by Bree Cariad
“Perfect. Let’s go make your bed and then you can meet Thomas.”
Chapter Three
Brecker’s stomach rumbled making him smile. Sounds of the kids’ laughter and dishes clanking came from the direction of the kitchen. Occasionally Rolf’s deep laugh carried out as well. Jonathon and Aiden had gone up and down the stairs a couple times and as hungry as he was, he would wait.
Jonathon strode into the living room alone, his eyes twinkling. “Thanks,” he said in a quiet tone. “Thank you for finding him and bringing him here.”
“Is he okay?” Brecker asked, glad he’d gotten the pronoun correct.
“He’ll be fine. It’s going to take some time to not be afraid. We’ve got a therapist who is trans, which will help. Right now he’s going through our intake exam with Thomas.”
“So….” Brecker rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Trans means he was born a girl and is now a boy?”
“Not quite. It’s the difference between biology and gender. Aiden is a boy. That’s his gender. That’s who he is. Only he was born into a body that doesn’t fit society’s view of what a boy looks like. Non-binary classifications call it the sex they were assigned at birth. Having a body that appears different than who he is can be rough. Bullies love to pick on them. But overall, kids are far more accepting. Adults, on the other hand, can be hostile about the concept. By far the hardest part for him to deal with is most likely his discomfort with his body. It’s called gender dysphoria. Imagine for a moment that you were born as you are—a man, but you were born into a body that doesn’t have a penis and has a vagina. It feels odd enough, especially if you aren’t sure who you are because everyone calls you a girl and yet you know deep down you’re not. And when you hit puberty and the menstrual cycle starts? Even worse. The disconnect between psyche and physical can be one of the most painful things anyone non-binary has to deal with because it’s all internal. They against themselves. Especially as youth, when they are trying to figure out who they are when their gender is one side and their body doesn’t match it. And yet they also want to fit in.” Jonathon blew out a breath and took a moment as though to compose himself. “He’s been on his own for three months. Thank you for bringing him here.”
Brecker let out a soft laugh and shook his head. Most of what Jonathon said was outside of his sphere of knowledge, but it was enough to imagine how hard things were for someone like Aiden. “I was clueless. I knew I needed to get him somewhere safe. It was my driver who caught on to there being something different about him. Told me I should bring him here. And that’s when I began to put certain things together about him.”
With a smile, Jonathon nodded. “We could use more people like you out there looking for our kids. We’ve gained two more besides Aiden over the summer, but there are so many LGBT homeless youth. It’s scary.”
“Do you have flyers around?” Brecker asked. “I’ve seen flyers for other shelters in town.”
“I’ve tried that. They tend to get taken down or pasted over within a short period of time. Several business owners refused point blank to put them up.” He sighed. “People have been taught to fear what’s different. They have no idea that we’re just like them. We’re trying to have a happy life.”
Even though he knew Jonathon was gay, it struck Brecker just how well Jonathon understood where those kids were coming from. He wondered if Jonathon had ever been in their situation and found himself wanting to protect him as well. “How are things on supplies?” he asked, his mind shying away from stuff he wasn’t ready to deal with yet.
Jonathon sat back with an expression halfway between a grin and a grimace. “We get weekly dairy which helps. Rolf had a vegetable garden over the summer which we got a few things from. We’re holding our own but we need to get more money before winter sets in. Food and clothes are our most pressing needs. The Lord will provide.”
Brecker managed not to shake his head in amusement. “Well, since He uses people to fulfill His purpose, let me help. What do you need?” He pulled out his phone and quickly brought up his note app.
For fifteen minutes, Jonathon spoke of their needs and he typed them in. When Aiden walked into the room, they stopped and looked up at him. Brecker smiled. The kid looked much better than when he’d found him hours ago, even with the bandage covered gauze on the inside of his arm, which meant he’d had to give blood. “Looking good,” he said. Aiden grinned shyly and turned to Jonathon.
