Desire Me

by Skye Malone

  The bitter resolve on both their faces isn’t shifting. Beyond them, I can see Leaf and Blue, their fangs already peeking over their lips and their expressions much the same.

  It makes me want to put myself between them and this girl.

  I look back at her. She’s mumbling to herself about butterflies and tracing patterns through the gravel bits on the floor like a child finger-painting.

  But I can see it, that mist around her. The horrible wrongness of it, like a poisonous creature with its tentacles woven into her skin.

  And more than that.

  I start toward her.

  “Cait,” Amar protests.

  I ignore him. I can see… something. Her, I think. The girl past the madness, before the madness. It makes my head hurt, as if my eyes are sending messages my brain can’t interpret. But it’s like the other girl in the hospital. Like Ruby too, a bit—though I’d been so upset I hadn’t really picked up on it then.

  She’s still there.

  “Dammit, Cait, don’t—”

  “Let her,” I hear Katsuro say behind me. “Please.”

  I crouch down just beyond the limits of the girl’s leash. She doesn’t look up, but an excited grin twitches over her face. She seems to have forgotten about Amar’s attempt completely. As if operating on its own, one of her hands lurches toward me. Her other hand moves, snagging it and pulling it back to the task of tracing swirls in the dust.

  “Flap flap.” She giggles. “Pretty butterflies, flap flap.”

  I struggle to ignore the words and the fact I don’t really know what I’m doing, and I reach out cautiously to rest my fingers on her arm. The excited twitching on her face increases. I struggle to ignore that too. I know the Touched want what we can give them. That they can feel the magic inside us. And at any moment, she might attack.

  But she’s chained and I have to try.

  My head throbs while I clasp her wrist. Something is there beyond the toxic mist. Something weird. Cold, yet with flashes like fire. But it’s not the same as this fog around her, and like the hospital girl, if I just reach out… if I just push back on that wretched, stinging mist like this…

  The girl gasps, her cornflower blue eyes flying wide, and she starts to recoil. As quickly as I can, I grab her arm with my other hand to keep her from retreating. A choked shriek leaves her, but she freezes, her gaze locked on me. Pain twists over her face, and then horror too. It hurts to see. Who knows what this girl went through? What the goddamned House of Linden put her through?

  But the mist is retreating. Changing. Going back inside her like it did with the girl from the hospital. Shuddering breaths leave her while it vanishes. Like a ragdoll, she sags to the ground.

  I release her arm, my heart pounding as if I just ran a mile in a minute. My head spins and I reach out, trying brace myself on the roiling concrete.

  Hands grab my shoulders. Pull me up from the ground and away from the girl. I look over, finding Amar.

  “Cait?”

  “I’m alright.” With effort, I straighten and take a step farther from him.

  He lets me go. From the corner of my eye, I can see the discomfort on his face.

  I turn away.

  The girl starts moving, drawing my attention. She’s still seated on the ground, but she’s looking around like she’s trying to figure out where the hell she’s ended up. And then her bright blue gaze lands on us.

  My brow twitches down. Something still feels wrong. I don’t know what it—

  “You,” the girl gasps. Her gaze darts across Katsuro’s people. Amar. “I know you. All of you. In the dream, you…” Alarm crosses her face. She looks away from us.

  I glance to Katsuro and Amar, lost.

  “It worked,” the girl breathes.

  Confusion hits me. Huh?

  “I saw you,” she continues, a shaky grin taking the place of her alarm. “I knew you’d come. I never told him. I kept it secret. But I knew. And—”

  Her brow furrows sharply and she flinches, staring at the ground for a heartbeat like she’s seeing something in the concrete. And then just as sharply, she looks up again.

  Straight at me.

  “Hiding won’t save you,” she says.

  My sense of something wrong grows a hundredfold. My skin crawls like it’s covered in ants and suddenly, I want to be as far from this girl as possible. It’s like the weirdness I felt beneath the mist. Like the cold and the fire. But not the same. Not exactly.

