Something New

by Sean Ashcroft

It was strange to hear it out loud, in his own voice. He’d never loved anyone like he loved Ash. Ash, who’d been a constant in his life for nearly ten years now.

  Of course he loved him. He’d probably loved him for a long, long time, and been too busy feeling sorry for himself to really think about it.

  When he’d heard that he needed to marry someone, Ash had been the first—the only—person to come to his mind. That wasn’t an accident.

  Ash had always been the one, and now Declan was on the verge of letting him get away.

  “Forgive me if I’m being dense, but I don’t see why you’re upset by that,” Charlie said.

  “The divorce papers came,” Declan said. “Ash tried to get me to sign them pretty much immediately.”

  Charlie frowned. “What did he say?”

  “He said he didn’t want me to be stuck with him.” Declan sighed, taking a tiny bite of his cookie.

  “So not that he didn’t want to be stuck with you?” Charlie asked.

  “Does it matter?” Declan raised an eyebrow.

  “Actually… yeah, it does. I would never break the confidence of a friend, but… I think you’ve misunderstood what Ash was saying, kind of. Phrasing is important.”

  Declan wet his lips. Ash had talked to Charlie about this at some point. That was what he meant by saying he’d never break the confidence of a friend.

  And now Charlie was trying to lead Declan to the answer without telling him what Ash had said.

  Declan sat back on the couch, nibbling on his cookie. He’d never been good at puzzles.

  “I sent for the divorce papers,” Declan said, suddenly suspecting that was important.

  “You’re so close to figuring this out,” Charlie encouraged, taking another one of Owen’s cookies.

  “I sent for the divorce papers,” Declan repeated. “It was my idea, so… Ash thinks… it’s what I want. Because I didn’t exactly say that I didn’t want him to sign them, because I thought it was what he wanted.”

  “And that’s important, because…” Charlie prompted.

  “Because I never told him how I feel,” Declan said, as if he was just realizing it for the first time.

  He was, really.

  He knew he’d never told Ash he loved him—he’d just figured that out himself—but he’d approached this with Ash as though it was just a test to see if he was into guys.

  He’d never told Ash it was about him, specifically.

  Ash thought Declan wanted to leave him. Declan had never said he didn’t, or told Ash what he meant to him, or… anything.

  He’d just assumed that Ash would know, like he knew everything else.

  “What if he doesn’t feel the same way?” Declan asked.

  Charlie laughed.

  That wasn’t quite the response Declan had been expecting.

  “Again, without breaking any confidences… my advice would be that it’s a bigger risk that he walks away thinking you wanted him to than to tell him how you really feel.”

  Declan stood, stuffing the remainder of his cookie in his pocket for lack of a better place to put it. “I get it. Thanks, Charlie. I owe you free coffee for life.”

  “I’ll take one free coffee,” Charlie said. “As long as my two favorite bookstore owners are still around for me to talk to while I drink it.”

  Declan smiled at that. “I think we will be. I hope we will be.”

  Charlie darted forward, wrapping his arms around Declan in a suffocatingly tight hug. He was stronger than he looked. “You will be. Give Ash my love.”

  “I have to give him mine first,” Declan said.

  “You do. Now go.” Charlie gave Declan a gentle push toward the door. “And come to dinner tomorrow,” he called after him.

  “Will do,” Declan called back as he headed out of Owen’s office, paying for his groceries and then making a beeline for the toy vending machines Owen had in the front of the store.

  He was never going to do this right, but he was going to do his best this time.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Ash cursed as the pile of books he’d been carrying wobbled, teetered, and then collapsed on him, all but the book on the bottom falling from his arms and all over the floor.

  Today was obviously not going to be his day.

  He got it. He did. He’d agreed, specifically, to thirty days of marriage. This had always been a temporary arrangement.

  Some part of him had thought it might become the real thing. Maybe if they’d had more time, or he’d been more open with Declan…

  But then, maybe not, and maybe telling Declan he loved him at the first, tiny hint that he wouldn’t be totally rejected would have left them in a much worse position now.