“Thomas says I need some vitamins but otherwise I’m fine.”
“Perfect.” Jonathon stood up and Brecker followed his lead. “How about some lunch? Rolf has a string of vitamins in all sorts of flavors. We’ll find something you’ll enjoy.”
They walked into the kitchen where Rolf stood at the sink doing dishes. He looked over his shoulder as they approached. The moment he spotted Aiden, his eyes softened. Rolf turned off the faucet and turned around, wiping his hands off on a tea towel. “Who have we got here?” he asked in a kind voice, holding out his hand.
Aiden glanced at Jonathon who nodded in encouragement. Aiden gulped and turned back to Rolf. “I’m Aiden.”
Rolf stayed standing but somehow he made himself appear smaller, just like Gavin could. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Aiden. I’m Rolf. Welcome home.”
Shock covered Aiden’s face and then the hugest smile Brecker had ever seen crossed his face.
“Are you hungry?” Rolf asked, his attention completely on the boy. Aiden nodded. “Perfect. I’ve got the fixings for pitas. What do you like?”
And just like that, Aiden was sold on Rolf. He followed him to the one counter where Rolf showed him the ingredients and then stepped back and let him choose what he wanted. Brecker had a hard time not laughing at what appeared to be hero worship on the kid’s face. It didn’t take long before it was obvious Aiden must be a vegetarian. He passed on the steak and chicken, and stuffed sprouts and greenery Brecker could not identify into a pita. Jonathon waved Brecker forward after he was done and he put a mixture of meats, cheeses, and a few greens in his. After Jonathon did the same, he waved them toward a door on the opposite side of the room.
They ate in the dining room which was a large room with three long rectangular tables. Each table would seat twenty-four, so they had room for growth.
Aiden dug into his pita and from the satisfied groans coming from his throat, completely enjoyed it. “That was good,” he said when he was done, his olive skin turning a dusky rose as he blushed.
“Glad you enjoyed it,” Jonathon said. “Want another?”
Aiden’s eyes widened and then he shook his head. “Nah. I’m fine.”
Brecker had the feeling that was a lie, but fully understood it. He, also, had been used to not eating much when he was offered a place to stay and he had worked hard at the beginning not to rock the boat.
“Why don’t we see what vitamins Thomas wants you to have and we’ll raid Rolf’s cupboards? I know where he keeps the cookies.”
A huge grin spread across Aiden’s face and he nodded.
It was another hour before Brecker felt he could leave. Once Aiden was introduced to some of the boys and went out back with them, he left. Gavin opened the back door for him and once they were on their way, he asked, “How did you know?”
Gavin glanced up into the rearview mirror before looking back at the road. “Saw a television show. It was on non-normative kids. They have hellish lives a lot of times.”
Non-normative? Brecker wanted to groan. He had no idea what that was but decided he could find out later. “Well, Aiden’s now safe with them. Take me back to the office. I’ve got some work I need to do and some calls to make.”
“Yes, sir.”
Through the drive, he looked through the notes he’d made. There were a lot of things the shelter needed and Jonathon had prioritized them for him. He couldn’t help but notice that everything on the list were needs. Clothes. Money for bills. Food. Brecker supposed that when you ran a youth shelter, basics were your focus. G
etting stuff for fun was probably low on the totem pole.
While he could call amongst his friends again to get everything on the needs list, Brecker knew he could do better. He would make sure they had their needs met, but there had to be a way to get more money pouring into Jonathon’s non-profit on a continual basis so he wasn’t always wondering if he would get the bills paid and keep his kids clothed and happy.
Gavin pulled the car over to the curb and got out, opening his door seconds later. Brecker stepped out and paused. “Stick close. I may need you a little later on.”
“Of course, sir.”
