Master of My Heart

by Marissa Honeycutt

  Kathy looked thoughtful. “Because of her abuse, I suppose it’s hard to know how she’ll react. Women can be a little touchy about sharing their husbands.”

  “I know,” Chase said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “Is it even fair to pursue her if my life is the way it is?”

  “Well, you know Richard and I wouldn’t expect you to come over here if she were uncomfortable with it.”

  “I know you wouldn’t.”

  “But, regardless if it’s her or some other woman, you need to find a wife.”

  Chase sucked in a deep breath and blew it out. “How would your daughter take it? I mean, Richard’s had me go out with her in the hopes of something sparking. Would she really be okay with being in a position like you?”

  Kathy looked amused. “I understand your concern now.”

  “Yeah.”

  Chase heard footsteps approaching. A moment later, Richard appeared in the doorway. “I thought I heard voices.”

  Kathy motioned to Chase. “He was asking me about how I dealt with you and your responsibilities.”

  “Ah.” Richard walked over and sat down next to his wife, putting his arm around her shoulders. “Sabrina?”

  Chase nodded. “I don’t know how she’ll react to any of it.”

  Richard stroked his chin. “Well, going to a Gathering would help. You need to encourage that.”

  “I know.”

  Kathy put her hand on her husband’s knee. “Does she even know what happens at them? Is she going to walk in and be shocked?”

  Richard looked thoughtful, then nodded. “I see what you mean. We didn’t do a good job of explaining that sort of thing to her.”

  “I don’t think she could have absorbed any more information that day, Richard,” Chase said. “She was overwhelmed already.”

  “It’s a lot to deal with, love,” Kathy said.

  “It is.” Richard shook his head. “I know a little about dealing with victims of abuse, and I know how to deal with Elder-Mistresses, but the combination of the two is challenging.” He looked at Chase. “Have you asked Alex?”

  “I’ve talked with him a bit. But Anna knew about the Gatherings from the beginning. That’s where she met his dad and brother.”

  “In some ways, Sabrina’s so innocent,” Richard said thoughtfully. “She knows what she is, but she thinks it’s all bad. She doesn’t understand the good part of herself.”

  “I told her I believe good things can come out of bad stuff,” Chase offered.

  “How did she respond?”

  “Well, she thought I was saying what happened to her was good. I pointed out that because of what happened, she trusted me now, which was a good thing. She seemed to understand.” Chase paused. “I didn’t want to get too in depth that night because it was late and she was tired. But I said we’d talk about it tomorrow.”

  “You’re seeing her tomorrow?” Kathy asked, looking pleased.

  “Yeah.” Chase smiled, remembering Sabrina’s shy smile when she admitted that she enjoyed dinner.

  Richard frowned. “You’re going to miss another Gathering.”

  Kathy put her hand on his knee and shook her head. “They need time together. Besides, you canceled tomorrow night anyway. We have plans with the mayor and his wife. Remember?” She turned back to Chase. “Chase,” Kathy said in a serious tone, “the most important thing in any relationship, especially marriage, is communication. Talk to her. Get to know her. Ask her questions.” She smiled. “She’ll open up to you and you’ll find the right time to tell her about you.”

  Chase frowned. “She only seems to open up when she gets angry, though. Well, opening up about the stuff that’s happened to her anyway. She was angry when she told me about what she did to escape.”

  “She’s scared, hon. Give her time to get to know you better and she’ll be able to open up about other stuff without using anger as a shield.”

  “I don’t have a lot of time, though,” he said, glancing at Richard.

  “Then you’d best see a lot of her in the next few weeks,” the older man said, softening his tone with a smile. “She has a connection with you, remember? She called out to you when she was taken. That doesn’t happen easily with demi-Immortals. Theo believes you two are meant to be together. Trust that what he said is true. Immortals are usually right.”

  Chapter Forty-Nine

  Returning to dancing was like returning home. Every movement of Sabrina’s body was an expression of joy. Her spirit joined with eternity as she warmed up, worked through her moves, and learned the steps for the many dances in The Nutcracker. Every step felt like a spiritual renewal. She’d always enjoyed dancing, but now it felt like she was being reborn every time she learned something new.

  The only hard part about her newfound joy was that her body seemed to be extra sensitive to touch. When she and Jayson had danced together before she was taken, it was hard enough to keep her body under control, but it was even harder now. His hands on her waist as she performed a pirouette, on her legs or hips when he lifted her . . . It was all so incredibly arousing, she felt ashamed.

  She knew Jayson had no clue. She could sense him even stronger now, and when he danced, he was completely focused and had no idea what he was doing to her.

  How could she be thinking about sex so quickly after all those horrible things Neil had done to her? What was wrong with her?

  Thursday night, her dreams were filled with naked men doing wonderful things to her. It was like when she was with Ramon, except they weren’t trying to hurt her. They were trying to please her. But how could they think beating her would bring her pleasure? It wasn’t nearly as hard as when Ramon did it, and it didn’t hurt as badly. It actually felt good.

  Why can’t I just be normal? A normal girl with normal sexual desires? Why did she dream of being spanked? Why did she dream of having multiple men worship her with their bodies?