  Maybe there was nothing Ash could have done to avoid this.

  He still wished he hadn’t been mean to Declan this morning. It was only a brief lapse, and only because he was hurting, but still. He only ever wanted to be kind to Declan.

  While he was still bending down to re-stack his books in two smaller piles this time, the door opened behind him.

  Ash stood, turning to face…

  Declan, who was back.

  “Oh, hey,” Ash said, swallowing past the lump in his throat. He’d stopped himself from crying before, but now that Declan was right in front of him again, it was a struggle.

  “Can I talk to you for a second?”

  Ash’s stomach bottomed out. Was this going to be about arrangements after the divorce? Or before? What if Declan didn’t want him here anymore?

  Part of Ash knew that was just panic talking, that he wasn’t losing Declan as a friend, that Declan had no way of knowing how much this meant to him.

  That part wasn’t quite enough to stop the rest from trembling in fear.

  “Sure,” Ash said, trying to stop his voice from shaking.

  Ash watched Declan set the groceries on the counter, and then take something out of his pocket. A bright pink… ball?

  This wasn’t what he’d been expecting.

  “I screwed this up the first time because I didn’t know how important it was going to be,” he said.

  And then he dropped to one knee.

  Ash’s eyes widened as Declan beckoned him over, his feet carrying him before he’d made a conscious decision to move.

  Declan opened up the ball to reveal a novelty ring, the kind that came out of vending machines.

  “Listen, forget everything that happened this morning. I know I ordered the papers, and I know I didn’t actually come out and say don’t sign them, but… don’t sign them.”

  “I couldn’t bring myself to,” Ash said softly. “I tried, but…”

  “Good,” Declan said. “Because I don’t want a divorce. I want you to be married to me, and I never got you an engagement ring, so… this is the best I could do in an emergency.”

  Ash swallowed, reaching out to pluck the tiny plastic ring with the heart-shaped jewel on it. He’d never been much of a jewelry person, but he’d keep this forever and show it to everyone.

  It meant he wasn’t losing Declan, so it was the most important, beautiful object in the world.

  “I love you,” Declan said. “And I know that in a regular relationship it wouldn’t be time to get married, but… we’ve never had a regular relationship, and if I imagined the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with… it’d be you.”

  “I love you, too,” Ash said. “Always have,” he added quietly.

  “That’s what you told Charlie, isn’t it?” Declan asked. “He wouldn’t break your confidence, which is good I guess, but…”

  “More or less.” Ash nodded. “He’s a good friend.”

  “I might not have figured this out without him, so… yeah. I said I owed him free coffee for life, but he wouldn’t even take that.”

  “It’s our turn to host dinner,” Ash said. “We should get on that.”

  “Right after breakfast,” Declan agreed.

  Ash shook his head, reaching out to take De
clan’s hand. “Right after bed.” He grinned.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  “I feel like I’ve been waiting years for this,” Ash said as Declan tugged at the hem of his t-shirt, lifting it up just enough to tease the sensitive skin of his stomach.

  “It’s been two days.” Declan raised an eyebrow.

  “Like I said, years.” Ash beamed at him, his smile so broad and bright that Declan had to pause to stare at him for a moment.

  “What?” Ash asked.

  “I never noticed how beautiful you are,” Declan said. “I mean, I always knew you were attractive, but…”

  A pretty pink blush colored Ash’s cheeks. “Yeah?” he asked.

  Declan had never really seen him shy before. That was new.

  It was also adorable.

  “Yeah,” Declan confirmed, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind Ash’s ear. It’d gotten a little scruffy while they’d been here, but he kind of liked it that way.

  “I was so disappointed when I found out you were straight,” Ash said. “Here was this perfect guy who was so kind and warm and really, really hot, and he was being so nice to me, and for some reason, he didn’t want to see me naked.”

