Forever (F-Word Book 4)

by E. Davies

  They’d been exclusive for a few months now, and they’d gotten tested, especially given the health considerations that Jake needed to make. They’d decided already that they wouldn’t use condoms for Tristan’s cock.

  Packers were an exception, though. Something about the effect of lube on them. Tristan hadn’t really been paying attention when he’d asked, too distracted—as he was now—by the sight of it, and what that did to him.

  “Does a new cock make you a virgin all over again?” Tristan grinned up at Jake.

  Jake hummed. “I don’t know. You’ll have to see if I fuck you like a virgin.”

  God, hearing him talk dirty turned Tristan on. He gasped as Jake cupped his cheek and guided the tip of his cock to his mouth. Jake thrust gently a few times, his gaze intent on the length disappearing between his lips.

  Since Jake couldn’t feel this, it was all about how it looked. So Tristan tilted his head just right to give Jake a great show. After bobbing his head a few times, he opened his mouth wide and let the tip press against the inside of his cheek, gazing up at Jake.

  “Bed,” Jake ordered, his voice a low growl. Oh, hell, yes, Tristan thought. When Jake talked like this, it meant he was going to fuck him hard.

  Tristan’s body burned with anticipation, already clenching with anticipation. He ached to have something inside him. He scrambled to his feet and bent over the edge of the bed, spreading his legs.

  But Jake turned him over, guiding him further up the bed so he could lie on his back. “I want to see you,” Jake murmured.

  In a rare moment of modesty, Tristan blushed. He glanced down, but the shyness didn’t last long when Jake pushed his knees up to his chest and grabbed the lube.

  “Oh, fuck, yes.” He’d long since learned that Jake was good with his fingers. Really good.

  Jake grinned as he slid two wet fingers inside, going gently at first and then a little harder. By the time he crooked them to rub against the prostate, sparks of pleasure were shooting across Tristan’s skin, and it was all he could do not to follow them with his load.

  Holding out long enough was a real challenge when Jake seemed determined to push him to the limits and then some, but Tristan relished it.

  “Fuck me,” he finally begged when those fingers didn’t feel like enough. He needed more inside him.

  Jake’s cock pressed against him moments later, and then inside him, and Tristan was floating in the ecstasy of being so full it hurt, yet wanting more.

  And, inch by inch, he got it.

  “It’s so good,” Tristan panted against Jake’s lips when Jake ducked his head between Tristan’s knees to kiss him.

  “I knew you were a size queen,” Jake gently teased.

  Tristan nodded hard. “All the way.” Jake had been right that night a few months ago, when he’d said that being with him came with benefits that most guys couldn’t bring to the table. The U-Pick cocks were one of them.

  Jake gave a few slow thrusts, keeping it lazy at first, but that didn’t last long. Before Tristan could beg for it, Jake seemed to read his body and the way he tried to push up and into him.

  Within minutes, the bed squeaked under them, but all Tristan could hear was his own whimpers and moans as Jake pounded him into the bed. He was so deep inside, and filled Tristan so damn perfectly, that Jake couldn’t imagine sex with anyone else again.

  How the hell had he ever thought this could get boring?

  “Yes,” Tristan gasped, the telltale jolts of pleasure running through him. “Fuck, baby. I’m so close. You’re gonna make me come.”

  Jake tangled his fingers in Tristan’s hair and leaned in to lick his throat. It was a raw, dominant move that hit Tristan’s pleasure center exactly where he needed it. “Come for me,” Jake whispered.

  Tristan was already there. He gasped and arched as his climax hit him before he could even answer, sweeping away every other thought besides the cock that was plunging deep into him, and the lips against his throat, and the hand that rested gently on his hip to keep him steady as he squirmed.

  Fuck. That was amazing.

  Tristan swallowed a few times as he started to come back to Earth, giving Jake a dizzy grin. “Your turn.”

  Jake had already pulled out, and in a few deft moves, he wriggled out of the harness. “Working on it,” he assured Tristan with a grin.

