga is really gonna miss you and shit.” A playful punch to the shoulder let her know that I meant what I said.

  “Naw, no you won’t,” she scoffed. “That shit was cute though.”

  “What the fuck you mean? How you gonna tell me?”