If You Still Want Me

by C. E. Kilgore

  A few miles later, I pull into the rest stop and park, only realizing too late that I've parked next to that damn car filled with college kids. Shit. "Saul-"

  "Think I'll get out an' stretch a bit," Saul says slowly, his eyes locked on the two guys standing next to the car.

  "Saul," Victoria's voice carries a warning, but Saul's already out the door.

  I exit in a hurry, coming around the front of the car to find Saul cracking his neck and shaking out his arms. It's the same stance he takes at the gym when he's about to lay a punching bag out flat. Saul may look like a skinny basketball player, but he's got a right hook on him that can knock you cold in a heartbeat.

  "Well, would'ya look at that, Mikey," one of the young punks wearing an A&M track team hoodie says to the other, beefier boy who looks more like he'd be tossing shot put stones than leaping hurdles. "Could'a a swore we passed ourselves an old grandma who couldn't see the speed limit signs."

  Mikey snorts, his chin lifting towards me. "Nah, just some 'Spic who probably couldn't read the signs 'cause they's in English."

  "Sumbitch," Saul hauls back, but I'm already at his front, standing in his way.

  "They aren't worth it," I plant my hands on the chest of his gray and orange U of T hoodie and give him a gentle nudge back.

  Saul refuses to back down. "Move it, amigo. Someone needs ta' teach these Aggies some damn manners."

  "Shit, he's a Longhorn," Track-boy laughs. "You know what they say 'bout University of Texas?"

  "Nothin' comes outta U.T. but steers and queers!" Mikey hollers.

  "I think we got ourselves a couple of the later," Track-boy laughs.

  Saul pushes back against me. "I'm gonna break your damn jaw then shove my cock down your throat!"

  "Calm it," I whisper. "We don't need this right now."

  "C'mon, José, let your friend go," Mikey urges, spurring Saul on as Victoria opens the passenger door. "Oh, shit, a chick, and she looks like she means business," he chuckles at the stern look on Victoria's face.

  "If she doesn't, I do." A new voice joins the chaos as a brunette-haired girl in maroon track team sweats gets between our two vehicles. "I swear to Christ! I leave you two numbskulls alone for two fucking minutes, and you're startin' shit with Longhorns?!"

  Saul relaxes slightly, as Victoria and I share a raised eyebrow before turning to the newcomer. It's immediately clear, as the two boys turtle a bit against their car, that this woman owns their asses. The girl glances to us then to Victoria's SUV and huffs.

  "Dammit, Trevor, these are the people you nearly ran off the road because you couldn't hold your piss. They aint exactly college kids, either, idiot. You owe them an apology."

  "But Misty-"

  "Not buts, mister, or I'll tell mom you need to retake that driving course."

  "Ah, hell," Track-boy, er, Trevor mutters to the sky before looking at us. "Sorry."

  "For?" Misty pushes, one hand on her hip. Victoria cracks a smirk. Yeah, I like this girl, too.

  "Oh, come on-" Trevor starts then seems to think twice. Giving in to his sister, he looks at us. "I'm sorry I nearly drove you off the road, but man, you were going like, twenty under, and I had to piss!"

  I nod, wanting to have the conflict ended. The three of us aren't a bunch of college kids. We have words that work better than fists. "I was distracted and slowed down without realizing it. Sorry for that."

  Misty smiles at me, giving me a long head-to-toe glance then crosses her arms and eyes the other boy. "Don't you have something to say, Mike?"

  "I wasn't driving," he shrugs then swallows when her eyes narrow. "Oh, crap. You heard...? Misty, I didn't mean... I'm not racist!"

  "No, but you're a damn ass-hat sometimes," she counters.

  "You'll never get a date now, man," Trevor snickers.

  "Asshole," Mike hisses with a punch to Trevor's shoulder. Misty clears her throat, Mike freezes then turns back to me. "Sorry for saying that stupid, ignorant shit. Sometimes, I got no control over my mouth."

  "That's what she said," Trevor laughs harder while rubbing his shoulder.

  "That doesn't even make sense," Mike grumbles.

  "Freshmen..." Misty groans with her eyes rolled upwards as Mike's shoulders slump.

  It's obvious the younger kid has a big-time crush on his buddy's older sister. "Hey, no problem, Mike, but thanks for the apology."

  Mike's lip ticks into a half-smile as he nods.