  “Let me suck you off,” Tristan whispered. He shifted until he lay flat on the bed, and then grabbed Jake’s hips to guide him up his body until Tristan straddled his head.

  He closed his lips around Jake’s cock and sucked it into his mouth, flicking his tongue quickly back and forth over the head as Tristan thrust into his mouth, ground his hips, and groaned.

  It turned him on so much to see Jake throwing himself into this that he was already starting to plan round two in the morning.

  When Jake came, gasping for breath and whispering his name over and over like a mantra, Tristan rubbed his hip and gradually let go of the suction, slowing down his tongue until he licked the sensitive nub a few last times and flopped back against the pillow.

  “I love you,” Jake whispered. Then, he blushed bright red and scrambled up. “Better wash up and get to bed.”

  Tristan caught him by the hand before he could run and grinned at him. “I love you, too, sexy. I’ll love you even more if you bring me back a washcloth to clean up.”

  And when Jake did, and they’d cleaned up and climbed under the covers and turned the lights off, Tristan kissed him until Jake’s eyes closed with exhaustion and satisfaction. Jake’s breathing fell into an easy, deep rhythm, and Tristan stroked his hair until his own eyelids grew heavy.

  Love is the easiest thing in the world. It felt like the hardest to find sometimes, but now that I have, it’s as easy as breathing.

  He fell asleep to the sound of those deep, easy breaths.

  Whatever he’d done to deserve a man like Jake in his bed and his heart and his life, he didn’t know… but he was grateful nonetheless. And he always would be, whatever hard times they hit along the way.

  19

  Jake

  Jake had been expecting the call all day. Not the call from a new employer wanting to offer him a job based on his impressive resume or great interview… no, the call from the insurance company.

  Sure enough, there it was. It was the first day of a new month, which meant his insurance had ended. His eight-week pregnancy checkup had been that morning. If the doctor’s office tried to file the claim, he’d figured insurance would bounce it back to him.

  “Thanks for the heads-up. I’ll pay by credit card, please.”

  After he hung up with the doctor’s office, Tristan glanced over at him from the kitchen. He’d been spending more and more time at Tristan’s place instead of his own, to the point where Tristan had told him he was getting another key cut.

  That, at least, was one small bright spot.

  “Who was that?”

  “The doctor.”

  “Shit. Your insurance, right?” Tristan wiped his hands on the tea towel and joined Jake on the couch.

  He’d just put something delicious-smelling in the oven. Jake just hoped his appetite kept up. Sometimes the moment he started to eat, his stomach decided that it didn’t like food after all.

  The internet told him the nausea would be worst for the first trimester, and he just hoped it was right. In the mornings, before he left for work, Tristan would bring him weak tea and plain crackers, and that was often all he could manage—if that—until noon.

  That limited his job options, and even his job-hunting options, but he still had rent to pay.

  Unless Tristan offered him a place to live, which he seemed to be pushing for. Jake hadn’t let the conversation come up yet, so he didn’t have to shoot Tristan down, but he wouldn’t be surprised to get an offer.

  “If you can’t get another job… and even if you do, it might not have insurance benefits…” Tristan trailed off. He twisted his hands together, and then took
Jake’s. “Okay, I know you won’t like this, but… we might need to get you on my insurance plan. Which is a big question to pop right now.”

  It took Jake a second to understand what he meant, and then to decide how he felt about it.

  Part of him said yes, and part of him said what the hell, and part of him said… well, no, actually. No part of him said no. Just that marrying a guy he’d been dating for two months was a dumb idea.

  But was it, really? They’d only had minor hiccups for these last couple of months. So far, they’d resolved them all over a cup of coffee, or sometimes in bed.

  “It makes sense,” Jake said slowly. “For everyone’s sake.”

  Tristan lit up and started smiling ear-to-ear. “Yeah. It does.” Then, in that way that meant he was trying not to be overeager, he schooled his expression and cleared his throat. “I mean, it’s just logical.”