  “I don’t think I’m entirely straight,” Declan said. He could worry about what to call it later, as long as Ash wasn’t going anywhere. “And I do want to see you naked.”

  “I’m all yours,” Ash murmured, holding his arms out to give Declan access to whatever part of him he wanted to touch.

  Declan wanted to touch him everywhere, but he’d have to pick somewhere to start.

  He brushed his thumb over the soft skin of Ash’s stomach, just barely teasing.

  “What do you want?” Declan asked, his heartbeat speeding up as he started thinking of all the possibilities.

  “I want you to undress for me,” Ash said. “For a start.”

  Declan wet his lips, stepping back to put a little space between them and then pulling his sweater over his head, tossing it on top of his already-discarded coat. The t-shirt he was wearing under it came off next and joined the growing pile of clothes off to the side.

  When he glanced up to meet Ash’s eyes, they were already dark.

  No one ever looked at him like that. Not before now, anyway.

  “Like what you see?” he asked, stomach clenching at the question. He wasn’t used to talking like this, but Ash made him want to have fun.

  Ash made things better, and so far, that extended to sex, too. Declan hadn’t cared much before, hadn’t realized how good it could feel with the right person.

  Ash was definitely the right person.

  Declan had taken too long to see that, but he wasn’t going to waste another minute.

  “Definitely,” Ash said, looking Declan up and down. “Pants?”

  Declan looked down, unfastening his pants and hooking his thumbs into the waistband of his underwear at the same time, dropping both at once. He’d kicked his shoes off as Ash had dragged him into the room, so that left him in just his socks.

  “You’re so hot,” Ash said softly, licking his lips. “I’m a lucky man.”

  “Me too,” Declan responded, his heart fluttering in his chest.

  He was lucky to have a friend like Ash. He was even luckier that Ash wanted to stay with him.

  Better sex than he’d ever had before was the icing on the cake.

  “I can’t get over how sweet you are,” Ash said. “You’re the man I dreamed of before I met you. Kind. Patient. Funny. Great cock.”

  Declan rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help smiling. “You’re overdressed,” he said in response.

  Ash smirked, unbuttoning his fly and shoving his pants and underwear down in one movement, just as Declan had. His half-hard cock bounced as it was freed, catching Declan’s attention.

  He hadn’t taken the time to look before, but… he could definitely get used to this. Seeing that Ash was aroused did all kinds of things for Declan.

  Ash stripped the t-shirt he was already down to off, tossing it on top of Declan’s pile of clothes.

  Declan grinned at that. He liked the idea of them being tangled up together—their clothes, their bodies, and their lives.

  Ash put both hands on Declan’s chest, giving him a gentle shove toward the bed. Declan sat down on the edge of it, scooting back as he watched Ash go to the bedside table and extract the bottle of lube they’d used last time.

  He tossed it to Declan, and then, before Declan could react, climbed into his lap, planting one knee either side of his hips.

  “You think you can handle the prep work this time?”

  Declan had watched Ash do it last time, arousal welling up as he saw Ash’s fingers disappear deep inside his body, listened to him make soft, needy sounds as he stretched himself open, awestruck that it was happening at all.

  This time, he really wanted to do that himself.

  He nodded, uncapping the lube and pouring a generous amount on his fingers, warming it up between them like Ash had.

  “I can take two fingers at a time,” Ash said. “As long as you go slow.”

  “Tell me if I hurt you,” Declan responded. That was the one thing he was nervous about. Ash knew his body a lot better than Declan did.

  “You’ll know, trust me.”

  Declan nodded again. He did trust Ash, so he knew this would be fine.

  Besides, Ash knew what he was doing. As long as one of them did…

  Declan reached under Ash’s body as he lifted himself up, making space for Declan’s arm under him. Ash’s breathing echoed in his ear, raising goosebumps on the sensitive skin behind it.

  He could feel the heat of Ash’s body rolling off him in waves, hear his heart beating if he concentrated.

  Declan took a deep breath as he moved his hand, sliding his finger back until he felt it make contact with Ash’s hole. Ash gasped as he touched it, rocking his hips subtly.

