Something New

by Sean Ashcroft

  “So remind me why we had to physically come here, again?” Ash asked.

  “I need to inspect the property before the trust can be formalized. Or something. I dunno. It kinda sounded like bullshit, but… I want to know why the hell great uncle Marv would leave me a bookstore. I guess he didn’t have any kids of his own, but…”

  “Well, you are an only child,” Ash pointed out.

  “I have cousins,” Declan said.

  “Maybe he hated your cousins. You said he was the black sheep, but that you’d talked to him. Maybe you were the only one who did. Maybe you’re all he had.”

  “Way to make me feel better about not even knowing the guy was dead,” Declan said.

  “That’s not your fault.” Ash sat on the other side of the bed, kicking his shoes off. “If he wanted to get in touch, he clearly knew where you lived.”

  “Or not, and it took so long to find out because his lawyers had to hunt me down.” Declan shrugged. “I dunno. I guess I just feel like… this is a huge thing to leave a practical stranger, y’know? I thought this kinda thing only happened in movies.”

  “Life’s strange,” Ash said, standing to take his pants off.

  Part of Declan felt he should look away, but it wasn’t as though Ash had anything he hadn’t seen before, and it would have been weirder to look away than to act like it wasn’t a big deal.

  Declan wasn’t entirely sure why it suddenly felt like a big deal.

  Probably because, while he’d had Ash crash next to him before, he’d never really undressed to do it. He’d always fallen asleep mostly-dressed.

  That had to be it.

  “Oh, you’ll be thrilled to know that the receptionist wished me and my husband a pleasant stay. You’ve been promoted.”

  “Nice.” Ash grinned. “We could totally be an old married couple. We could be antiquing or something.”

  “Antique is not a verb,” Declan objected. “We can’t be antiquing.”

  Ash rolled his eyes. “If you had a gay card, I’d have to revoke it for that. Of course we could be antiquing. And looking for charming little bakeries and whatever it is that old married couples do.”

  “We’re not that old.”

  Ash snorted. “You’re extremely not gay. I’m practically over the hill.”

  Declan raised an eyebrow. Ash was a couple of months younger than he was. “Really?”

  “Really,” Ash said. “Which I guess is why breaking up with Troy kinda stung. I didn’t even really like him, but… I’m going to be alone forever.”

  “You’re not gonna be alone forever,” Declan said. “If nothing else… you’ll have me.”

  Ash snorted. “Until you get married, you mean.”

  “I think we both know that’s not happening anytime soon,” Declan said. “I guess half a bookstore might sweeten the deal, but… you will always have me. Even if I’m married and I’ve got six kids and two dogs, I’ll always have time for you. I know I’ve sucked at that lately, but… I’m trying to make up for it now.”

  He wanted to keep Ash. Ash had gotten him through some of the hardest times of his life, including the last eighteen months, when things had really started going wrong at his job. Ash would always be important to him.

  “You can be sweet when you want to,” Ash said, smiling a small, wry smile.

  “Yeah, well… don’t tell anyone, or they’ll all start expecting it.” Declan kicked off his own shoes, more than ready to sleep. It was earlier than he’d normally go to bed, but the drive had exhausted him, and tomorrow felt like a looming shadow over him right now.

  Sleep sounded like a good escape from that.

  “You know…” Ash said. “If it’s just a matter of getting married, and you haven’t got any plans… I’m available. If you wanted to get around the requirements of the will, I mean.”

  Declan turned to look at him, surprised.

  He hadn’t even considered that he could just marry anyone. Anyone who’d cooperate, anyway.

  “I don’t even want half, or anything. You’re my friend. We could get divorced once the papers are signed over. And then you could do whatever you wanted with the place. Sell it, or whatever.”

  “I dunno, man,” Declan said, unsure what else he could say.

  “Forget it,” Ash said. “It was just an idle thought. Probably a stupid one.”

  Declan didn’t exactly think it was stupid. If anything, it was smarter than anything he’d come up with.

