Oh, Baby!

by Judy Baer

  “Who is that?” she demanded imperiously. Sometimes I wonder how she and my mild-mannered father had sprung from the same DNA.

  Hugh glanced at Clay. “It’s a friend of Molly’s. A doctor.”

  Siobhan beamed a high-wattage smile on me. My aunt is a regal-looking woman, more handsome than beautiful with her high cheekbones and angular jaw. “Really? Molly, I must say I’m delighted. I’d nearly given up on you ever settling down. Now I see that you were just waiting for the right one to come along.”

  “But Clay and I aren’t…” Then I closed my mouth. Let my aunt think what she wants. It will keep her off my case, at least for tonight.

  The she turned her laser eye on Hugh. “And do you have someone here, too?”

  I kicked my brother in the ankle before he had a chance to answer. “Lissy is here,” I said.

  “But…” He began to protest and then saw where I was going with this. “Yes, Lissy. She’s a good friend of Molly’s. I’d like to get to know her better.”

  We were telling the truth, I reminded myself. Just not all of it.

  Siobhan patted us both on the heads like we were five years old. “I’m delighted with the two of you.” Then she scanned the room again. “Have you seen your cousin Michael? I hear he’s thinking of dropping out of school. I need to put a stop to that immediately.”

  She sailed off, her chest held high, like the figure-head on the prow on an old English ship headed out to sea. And we were free.

  Hugh and I high-fived each other and grinned.

  “I think I’m going to really enjoy this party for a change. I won’t be Siobhan’s project for the evening.”

  I glanced around the room. Uncle Jerry was pulling out his bagpipes, and Liam had cornered Tony to discuss motorcycles, Liam’s favorite topic.

  “You’d better find Lissy and start hanging out with her so our beloved aunt doesn’t get suspicious.”

  Hugh nodded. “I’d recommend you do the same with Clay.”

  Once again unforeseen circumstances had thrown us together. Fortunately for my brother and me, there are a lot worse people to hang out with than Lissy and Clay.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  “So you’re a doctor,” Uncle Henry said as he eyed Clay, “and you deliver babies just like our Molly does.”

  “I don’t deliver babies,” I interrupted, hoping to divert Clay’s ire, but Uncle Henry would have none of it.

  Clay, however, didn’t seem to mind. He’d already realized that anything said in this crowd was probably worth ignoring. He was wise to pay no mind to any of it.

  “Did Molly tell you about our cousin Finn?” My uncle’s eyes began to sparkle and I groaned inwardly.

  “I don’t believe she did.” When Clay tries to be charming, he succeeds admirably.

  “Finn and his wife, Mary, live in the old country, out on a backward farm with no electricity or running water.”

  “I had no idea that it is still that way in parts of Ireland.” Clay listened attentively, his high, intelligent brow furrowed with concentration as my jokester uncle reeled him in.

  “Oh, indeed. Last year Mary went into labor with their firstborn. It was mighty exciting. I’m surprised Molly didn’t tell you about it.”

  Clay looked at me with one eyebrow raised. I shrugged helplessly and gave Clay a point for being patient with Henry, who takes a bit of getting used to.

  “The country doctor came by to help her deliver. Finn was a worried mess, you know. He kept pacing and fidgeting until the doctor, trying to keep Finn busy, told him to hold the lantern so he could deliver the baby.”

  My uncle’s eyes began to sparkle. “And lo and behold! A handsome baby boy was born!” Henry slapped his hand on his thigh enthusiastically. “And then—wouldn’t you know?—the doctor says, ‘Hold the lantern higher, Finn, I think there’s a second baby coming.’ Finn did as he was told and there she was, a beautiful daughter.”

  Clay smiled encouragingly at my uncle.

  “Then the good doctor told our Finn to move the lantern a bit to the left and a little closer, as it appeared that a third baby was coming.” Uncle Henry’s eyes grew wide.

  “Triplets?” Clay murmured.

  “Yes! Another beautiful baby girl. Of course by that time, our Finn was more than a little nervous. “‘Doctor,’ he said, ‘maybe I should put the lantern down now. I think it’s the light that’s attracting them.’”

