Mr Darcy's Cottage of Earthly Delights

by Beth Massey

  The dinner at the Gardiners was pleasant. Darcy had sent a note earlier in the day asking for permission to bring Georgiana. Darcy also requested an audience with Miss Lydia and Mrs Gardiner before Georgiana was introduced to Elizabeth’s sister. They sat together in Mr Gardiner’s office while he asked his delicate question.

  Once the door was closed and they were seated, he made his request. “Miss Lydia, I would like you to become acquainted with my sister. You have much in common. You are close in age, and she has given me permission to tell you of one other thing you both have experienced. Wickham persuaded her to elope with him last summer. She agreed, and it was only by accident that I visited her in Ramsgate before they left. Their plans were confessed to me, and I was able to keep her from accompanying him. He did not love her any more than he loved you. Instead, he wanted her thirty thousand pound dowry. My belief is that the two of your could become friends.”

  Darcy looked at Mrs Gardiner to garner support for his next words. “One big difference though is that she is still a maiden, and knows nothing of the humiliation you experienced during your captivity. My request is that though I encourage you to exchange confidences regarding your shared tribulations, that she not be burdened with that particularly sordid knowledge. Would you be able to keep that information from her?”

  Lydia blushed at his request and became engrossed in her hands, “Yes, Mr Darcy that will not be a problem. I am trying to forget those details, and have not even been able to tell my aunt what happened in any meaningful way.” After a few seconds of silence, she looked up and met his gaze. “Your idea for us to become friends is very pleasing, and I am flattered you think me worthy.”

  “She will invite you and Mrs Gardiner to tea tomorrow. Further, she discussed taking you shopping for clothes. I am afraid I told an untruth to explain why you had so few clothes. I said that you had lost them when your box fell off the carriage while you were travelling from Brighton.” Darcy smiled sheepishly, “I am not an experienced prevaricator.”

  Lydia giggled and said, “I have been known to tell fibs with abandon to accomplish my own selfish agenda, but I would not have been able to explain such an odd occurrence as losing one’s clothes. Your explanation is better than anything I would have said.”

  “The reason the situation of your wardrobe was introduced is that she wants you and your father, and your aunt and uncle to attend the theatre with us next Thursday. I told her I was afraid you might not have anything to wear, as a way of putting off her request.”

  “You did not want us to attend?”

  Darcy’s face got red with embarrassment. “I would very much like you to attend, but I was afraid you might wonder at the motive for taking you to this particular play. The play is Sheridan’s The Rivals, and it is very humorous. There are two main sources of comedy. One is a woman—Mrs Malaprop—who throughout the play uses a word that is not precisely the one she means. For example she might say she ‘reprehends’ something when she really means she ‘comprehends.’ It is humorous because the meaning of her sentence is now different than she intended.”

  Lydia looked a bit dubious that what he had described would be comic. “And what is the other source of comedy?”

  Mr Darcy drew a deep breath before he spoke. “One of the main characters is a silly young woman named Lydia Languish. She is determined to elope with a poor, young ensign. Her goal is to marry only for love, regardless of the consequences.”

  “Ah, and you believe I will become convinced this Mr Sheridan is making fun of me. Never fear, if he had written about me, I would feel deeply flattered that he thought my story worthy to entertain. I would be delighted to see this ‘Lydia Languish’ appear foolish on stage.”

  Darcy saw the old exuberant Lydia, and said with matching glee, “You shall have your wish, if your family agrees.”

  Georgiana and Lydia took to each other immediately, despite the difference in their manners. Before the evening was over they had plans to spend time in each other’s company every day. The expectation that they would soon become related—once the one’s brother married the other’s sister—caused them to act like giggling conspirators in a game of matchmaking. They pledged to remain friends for life and refused to allow the reality of Wickham to dampen the friendly confines of the world they were imagining for themselves.

  Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam conferred with Mr Bennet and Mr Gardiner about the status of the negotiations with Wickham. It was agreed that some provision must be put in place to ensure the security of Lydia and any children in the future. An outright grant of ten thousand pounds to Wickham would leave her vulnerable if he squandered the funds, as Darcy was certain he would. The colonel was given the mission of trying to convince him to take a commission as a source of income.