  He’s hoping it means more, too. Jake grinned at him and took his hand. “Look, I wouldn’t normally do this kind of thing, but… I’m willing to consider it. I can’t afford to have a baby uninsured, and I can’t afford individual insurance right now. Especially if they’ll consider my pregnancy a preexisting condition. You just need to call your plan and ask—”

  “Already done,” Tristan admitted, ducking his head sheepishly. “Sorry. But I didn’t want to give you a false sense of hope.”

  Jake melted a little. Tristan loved him enough to plan for his comfort, even in this utterly ridiculous situation. “If it breaks down relationship-wise… I know we’ve been dating two months, but we have to plan this if we’re going to jump straight in,” Jake finally said.

  “I was thinking this through. If we stop dating, we’ll stay legally married until you have pediatric care settled one way or another.” Tristan looked serious now.

  “You’d do that? I mean, you wouldn’t exactly be able to date anyone else while you’re in marriage limbo.”

  Tristan smiled at him and shook his head. “Yeah, but I don’t want to.”

  “Even if this ended?”

  Tristan put his arm around Jake’s shoulder and drew him in to kiss his forehead. “It’ll take me a lifetime to forget you, Jake Gray.”

  Jake let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. He put his head down on Tristan’s shoulder, trying to hide his smile. “Okay. But if we do this… we probably have to live together.”

  “That’s the thing I was worried you’d turn down.”

  Jake smiled as he looked up at him. “You were going to propose marriage to me, and you were worried I wouldn’t move in with you?”

  Then, he laughed before Tristan could even answer. Come to think of it, Tristan knew him way too well. Moving in meant reliance on Tristan, but marriage didn’t necessarily. It could be strictly a legal arrangement.

  Tristan grinned. “Was I wrong?”

  Jake couldn’t stop laughing. “No,” he admitted. “I see where you’re coming from. God, my life is weird.”

  “Mine’s a little out of the ordinary, too,” Tristan teased. “But you know I like it that way.”

  “What about the move? I’m such a mess lately,” Jake groaned. “I don’t know if I can move furniture, and… oh, man. I’d need to sell most of the furniture. And boxes. I’ll just puke on everything.”

  Tristan squeezed him tightly. “That’s what I’m here for. I’ll take care of everything I can,” he promised. “All you need for now is you, and your clothes, and… your hair stuff, I guess. And your prenatal vitamins.”

  Jake laughed and kissed Tristan. “So you’re offering to marry me, move me into your house, and pamper me? Did I die and go to heaven?”

  “I know this is all just… legal stuff, for your sake and the baby’s sake,” Tristan said. His voice was hesitant in that way that always made Jake pay attention, because it meant he had something big to say. “But I kind of hope it would mean more, too. In time. A lot of people have rushed into something like this, and… forged true love that way.”

  “From going through something like this together,” Jake agreed softly. “Two dumb kids making a life together.”

  It was a romantic idea, he had to admit. Just because his parents had done it, and had done such a bad job toward the end, didn’t mean that was his own path.

  Hell, Tristan didn’t seem to talk much with his own parents, but he was devoted and thorough already with the prenatal details in a way that made Jake trust him to be a good influence in the kid’s life after birth, too.

  And that was the highest commendation he could give anyone. Trusting them to take part in the dream he’d held for his whole life said more to him than any amount of hot sex, or fun bantering, or even Chinese in the park.

  “Let’s do it.”

  “I never imagined I’d have a courthouse wedding,” Jake whispered into Tristan’s ear.

  He didn’t know why he was whispering. There were just two couples ahead of them in line now, and everyone else was absorbed in talking to each other.

  “Me neither. Hell, I didn’t think anyone would marry me.” Tristan snorted and squeezed his hand. “But here we are. All I had to do was…” He trailed off, showing some discretion.

  Knock me up? Jake giggled at the unsaid words.

  It was all so much faster than he’d imagined.

  At least here in California, they could get a confidential certificate. That way, relatives, agents, fans, tabloids… nobody could snoop on them and find out all the details. A couple hours later, here they were… about to tie the knot.