Brecker Security owned its own five story, one hundred thousand square foot building southeast of downtown. It housed their server farm, storage, programmers, and support staff. It also held the pinnacle of what made his company such a joy to work at. Not only did he pay his people exceptionally well, the top floor housed only two things—his offices and the employee lounge. Games, a café with an exceptional chef, and tons of places to lounge. His secretary nicknamed it Nirvana after they moved in and the name stuck.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Brecker,” Tony, one of the many programmers he had on staff, called out as he walked through the security door.
He waved and continued the path toward the stairs. As expected, Nirvana was thriving when he reached the top floor. The wonderful aromas of cinnamon and coffee floated on the air and he decided once he got his notes out, he would get himself whatever Chef Marlox was serving.
“Afternoon, Siobhan,” he said as he stepped into his outer office.
Siobhan, a quick-witted woman whose age he would place at timeless, looked up from her desk and smiled. “Afternoon, Brecker. Did you have good luck this morning?”
For a brief moment he was startled, wondering how she’d found out about Aiden. Then he realized she meant his meetings that morning. “Yes, I did. And even better luck afterward. I need you to do some research for me.”
“Of course.” She pulled out a notepad and waited, her pen poised.
“Grants,” he said quickly. “Continual money for an LGBT youth shelter. What can be done. What can’t be done. And how to get past what can’t be done. Also look up tax breaks. Whatever we can’t do by grants, we’ll need to get from the wealthy and they’ll want to know how it will serve them socially and tax-wise.” He paused and added. “I also need to know of any legislation, state or federal, that could affect it.”
“Anything else?” she prompted once she finished writing all that down.
“Not at the moment. I’m sure I’ll pile more on later,” he teased with a wink.
She rolled her eyes which made him laugh. “I’ll get you a coffee and a piece of the coffee cake the chef made today. Oh, Brecker, it’s to die for.”
“Thanks, Siobhan.” He walked into his office and dropped his briefcase onto the desk. Siobhan was the best secretary anyone could hope for. She was quick witted, intelligent, and a pleasure to work with. And she kept his office running smoothly whether or not he was there. Which was why he paid her very well. If she ever left him, he just might cry.
Fifteen minutes later, when she brought in the coffee and cake, he was on the phone. He nodded his thanks and she left quietly. Brecker knew she was single and that she lived alone and for the life of him he couldn’t figure out how she hadn’t been snatched up by some lucky person. The woman was a treasure.
By the time he left at five, his phone calls had assured Jonathon the money and the items he needed through a couple more months. There had to be a way to make it easier after that. Siobhan waved at him as he stepped out of his office.
“What are you still doing here?” he asked with a grin. “Go home.”
The look she handed him would fell a weak man. It made his grin widen. “Now that you’re going, I will. I have a lot of information for you for tomorrow. I’ve blocked off two hours in the afternoon so we can go over what I’ve found.”
“Perfect.”
“And don’t forget. Lisa’s birthday is a week from Saturday.”
Brecker cringed. He’d forgotten. “Thanks, Siobhan.” He gave her a wave and left. Most of the building was quiet. Just his twenty-four hour security service and a few intrepid programmers hung around after closing.
Lisa’s birthday. He groaned as he texted Gavin he was ready to leave and stood just inside the front doors. Rain poured down in sheets right outside and he did not want to get soaked. While he was glad that Siobhan reminded him of the impending birthday, Brecker almost wished she hadn’t. Lisa was his one attempt at a relationship and it hadn’t worked out. That was all on him. He was a workaholic and didn’t pay nearly enough attention to her. The divorce papers on their fourth anniversary came as a surprise. Her marriage two years later to a decent guy helped in that he knew she was happy with someone who gave her the attention she deserved. He still loved Lisa, just nowhere near as much as she warranted. Brecker assumed he wasn’t the type to love that deeply.
Somehow they managed to save their friendship through it all and once a year he paid her, her husband, and their ever-growing brood a visit on her birthday. Usually he looked forward to it. For some reason, he didn’t this year and he didn’t know why.
