Light in the Dark Night

by Bree Cariad

  With a huge smile, Brecker turned onto his side and quickly fell asleep.

  Chapter Fourteen

  His hands shook as he added up the numbers from all the checks and put it on the deposit form. Jonathon had never imagined that much money all at once in his life and still had a hard time seeing it.

  A knock at the door had him look up and smile. “Morning.”

  Rolf stepped inside and closed the door before taking a seat on the side of the desk. “The kids are busy eating and Peril said he’d make sure nobody got carried away. How did last night go?”

  When Jonathon got back just before two a.m., the youth were in bed and Rolf and Gavin were playing cards. They were tired, so they didn’t go over the night. He guessed that time had come.

  “Overwhelming. The place was packed, Rolf. I have a pile of business cards that I need to send notes to, thank you notes to write. And in a few minutes….” He handed the deposit slip over. “I’ll be taking these to the bank to deposit.”

  Rolf let out a low whistle. When he looked up, a huge grin was on his face. “Johnny. All those pie in the sky thoughts we had about this place. This is it.”

  Letting out a slow breath, Jonathon nodded. “Siobhan is having her and Brecker’s investment counselor meet with me next week on how to grow the money. She’s got four grant apps in for us and there are several more planned for January. But I know.” He gave a sheepish grin. “All night long, I thought of the wants we had that have always been on the back burner. The Lord’s been on our side through all this. Some of our wants were taken care of by Brecker and his associates. But we can bring in more therapists.”

  “And outfit some of the outbuildings,” Rolf said. “At some point, we’re going to start getting more kids. Which means more beds, more food. More everything.” Delight was on his face. “And those outbuildings will need to be ready when we need the space.”

  Slowly Jonathon nodded. “And I want to increase artistic venues. Monthly visits to the museum or art exhibits. Art classes if we can figure out how to do it.”

  “We’ll need to buy a bus.”

  “Which means you’ll finally have a reason to carry that bus driver’s license,” Jonathon teased.

  “Nutritionists,” Rolf went on, the excitement in his voice. “People who can help our kids, especially our trans kids, know what they need to be as healthy as possible.”

  “Christmas,” Jonathon murmured and they stared into each other’s eyes. “We can have Christmas.” Tears pricked his eyes. Of course they would have celebrated no matter what, but with the money, they could get a tree and while he still wanted their youth to make ornaments for it, they could buy an angel for the top. “Stockings.”

  “A visit from St. Nick.” Rolf winked.

  Breathing in to stop the tears of gratitude, Jonathon leaned back in his chair. “The Lord’s been good to us.”

  Rolf snorted. “Of course He has. Look what you’re doing, Johnny. You’ve given His kids a home. A real home. They act like regular kids. They laugh, they argue, they pout, they groan when we insist they do their homework. It’s wonderful.”

  “Peril told me a few days ago that he wants to get a degree in something like social work and come back to help us here.” Jonathon was still filled with gratitude for that young man. “He’s struggling with school work right now, but that’s because he was out of school for four years. But he works so hard. I want to get in tutors who can help him and the others. He deserves to go to college if he wants to.”

  Rolf leaned forward, his gaze intense. “You did that, Johnny. You. Yes,” he said, waving his hand when Jonathon went to refute his words. “I know what you’re going to say. The Lord guided you to this work. Makes sense. He guides many. But you listened and acted. You went forward even though you had no idea how to do this. Don’t discount that. Those kids are laughing and playing and looking forward to the holidays because of you. You listened. You acted. You gave them a safe place to call home. And now Peril will be able to go to college. All the kids will if they work for it.” He reached forward and placed the deposit slip right in front of Jonathon. Slowly he tapped his finger on it. “And through your faith, we’ve now got the money to continue with the Lord’s plan. More kids. More help. More love. More light. That’s what we’ve got to give, Johnny. Help, love, and light. It’s working.”

  Tears dripped down Jonathon’s face as he nodded. He never liked it when Rolf made it about him. As far as Jonathon was concerned, he was merely a vessel. It was the Lord who was bringing these amazing things to pass. A soft laugh erupted from his throat when he remembered something. He cocked a brow at his best friend. “You and Brecker. I remember telling him once that the Lord would provide. He told me that the Lord used people for His purpose and to use him since he was there and willing.”

