Together Forever

by David Horne

  I was eager to feel loved and protected again. Ever since my dad got sick, up to the moment he died, I have been alone, without anyone to watch my back and to hold me in their arms, just as Daniel used to do whenever I was scared. Contributing to my sudden urge toward him was the fact that he was always a good-looking guy, and he was even more handsome now.

  However, regardless of me already making up my mind about forgiving him, I was still looking forward to having an honest conversation about why we went separate ways. I waited a little longer until the show was over, and we were already heading for the third pizza to ask him about it.

  “Listen,” I began. “I need to talk to you about something.”

  I placed both my legs under my butt and switch to the side to face him directly. He seemed surprised, and a bit intimidated. He also re-arranged his position on the couch, but he instead opened his legs and just tuned away his torso into my direction.

  “Go ahead,” he said.

  “Why did you stop talking to me?”

  I went straight for it, and he was not amused. However, he seemed to have the answer to that question already thought out in his mind, considering that he answered pretty quickly.

  “You stopped talking first.”

  “Because every time I called you or texted you, you never answered back. You were busy. And that’s fine, you made new friends.”

  “But I would never forget you, dude,” he said. “You were the most important person in my life, no matter who I was going out with.”

  “If I was so important, why didn’t you say anything when my dad died?” I asked him.

  He let down his guard and spoke more softly this time.

  “Because I didn’t know,” he revealed. “I only discovered that once I got home last week.”

  “What?” I asked, shocked.

  “Yeah, dude. My mom didn’t tell me. She knew that if she told me, I would drop out of college and come back home. She knew how much I loved you.”

  I was quite speechless. Have I been blaming Daniel all this time for something that his mother never told him about? That still doesn’t invalidate why he never came to visit me or called once in a while.

  “After some time, I didn’t know how to get close to you again. It felt weird every time that I tried writing something to you. I still have the letters that I never sent you,” Daniel revealed.

  “Why didn’t you say anything either?” he asked me.

  I paused as I debated if I should come clean with him. One of the things that I still regret was never telling him what I felt for him, even if I didn’t know what it was at the time. So, now, I wanted to finally come clean.

  “Because, at the time, I loved you.” The words struggled to come out of my vocal cords like I had lost my voice mid-sentence. I was looking at him right in his eyes, and I could tell that he was not surprised.

  “I know,” he confessed, very softly. “I mean, I never knew for sure, but I had my suspicions. The way you followed me around everywhere and the looks you would give me sometimes. I could tell that you felt something else for me.”

  “That’s the reason I never said anything back. I felt betrayed when you left. I felt alone.”

  “And that was why I left,” he revealed. “I felt like shit for doing it, but I knew that I could never give you what you wanted from me. So, it was better to cut it off.”

  Suddenly, I was the one who was getting more new information with this conversation. It was all coming together, and it all made sense now. I wasn’t mad at Daniel because what I felt for him at the time had definitely decreased by now. However, I couldn’t help but feel hurt, and, deep down, I knew that I still nurtured a special place in my heart for him.

  “I wish we would’ve talked about all of this back then,” I whispered.

  “Yeah, me too.” He agreed.

  He took another good look deep into my eyes. Now, I was relaxed. The tension and the unknown feeling that I was experiencing by his presence was gone. I was at ease.

  “So…” he began. “You’re gay?”

  “Yup,” I awkwardly revealed.

  “Why didn’t you say anything before?”

  “Because I didn’t know at the time. I guess that I was struggling with discovering myself.”

  Daniel laughed softly.

  “Dude. I can’t imagine not liking girls,” he said.

  What an odd thing to say, I thought. However, I also faked a small laugh in agreement.

  “Just to be clear…” His expression was now somber, but he couldn’t look me in the eyes this time around. “That feeling’s gone, right?” he asked.

  “Yeah,” I lied.

  “Oh, good.” He sighed of relief. “Look, I never wanted that to interfere with our friendship, but I’m not into dudes. I like girls.”

  “I know,” I assured him.

  To break the tension, I went to grab us another bottle of wine.

  “Oh shit,” Daniel said, standing up and looking at his phone. “I have to go,” he said while he was already heading to the door. “Do you mind?” he asked me, opening the door.

  I said no with my head, and then he left, just like that.

  His sudden departure was bizarre. He hadn’t told me that he had to be somewhere tonight, and there was still one pizza left to eat. A part of me was wondering if that were all an act just so he could escape our conversation.

  Instead of opening the wine bottle that I was holding, I decided to put it away instead. I also closed the third pizza box and cleaned out the trash. It was still early, about 8:30pm, but I headed upstairs to my bedroom anyway. My mom would be out for the majority of the night because she would probably still go to some bar afterward.

  Tomorrow was Saturday, but I couldn’t sleep late since I was starting my shift at the hospital at 6am. I have been working there for about four years. I didn’t make it to nursing school like I planned to, and I had to skip a few years because of my father’s illness. But I did manage to take a nurse assistant’s course, and I am happy with it.