  Amar’s hand takes my upper arm and I jump, realizing I’ve started to retreat. I tug my gaze from the girl to find him studying me. He’s picked up on my unease; I’d swear by it. But he doesn’t say anything, looking instead to Katsuro.

  “Still there,” Amar comments quietly.

  Katsuro meets his eyes. I shiver at the tension there, and at the question hanging in the air of what happens next.

  But then Katsuro turns to me. “What’s wrong?” he asks flatly.

  My head shakes. “I’m not sure. I—”

  “Who are you?”

  I blink, my attention snapping back to the girl. She’s staring at us.

  “You were in my dream,” she continues, her voice like a frightened child. “The horrible, horrible—”

  Her brow furrows and her gaze drops away like she’s fighting off a terrible memory. The sight sends a pained sensation through me. It’s so similar to that expression Ruby had when her mind went back to what Volgert put her through.

  “We’re here to help you,” I manage.

  She looks up to me fearfully. “Help?”

  “We’re going to get you out of here. Back to your family or… you know.” I shrug awkwardly. “Someplace safe.”

  She stares at me for a heartbeat and it’s everything I can do not to run. It’s her eyes. Something about her eyes. I can’t put my finger on what—

  “You’re not human.” The girl turns toward Katsuro. “You’re… Are you monsters?”

  “No.” Katsuro’s voice is placid as a windless lake. “And no. We’ve come to help you, that’s all.” He pauses. “What’s your name, child?”

  She bites her lip briefly. “Penny Campbell.”

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Penny. If you would allow us, may we remove those chains?”

  My heartbeat flies higher. That’s a bad plan. I have no idea why, but I know—I just know—it’s a bad plan.

  Something’s wrong with her eyes. In her eyes.

  Katsuro’s gaze flicks to me, fast and then gone, but I get the impression my nascent panic attack hasn’t escaped his notice. Without a word being spoken, his people shift their positions ever so slightly to better surround Penny. At the same moment, Katsuro nods to Ram, who goes toward her.

  The girl lifts her chin cautiously, watching Ram like she’s afraid he’ll bite. In a sharp motion, Ram pulls the collar apart, breaking the lock, and then he returns to Katsuro’s side.

  Rubbing her neck, Penny looks to Katsuro. “So… can I get out of here?” A thread of desperation runs through her voice. “Please?”

  “Of course,” Katsuro replies evenly. “We just need to make certain it’s safe first.”

  Her brow furrows. Her gaze twitches over the others. “O-okay. Um…”

  She moves to rise, her pale hands bracing her on the concrete, but her legs buckle like a newborn fawn. With a frightened gasp, she stumbles. One of Katsuro’s people reaches out to catch her before she hits the ground.

  And everything happens too fast. She tumbles against the man. He staggers. And then somehow, she’s standing upright and the gun from the guy’s belt has ended up in her hand.

  Aimed at Amar.

  “Don’t try it,” she warns him. “I won’t miss like those ones at the little house in the woods did. I know I won’t. You do anything with that wicked curse of yours, and you’ll be dead before I hit the ground.”

  She grins as if she’d actually enjoy proving her ability to do exactly what she’s said. And in an instant, I realize what
I’ve been seeing.

  There’s nothing in her eyes. Her face says one thing, and on the surface, her eyes do too. And it looks real—so real.

  But it’s not.

  Beneath that surface, beneath whatever is on her face at the moment, there’s just… nothing. It’s like every emotion, every reaction, every expression is simply a theater mask that she’s picking up and then setting aside as convenience dictates.

  While there’s only a soulless void underneath.

  “What is this?” Katsuro demands. “Why are you—”

  “Because I want to,” Penny interrupts like it’s obvious. “That’s what your kind—sorry—” She giggles. It sets my teeth on edge. “Our kind. That’s what we do, isn’t it? Whatever we want, to whomever we want. That’s why I’m here. Some monster—and you’re all monsters—decided to do this to me for fun.”