  Misty exhales and looks to Victoria. "We good?"

  Victoria's smirk blossoms into a grin. "Very. Have a safe trip."

  "Thanks," Misty returns the smile. "You, too." She turns back to the boys. "Okay, losers, back in the car, and give me the damn keys, Trev."

  "Yes, ma'am," Trev sighs, tossing her the keys then getting into the back as Mike races around to claim shotgun.

  Once they reverse out of the lot and pull away, I feel Saul slowly collapse against my hands. "Sumbitches," he mutters, but it sounds more exhausted than angry.

  "C'mon," I nod towards the bathrooms and he follows with clumsy steps.

  The boy is fighting everything right now. His anger. Our affections. Those college kids. His anxiety about Sarah. One wrong word, and I think he may snap.

  When we get back to the SUV, Victoria's already in the driver's seat and she motions for Saul and I to both get in the back. I nod in understanding and ease onto the seat followed by Saul. He leans on me as I wrap my arms around him, his tense shoulders slumping.

  "I'm sorry 'bout that," he sighs as we get back on the highway. "I done acted a fool."

  "You did," Victoria agrees. "We're adults, and adults don't pick fights with college kids."

  Saul's posture stiffens in my arms. "Yes, ma'am."

  "I know you're upset right now, sweetie," her voice softens and he relaxes again. "You'll feel better once we get home."

  Saul huffs. "I aint got no home."

  "You can share my room at Brandon's," I offer. "Or, I'm sure Victoria..." My eyes raise up to meet her glance in the rear-view mirror.

  "We'll figure it out, sweetie. I've been thinking about selling my flat in the city, anyway. Dallas is getting too noisy for my tastes, or maybe I'm just getting old."

  "I'm damn near thirty," Saul grouses, digging his bad mood in deeper as he tries to hold off any other feelings that might make him uncomfortable. "I should have a permanent place ta' hang my hat."

  "You should," I agree, then kiss his cheek. "I was thinking maybe we could find some land and build something for the three of us. Maybe have Joey and Alex give us a hand with the design?"

  "Good idea," Victoria smiles. "I can stay at the Stables a few nights a week with you two until we figure it out."

  Saul fidgets. "I don't want you havin' ta' commute all the dang time."

  Now, he's just arguing to be difficult. "You gotta commute, anyway," I poke his ribs and he squirms a bit.

  "Besides," Victoria adds, "I can do most of my work from my laptop. Brandon even said he's thinking about shutting down the physical office - having us all just go mobile."

  "Yet another thing he aint discussed with his partners," Saul grumbles.

  "Because his partners keep punching each other," I tease with more gentle pokes up his ribcage.

  "Dangit!" He tries to dart away, but I keep a firm grip as he fights the tickles. "Stop it, cowboy! I'm tryin' ta' have a serious conversation!"

  "No." I don't let up. "You're trying to be a right ornery brat. And, you know what we do to ornery brats," I growl into his ear. He stiffens then shivers, so I nip his earlobe. "If you continue to misbehave, Victoria and I will have to do something about that when we get home, and I promise you won't like it."

  His whole frame quakes in my arms. The distraction is working, because now he's refocused his anxiety into something besides anger. "You... you think so, amigo?"

  "I know so." I trail the tip of my tongue up the cusp of his ear with my eyes on Victoria.

  Her eyes in the rear-view sparkle with tha
t strong, sexual dominance that makes her so beautiful. "We'll make you watch, Saul. You won't be allowed to touch either of us, or yourself; not for an entire night, or two depending on how badly you continue to misbehave."

  "B-but..."

  "I will touch Victoria," my voice lowers as the imagery spurs my arousal. "She will touch me, and you will touch nothing. Is that what you want?"

  "N-no... No, sir."

  We both shift our positions on the seat, making it obvious our jeans are becoming a might bit uncomfortable. Victoria lets out a sultry chuckle that says she knows why, but her own hand betrays her as it lowers the heater setting before fanning her neck. Saul's bottom lip disappears between his teeth then pops out, moist and begging.

  Damn, this boy doesn't play fair.

  With a bratty giggle, he winks. "Think you can hold on until tonight, cowboy?"

  I take my voice down one more notch as I stare into his eyes. "I held out for two years, Saul. A few hours won't kill me."

  "Fuck," he whimpers.