  My uncle’s wheezy laugh filled the room as Clay realized he’d been had.

  “Don’t mind Hank,” my father said, carrying a fresh plate of ham. “The best six years of his life were spent in fifth grade.”

  I tucked my arm through Clay’s and led him as far away as I could from my barmy relatives. Aunt Siobhan had Tony in her clutches, and I couldn’t find Lissy or Hugh. They’d escaped the insanity without my noticing.

  “I’m sorry, I should have warned you about Uncle Henry,” I said as soon as Clay and I got to the back of my parents’ yard. “There’s no one in the gazebo. We can hide there.”

  Now that darkness was descending, we’d be shielded from the madness. Geranium trotted behind us, her hat slightly askew, so I prodded her into the gazebo, as well.

  “Poor baby, I didn’t mean to subject you to all of this. I know it’s humiliating….”

  “It’s okay, Molly. I can take care of myself,” Clay said.

  “I was talking to Geranium.”

  He sighed. “I guess I should have known. You’d never called me ‘baby.’” A charged pause filled the air. “But I suppose almost anything is possible here.”

  My gratitude for the night knew no bounds as embarrassment turned me bright red. The idea of calling Clay “baby” in any context was inconceivable.

  “Geri! Geri! Here piggy, piggy, piggy,” a childish voice called from the patio.

  “One of the kids wants Geri,” I murmured. I prodded my porky pig toward the gazebo door and helped her out. She grunted mildly and trotted toward the calling voice.

  After I closed the door, I retreated to the shadows of the bench next to Clay. “I know you didn’t think much of me before. Now you will probably never speak to me again. I realize that my family is colorful, but they are usually normal, sane and productive people. These family gatherings are where they let their hair down…and down…and down….”

  “Of course I’ll speak to you. I’ve said it before, you’re a lovely person, Molly.”

  “Stay out of Bradshaw birthing rooms and we can be buddies?”

  “Exactly.”

  “I’m as passionate about my beliefs as you are about yours. We run on parallel tracks, Clay. I don’t see any way for us to meet in the middle.”

  His silence was deafening.

  When he finally spoke his voice sounded ragged and resigned. “I realize you don’t know me very well, Molly, but you’ll have to trust me when I say I have had a lot more…experience—” his voice caught on the word “—than you.”

  “And education, too. But I’m good at what I do, and mothers love me….”

  “It’s a bridge I won’t cross.”

  “Parallel tracks it is, then.” I felt strangely sad as I said it. I’d enjoy having this man as a friend, but the obstacles were insurmountable.

  Scripture warns against being unequally yoked in faith. Being unequally yoked in how we view each other’s work is no small thing, either. That’s two strikes against us.

  “Is it just because of our work or is there something else?” Clay inquired softly. He shifted, drawing his body closer to mine.

  “I’m a believer and…”

  “I’ve mislaid my faith?” He rested his arm on the back of the gazebo bench and circled my shoulders, his hand rested casually—precariously—close to my arm. “I miss it, frankly. I come from a family of deeply Christian people….” His voice trailed away and I knew that he’d gone somewhere in his past that I was not invited.

  “If I can help…”

  He took my chin in his hand
and turned my face toward his. “You already have. You remind me of fun and laughter. I feel alive around you. I promised I’d think about this, remember? I’m known to keep my promises.”

  A flicker of hope teased at me. It was actually more than I’d expected. God was working, no doubt about that.

  “Besides…” He leaned forward and for a moment I thought he might kiss me. Any romantic idea was banished from my head by squeals and laughter outside. It came from the direction of the old playhouse in the backyard, one my father had built for us when we were children. A wooden ladder inside the playhouse led to the roof and to a rope ladder, which provided the playhouse with a second story in the branches of the old elm. Dad once threatened to tear it down, but such an uproar went through the family at the idea that he decided to maintain it for the next generation by shoring it up and replacing the rope ladder.

  “What’s happening?” Clay stood up and poked his head out of the gazebo door to scan the yard.

  “Who knows with my family? Whatever it is, it sounds big.”