  What would Chase think of such a thing?

  Maybe she should just go be Richard’s mistress. Everyone seemed to think she’d fit in there. Then she could be the whore she really was.

  But the thought of not being with Chase made her chest ache.

  *****

  Sabrina was determined to put the last two days behind her as she dressed for her date Friday evening. Well, the sexual frustration of the last two days anyway. The dancing had been wonderful. Even Martin had praised her and Jayson at the end of rehearsal earlier that day. She felt like a real ballerina now and couldn’t stop the smile from creeping across her face when she thought back over her dancing.

  Just push aside the dirty part of you, Sabrina. Pretend to be normal. Pretend your whole body isn’t quivering with desire for someone to touch you. She swallowed and shook her head. I can do this. She smoothed her purple skirt over her hips and adjusted her soft white sweater so it wasn’t twisted around her waist.

  Someone knocked on the apartment door, then she heard Ethan talking. Sabrina slipped on her shoes and walked out of her room to see Chase just inside the doorway. He smiled when he saw her, and her heart leapt in her chest.

  “Hi,” she said softly.

  Chase turned to her. “Hi,” he said, beaming. “How are you?”

  “Good.” She smiled.

  “Okay then. Have a good time.” Ethan grinned at Sabrina, then went into the living room.

  “Ready?” Chase asked. “Have your coat?”

  Sabrina scolded herself as she ran back into her room for her coat and purse, then hurried back to Chase, who waited with a smile on his face. “Sorry.”

  “No worries,” he said, reaching for her coat to help her into it. When his fingers slid against her neck, she shivered and felt her body awaken.

  She closed her eyes and swallowed, trying to get her body under control.

  “Ready?” he asked.r />
  *****

  Chase felt Sabrina shiver as his fingers trailed over her neck. His own body reacted to her soft skin and he scolded himself. Down, boy.

  He knew he wasn’t susceptible to her “abilities,” but she was still an extremely attractive and desirable woman.

  Chase and Sabrina walked down to the same sedan he’d borrowed from his mother the previous week. As they rode to their destination, he stayed quiet and hoped she wouldn’t run away from him this time.

  Downtown, they walked into an exclusive restaurant. This one was quieter, so he hoped Sabrina wouldn’t feel as overwhelmed as she had last week. He glanced at her as the hostess led them through the maze of tables covered in white linens to a table near a tall arched window that looked out on a small park.

  After they settled into their seats and ordered drinks, Chase studied Sabrina as she looked over the menu. She had a slight smile on her face and a glint of happiness shone in her eyes he’d not seen before.

  She glanced up at him and blushed. “Why are you staring at me?”

  “Why wouldn’t I want to look at the prettiest girl in the room?”

  Her cheeks darkened and she looked at the menu for a moment, then back at him, eyes lit up. “Really?”

  He nodded, eyebrows raised. “Of course.” She gave him that shy smile he was growing so fond of. He grinned. “You look happy. Happier than last week.”

  She gave a small shrug. “I’m trying.”

  “Trying to be happy?”

  She bit her lip and looked out the window. “I’m tired of being scared,” she said softly. “I want . . .” She sighed and looked back at him. “Have you ever read The Last Unicorn?”

  Chase tilted his head at the apparent change of subject. Had he pushed too hard? “I think I saw the movie when I was a kid. My mom loved it.”

  She smiled. “My mom would read it to me about once a year. It’s a wonderful story. But there’s a line in it that always stuck in my heart. It says, ‘The happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story.’” She looked out the window again. “There’s also something about heroes needing to have their burdens and sorrows or there is no fairy tale.” She shrugged. “I guess I’m trying to find perspective on everything that has happened.” She looked at him again. “Like you said, good things can come out of the bad.”

  Chase stared at her until she blushed and looked away again. He was the luckiest guy in the world. “You are so amazing,” he said softly.

  “Why do you say that?”

  “To find the wisdom in a childhood book and apply it to your life . . .” He smiled. “With everything you’ve gone through, many people would just collapse and be unable to cope. But you? You take a memory of your mom and a book and find strength in it.” He shook his head. “It’s wonderful.”

  She ducked her head, but he saw her smiling, albeit with embarrassment.

  “I wish I’d read the book now. I could have used that a few years ago.”

  “When you got hurt?”

  Chase nodded. “I had a hard time accepting that my life wasn’t turning out the way I had planned.” He took a sip of his wine and let the warmth soothe the ache that had opened at the remembrance of being told that he was going to be medically discharged. “I can see the good that came of it now, but back then, perspective was hard to find.”

  “Ethan said you were, um, difficult to be around.” She bit her lip even as her eyes twinkled with amusement.

  “Yeah.” He was quiet for a few minutes as he thought back to that time. “I was awful. It took me almost a year to accept what had happened, but I wasn’t a nice man during that time. I yelled at my mom and Richard all the time. I was angry at the world. Jayson even threatened to stop hanging out with me.”

  “I can hardly imagine that,” she said, studying him.

  “I lost all hope that anything good could happen again. My foot was crushed and I almost lost it. I had to have a bunch of surgeries in order to be able to walk again. For a long time, the doctors weren’t sure it would happen.” He sighed. “But my family and friends all stuck by me and helped me work through my grief.”