  She shudders, her humor vanishing like it never existed. “So now I’m going to have fun. The doctors called me a monster too, and I think I’ll prove it. It’s just a word pathetic people use to describe those they fear, after all.” She smiles coldly. “I’m going to tear this big ol’ world of monsters into itty-bitty pieces and I’m going to watch it burn like pretty little butterflies glowing in the sky. I know what’s coming, after all. I’ve seen it changing up this world in a way no one’s witnessed in a thousand years.” Her expression reminds me of a jackal. “And I can’t wait.”

  Not taking her eyes from Amar, she backs toward the door. Katsuro’s people glance to their leader and then silently retreat, giving her space.

  She reaches the door and tugs it open without looking at it. “Let me tell you something, Death,” she says to Amar. “You’re not going to kill me. I’m sure of it. Do you know why?”

  Penny glances to me. Her grin returns, bright as a photo flash.

  And she pulls the trigger.

  Amar staggers. Without a heartbeat’s hesitation, she swings the gun toward me and I hear another gunshot. But instantly, Katsuro slams into me and then the ground does too. Pain bursts through my arm, my side, and all the air rushes from my chest. The weight on me shifts and vanishes quickly, and I hear more gunfire and people shouting, but I’m just looking for Amar. I have to find Amar.

  He’s on the ground.

  A strangled cry escapes me. I scramble toward him on hands and knees because standing will take too damn long, and then my palms land in blood. His blood.

  Oh god please no.

  He gasps. He’s gripping his midsection and agony lines his face. People are moving around me, but I barely see them. Frantic, I press my hands to his, trying to hold the wound closed. Blood wells between my fingers.

  “Amar,” I beg. “Please, Amar, just—”

  Someone crouches beside me and attempts to move me aside. I shriek, struggling to shoulder them away without taking my hands from him. And they’re yelling at me, this person. Yelling muffled words that make no sense.

  I look up.

  “Cait!” Leaf glares at me. “You have to let me—”

  I choke on a scream.

  “Please.” Blue appears on the other side of me. “We can—”

  “Don’t you touch him!” I shout. “You’re not feeding on—”

  Blue grips my arm. I can’t shake off her grasp. “We won’t,” she says firmly. “But Leaf was a doctor before he was turned, and he needs to help Amar right now.”

  I stare at her. It takes a moment before I can make myself trust the words enough to move.

  Leaf takes my place immediately. Blue draws me away with her and helps me rise to my feet. With more strength than it seems like she should have, she pulls me around.

  With effort, my eyes focus on the rest of the room.

  People are coming back through the door, frustration on their faces. Katsuro is talking to them. Shouting, really. Ram is on his cell phone. The thing looks tiny in his fist and, from the rage on his face, I’m amazed he hasn’t crushed the device.

  Katsuro turns toward me and my brows climb. Bullet wounds puncture the side of his chest. I don’t see much in the way of blood, but—

  “You’re hurt,” I sputter.

  He glances to the wounds briefly. “Better me than you.”

  “Did they find her?” Blue asks.

  He hesitates. “They will.” His gaze flicks over the rest of the room before returning to Blue. “Get Cait out of here.”

  “No,” I protest immediately, “I have to stay with—”

  “We’ll take care of Amar. Just go.”

  I falter at the insistence in Katsuro’s eyes and chills run through me when I think of the reason why. Penny could still be here. Or she could be waiting outside.

  Or anything.

  I nod. “O-okay. But you have to get him out of here too. Please.”

  Blue’s grip on me tightens. Over my shoulder, I cast a glance to Amar. Leaf is still crouched beside him. I can’t be sure, but it looks like he’s managed to slow the bleeding.

  “He’ll be right behind us,” Blue promises.

  I try to believe the words while she draws me over a line of shadow and the room disappears.

  Hours have passed, or maybe years, while I sit on this hard plastic chair in a veterinary clinic waiting room, my bandaged hands wrapped around a Styrofoam cup of coffee that’s long since gone cold. The lights are mostly off, but for a single panel glowing over the empty front desk, and the closed blinds dim the sunlight outside to a muted gray. A television plays the news in the corner. There aren’t any reports about what happened at the factory, though. Only stories of some unexplained fire at a dive bar across town.

