Master of My Heart

by Marissa Honeycutt

*****

  Chase felt Sabrina lean into him, then immediately pull away. He didn’t understand why. She’d been so open to him in the bedroom, why did she pull away now? Had something happened between then and now that he didn’t know about? What could have possibly happened? They hadn’t been separated that long. She didn’t even have her phone.

  Women were generally difficult to understand, but he found Sabrina especially confusing.

  Or maybe she was still scared from her ordeal. She was in a new environment, around new people. He knew men frightened her. Maybe it hadn’t been a good idea for her to walk into a room full of strange men. He should have thought about that.

  He took her hand as she sat there quietly, trying to comfort her. She trembled and pressed her lips together, not moving otherwise.

  “Are you feeling better?” Richard asked in a gentle voice, studying Sabrina.

  “Yes, thank you.”

  Richard glanced up at Chase, his eyes questioning, but Chase could only shrug. He had no idea what was going on in her mind. Richard was the one who had the Elder abilities that allowed him to read minds, not Chase, but Sabrina wouldn’t look up. Chase knew Richard needed to look into her eyes to read her, if she were unwilling. He wondered if Sabrina was doing it on purpose.

  Richard let out a quiet breath. “Sabrina, I’d like to introduce my friend, Tom Pendleton, and his son, Tommy.”

  Sabrina looked up and gave them a nervous smile.

  “Also, Ethan Marlow, an army buddy of Chase’s.”

  Sabrina gave Ethan a slightly less nervous smile and studied him for a moment before her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open slightly. “I know you,” she said, then pressed her lips together and shook her head. “Never mind.”

  “What do you mean?” Chase asked. When she shook her head again, he squeezed her hand gently. “Please, don’t be afraid to tell me.”

  She looked up, making eye contact with him. He felt a rush of energy flow through his body. She was reading him. So she knew she had that ability, at least in some form. Interesting.

  “I-I saw him. With you.” She looked away. “In the desert.”

  Chase looked over at Ethan, eyebrows raised. She’d just confirmed that what had happened in Syria hadn’t been a dream. Ethan had seen her there, too. His friend’s eyes were wider than he’d ever seen them.

  “You were really there?” Chase asked.

  Sabrina looked down at their joined hands. “I remember you were really hurt.” She looked up. “You couldn’t breathe.”

  “That’s right.”

  She reached up slowly to trace his scar on the side of his face. “What happened?”

  “Happened at the same time. Just crap flying through the air.”

  “I didn’t see that,” she said sadly, looking like she felt guilty. She started to pull her hand away, but he grabbed it with his other hand.

  “You saved my life, Sabrina.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ethan nodding. “My lungs had gotten really fu— er, messed up. If you hadn’t come, I would have died.”

  Sabrina blinked several times. “Really?”

  He nodded.

  “He was in really bad shape, Sabrina,” Ethan added. “I know bad stuff when I see it.”

  She looked between him and Ethan several times, then smiled. “I did something good?” she whispered, her eyes watering slightly.

  The way she said it made it seem like she’d never done anything right in her life before and it took his breath away. Had those monsters really been so horrible as to make her feel like a complete failure? What kind of person does that? Physical abuse was bad enough, but to mess with someone’s mind like that? Psychological warfare was a nasty business.

  He inhaled quickly, suddenly thinking he might understand what made Sabrina withdraw from him. Was it possible she thought she wasn’t good enough for him? Jayson had mentioned that she called herself a whore. He knew women who put themselves down, usually to garner attention, but if Sabrina truly felt like she was at fault for what happened to her . . . No wonder she freaked out when he told her he wanted to marry her.

  It all made sense now.

  Good job, Chase.

  Chase looked up to see Theo in the doorway of the room, smiling sagely at him.

  I’m right?

  Theo gave a single nod. Yes. And now you know your battlefield. It will be a difficult war, but the most important one in your life.

  Chase exhaled and looked back at Sabrina. “Yes, you did something very good.”