  He wanted this. He desperately wanted Declan inside him, and Declan could tell.

  Declan closed his eyes and pushed the tip of his finger inside, lining the other one up next to it so he could push it in as well, feeling the searing heat of Ash’s body surrounding his fingers.

  He remembered what it’d been like around his cock, and he wanted that again. Ash had fit as though they were made for each other, holding him tight, strong muscles hugging him, pulling him in.

  “Condom?” Declan asked, remembering belatedly that those were a thing. They’d used one that Ash had in his wallet last time.

  “Don’t have one, don’t want one,” Ash gritted out. “If you’re comfortable with that.”

  Declan licked his lips. He’d never been inside anyone without a condom before, but…

  If he was about to have a first, he was glad it was with Ash.

  “Works for me,” Declan said, the thought that Ash trusted him that deeply making him dizzy.

  He pushed his fingers the rest of the way inside slowly, as requested, keeping his pace steady. He could feel Ash starting to give around him, his muscles getting used to the intrusion a quarter-inch at a time.

  Ash hummed in his ear, rocking his hips again.

  “Feels good,” he murmured, breathless. “Need more.”

  Declan wet his lips. Whatever Ash wanted, he’d get.

  He thrust his fingers in deeper, earning himself a gasp as he brushed over a sensitive spot.

  “I mean your cock,” Ash said. “Please.”

  Declan blushed all the way to his collarbones. Ash wanted him so much he was willing to beg.

  He pulled his fingers out, licking his lips in anticipation. He remembered what Ash had felt like last time, impossibly hot and tight, hugging him like they were made to fit together.

  “All yours,” Declan said, taking his hands out of the way to give Ash space for whatever he wanted.

  Ash repositioned himself, lifting his body up and shuffling forward. He hovered briefly, shifting until Declan’s cock brushed against his hole.


  A heartfelt groan escaped the depths of Ash’s chest as he sank down on Declan’s cock, the heat of his body leaving Declan gasping for breath.

  He could feel himself leaking precome inside Ash, slicking the way even more, making it easy for Ash to seat himself firmly in Declan’s lap, his muscles fluttering around him.

  This felt good. Without anything between them, Declan could almost believe that he could feel Ash’s heartbeat, his pulse beating right against Declan’s cock.

  He wasn't sure that was how it worked, but he liked the idea. The idea of being this close to Ash, being able to feel parts of him that were just between them.

  He’d had so much of Ash for so long, and now he had just a little more.

  “You’re blushing all the way down your neck,” Ash whispered in Declan’s ear, his breath leaving the sensitive skin tingling. “It’s really hot.”

  “You’re really hot,” Declan responded, wrapping his hands around the outsides of Ash’s thighs. He pressed his thumbs in, aiming for pressure points.

  Ash gasped as he hit them, his hips jerking in response.

  “You need to show me how to do that,” Ash said, breathless.

  “And give away my one trick?” Declan asked. “Only because I love you.”

  Ash shifted back, moving his face away from Declan’s neck to look him in the eye. He bit his lip, rocking his hips in a painfully slow circle, and then lunged forward.

  Declan made a soft, happy noise as their lips connected, darting his tongue out to soothe where Ash had been biting a moment ago.

  Ash rocked his hips again, more deliberate this time, his body rising and falling, his cock grinding against Declan’s stomach. Declan gasped at the feeling, tightening his grip on Ash’s thighs, holding him in place as he thrust up into him.

  Ash’s body was brain-meltingly hot, Declan’s head spinning with every thrust, arousal building deep inside him, a heavy ball of pleasure settling low and tight. He could barely catch his breath as Ash rocked against him, slow and intense, as though Ash was determined to get use out of every inch of Declan’s cock.

  He could have whatever he wanted. Anything Declan could do, Ash only had to ask. Aside from the fact that he owed him that much, every touch felt so good that Declan couldn’t imagine being without it anymore.