  I shift on the seat, my muscles and bruises aching. The bitter, musky smell of too many animals in a small space stings my nose. Sorcha has taken the chair beside me, while Blue stands by the hallway leading farther back into the clinic. I can’t decide if the vampire girl is a guard to keep me from going back there or a liaison for whatever Leaf needs to report.

  Amar is in surgery. It’s all I know. Blue brought me here, swearing the place was owned by a friend of Katsuro’s and that the Houses wouldn’t know we’d arrived. People have been appearing and disappearing through doors and shadows ever since, some of them wearing scrubs, others carrying coolers bearing official-looking markings. I don’t know who they are. How they fit into this bizarre network of connections Katsuro claims he has. They’re helping Amar, Blue tells me. But that’s all I’ve heard.

  The shadows by the corner play tricks on me and suddenly, Katsuro strides into the room. “Anything?” he asks.

  Blue shakes her head.

  I shiver. My eyes track Sorcha while she rises to her feet and walks to the front window. Despite her transformation earlier, she still has her same clothes—a mystery that I don’t have the energy to explore right now. Staying out of sight behind a wall, she pulls a single strip of the mini blinds aside to check our surroundings.

  “My people will make certain this place stays secure,” Katsuro assures her. “We have the whole area under surveillance.”

  She gives him a flat look before returning to take the seat by my side. And for some reason, I’m comforted. I know she’s just doing her job, staying near me. That Amar paid her and that’s the only reason she’s here.

  But it doesn’t change the feeling.

  A door somewhere down the hallway opens. I look toward the sound, my heart climbing my throat.

  Leaf walks from the corridor and I can’t read his expression. I can’t tell what’s happened and it terrifies me.

  “So…?” Blue prompts carefully.

  Leaf glances to her. I’m paralyzed.

  “He’s stable.”

  A shuddering breath leaves me in a rush. “Can I see him?”

  Leaf nods. “Yeah.”

  I set the cup down quickly and hurry toward him. He hesitates when he sees Sorcha follow me, but the pause lasts only a moment.

  “This way.” He starts down the hall again.

  It’s hard not to ru
sh ahead, but I don’t know what room Amar is in.

  I wish Leaf would walk faster.

  “He was lucky,” Leaf tells me. “The damage could have been much worse. He’ll need to rest, and it’ll be slow going for a little while, but he’s a demon. We bounce back.”

  Leaf smiles. I nod, trying and pretty much failing to return the expression. Without another word, he opens the door at the end of the hall.

  Amar is lying on a metal table, a pale blue blanket over him. Another bundle of blankets are tucked under his head as a pillow.

  But he’s awake, and seeing his dark eyes looking at me when I walk through the door sends a jolt of relief through me so powerful, it makes me want to cry.

  “Hey,” he says, his voice rough. He appears exhausted.

  Another breath presses from my chest. I cross the room in a heartbeat, only to freeze at the side of the makeshift bed. I want to touch him. Hug him. Kiss him. But I’m scared. Machines surround him, and strange tubes too. I’m terrified I’ll bump one of them and make something horrible happen.

  “Hey,” I manage.

  The corner of his mouth rises in a small smile. “I’m alright, Cait. Promise.”

  I swallow hard and nod, pouring everything I’ve got into making my expression look like I believe the words.

  Rather than showing vestiges of the worry that’s spent the better part of the day eating me alive.

  A flicker of consternation passes across Amar’s face, like he’s picked up on my anxiety for him anyway. But he doesn’t say anything, his gaze instead going beyond me to the door.

  I look back over my shoulder. Leaf is gone but Katsuro is standing in the doorway. Sorcha eyes him from her position in the hall.

  “Glad to see you’re doing better,” the vampire says, ignoring her.

  Amar pauses. “Thank you… for all this.”

  Katsuro nods.

  “So now what happens?” I ask. “Penny’s out there and she’s…” I don’t know how to describe what I saw. “I mean, she’s…”

  “Insane,” Amar summarizes.

  “Is it something I did?” I ask, putting words to one of the countless fears that’s been gnawing at me for hours. “Pushing back the mist or doing it wrong or… Her eyes are empty. There’s nothing in them. It’s like she’s—”