  He just didn’t want to drag Ash though a marriage and a divorce for the sake of his inheritance. An inheritance he didn’t really need.

  “I don’t think you’ve ever said anything stupid in your life,” Declan said. “Lemme think about it?”

  It couldn’t hurt to consider the option. Just not right now, when he was about to pass out from tiredness.

  “Consider the offer open,” Ash said. “I’d be handy for tax purposes, too, considering what they pay me at the store.”

  Declan snorted. Ash was paid about a tenth of what he was worth to the place. He deserved better.

  “I need to sleep,” Declan said. “But you can keep your light on, or whatever. I’ll be out as soon as my eyes are closed.”

  “I need a shower first,” Ash announced, standing. “I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

  “Sounds good,” Declan murmured in response, already stripping the rest of his clothes off in anticipation of getting to curl up and sleep. “Night, Ash.”

  “Night,” Ash said as he closed the bathroom door with a click.

  Declan didn’t know what the morning was going to hold, but he was glad Ash was here with him. He wasn’t sure he could have done this alone.

  Chapter Six

  Ash woke to an empty bed, which, while not unusual, wasn’t exactly his favorite way to wake up.

  He’d rolled over a few times in the night and felt Declan close to him, his warmth heating the whole bed. That had been nice. Different to crashing in the same room with three feet of mattress between them.

  Now, he was cold. Declan’s side of the bed was still warm, so he couldn’t have been gone for long, but long enough for Ash to miss him.

  It had been strange to sleep in the near-silence of a small, out of the way town in the middle of winter. Strange, but not by any means uncomfortable.

  Peaceful, actually. Ash hadn’t once woken to the sounds of blaring car horns, sirens, or people shouting outside, and he didn’t miss it.

  He’d half expected to hate it here and want to go home immediately, but so far, Hope Springs was a nice place to visit.

  Just as he was thinking that, the door to the room swung open and Declan stepped through it, carrying two takeaway coffee cups and a paper bag.

  “Morning,” Declan said, his tone cheerful. Declan wasn’t usually a morning person, but a good night’s sleep had obviously done wonders for him.

  He looked happy. Well-rested for the first time in a long time.

  If sleeping curled up next to Ash made this much difference to him, Ash was happy to volunteer to sleep with him indefinitely.

  He blushed at the thought. Not sleep with him. Next to him. In the same bed.

  Not that he would have objected to sleeping with Declan, either, but Declan was straight. Finding that out had been one of the biggest disappointments of Ash’s life, because he was so perfect.

  It was still nice to have him as a friend, and he was glad he hadn’t let that disappointment get in the way of their friendship.

  But that didn’t stop him wishing things were different sometimes.

  “Morning,” Ash mumbled after a moment, rubbing his eyes. A glance at the clock told him it was a little after eight, which meant he’d slept in.

  Maybe Declan wasn’t the only one benefitting from a good night’s sleep.

  “I have coffee and a chocolate chip muffin the size of your head,” Declan explained, sitting down on the bed and passing the bag over to Ash, setting the cardboard tray the coffees were in between
them.

  “Nothing for you?” Ash asked, peering into the bag. The size of his head was a slight exaggeration, but only slight.

  Not that he was about to say no to a chocolate chip muffin, no matter how big.

  “Too nervous to eat,” Declan said, taking one of the coffees for himself.

  They’d always taken their coffee the same way—with milk, but without sugar—which was convenient.

  “Nervous about seeing this place? Because we don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

  “You’d turn back now after we’ve come all this way?” Declan asked.

  Ash shrugged, tearing a chunk off his muffin and stuffing it in his mouth. “I don’t like to see you suffering. And if you’re not eating, you must be suffering.”

  That wasn’t entirely fair—of the two of them, Declan generally ate a lot less than Ash, and always had. But Declan loved breakfast, and pastries. Pastries for breakfast should have been enough to tempt him.

  “I’m not turning back now,” Declan said. “I came here to get this off my mind so I can focus on the future. I gotta do it, even if I’m dreading it.”

  “You wanna talk about why you’re dreading it?” Ash asked.