  *****

  Sabrina knew what it was like to lose hope, but she was weak. Chase was so strong and had his family and friends around him. How could he lose hope? She clung to a stupid childhood book and felt like she could lose hope at any moment. Her fingernails constantly dug into the ledge of sanity and she could barely hang on some days.

  “I’m glad you had them,” she said softly.

  “And now you have them, too. And me.”

  Sabrina looked up. “What do you mean?”

  “You’re not alone anymore, remember? They all care about you.” He reached for her hand. “I care about you. More than I could ever express fully.”

  She shook her head. “It’s different.”

  “Why?” he asked, his voice both urgent and soft. “What both of us went through wasn’t our fault. It happened to us.”

  “They stole my innocence,” she exclaimed softly in a broken voice. “You’re still a good man. Your character isn’t changed. Mine is.”

  “I am changed, Sabrina. I’m—” He paused. “I was wide-eyed and full of excitement when I met you. The hits life throws at you always change you, but it’s up to you to decide what kind of person you become through those trials.” He leaned forward. “You’ve told me what you did. I didn’t reject you, right? Why do you think I’m going to now?”

  She looked around the restaurant. No one was paying them any attention. “I know I told you stuff . . .” He was right. He hadn’t rejected her. But still . . .”Why did you encourage me to be with Richard?”

  “Encourage you?”

  She nodded. “When we were talking about it, you seemed to want me to choose to be Richard’s . . . Mistress thing.”

  Chase shook his head. “I—” He sighed. “No, Sabrina, that’s not what I was trying to do. I was—” He frowned. “I guess I didn’t want to pressure you into doing something you didn’t want to do.”

  “What does that mean?”

  He closed his eyes and took in a breath. When he opened them he smiled. “The last time I tried to tell you this, you ran away.”

  He means the marriage stuff. Was she open to hearing it now, though? “I promise, I won’t run away.”

  He searched her eyes. “Okay. But if you do, I’m gonna chase you down and hold you prisoner until you hear everything I have to say, all right?”

  She giggled at the thought, and he laughed along.

  He took a deep breath. “When we met years ago, you were the first woman I could ever imagine spending the rest of my life with. I’d met a lot of women, at least a lot for being my age, and I couldn’t see a future with any of them.”

  “We only talked for a few hours.”

  “A few hours were all I needed to know how I felt. And, even after all these years, I’ve still never met anyone who compares to you.” He reached for her hand and smiled. “I’ve gone out with other women, because I had to, but none of them made me feel the way you do.”

  Chase’s eyes radiated sincerity. Sabrina couldn’t seem to look away. Not that she wanted to.

  “I know you need time to adjust to being here, to being free, and you need to see what Richard offers. But I want you to know that I’m playing for keeps. I want to marry you. More than anything in the world. I just didn’t want you to feel obligated to choose me over Richard.”

  Sabrina studied his face. He was older now. Twenty-six or so. He was handsome before, but now . . . Maturity had made him more attractive. The jagged scar that ran down his cheek only added to his story, his character. She could imagine staring into that face, those eyes, for the rest of her life.

  “When I escaped, the first thing I thought about was seeing you. But then I realized it had been so long.” She sighed
. “I thought for sure you’d moved on. Gotten married and stuff.”

  The waiter returned at that moment and they ordered their entrees. When he left, Sabrina fiddled with her glass.

  “I didn’t,” Chase said simply. “I couldn’t, not knowing what happened to you.” He looked down at their hands, which had somehow found their way to each another again. “I know you need to see both sides before you choose. That’s why I said what I did. But I also need you to know that I want you in my life.”

  Growing up, Sabrina had watched her parents’ relationship and always imagined she would have one just like it. After she was taken, she gave up on that, but maybe it was possible after all. Maybe, with Chase’s help, she really could be a normal girl. He accepted her for who she was. “You’re the only one I ever imagined having a relationship with.”

  Maybe she really could have her happily ever after.

  Chapter Fifty

  Chase glanced at his watch and pulled out his wallet to pay the bill. “Are you up for a walk? The theater is only a few blocks away and it’s warm tonight.”

  Sabrina stared at him for a moment. “Warm?” She looked out the window. “Um. Okay.”

  Chase grinned at her doubtful expression. It was warm for Boston, but he could imagine it was chilly for her thin, desert blood. “We can drive if you want.”

  She shook her head. “No, that’s okay.”

  He smiled. After their serious discussion before dinner arrived, they’d relaxed into a similar feeling as their last date. He’d kept the subjects light, not wanting to stress her out with more intense conversation. It seemed to help because her eyes sparkled with happiness and she seemed at ease.

  “Why are you staring at me?” she asked, her cheeks turning pink.

  “Am I?” He hadn’t realized he’d been doing it, but he couldn’t seem to stop. “You’ve matured into a beautiful young woman,” he said, his eyes full of sincerity. “You were such a pretty girl, but . . .” He exhaled slowly. “You’re absolutely stunning all grown up.”

  She looked away, blushing terribly, but smiling all the same.