  “Knew I liked that man.”

  “You couldn’t stand him,” Jonathon spluttered.

  “Not when I thought he was a jerk like that Crelon—” He mashed his lips together and Jonathon snickered. Rolf had quite a colorful vocabulary, but while at the shelter and around Jonathon, he did his best to temper it. “But seeing how good he is in how he’s helped us and Aiden, and, to be honest, how happy he makes you? He’s on my good side.”

  Heat burst onto Jonathon’s cheeks. “He’s straight,” he said through a strangled throat.

  Rolf stared at him for a moment and then gave him a very compassionate smile. “You like him that much?”

  “He’s just….” There was no one word that fit Court Brecker. “He gives and gives and doesn’t ask for himself. I feel just so good around him, you know? Brecker lights me up inside.” The smile in Rolf’s eyes made him shake his head. “We have to keep things to friendship, Rolf. He’s one of the best men I know. I’m not going to lose him just because… because….”

  “Because you’re in love with him,” Rolf filled in.

  Jonathon burst out of his chair and paced back and forth. “How did it happen?” he asked, though who he was asking was up in the air. Perhaps he was asking both Rolf and the Lord. “I’ve never felt anything like this, Rolf. Not even with Paul.” His voice broke and he took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. In so many ways it felt like betraying the only man he’d been in a relationship with. “When Brecker is near, I feel all the desire for him I’ve been keeping down for ages. But it’s so much more than that. My heart desires him. I’d be happy cuddled on the couch with him.” He paused as he passed Paul’s picture and slowly lifted it up. “When did this happen?” He stared into Paul’s eyes, looking for reproach. Instead, all he felt was love. In fact, he could almost hear Paul saying “It’s about bloody time.”

  Rolf gently took the frame from his hands and placed it down on the desk and wrapped his arms around Jonathon, pulling him close. “It’s time, Jonathon,” he murmured. “It’s time. Paul wouldn’t have wanted you to hurt and be alone. He wanted you to love and be loved.” He tightened his arms and Jonathon held on just as tightly. “You deserve love. There were a couple years I wished I could be that man.”

  Jonathon jerked back in surprise. “Rolf, I—” He hadn’t realized Rolf ever felt about him that way.

  Rolf placed a finger on his lips, a wry smile on his face. “I wanted to be that man, but I never felt more for you than as a brother. But as for Brecker, let’s take sexuality out of this for a moment. If he reciprocated your feelings?”

  “He doesn’t think of me that way,” Jonathon said. Rolf frowned and he leaned forward and gently kissed him. “It happens, Rolf. You know that.”

  With a sigh, Rolf pulled him back for another hug. “Yeah. Unfortunately I do.” They hugged for a long moment before Rolf released him. Jonathon gathered the checks and deposit slip and added them to his bank bag.

  “Besides,” Jonathon admitted with a small smile. “I might not be able to have him, but he seems attached to Aiden. I’m going to feel him out and see if he would consider adoption.”

  “Aiden would love
that,” Rolf agreed.

  They spoke for a few more minutes before Rolf went back to finish cleaning up from breakfast and start planning for lunch. Jonathon grabbed his bank bag and headed out. With no snow for a week and the fact the temperatures were up, the roads were clear and he got to town easily. The look on the teller’s face when he handed her the deposit bag and she saw the deposit amount was priceless. It probably matched the one that had been on his face that morning.

  When he left the bank, he stood in the sun and breathed in. Life felt so wonderfully good. He could practically feel the holidays. On his walk back to the car, he noticed the decorations on the posts and listened to Christmas jingles coming from a speaker somewhere.

  Life was good. No doubt about it.

  “Reverend Nieland.”

  He turned at the sound of his name and smiled at the man walking toward him. It just occurred to him that it was Aiden’s father when he heard the bang and felt something explode in his leg. Pain erupted everywhere and his leg gave out from under him. He hit the ground as he heard another bang.