  Hope lit in her eyes for a moment before she looked away.

  One battle at a time. Give her time to absorb it.

  Chase nodded and looked up at Richard, who he knew had a lot of questions for Sabrina.

  “Sabrina, what do you remember about being taken this past weekend?” Richard asked.

  Sabrina swallowed and began to recount the last few days. She didn’t go into much detail about what the man had done, but she didn’t need to. Chase had seen the results all over her body. The details she did give gave him chills. How could someone survive all that? Well, he knew the answer. A human couldn’t survive it, but an Immortal could.

  “Neil said the other person was my Master, too, and that he’d see me soon and I’d remember everything.”

  Goosebumps popped up on Chase’s arms as Richard and Tom looked at each other, alarmed. Theo stiffened and moved closer, looking at Sabrina closely.

  “Master?” Richard repeated.

  Sabrina nodded and finally looked up. “It made me feel funny when he said that, but I don’t know why.”

  Richard looked thoughtful for a moment. “And you don’t remember any Master?”

  She shook her head. “I feel . . .” She sighed and shook her head again.

  “What do you feel, Sabrina?” Tom asked. Chase could see the concern in his eyes, but he kept his voice calm.

  She sighed. “I feel as if I should know something about it, but I really can’t remember anything.” She looked up at Theo. “I don’t understand why.”

  Theo nodded and held out his hand. “May I?” he asked, not touching her.

  She hesitated for a moment, then nodded. Theo knelt in front of her and placed his hand on her head once more, but Chase knew he wasn’t healing her. He was delving deep into her mind. He’d done the same thing to him when she’d called out while she was missing.

  Silence hung heavy as Theo searched Sabrina’s mind. Chase glanced at Richard and Tom, who watched intently. Tommy gave him a reassuring smile.

  Sabrina still held his hand and she tightened her grip a few times. Finally, Theo leaned back on his heels, looking frustrated. “He is powerful, this Master of yours,” he said, frowning. “He has blocked off your memories and even I cannot see them.” He looked at Richard. “There is a bond, but it is not especially strong. He has used fear and abuse to gain his power over her. You must be alert and wary of whomever wants her. Deception is his specialty, and he will stop at nothing to get what he wants.”

  “How do you know?” Tom asked.

  “Because of the method he has already used. This is very ancient magic that I have not seen—” He stopped mid-sentence and his golden face turned ashen.

  Of all the things Chase had experienced in his life, and he had not been sheltered in the least, the sight of an Immortal going pale was the most frightening thing he’d ever seen.

  “Theo?” Richard asked, voice trembling slightly. Both he and Tom looked very worried.

  “You must protect her at all costs, Elders,” he said, his voice solemn and deep. He stood, glowing and looking more Immortal than Chase had ever seen him. “He must not have her, or all is lost. I must go.” He leaned down and kissed Sabrina on the forehead. “Daughter, trust them. They are good men. They will protect you and love you.” He glanced at Chase with a nod, then
looked at Richard. “She is Koriathanati. I leave her in your care. Do not fail me.”

  He disappeared in a flash of light, the room suddenly becoming silent and somber. Chase was afraid to breathe, let alone look around the room to see everyone’s reactions.

  “What does that all mean?” Sabrina asked after a few moments, her voice shaking.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Sabrina stared at the spot where Theo had stood. Was he a different kind of Immortal than Khyan? She’d never seen anyone disappear like that before. Maybe that was the difference between the two beings. Maybe Theo really wasn’t an Immortal. Maybe he was another kind of being who could appear and disappear at will. He felt the same, at least on the surface. But he was kind. She’d never met an Immortal who was kind before. Not that she’d met any besides Terric and Khyan. She knew she couldn’t disappear at will. If she could, she’d have done it years ago.

  She still felt him inside her mind. He had searched her memories, but there was a spot he couldn’t see. He tried different ways, but it remained like a locked door that couldn’t be picked or broken into. She felt his concern, but it was more than that. It was fear.