  After Mr Gardiner and Richard had left to join the others in the drawing room, Mr Bennet gave Elizabeth’s note to Mr Darcy. He remembered her hand from the letter she had given him the day she left Derbyshire. This letter did not anger as that one had, but it did increase the pain he felt from being removed from her. He smiled at Mr Bennet after he had read her words. He knew he must hide his sadness. It would not do to let this man, who would become his father, know how emotional he had become.

  Mr Bingley spent his time speaking with Mrs Gardiner while the conference about Wickham was happening. Her words to him were a kinder version of Mr Gardiner’s the day before. She seemed genuinely interested in his parents, Yorkshire, Scarborough, where he was educated but most of all his sisters. After she had gathered much information, her thoughts turned to encouraging him to meet with her husband, and discuss appropriate endeavours for a young man in want of a direction. He perked up when she hinted if he allowed Mr Gardiner to mentor him, perhaps Jane would be interested in coming to London to help with the Gardiner’s children. Bingley was unsure how those two scenarios fit together, or exactly how the additional knowledge that Mrs Gardiner was expecting another child was relevant, but he was definitely intrigued by the picture she was painting. He felt himself inspired to prove himself worthy to win both this couple’s approval and their niece’s.

  Four days after the dinner at the Gardiner’s, Lydia Bennet was sitting in the Darcy box at the theatre. Her father had decided not to attend, but her aunt and uncle were present. She was wearing a newly fashioned gown in the latest style. The bodice displayed her ample bosom to its best advantage. The dress made of shimmering emerald green silk, encouraged all who beheld her this night, to remark how perfectly it enhanced her striking looks of alabaster skin, thick dark glossy hair, and ever-changing eyes. Tonight her eyes matched the colour of her dress, but when she was close to candlelight they shifted closer to hazel with flecks of gold.

  She was seated to the left of Mr Darcy and Georgiana was on his right. He had promised to explain some of the dialogue to enhance both young women’s enjoyment. As she looked out at the assembled audience, she was awestruck by the fashionable men and women in attendance. Mrs Gardiner was on her left, and Lydia kept her quite busy as she whispered her admiration for this or that lady she spied. Her aunt was gratified by Lydia’s recently moderated behaviour, for she only whispered and did not point. However, Mrs Gardiner did notice that the gowns and jewels worn by the women caused her to experience symptoms much like intoxication.

  Before the performance began, Lydia noticed an older woman with her hair coiffed like the painting of her grandmother Bennet hanging in the parlour at Longbourn. She was with a man who appeared to be around Mr Darcy’s age. He was a very large man… as tall as Darcy, but much bigger. His chest and shoulders were massive, but he in no way appeared fat to Lydia. His brown hair was a stylish mop of unruly curls. The most notable thing about his appearance was his smile. His face appeared to be permanently in a state of mirth; and this happiness was evidenced by the crinkles at the corners of his eyes, and the upward curl of his lips. His mouth opened often to expose beautiful white teeth. Somehow his smile caused her to forget tomorrow, and for some
odd reason his optimistic countenance caused her to believe, for the first time in a fortnight, that her life could still be worthwhile.

  The woman and the large man noticed them. They looked often in their direction and seemed to be discussing the inhabitants of Mr Darcy’s box. As she watched, the woman did something very odd thing. Once she had captured Mr Darcy’s attention, she seemed to scrutinize Lydia; next she covered the lower half of her face with her fan, and the final event in the sequence was that as she looked directly at Mr Darcy and winked. The gesture caused Lydia to look to her right and she observed him give the slightest shake of his head ‘no.’ The woman proceeded to perform the same ritual with Georgiana in her sights, and Mr Darcy, once again, indicated ‘no’… this time with just the slightest grin on his face. She donned a quizzical look, and said something to the man. He then proceeded to stare intently at Lydia. When he noticed she was observing him, the most magnificent smile lit up his face. A shiver of pleasure ran through her, and for a moment her heart raced and she had trouble breathing. She smiled back at the man, and with his smile that reminded her of sunshine and pleasant tomorrows still firmly in place—he nodded to her.