  "Later." I fill the word with promise. "For now, I just want to hold you and try to catch up on some sleep. Is that okay?"

  "Of course," he smiles, snuggling into my arms.

  From the front seat, Victoria lets out her rare, pretty little giggle. "You two are so cute. If I could reach my phone, you'd be on Facebook by now."

  I snort to combat a sudden wave of my own anxiety about returning home. "Well, that's one way to let my Nana know..."

  "Yer Nana's on Facebook?" Saul asks while wiggling against my groin.

  Ai, not helping my patience for tonight. With an inhale to combat the tension, I dig my phone out of my back pocket. "Yeah. So is my sister. Maybe I should call her. Find out how things went with Cody and drop a hint or two about us."

  "Best to say that in person," Victoria says, and I know she's right.

  "Yeah," I get out through a yawn. Glancing down, I find Saul with his eyes closed and a sweet smile on his lips. "And probably when I'm not half asleep."

  "We've got another four hours on the road. Get some rest, both of you. "

  "Yes, ma'am," Saul and I speak softly together as I shut my eyes. With Saul in my arms and Victoria at the helm, I fall into the peaceful sleep I missed last night.

  Saul

  The familiar sounds of crunching gravel beneath tires, a car door opening and horses braying in the distance pulls me outta the sleep I'd fallen so deeply into. Austin's masculine scent is all around me, an' so are his warm arms. I fight the call to wake up, and the cold temperature seeping into the back seat through the open door, by burrowin' against Austin's body an' holding on tight. I think I'd like ta' stay right here for a long, long time.

  "Damn, that's cute," Brandon's scratchy baritone tugs me back awake.

  "Hey, boss..." Austin yawns then stretches against me. "Wow. We slept the whole way?"

  That fake-camera noise phones make precedes Vickie's snickering. I crack one eye open to see her pointing her phone at me an' Austin all sprawled out on the back seat 'a her SUV. Austin tenses a bit beneath me, so I ease up but not before stealing a kiss.

  "Aw," Brandon teases as he eyes the picture Vickie took.

  "For our eyes only, I promise," she assures Austin, who I know aint quite figured out how ta' tell his sister and Nana about our threesome. "Just a way for me to carry my boys around with me wherever I go."

  Austin exhales, his fingers holding onto my arm. "I'll have a talk with Annabelle this week, I promise. I don't want to hide it, even if my Nana will think I've gone loco."

  "Don't feel bad," I slide outta the seat and plant my sneakers on the gravel in the parking lot behind Brandon's estate, shivering a bit as I acclimate to the cold. "I still gotta explain things ta' Sarah. Speaking of," I direct my gaze and unspoken question to Brandon's scarred face.

  "Rob's at home," he answers, with caution heavy in his voice. "The kids are at Annabelle's and Sarah's at work. Kyle's been watching her. From a distance," he adds when my eyes narrow a bit. "I've got James on alert for trouble, but he can't spare any officers right now for what could amount to just a domestic disturbance."

  "It'll be a dang homicide if that sumbitch lays a hand on her." The threat hisses past my lips, all my earlier anger returning in a flash.

  "Saul-" Brandon starts, and I already know where he's goin'. Not rightly sure I wanna hear it.

  "I know, I know. The man just returned from servin' his country an' all that." My hands plant themselves on my hips. "He can't keep hiding behind an American flag and a uniform, Brandon. I've had enough 'a his shit screwin' up Sissy's life!"

  "The man needs help," Brandon counters my outburst with calm logic.

  Dangit. I hate it when he does that. "I aint arguin' that fact, neither. He should be in a treatment center instead'a passed out drunk on Sissy's couch."

  Brandon nods in agreement. "Sarah said he has an appointment with Veteran's Services, but they can't get him in until March. You know how backed-up they are."

  "Dang government," I grumble because I'm just looking for anything to gripe about. It's keeping me from hopping into my truck, driving out to the house and dealing with Rob. Then Kyle. Then Sissy. Hell, I'm so amped up, I might take that drive down to San Antonio an' deal with that closet 'a ghosts while I'm on a roll.

  "It's three-thirty," Austin says, looking at his phone. "What time does Sarah get off?"

  "Not sure," Brandon shrugs. "She wasn't supposed to be working today. Oh, and you should call Annabelle sooner than later."

  "Uh-oh," Austin winces. "What happened?"