  The sounds were bordering on hysterical.

  “Maybe someone needs a doctor. We should check it out.”

  The only kind of doctor my family needs is a head doctor, but I followed him out of the gazebo, anyway. The ruckus was on the other side of the lawn where my relatives were gathered around the little playhouse, hooting and pointing upward. Someone beamed a flashlight into the branches. My gaze followed the pointing fingers and I realized exactly what—or who—they were pointing at.

  My brother Hugh, his face as red as his hair, was sitting on a thick branch, like a leprechaun caught in a tree. But that wasn’t as weird as what else was in the old elm. Lissy was out on the branch with him, clinging to Hugh’s waist looking terrified that she might fall.

  “Looks like Hugh has a new girlfriend,” Caboose announced. “No wonder he hasn’t been able to keep any of the old ones. Hugh, bring her down from there and take her on a decent date!”

  If looks could kill, Caboose would have been toast.

  “Hugh Cassidy, I thought I taught you better than that!” my mother yelled into the tree. “She’s going to ruin her pretty clothes.”

  Jokes were flying fast and furious as Hugh and Lissy remained trapped, the beam of the flashlight playing on their humiliated faces.

  “Yeah, Hugh, listen to Mom!” Liam yelled. Then he gave a loud, obnoxious whistle. When Lissy and Hugh looked at him, Liam clicked a picture of them with the digital camera in his hand.

  Liam’s hobby is taking ridiculous photos of family members and blackmailing them later. Nice guy, my brother Liam.

  It was time for Molly to the rescue. “Go back in the house, all of you! You should be ashamed of yourselves. I’d climb a tree, too, to get away from you!” I started pulling on Caboose’s arm. “Go, go!”

  One by one, the group broke apart and reluctantly moved toward the house. Some of them walked backward so they could continue to observe the goings-on.

  “They’ll never get to earth with you watching,” I pointed out to whoever would listen. “It will be much easier for Lissy and Hugh to come down from the tree without an audience.”

  I waved my hands and they scattered like chickens.

  Finally the stragglers, my brothers in particular, disappeared into the house. Liam was already handing his camera around to show others the condemning photo.

  “They’re gone,” Clay announced. He, too, had a ridiculous smile on his face but at least he had the courtesy not to comment. “Let’s go to the house, Molly.”

  “No, wait.” Hugh’s voice from the branches was bleak. “There was no place to talk so we…well, we were just going to come down when they found us, but Lissy is scared to get on the ladder.”

  “It was fun coming up, but now it looks so far to the ground,” she said plaintively

  I looked at Clay. “It’s got to be you,” I said. “I’m not strong enough. If she fell we’d both come tumbling down.”

  He nodded and headed into the playhouse, up to its roof and mounted the rope ladder. He secured himself as best he could before opening his arms.

  “I’m here, Lissy. You won’t fall and if you do, I’ll catch you.”

  “And who will catch you?” She and Hugh shimmied toward the ladder together. Lissy tentatively put a foot on the ladder. “Oh, never mind, I’d probably rather die of a fall out of a tree than of embarrassment.”

  With Clay urging her on, Lissy slowly made her way down. They disappeared through the hole in the roof and emerged from the door of the playhouse. Lissy wore an expression so morose that I burst out laughing. Hugh appeared beside her quickly, having had the benefit of years of experience going up and down that particular tree.

  “I want to crawl home,” Lissy moaned.

  Hugh’s cheeks were so red they looked sore.

  “Frankly, I think it’s wonderful,” Clay drawled as he brushed imaginary dust off his trousers.

  We all turned to stare at him. Wonderful?

  “I was wondering how to get a break from the chaos myself. Molly and I found the gazebo. Your way was much more inventive.”

  “You think so?” Lissy breathed.

  “Brilliant. Hugh, you, of course, must be a master at foiling that gang in there.” Clay nodded toward the house and gave a mild shudder. “They’re out of my league, that’s for sure.”

  Hah. Yet I saw my brother’s shoulders lift as Clay deftly provided him with a response to the family waiting inside.

  “They drove us to it, didn’t they, Hugh?” Lissy said.