  “If I knew, I’d tell you. I guess it’s just… it’s big, y’know? Life-changing, even. Kind of a dick move to will someone something and put a condition like getting married on it. Especially, I mean… the guy was gay. He couldn’t get married until a couple of years ago. What if I couldn’t marry whoever I loved?”

  Ash raised an eyebrow. “Who can you not marry?”

  “Natalie Dormer,” Declan said. “I mean, legally, sure, but…”

  “You love looking at her. That’s not quite the same as love.”

  “I could be a good husband,” Declan objected.

  “I don’t doubt that, I just think she’d need to know you exist first.” Ash sipped his coffee. “I mean, I agree it’s kind of a dick move, but… I dunno. I wouldn’t want to run a brick-and-mortar business by myself. Maybe he was trying to protect you from that. Or maybe he thinks marriage is a mark of maturity, or… something. I dunno, I didn’t know the guy.”

  “Neither did I,” Declan said. “That’s kinda the major issue here. I have no idea what any of this is about, or why me, or… anything. I don’t get it.”

  “Maybe the letter will shed some light.” Ash shrugged.

  “Maybe,” Declan agreed.

  Ash chewed on another chunk of muffin, making happy sounds. It was really good.

  Small towns always had great bakeries, though. It was a universal law.

  Declan seemed lost in thought, which might have been a good thing under other circumstances, but Ash wasn’t inclined to let him stay that way. Not right now.

  Not when he had so much to build up in his mind and get anxious about. Declan would never have admitted it, but he had one hell of a nervous streak.

  Ash wanted to save him from as much distress as possible.

  “This coffee is good,” he said between mouthfuls of it. “Not as good as yours, though. You could show whoever made this a thing or two.”

  Declan shrugged. “He seemed nice. And judging by the sounds you made while you ate that muffin, he’s got other talents.”

  “Yeah, well, you still make better coffee,” Ash said. Declan kept an actual espresso machine in his apartment, and he knew how to use it. He was secretly a huge nerd about coffee, and Ash was more than happy to benefit from his hobby.

  That was how they’d met, after all. Ash had been crying over a boy, Declan had made him coffee and come to sit down with him. Somehow, that had led to them becoming inseparable.

  Ash was definitely grateful. He was glad to have a friend like Declan.

  “I think that’s why you keep staying over,” Declan said. “For the coffee.”

  “I won’t pretend I don’t consider it a perk of hanging out with you,” Ash said. “I can do the talking, if you want.”

  Declan shook his head. “I’ll be fine. I’m relaxing already.”

  “Good.” Ash hesitated, and then leaned his head against Declan’s shoulder.

  “How long until we’re meeting the lawyer?” Ash asked.

  “I said ten, so we’ve got a couple of hours. I thought we could take in the sights, maybe. If you want..”

  “Sounds good. I’ll put on pants. After I’ve finished this coffee.”

  “Hey, if you wanna be the town weirdo walking around in his underwear, I won’t stop you,” Declan said, shrugging.

  “The cold will stop me,” Ash said, draining the last of his coffee. “But I’m thrilled to have your unconditional support.”

  “Always.”

  Chapter Seven

  Now that Ash had mentioned them, Declan could see the rainbow flags he’d been talking about everywhere. Both the florist and the craft store, which were either side of the bookstore, had one in their windows.

  Declan hadn’t been able to stop himself from noticing just how many gay couples were out and about this early on a Saturday morning, either. Maybe it was just more obvious because there were less people overall, no huge crowds to get lost in, but… it definitely felt weird.

  Not bad weird. Weird in a way he couldn’t exactly identify.

  It seemed to be making Ash happy, though. He’d sighed dreamily half a dozen times by now.

  Declan wondered if this was what he longed for. A boyfriend he could walk along the street holding hands with, whispering and laughing at private jokes. Having an early-morning breakfast together.

  Doing normal couple stuff.

  None of which Ash did with his boyfriends, as far as Declan knew. He didn’t seem to date them for their personality.