  That didn’t make her feel very good. He was obviously a very powerful being. What could scare him so much? At first, she thought she scared him, but then realized it was because of that black spot in her memory.

  “What does that all mean?” she asked, looking at Chase, then Richard. They both looked upset and she feared she had made them angry. What had she done this time?

  “Sabrina, you didn’t do anything,” Richard said, his expression sincere. He looked at the spot Theo had disappeared from, then back at her. “Do you know what Theo is?”

  She frowned, thinking back to her earlier thoughts. “He feels like an Immortal, but he’s nice. And he can disappear. Is he some kind of Immortal? A special kind or something?”

  “As far as I am aware, there is only one kind of Immortal. You’ve met them before?”

  Sabrina nodded. “Terric, who was with Neil . . . He’s one. And . . .” She hesitated. “Khyan, my biological father, is one.” She didn’t want to tell them that her father was also her grandfather and great-grandfather. They would surely be disgusted with the idea. It surprised her that none of them looked surprised at her pronouncement. “Do . . . do you know what I am?”

  Chase squeezed her hand and the others nodded. “We knew you were an Immortal of some kind.” He exhaled. “What was that term Theo used, Richard?”

  “Koriathanati,” he answered. “It’s . . . We have several half-Immortals in our world, but you . . . You are far more than that.”

  “There are others like me?”

  Tom smiled. “Well, not exactly like you, but similar. Demi-Immortal women, usually half-Immortal and half-human. But you are . . .” He looked up at the ceiling, squinting, and then at Richard. “Your father and grandfather, at least, are Immortal, too, so you’re at least three-quarters Immortal.”

  Sabrina nodded. “That was my mother. I’m . . . more.” The men all stared at her. She fidgeted with the edge of her sweater.

  “Wow,” Ethan breathed.

  “I wish I weren’t,” she said softly, shoulders slumping.

  “Why?” Tommy asked.

  She looked up, not understanding how he could ask such a question. “Why would anyone want to be?” she asked, her voice breaking slightly. “What good is it? It’s . . . It’s . . .” She struggled to find the word. “It’s evil,” she said finally, keenly aware of Chase next to her. She leaned forward and rubbed her face, more confused than ever.

  “Why do you say that?” Chase asked in a gentle voice.

  “All we do is hurt people.” Khyan hurt her. Terric hurt her. She killed people. What good was it to be Immortal?

  “Theo didn’t hurt you, did he?”

  “That’s why I asked if he was a different kind,” she said in a low voice, still staring at the floor.

  “Sabrina, there are good and bad Immortals, just as there are good and bad humans,” Tom explained. “It saddens me to know you’ve only experienced evil ones.”

  She sat up and grimaced. “Why? Why would you care? You don’t know me.”

  “Why do I have to know you to care if you’re hurt?”

  Sabrina paused, staring at Tom. She’d never considered such a thought. But she knew what she was. She was the bad kind. She hurt people, too. She looked away again. “You don’t know me,” she whispered.

  Chase cupped her chin and made her look at him. “Do you think you’re the bad kind?”

  Her jaw trembled and she widened her eyes. How did he know? Could he read minds like Richard and Theo? His soft gaze made her wish harder than ever that she wasn’t one. That she was just a normal, human girl. But she wasn’t, and she needed to accept that. She tried to look away, but he wouldn’t let her.

  “Whatever they told you, whatever they made you believe, it’s not true, Sabrina. You’re not a bad person. You’re a sweet, strong woman who was kidnapped and abused.” His voice cracked. “But you are not bad, Sabrina. You’re not.” He emphasized the last words.

  She wanted to believe him more than anything.

  But she knew better than that. She knew what she’d done.

  *****

  Chase looked at Richard and jerked his head toward the hallway, hoping he and the others would understand he needed some privacy with Sabrina. He had to get through to her somehow, but having an audience wouldn’t help.