  “They did. The whole pack is nuts.” Hugh turned to me. “Save you, of course.”

  I didn’t feel like arguing.

  “I’ll bet you’ll go into the house,” Clay said, “and tell them if they weren’t all so curious you might be able to court a woman like she should be courted.”

  “You’re right,” Hugh said, his smile returning. “The best defense is a good offense. I’ll tell them off before they get a chance to start their teasing.” He turned to Lissy. “Are you game?”

  “I could get tears in my eyes,” Lissy offered helpfully. “Maybe they’ll think they made me cry.”

  “That’s good,” Hugh said. “Yes, make them ashamed of their behavior. It would serve them right…. Those meddling busybodies need someone to stand up to them….”

  “And Liam and his camera need to be separated,” Lissy added. They moved off, hatching their plan to save face.

  “Thank you.” I turned to face Clay.

  “For what?”

  “For reminding Hugh that he knows how to handle those jokers in there. For a minute I thought he’d lost his sense of humor.”

  “No wonder you are so spirited, Molly. It’s self-defense.”

  I put my hands on my hips and stared up at him. “Keep that in mind when you try to cross me again, Dr. Reynolds.”

  And before I realized what was happening, Clay leaned forward, and his lips brushed mine, knocking whatever bit of sense I’d had in my head clear into the neighbor’s backyard.

  “Clay, I…”

  But I couldn’t finish because at that moment Aunt Siobhan called out, “Molly, come to say goodbye. We’re leaving!”

  He smiled, took my hand and walked with me toward the brightly lit house.

  Hugh had several of our siblings and cousins backed against a wall and was haranguing them for their bad behavior. The smirky grins on our relatives’ faces were beginning to fade. Caboose, a relentless teaser and almost as bad as Liam, apologized to Lissy. I could see by her expression that she’d begun to enjoy the kerfuffle.

  Geri, her leprechaun’s hat still askew, was asleep under the table with two small children. Her little legs stuck straight out from her body, and one of the girls was holding her hoof in her hand like little best friends who’d dozed off after playing too hard. I thought I also heard a faint piggy snore but I could have been imagining it.

  Aunt Siobhan plowed toward Clay and grabbed his face
between her palms. “You’re a darling man. I’m so happy Molly finally got some sense. A doctor! Imagine! I hope we see you again soon, dear boy.”

  “Dear boy” smiled charmingly at my irrepressible aunt. “It’s been my pleasure. Your family is delightful.”

  Siobhan looked around and smiled almost tenderly. “It is, isn’t it?” And she was off to kiss someone else good-night.

  What’s more, all the females in the family managed to sidle over to give Clay a good-night kiss on the cheek. I, on the other hand, got several thumbs-up signs and one silently mouthed “You go girl.”

  If they knew of the battle Clay and I were waging, I doubt that at the moment even one of my relations would have taken my side over his.

  Tony sauntered up to me holding three plastic containers. “Your mother is sending me home with food. Isn’t it great?”

  “Women love to feed you, Tony.”

  “What’s your secret?” Clay inquired curiously.

  He could use a few tips, I thought to myself.

  “‘Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.’ Billy Shakespeare always advises me well.” His eyes twinkled, and the reason for his appeal was obvious.

  “Where did Lissy go?” I glanced around the room.

  “I lost my date,” Tony continued. “Your brother took Lissy home. I think they had a few more things they wanted to say to each other.”

  “I’ll bet.”

  “They made a great recovery,” Tony said. “Hugh came storming into the house scolding everyone for being impolite. People started apologizing until I think they almost forgot they’d caught him stuck in a tree with a lady.” Tony kissed me on the temple. “Thanks for the party. Best one yet. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  My mother joined us in the entry, wiping her hands on her apron. “Our little bash was a success, don’t you think, Molly?”

  “Tony says it’s the best he’s attended, and he knows a good party.” Impishly, I added, “Hugh and Lissy brightened it considerably.”

  Mother shook her head. “They are a nice couple. I hope they realize it for themselves.”

  “You can see that? Until tonight I’d never really put the two together in my mind.”