“Home, sir?” Gavin asked as Brecker dashed to the car and slid into the backseat.
“Yes.”
Home was only ten blocks from work in a high-rise apartment building. Once he was safely ensconced in his apartment, one of the five penthouse apartments on the top floor, Brecker ignored his usual nighttime procedures. Instead of changing his clothes and hitting the building’s gym, he turned on the large television that filled an entire wall and collapsed in front of it. Mindless television was just what he needed to help him forget his one really bad mistake.
Lisa was the daughter of Spencer Pernet, one of the two men who had saved him from the streets. She was younger than him by three years and all through his teens, he’d thought of her as The Pest. One day, he saw her in a dress and heels and she went from being The Pest to Lisa. If he was honest with himself, that was the day he overheard Pernet telling his wife that he would be pleased to have a boy like Brecker as his son-in-law.
Of course, he didn’t realize until later that making the decision to pursue Lisa and marry her would hurt everyone involved. Pernet said he understood when the divorce was finalized, but their friendship had taken a hit and it never recovered. Lisa was far more forgiving than Pernet and Brecker completely understood his mentor’s stance. He would have been angry at the man who broke his daughter’s heart too.
He was never more grateful that they didn’t have children.
Brecker glared at the television. It wasn’t doing its job. They divorced seventeen years ago and yet, in many ways that loss haunted him. Having come from a broken home, he hadn’t learned what family meant until moving in with the Pernets. “Which is why I haven’t dated someone for more than one or two dates since. There’s no way I’ll do that to anyone else.”
He closed his eyes and leaned back against his sofa. So why did he keep wanting it? Why did he want a relationship with someone who would love him for who he was? That person did not exist. They would want him to cut back on work. And he would need to if he wanted the relationship to work. The problem was that Brecker was his work. There would be no way to make a relationship last. Not for a man like him.
Not for the first time in his life, Brecker wanted a drink. But he always abstained. His father was a drunkard and he ran away from home to get away from the fits the old man had when he was plastered. No matter how much he wanted to get rid of his pain through other means, he refused. No. It was time to use his own brand of drug. Time to work out at the gym.
Chapter Four
The door opened and Jonathon looked up. Compassion filled him at the exhaustion that lined Aiden’s face along with the tear tracks over his cheeks and neck. He held his arms out and Aiden fell into them, sobbing softly against his shoulder. For the past he’d had, Aiden was a remarkably good hugge
r. He never baulked at giving one and he relaxed when Jonathon hugged him.
“Tough?” he murmured. Aiden nodded and shook his head at the same time. He smiled. There was no doubt the therapy appointments were both positive and negative.
“I like Tanner,” Aiden whispered. “I just wish….” What he wished for was obvious. That his own family had accepted him for who he was rather than wanting him to be something he wasn’t.
“I know.” Jonathon pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head. “And I know it’s hard right now. But it will get better. I promise.”
He let out a soft laugh. “That’s what Tanner said.”
“And he should know.” Tanner was trans male too, so he knew exactly what Aiden was going through.
After Aiden left to wash his face and join the others outside in helping Rolf plant garlic and tulips for the next year, Jonathon walked into the office and shut the door.
Tanner, a tall, thin man with silvery blond hair and hazel eyes looked up and smiled. His goatee caught the light and sparkled. “He’s a good kid.”
“Yes, he is. Anything I should watch out for?” Jonathon was a licensed therapist as well as a doctor of divinity. While he was head of the shelter and considered each boy and girl as one of his children, he also believed they deserved their privacy. Unless it was something he needed to keep on top of. Three of his youth had panic attacks and Tanner helped him to recognize the signs when they were starting. That way he could get them out of the room and alone and he could help them calm down. Panic attacks, while nothing to be ashamed of, tended to bring shame out in those who had them. If he could get them on their own while they broke down, it was much better in the long run for their peace of mind.