  13

  THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING LYDIA

  Once the play began, Lydia watched the actors on stage and listened to Mr Darcy’s whispered explanations. She frequently stole glances at the smiling man. Never had she seen someone take such pleasure in an activity. Jane and Elizabeth had often cautioned her to contain her exuberance while dancing, but she could not fathom the theatre eliciting the kind of response this bear like man was exhibiting. There was so much she did not understand about what was happening on stage; it was a bit too much like work for her. Her greatest enjoyment this evening quickly became watching and evaluating him. He was so very large and strong looking—what a powerful physic he had. The closeness of his box allowed her to savour the rich baritone of his laughter. More than once, when she was looking at him, he caught her—and at that moment he seemed to be laughing at her and not the actors. From that occasion on, she resolved to be more circumspect and watch him out of the corner of her eye. Despite her effort at proper deportment, she would inevitably giggle when she would hear his laugh. Just observing him made her feel happy; and she was definitely infected by the sheer contagiousness of his mirth.

  During the break between acts, their party emptied into the hall and headed toward the lounge for refreshment. Lydia saw the laughing giant and the woman with the elaborate hair heading toward Mr Darcy. Once again, this time in anticipation, she felt the flutter of her heart.

  When they were abreast, Mr Darcy began to speak, but the burly bear of a man gave him a cautioning look and quickly intervened. Addressing the host of their party first, he said, “Darcy, I believe you have met my aunt, Lady Sarah Rowley.”

  Lydia noticed the man had emphasized ‘Rowley.’ Darcy bowed to Lady Sarah, and Lydia noticed a twinkling in his eyes, with just the slightest smirk at the introduction. They seemed to be enjoying a shared confidence, and she was sure the woman’s wink was somehow connected. The nephew continued the conversation. “You sir, are a lucky man to be accompanied by two such beautiful young women. Please introduce me to them and your other companions. It is my hope that all of you are enjoying this delightful play as much as I am.”

  Darcy turned to Georgiana and said, “May I introduce my sister, Miss Georgiana Darcy. Georgiana this is the Viscount Colton and his aunt Lady Sarah Rowley.” Georgiana exhibited her natural shyness as she curtseyed. She quickly lowered her glance after whispering her pleasure with meeting them both. Next, Darcy introduced the two to Mr and Mrs Gardiner. All were polite and charming in their greetings. Their conversation with Lord Colton uncovered that he was the son of the Earl of Blessing. Mrs Gardiner expressed her pleasure to meet another family with roots in Derbyshire. She informed him that they had hoped to tour Blessing much as they had Pemberley when they were recently in Derbyshire, but had been called back to London unexpectedly.

  Finally Darcy said, “And this is their niece, Miss Lydia Bennet from Longbourn in Hertfordshire.” Lydia curtseyed and blushed but had no difficulty making eye contact. She smiled and said, “Never have I seen anyone enjoy themselves as thoroughly as you, Viscount. You must dearly love this play.”

  “I do, Miss Lydia.” The way he said her name it seemed to languish on his tongue. Lydia unconsciously giggled. “My admiration of Mr Sheridan’s comedy has even caused me to value the name Lydia above all others. What serendipity that here I am, during a break in my favourite play, being introduced to someone with that particular name. Please assure me you are Miss Lydia in both town and the country.”

  Lydia could not contain her giggles at the silly flirting of this giant. “Oh no, sir, I assure you it is the only name I go by, regardless of where I find myself.”

  “Oh, I am so pleased that you have confirmed my hopes for our acquaintance.”

  The object of his hopes blushed deeply, and decided to change the subject. “What is it you admire so about the play?”

  “I love two things. First, I love the word play. Mrs. Malaprop is so intriguing. Were you able to understand all of her misuses of words?”

  “No, I truly only picked out one by myself. Mr Darcy helped me with a few others. The one I did understand, I must admit I found uncommonly funny.”

  “Which one was that?”