  “Jonathon!” The roar was from nearby followed by some sort of scuffle, but Jonathon was mostly aware of the extreme anguish in his body. He’d never felt anything like it. It was like liquid fire.

  “Please, Father,” he whispered. “I’m not done yet. My job’s not done yet.” His kids. Jonathon had to take care of his kids.

  Be quiet, my son. I am with you.

  “Jonathon.” The voice was right next to him. He knew he knew the voice but couldn’t place it past the roaring in his ears. “Jonathon, I’ve called 911. Can you hear me?”

  He managed a groan, but it was taking everything within him not to scream at the pain. But he needed things done. “Call… Rolf… tell him I’m… hurt.”

  “Don’t worry, Jonathon. I’ll call Rolf as soon as we get you to the hospital.”

  It was impossible to talk. The pain was intense. When hands picked him up, he finally lost the ability not to make a sound and cried out. A mask went over his nose and hands touched him, checking his pulse and his leg. Each touch on his leg just upped the agony. “Does he have any allergies?” said a disembodied voice.

  “I don’t know. But I know someone who does. Hold on.”

  It was strange lying there in anguish without being able to think or ask for an explanation.

  “Rolf? It’s Brecker. No. I need to know if Jonathon has any medical allergies…. Don’t freak out…. I said not to freak out.” Jonathon almost laughed at that. Telling Rolf not to freak out was sure to bring on anger instantly. “He’s been in an accident and the EMTs need to know…. He’s allergic to penicillin.”

  “Well, that’s good to know,” another male voice said.

  “Rolf says that’s all.

  “Rolf, I don’t want to tell you over the phone…. Okay, but you have got to promise not to freak out. Remember those kids do not need to know about this…. All right. Marshad shot Jonathon in the leg.” A few choice expletives exploded into the air. “I told you not to freak out. My ear’s ringing. I’ll go with him to the hospital…. Yes. I’ll call you as soon as I know anything. I promise, Rolf.”

  A strong hand took hold of his and he somewhat saw the EMT insert an IV into his other hand. Then something wafted up his arm and through his body and he knew no more.

  “It missed bone and your artery and that was very lucky, Reverend Neiland,” Dr. Kitch said two days later when he was finally somewhat clear headed. “But you’re going to be in a wheelchair and using crutches for a while. Your leg won’t hold your weight.”

  “How are my kids?” he asked in a husky voice. His throat was dry and achy, which kind of matched the rest of him.

  “Your kids?” Kitch asked, looking confused. “I was unaware you were married.”

  Jonathon sighed at the still apparent belief that one needed to be married to have children. “I run a shelter for youth.”

  “Oh. A Rolf Frey left a message to tell you that everything was fine. Everyone misses you. And that as soon as he can get away, he’ll come up and see you.”

  He would have shaken his head, but he knew that would be a bad idea. “No. He needs to stay with them.”

  The doctor asked him a few more questions, made notes on a chart, and then left.

  Jonathon closed his eyes. Shot. He’d been shot by Aiden’s father. It felt like a story he’d see in the paper. It was… surreal.

  “You awake?” said a voice in a quiet tone.

  He opened his eyes and managed what he hoped was a smile. “Hey, Brecker.”

  Brecker gave him a wry smile and pulled up a chair next to the bed. “Glad to see you with your eyes open. How’s the leg?”

  “I think the pain meds don’t allow it to get more than badly achy. I can’t believe he shot me.”

  A warm hand covered his. “It was obvious at the hearing that not all of his marbles were there. Now he’s in jail and won’t be getting out for some time. His bail’s been set high.”

  “Do you know what happened?” Many things around it felt blurry and he had a hard time remembering them.

  “I saw it.” Brecker took a deep breath. “I saw you heading toward your car and jogged forward to get to you before you took off when Marshad stepped out of his car. The whole thing felt like slow motion. Him calling out your name. You turning around. And then him pulling that gun out and firing.” His hand tightened. “You dropping to the ground stopped the next bullet entering what would probably have been your chest. I tackled him and he hit the pavement.”

  “Sorry you had to see all that.” Jonathon tried to squeeze back but his muscles felt like they were on a break.