  Working at the local hospital has been such a great experience for me. It allowed me to meet awesome people and to push myself in ways that I never thought I could. I still get to follow Tim around, all day. He is the nurse who oversees me, so we grew quite close over the years.

  I took off my clothes and headed for the bathroom. One of the great things about my house is that I have my own bathroom, and it’s attached to my room. I took a quick shower and then brushed my teeth. Since I just had two days off, I wasn’t feeling tired, but I forced myself to get into bed despite it.

  As I always do, I checked my phone, and I had a missed call from Daniel. I tried calling him, but he didn’t answer. So, I left him a text message:

  “Hey. What did you want?” I asked.

  The bubble showing that Daniel was typing appeared almost immediately. He must’ve been holding his phone, giving his promptness. But then, why didn’t he answer me?

  Out of a sudden, the bubble disappeared, but I didn’t receive any text message from him. I knew that there was definitely something going on with him, but I tried to ignore it. On my phone, I opened my favorite social media app. I was watching some posting from my friends and saw that my friend Michael was having a party.

  Michael also works in the hospital, but we don’t get along well. He has an overconfident and arrogant attitude toward everyone that is not a doctor. He is also just a nurse himself, but he likes to pretend that he’s a part of the big league.

  On those videos, there was Daniel in the background. At first, I couldn’t see him that well, but then I recognized him because he was wearing the same clothes from when he left. The video had also been recently posted, just two minutes ago to be precise.

  “I can’t believe this!” I whispered aloud.

  That’s the reason he ditched me? To go to Michael’s party? That was absurd! I closed the app and locked my phone, placing it on my bedside table. A feeling of rage and betrayal was creeping in
on me, and I was almost experiencing the same sensation of when Daniel left eight years ago.

  My phone vibrated, and, with my eyes closed, I picked it up. It was Daniel, he had finally responded to my text.

  “Nothing,” Daniel said.

  What does he mean, nothing? He did try to call me. I was beginning to get pissed off, so I turned on the do not disturb mode on my phone. I really had to get some sleep, so I forced my thoughts to go away and closed my eyes once again.

  ***

  I always dislike my alarm sound, even if it is a gentle sound of rain from an app that I bought a few years ago. Getting out of bed has to be one of the hardest decisions in my life, especially when it’s only 4am. I turned off the alarm and unplugged my phone from its charger. I had three missed calls from Daniel and one text message also from him.

  The calls were all between 3am until 3:45am, so they were pretty recent. The text message was even more recent, having I received it just five minutes ago.

  Daniel: Can you talk?

  Having I already opened the message and marked it as read, I was left with no other choice but to reply. However, I was aware that he was probably still at Michael’s party and that he had no idea that I had already slept and woken up.

  Me: Yes.

  I was also already assuming that he was drunk, and, given that he called and texted me at 4am, he probably was. I didn’t know what he wanted to talk about, but I was also not making a big deal out of it. I already hate mornings, and I couldn’t have him ruining my mood.

  Daniel: Can I come over?

  Me: No.

  Daniel: Why?

  Me: I need to go get ready for work.

  Losing my patience, I locked my phone and headed for the bathroom. I always sleep naked, since I like to turn the heater on in my bedroom at night, no matter the weather outside. I took a shower, but Daniel was on my mind for the whole time. What did he want to talk about so much? The more that I tried to fight it, I couldn’t pretend that I wasn’t curious.

  I rushed to get out of the shower and immediately grabbed my phone to read my messages. Oddly enough, there were no new messages from Daniel. He must’ve been really drunk. I took that as a sign that his entire conversation was just the alcohol talking for him and that he didn’t have anything essential to speak to me about.

  Quickly, I got dressed and headed downstairs. My mother was still sleeping, so I tried to make as little noise as I possibly could. Usually, I can never eat so early in the morning, but I always need to drink coffee. I took one of my iced coffee from the fridge and rechecked my phone.

  There were still no new messages from Daniel. I knew that he was probably drunk, but why was I left with butterflies in my stomach, thinking about the fact that he had something to discuss with me. And that could mean a lot of things. It could be something great, or it could be something terrible.

  I went back upstairs to brush my teeth, and, while I was doing it, my phone rang, making me pick it up in seconds. It wasn’t Daniel, it was my friend Carla.

  Carla: Two more weeks!

  We are really close friends, and we happen to always work the same shifts, so we go to work together. Since we talk every morning, she just has to share her excitement about our trip every single day. To be fair, it’s probably the best thing that we have going for us at the moment.

  My medical team was traveling across the globe to do some volunteering work in Ghana. It would be my first time going out of the country, let alone to Africa. I was really excited to go with my team because I love them all so much, and it will be such an excellent opportunity for all of us. However, Michael’s team was also going, and I’m was not thrilled about that. I’ll just have to ignore him and his team of entitled pricks. The trip was going to be about something more significant, helping those in need.

  I finished brushing my teeth and headed downstairs. I put on a pair of sneakers, grabbed my bag and my car keys, and headed out. This week, it was my turn to drive, so I had to pick Carla from her home. I texted her to let her know that I was coming.