  Not that Ash was shallow. There wasn’t a shallow bone in his body. Declan suspected that the opposite was the problem: few people lived up to his depths.

  “Look,” Ash said softly, nudging Declan to look across the street.

  Straight at a gay couple kissing.

  Declan didn’t see that often, and seeing it was weird.

  He wasn’t sure how to process that. His best friend in the whole world was gay, so he couldn’t be a huge homophobe, could he? It was normal. It was a normal thing for couples to share sweet kisses in public every now and then.

  And that was all it was. A quick peck on the lips, and then laughter and broad smiles. Like any other couple in love.

  Declan just… never saw it.

  Ash seemed excited, though.

  “Is this what it’s always like to be straight?” Ash asked.

  Declan turned to look at him, confused. “I don’t… oh. Oh, right. Yeah, I guess it is.”

  He wouldn’t have thought twice about it if it’d been a straight couple. He saw that all the time.

  Was he being an asshole? Had he been an asshole?

  Ash didn’t make him uncomfortable, but Ash also rarely let Declan meet his boyfriends, and when he did, it was only ever for a few minutes at a time. He never even saw Ash do any of this.

  Suddenly, that seemed weird.

  Did gay couples make him uncomfortable? He wouldn’t have said so, but he definitely felt something. Something that wasn’t quite sitting right yet.

  It didn’t feel like disapproval or disgust, but there was some strange, unidentifiable feeling sticking in his chest.

  “Mr. Cooper?”

  Declan turned around, relieved to see a woman he assumed was the lawyer he’d spoken to. The weirdness he was experiencing right now was probably just nerves.

  “Declan, please,” he said, extending his hand. “This is Ash. He’s, uh-”

  “Oh, you don’t have to explain to me,” Sue said, beaming at both of them. “You’ve probably noticed by now that this is a very open-minded town. Let’s go inside before we freeze to death, shall we?”

  She brandished a key and turned to unlock the door.

  Declan looked over at Ash to see him grinning ear to ear.

  Being mistaken for Ash’s boyfriend never m
ade him uncomfortable, so he probably didn’t hate gay people. He just wasn’t used to seeing so many at once.

  Even as the lights came on, the interior of the bookstore was on the dark side. In a cozy way, though. It made the whole space feel more intimate.

  It was nice, honestly. Declan wasn’t huge on bookstores, but it reminded him of the ones Ash had loved the most when they’d been in college, the ones he’d dragged Declan all over town to visit.

  Not that Declan had been about to complain. He’d been thrilled to have a friend like Ash, who seemed so smart and cultured compared to him. Ash knew things about Shakespeare and Dickens and he was always up to date, too.

  At nineteen, Declan had been impressed. At twenty-eight, he still was.

  “I don’t know why I’m surprised that it smells of old books,” Ash said. “But I love it.”

  He was grinning again, just as broadly as before.

  “I have records for you to look at,” Sue said. “And that letter I promised you.”

  “There’s an apartment up here,” Ash said, already halfway up the stairs. He’d probably been looking for a store room, hoping to find some hidden gems.

  Declan had been in a lot of bookstore store rooms that Ash had talked his way into. A lot of older stores had no idea what stock they actually had, and they’d been happy to let Ash rummage through it.

  Especially when they realized he was going to come out with at least a dozen books he was happy to spend half his paycheck on.

  “You think I could have a couple of minutes alone here? To read this?” Declan asked, brandishing the letter.

  “Of course.” Sue nodded, stepping back toward the door. “I’ll take shelter in the bakery a few doors down. Come get me when you’re done. I just need you to sign some papers to say that the property is in reasonable condition or note any urgent repairs so they’ll be seen to before it’s let out.”

  “Thanks,” Declan said. “I doubt we’ll be long.”

  Sue disappeared out into the front street, leaving Declan alone on the lower floor. He could hear Ash’s footsteps upstairs.

  Not wanting to be alone while he read the letter, he headed up after him. It was probably a good idea to scope the place out, anyway. Even if he wasn’t going to see any use of it for a while yet.