  Jake’s heart hammered, and that raised yet another question. If it was all for legal benefits, why did he feel so damn over the moon?

  One more couple ahead of them.

  “I love you,” he whispered, glancing up at Tristan.

  Tristan let go of his hand and wrapped his arms around Jake’s shoulders. “I love you, too.”

  I hope he stays with me until the baby’s born… and afterward. Forever. Jake hugged Tristan hard—hoping it was hard enough to convey what he felt.

  Tristan grunted and squeezed him back with a quiet laugh. “You okay? You sure about this?”

  “Yeah. Never better.” Jake kissed his cheek and let go again so he could take his hand. “And I’ve never been more sure of anything. Except maybe running away to L.A., and look where that got me.”

  Tristan smiled. “You ever think that maybe this is all an elaborate dream?”

  “And one day you’ll wake up and go back to your normal life?” Jake asked, his heart aching.

  “No. One day I’ll wake up and you won’t be there, and…” Tristan trailed off, clearing his throat and glancing away. “Anyway.”

  Tears pricked the corners of Jake’s eyes. He laced their fingers together and squeezed Tristan’s hand. “I’ll be here,” he promised quietly. “Whether or not we do this. But before we go in, I want to know: is this because you’re afraid I’ll leave?”

  Tristan sucked a slow breath in and gazed at Jake, his brows furrowing. “No. This is the best way I can think of to protect you right now. Are you afraid I’ll leave?”

  “Yes,” Jake whispered. “It’s not why I said yes to this, but… I’m worried the best thing I’ve ever known will just fade away.”

  “Like hell would I ever.” Tristan raised Jake’s hand and brushed his lips along the back of Jake’s hand. “Just watch me.”

  When their names were called, a smile burst across Jake’s face.

  It might not be conventional, but when had he ever been?

  His heart settled and his mind made up, he walked forward, holding Tristan’s hand, to change the course of his life forever for a second time.

  But this time, he and Tristan were doing it with eyes wide open, and that meant all the more.

  20

  Tristan

  They had exactly one day to move Jake out of his old place and start this new adventure.

  That day was dictated by both Jake’s rolling lease and Tristan’s schedule. Thank God he had a
day off that worked, but all he could do was hope the weather wouldn’t turn unseasonably bad, and hope that everyone showed up.

  But just as they’d promised, there was a knock on Jake’s front door—soon to be someone else’s front door—bright and early.

  “I’ll get it!” Tristan called out, not wanting Jake to move from the couch. That was the last remaining piece of furniture, and it was getting sold in about an hour.

  He’d tried to get Jake to stay at home, but it had already been a battle to get him to accept this much help.

  “Surprise!” It was Sam, beaming at him and leading everyone—Kyle, River, Zeph, and Denver. Each of them hugged Tristan as they passed by.

  “Hey! Thank you guys,” Tristan greeted them. “God, I owe you so much pizza and beer.”

  “I’ll hold you to that!” Sam exclaimed as the others laughed. He had the appetite of an early twenty-something, and he was a lot stronger than he looked.

  So were all of them. Between them, Tristan had no doubt they could move these scattered boxes and bags, ditch the stuff to be thrown away, and shift the furniture to be sold into the buyers’ trucks and cars.

  They got to work without delay, everyone taking care to be quiet when they worked in the living room. Tristan had given them a heads-up about the morning sickness, and it made him glad to see they were being so considerate.

  Jake clearly felt bad, because Tristan kept having to get him to lie down again whenever he got up to try to help.

  “Honestly, babe, it’ll be easy if we get a rhythm going.” Tristan didn’t want to say, And if you have to go throw up, that’ll throw our rhythm off.

  Jake clearly heard his meaning, though. He pouted as he settled down again, wrapping the blanket around himself. “Yeah. I should have stayed at your place. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay.” Tristan kissed his forehead. He just wished there were more he could do to help him feel better, besides bring him tea and wait out these next few weeks.

  He brought Jake home on their first trip, and got him settled in bed while River and Zeph unpacked the car and necked in public.