  Richard nodded and stood, motioning to the others to follow him. When they were gone, he looked back at Sabrina, who sat next to him, hands folded in her lap, head hanging, her whole body trembling.

  “Sabrina. Talk to me. Why do you think you’re a bad Immortal?”

  “Because I am.”

  “Why?”

  She sighed. “Because of what I’ve done.”

  “What did you do?”

  She shook her head.

  Maybe he needed a new approach. “Do you think what happened to you was your fault? That you being taken was your fault?”

  She shook her head again. “You should take me home, Chase. You needn’t bother with me.”

  “Bother with you?”

  She looked up. “You don’t want to marry me,” she whispered in a broken voice. “You deserve someone better.”

  “Better?” he exclaimed softly. “Why would you say something like that?” But he knew why. She believed she was a whore. It was a deep belief that had probably been ingrained into her head for years. “What happened to you, what they did, it doesn’t define you. You aren’t what they made you do.”

  She was quiet for a long time. Tears started running down her cheeks. When she finally looked up, her eyes were defiant. “I liked what they made me do,” she choked. “I liked it. I got off on it. I accepted it and joined in on it.” She stood and paced across the room, then back. “I got off on the pain.” She jabbed her finger toward the window. “When I was taken, when I was with Neil . . . Some of it felt good. The pain . . . It somehow makes the pleasure feel even better.” Tears streamed down her face and she crossed her arms, her expression daring him to speak. “I did unspeakable things for Khyan and Ramon. They asked and I did it. And I liked it.”

  When she started pacing again, he stayed quiet. She was finally talking, and he wasn’t going to do anything to stop it. The dam had burst and it needed to be emptied.

  “I caused my mother and my grandmother to die horrible deaths. Because of me, because of my weakness, because of my stupidity, they died. So painfully.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I can still hear their screams as Khyan did . . . it.”

  He could only imagine what it had been like to see someone tortured to death. He’d seen what Neil had done to her, but her visceral reactions told him that was nothing compared to what she’d seen and experienced before she
’d escaped to Boston. He wanted to run to her, wrap his arms around her, and take away the pain. But he knew he had to let her finish.

  Her eyes snapped open. “Do you know how I escaped?” she asked, her voice hoarse. “I killed them. I killed them all with my bare hands.” She held up her hands and looked at them.

  When she spoke again, her voice was soft and full of pain. “Do you really want to be with a murderer? With a whore who gets off on pain?” Her chest heaved, her face was red, her eyes wide with terror and defiance. “You are the best man I have ever met. You deserve far better than someone like me.”

  He searched her eyes and knew she was done. His heart broke for her pain, for everything she’d been through. He slowly stood and walked across the room to stand in front of her. He cupped her chin. She looked up at him, eyes turning fearful. She had bared her soul to him. It was only fair he do the same.

  “I try and be a good man, but I’m not. I’ve killed before, Sabrina. I’ve killed for my country, I’ve killed for jobs, but I’ve killed in anger, too.” He closed his eyes, remembering the scene. “In Syria, before you came to me, we were searching a village. We knew insurgents hid there. It was the middle of the night and I heard a little kid crying and screaming. I left the team to go search. I couldn’t tell if it was a boy or girl. I only heard the cries.”

  He felt his blood boil as he remembered what he saw as he walked into that upstairs room. A little boy was bent over a table in the corner as a man raped him from behind. The boy could only have been ten or so and he was screaming in pain. Chase walked over and grabbed the man’s head, breaking his neck with one twist. The little boy had screamed as the man fell and started hitting Chase, then he knelt and hugged the dead man crying out “father” in Arabic.

  “It was his father. His father was raping him, and the boy was angry that I had killed him,” he said slowly. He looked at Sabrina. “Was I wrong?” he asked, his voice cracking like a teenager going through puberty. He’d never told anyone about that. Not even Ethan knew. He’d slipped back to his unit, claiming to have gone to take a piss when asked where he’d disappeared to.