  A snort of a laugh left his friend. “It wasn’t fun, but I’m sure it was much worse from where you were. I’m glad it hit muscle and not bone. But you’re in for weeks of physical therapy.”

  The discomfort in his leg started to climb and he winced.

  “Pain?” Brecker asked. He nodded. Brecker reached over and hit a button. Almost instantly, something went through his body and the pain dulled until everything else did and he closed his eyes.

  The hospital didn’t release him until Tuesday and while he ached and would need pain meds for a while, Jonathon was going crazy without seeing for himself that things were okay at the shelter. He and Rolf spoke four times on the phone, but it wasn’t the same. Especially after the one right before he was released.

  “Johnny, you’re coming home today, right?” The caution in Rolf’s voice sent Jonathon’s nerves on edge.

  “What happened?”

  “Nothing happened,” he said slowly. “Or more to the point, what happened to you became public knowledge.”

  “No.” Jonathon shook his head, horror climbing within as he imagined the reactions those poor kids would have. “Who knows?”

  “They all do. Aiden’s horrified. It’s taken both Tanner and Thomas to calm him down.”

  “Rolf, I never wanted him to know. It’s not his fault.”

  “You know that. I know that. But he’s a fourteen-year-old kid, Jonathon. Seeing you will, I think, go a long way to helping him. He’s sure that….”

  That Jonathon would hate him. Oh, my dear boy. It wasn’t your fault. It was never your fault. Brecker offered to go with him, but Jonathon saw no reason to drag him away from his work when it would be Gavin who would be driving anyway.

  When they arrived, Gavin got the wheelchair Jonathon had on loan out of the back and helped him out of the car and into it. The bandage around the bullet hole showed a bit through the light pair of scrub bottoms he wore, but there wasn’t much he could do about that. Gavin pushed the chair up to the door and by the time they were there, Rolf was out the door and hugged Jonathon. “So glad you’re back,” he said and by the huskiness in his voice, Jonathon knew how badly worried he’d been.

  “I need to see the kids,” Jonathon said quickly as they wheeled him inside.

  “Let’s get you set up first,” Rolf said. “The doc
tor told me you need to have the leg above your heart for a few more days as often as possible. You know I can be a pain of a nurse.”

  That was true enough.

  Between Rolf and Gavin, they got him onto a sofa. Rolf wanted to put him in bed, but Jonathon refused. If the kids could see him anytime they wanted, it would go a long way to helping their fears.

  “Thanks, Gavin,” he said.

  “No problem. If you need driven anywhere, Brecker’s let me know I’m at your beck and call. So call. Because if you don’t and Brecker finds out? I’ll be the one he takes it out on.” Gavin winked at him and walked out.

  Rolf made sure he had water, juice, and food within easy reach. “Take your pills.”

  Jonathon rolled his eyes but smiled all the same. He was home.

  “Who do you want to see first?”

  “Aiden, don’t you think?”

  Rolf went to get him and Jonathon waited. Poor Aiden. He hadn’t wanted the poor kid to find out. Not for years. Knowing he was shot was bad enough. That it was Marshad made it so much worse.

  “Come on,” Rolf encouraged from the hallway.

  Jonathon watched the edge of the doorway and his heart ached as Aiden peeked around the corner. His eyes were red, his face blotchy from crying. The poor kid looked heart broken. Jonathon opened his arms and Aiden shot across the room, dropping to his knees right beside the sofa. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he blubbered.

  Jonathon wrapped him up in his arms and pulled him close to his chest. “It’s not your fault,” he murmured into his ears. “Aiden, my dear boy. It’s not your fault.”

  “My... dad… shot you.”

  He tightened his hold. “Your former father shot me, Aiden. That man is full of anger and hatred. You aren’t him. You’re loving and kind and good. It’s not your fault.”

  Aiden burst into tears and sobbed against his chest. Tears stung Jonathon’s eyes as he held onto him. It was apparent that Aiden needed to be near him. With Rolf’s help, they got Aiden curled up along the back of the sofa with his head on Jonathon’s chest while the rest of the kids came in to see that Jonathon was alive and well.