  Me: Just left.

  From my house to hers, it was about twenty minutes. During all that time, I was thinking about Daniel and why he called me so many times. Carla was the same age as me, and she had come from another state just for this job opportunity. She is also a nurse assistant, like me.

  I pulled over in front of her house, and Carla immediately came outside. She is a beautiful woman. She’s tall, slim, has long legs, light brown eyes, and has a gorgeous face, with long blonde hair. Every guy that sees her starts drooling at once, and she is used to that. She is not a person of commitment, she just likes sex, usually with older guys. That’s how strong our friendship is that we share these types of details with each other.

  “Hey, Carla,” I greeted her.

  “How are you today?” she asks.

  “I’m okay,” I tell her. “How are you?”

  “I’m super thrilled today,” she revealed with an excited expression.

  “Why?”

  “Apparently, Michael has found a new nurse to replace Martha.”

  “Who is she? Is it someone you know?”

  “No.”

  “Then, why all that excitement?”

  “Because it’s a guy,” she commented with a huge smile.

  “Oh. I see… Like you haven’t already fucked half the guys that work there,” I said sarcastically, but it was kind of right.

  “Don’t be mean now. The guy may be a man with experience. Maybe I can learn something from him.”

  “Yeah, right,” I commented, laughing.

  It takes about half an hour until we start to see the big local hospital. I parked the car outside, and Carla was the first to get out. She was acting like a child, thrilled to meet this new nurse. But, knowing her, she gets quickly excited about a lot of things.

  At the front door, there was Michael. And my eyes couldn’t believe who else they were seeing. The new nurse was standing beside him, and it was Daniel. How didn’t I figure that out before? It all made sense! That’s why he was at Michael’s party tonight.

  “Hello, Michael,” Carla greeted him.

  He looked at us with disdain and didn’t say a word back. Instead, he took one more breath out of his mint cigarette – the usual.

  “Jesus,” she began her morning attack. “You need to let me know what makeup you’re using!” she said, examining his face a bit too close. “Those eyebags… They’re gone!”

  Neither Michael nor Daniel had probably had any sleep. I don’t know why Michael would still host a party if he was working such an early shift today. After examining both of them, Carla was right. Michael seemed flawless. But Daniel, on the other hand, looked like he was run over by a truck… twice.

  “Hey,” Daniel greeted me.

  “Hey,” I greeted back, without even correctly looking him in the eyes.

  Our minimal interaction was enough to make Michael and Carla stare at both of us. However, Carla was quick to break the tension.

  “Hi. My name’s Carla,” she said.

  “Nice to meet you, Carla,” Daniel said while taking her hand. He then kissed the palm of her hand softly, like they do in the movies. “If I knew that I was going to be presented with such beauty, I would’ve worn some makeup myself.”

  I don’t think that Daniel realized what he just said, or probably he didn’t have a chance to honestly know Michael, but the look that Michael gave him could kill him with just the stare.

  And what was Daniel doing? What an odd way to flirt with Carla. Or was I just bothered by the fact that he was flirting with her? Why would I be upset about that, though?

  Carla and I went inside while they stayed in front of the door outside.

  “Do you know Daniel?” she asked me.

  “Yeah.”

  “I was getting major ex-boyfriend vibes,” she revealed. “Is he bi?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “If I still have a chance. You wouldn't mind, rig
ht?”

  I stopped in the middle of the corridor, just abysmal, unable to process what she just said to me.

  “Sorry,” she said. “Daniel’s off-limits then.”

  Carla left and went ahead into the changing room, leaving me still speechless standing in the middle of the corridor. She didn’t even let me explain that he’s not my ex or anything of the sort. However, I was just curious to know why she picked such a vibe between us two.

  I went into my changing room as well, and both Michael and Daniel followed me. Michael never changes in the hospital for some reason, but for appearance's sake, he still gets in just to leave his stuff in the locker.

  We all came in silently, and there was no one else in the changing room.

  “I’ll be waiting for you in the staff room,” Michael said to Daniel before leaving.

  “Have you slept?” I asked Daniel.

  He was taking off his shirt, revealing his six-pack. My eyes were instantly drawn to it, but I forced them to look somewhere else.

  “No,” he answered me.

  Daniel took off his pants and also his underwear, which he didn’t have to do. Usually, no one showers in here before a shift begins. His eyes stared directly into mine, and he headed out into the showers.

  “Are you coming?” he asked me.

  “No,” I answered. I had already taken a shower, so there was no point in doing it again.

  “Come on, come.” He told me.

  “Why?”

  “Just do it.”

  Naïve, I went. I took off all of my clothes while Daniel had already turned on the shower. Why was he telling me to go with him? What did he want? I felt my legs losing all their strength as I was getting closer to him.

  The showers here are even more secluded than the ones at the gym, and Daniel had chosen the one that was the furthest away from the only entrance. With a knot in my stomach, I walked in. Daniel was standing under the shower, with the steamy hot water dripping on his muscled body.