  “When she talked about ‘contagious’ countries but meant ‘contiguous,’ I could not help but laugh. Her error made me imagine the people of France and Spain, including Napoleon and his brother Joseph, walking around with red splotches… like the measles.”

  Lord Colton threw back his head, and his deep laugh caused everyone in their proximity to stare at him. He seemed immune to what could be taken as censure. Lydia both grinned and felt another flutter at the occurrence. Her delight at giving him such pleasure with one of her remarks was a powerful emotion. She continued, “Even that one, I would not have known if it was not for my sister Elizabeth.”

  Lydia turned to look at Mr Darcy and gave him a conspiratorial smile. He returned her gift with one of his own. “Elizabeth’s favourite game when we were young was to teach her sisters things she thought we ought to know. My sister Kitty and I loved geography the best. I think it appealed to our romantic notions of travelling to exotic locations. My father had a very large atlas. We would lay on the floor for hours perusing the maps as she pointed out different countries, rivers and mountain ranges.” Lydia chuckled at the remembered experience. “My father says Elizabeth prided herself, since she first began talking on using big words. Kitty was eight and I was seven and we thought it so very humorous and could not help but laugh each time she said ‘contiguous.’ She would reprimand us for our unserious attitude. I cannot wait to tell her about Mrs Malaprop’s words, and to thank her for being such a task master.”

  This time it was Mr Darcy who threw back his head and guffawed. His laughing in public was a very rare occurrence as were his jocular words. “How I savour the image of a twelve-year-old Miss Elizabeth, with her hands on her hips, scolding you and Miss Catherine.”

  Their entire party was now the object of much attention. The party began walking again toward the refreshment tables. As they moved along, she continued to question his Lordship, “You said there were two things you loved about the play. What is the second?”

  “I love the character of Lydia Languish and her silly, romantic notions. That is why I am so enamoured of the name, Lydia.’ His eyes seemed to be burning into hers. “I admire anyone who decides to marry only for the deepest love. It is true, one can be mistaken in the evaluation of someone’s character, but the effort still wins my approval.” Lord Colton gave his aunt a very loving smile, picked up her hand and kissed it. He continued the exposition of his beliefs with, “Marriage should not only be a legal and religious proposition, but should also reflect two overflowing hearts. As a young man of twelve, I vowed that I would be like Jack Absolute and marry Lydia Langui
sh.”

  Lydia had found a new hero. She looked at Lord Colton with languid eyes, and felt a bit like swooning.

  Darcy, who had been observing the flirting pair since their first exchange across the crowded theatre, immediately felt protective but did not intervene. He felt the need to consider recent events, as ‘Smiling Jack’ and ‘Lydia Languish’ continued to chat. They drank their drinks, and soon it was time for both parties to make their way back to their seats. Mr Gardiner gave Darcy a questioning look, and Darcy shrugged his shoulders while donning a perplexed expression.

  In the carriage on the way home, Mr Darcy recollected his previous dealings with Lord Colton. He had known the man, two years his elder, since Eton. He had heard tales of a wild reputation, but others said he had changed. Darcy believed the public metamorphosis of the lusty lord had happened once his aunt opened her establishment. All of Jon’s wild oats were now sown under her roof. According to Belly, he had sown enough there to feed all the horses of the entire Dragoon Guards. Jon was another, like Darcy, who strictly avoided flirtations within their set. Both were scrupulous about not raising expectations among marriageable young women. The only difference was Lord Colton could keep debutants and their mothers at bay with a smile, while Darcy inevitably frowned his way through the ordeal. Their shared views on marriage, and their dislike of the majority of women who participated in the Season, had made them friends of a sort. However, Darcy realized they had not seen each other since months before Ramsgate, and the subsequent miraculous changes in his life. He was quite sure Mrs T—Lady Sarah—must have confided the knowledge that Darcy was in love. He also suspected, based on the exchange with Lydia that he had been told of her plight. The question is… was he serious? His exchanges with Lydia where the ton could observe were without precedent. Why would a man who would soon be the Earl of Blessing be interested in a compromised country nobody?