  "Cody flaked out."

  "Flaked out? As in, he didn't propose? Ai, I told her not to get her hopes up. That boy-"

  "He broke up with her," Brandon sighs.

  "What?!" Austin tears off his hat and tosses it to the ground at his feet. "On New Year's?! I'm gonna string that stupid shit up by his balls! Why didn't Annabelle call me?"

  "She didn't want to bother you. She showed up here right after you and Saul left." Brandon holds up both hands as Austin's eyes widen. "I didn't tell her what exactly you were helping Saul with, but I think she may've figured at least part of it out. You know the girl's sharper than tacks and tough as nails, but this shit with Cody's thrown her a bit. Heck, she didn't even bat an eye when Bull came downstairs in his harness with his boy on a leash."

  "Yeah, about that... I kinda told her a few months ago about what really goes on during club nights," Austin admits with a scuff of his boot against the gravel. "Sorry, boss. I know you like to keep it private, but-"

  "That's okay," Brandon smiles, placing a hand on Austin's shoulder. "I'm glad she knows. Saves me from having to make excuses to her about Friday nights and Saturday mornings."

  "Is Bull's boy the detective you mentioned?" Victoria asks as I reach down and pick up Austin's hat, dusting it off.

  Brandon nods. "Seems to know what he's doing, coming in undercover, and-" Brandon stops as the rest of us laugh a bit. "Yeah, that too," he joins in the chuckles. "His name's Cole, but he's gonna make his debut this Friday as Bull's new boy under the nickname West. He'll take his time, get to know the members, and hopefully make friends with whoever's been leaking the secrets about my club to Forester for cash."

  "Hope so, boss," Austin exhales, passing a hand through his hair. "I'd hate to see you and miss Emma being caused anymore trouble. I promise Annabelle will keep the secret, too."

  "I trust her as I trust you," Brandon's reply expresses the love I know that man feels for Austin; the same kinda big-brotherly love he's got for all us wayward souls he's collected over the years.

  Handing the hat back to Austin, I share a look with Vickie who nods as she loops one arm around Austin's elbow. "Why don't we head to Annabelle's, sweetie?"

  "Sarah has ta' stop by there to pick up the kids," I add, slightly shocked at how calm my voice has become. I hate seein' Austin upset, and I think me worryin' about his happiness has helped to douse my own fire a bit.

  Vickie's th
ere, between us, keeping us all together; her strength our saving grace. "We can talk to Anna and get that sorted, then talk with Sarah when she shows up."

  "Alright," Austin nods, kisses us both on the cheek then steps away to dial his cellphone.

  "I'll take your suitcases in," Brandon says as he heads to the trunk. "You staying the night, Vic?"

  "I am," she replies as she helps him, but she stops me as I reach for my bag. "We'll get this. Stay out here with Austin."

  "Yes, ma'am." I step away from the trunk and mosey over to Austin who's talking into his cellphone in Spanish. I pick up a couple words, but he might as well be speaking Greek. Wonder what time in the morning Dora comes on the T.V., or maybe I can grab the episodes online.

  I think me learnin' Spanish is a good idea. It's Austin's first language, and Vickie can already speak it 'cause she was smart and took it in school. Plus, it's kinda sexy, especially with the way it rolls off'a Austin's tongue when his voice gets all low and-

  "¿Saúl?"

  Speakin' 'a sexy, Austin's accent is still thick as he says my name like Sa-ool. Damn if it don't make me shiver and hard in all the right places. My eyes dart back at the open door to the back seat 'a the SUV, my body desperate to curl around his again. With Victoria there with us this time.

  Ya know, I'm pretty dang sure that seat folds all the way back into a bed...

  Austin steps up close, sinking his hand into my hair. "You're drooling, mi amor."

  "Can't help it." Can't help my hands as they slide 'round his waist, neither. "Yer fault, talkin' all sexy."

  "What?"

  "Sa-ool," I attempt, but fail with a blush.

  "Oh, my accent? It's always stronger after talking to Annabelle for some reason. You like?"

  "Love it, amigo. Was thinkin' 'a learnin' Spanish myself, so I can keep up with you and Vickie."

  "I'd be happy to give you a few lessons, Saúl." With a tug on my hair, he has me stoop down low enough for his lips to brush my skin as he whispers sweet, Spanish nothings into my ear.