Eumeralla - Secrets, Tragedy and Love

by Joanna Stephen-Ward

  ***

  “How are you, Alex?” Ruth asked as she carried the plates of chicken casserole into the dining room.

  He poured wine into their glasses. “Fine.”

  “Truly?”

  “No,” he confessed with a wry smile.

  “You look terrible.”

  He picked up his knife and fork. “I’m in hell.”

  “So am I. But, I’ve been in hell for so long now I’m used to it.”

  He looked at her in concern. “Why?”

  “I’m missing Fiona. She gave me something to talk about at the hospital. Now I’m back to being a lonely middle-aged spinster.” She sipped her wine. “Old sins cast long shadows.”

  “What were your sins?”

  “My first one was resentment.”

  “Who did you resent?”

  “You and David because you were boys and didn’t have to do any housework.”

  He laughed.

  “It wasn’t amusing, Alex. I got the highest marks at school, but our mother and the housekeeper did your ironing and cleaned and tidied your rooms, but Cheska, Margot and I had to do our own chores because we’d have to do them when we got married. Cheska was ill with asthma a lot so I ended up having to do her share most of the time. And yet I still came top of the class every year. But because I was a girl Dad wouldn’t spend money to send me to university. And then when the war came I had to stay here and look after Cheska. The one thing I did for the war effort – looking after Laurence’s wife. I failed. She was put in my care and it was my fault that she died.”

  “No one blamed you,” protested Alex.

  “I blamed me.”

  “I had no idea you felt like this. What did Laurence think?”

  She shook her head and picked up her packet of cigarettes.

  “Can I have one?” he asked.

  She gave him the packet. “When did you start smoking again?”

  “Just now.” He lit a cigarette. “You could go to Eumeralla for a holiday.”

  “I can’t. Eleanor was antagonistic.”

  “Oh. Fiona told me that, but I thought she was imagining things.”

  “No, she was right. When I got back I wrote to her and she replied that she didn’t want to see me on Eumeralla and if I want to see Fiona I’ll have to meet her elsewhere.”

  Alex frowned. “Strange. Write to Fiona and ask her if she can find out anything.”

  “Yes. I will. How’s Virginia?”

  “She’s in hell too.”

  “With hindsight, would you have married her?”

  “Yes.”

  “Would you change anything?”

  “Only things to do with Fiona. Nothing else. What about you?”

  “Everything. Every single thing.”

  “Ah, Ruth. It’s not that bad.”

  “Yes it is. It’s been that bad for years.”

  Realizing she was slightly drunk, he dared to question her. “After Cheska died and you got ill ... where did you go?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “Not now. But I’m curious. We were worried about you.”

  “I had to get away. I couldn’t bear the guilt and pain. Everyone was happy because the war was over and I wanted to escape so I didn’t have to see anyone.”

  “You disappeared for four months.”

  “Three months,” she said sharply. “I was away for three months.”

  Eumeralla

  1st July 1972

  Dear Dad,

  Juju’s teaching Keith to ride. Hazel’s hilarious. She’s blatantly attracted to him. When she came for the weekend Juju told her she was behaving like a tart. My relationship with Juju is strange in many ways. I don’t feel the need to ask her about her feelings because I sense what they are. I often know what she’s going to say before she says it. We are comfortable together and don’t talk much.

  Keith and Tom are good mates already, and Tom’s mad about Keith’s motorbike. Keith’s happy and I’m happy – now all we need is for Gabby to find happiness again. I asked her the other day how she was feeling and she said ‘ neutral’. She’s got a temporary teaching job for one term and she’s finding it stimulating. Tom’s going to give her riding lessons and she’s looking forward to it.

  Tom’s coming to Tree’s wedding with me. Can he borrow one of your suits? And a shirt and tie. He’s the same height as you and about the same build. It’s fabulous having a brother – they come in useful when you need a partner.

  Love,

  Fiona.

  Alex picked up the phone and dialled his number in Sydney. When Virginia answered she sounded normal, but as soon as she knew it was him her voice became apathetic. He read Fiona’s letter to her.

  “She didn’t mention me,” she said. “Or ask how I was.”

  “No, but she didn’t tell me not to refer to you, and that’s a good sign.”

  “It’s not,” she said and put the phone down.

  ‘I give up,’ he thought. ‘If she wants to speak to me she knows the number. I’m not pandering to her any more.’

  He realized with an extreme sense of loss that he didn’t want to go home. ‘I’ll stay in Fiona’s unit until the houses in Fitzroy are finished. At the weekends Ruth and I can go to Kingower.’

  CHAPTER 15

  June was riding around Eumeralla with Keith, showing him how to check the sheep. “Look out for ones that are too far away from a flock – they might have strayed and got lost. They’ll run off when we approach so watch to see none are limping. If one trails behind or is uninterested in us they might be sick or injured.”

  He listened intently and nodded.

  Suddenly she realized why Hazel’s amorous advances to Keith aggravated her. ‘Is this how it feels?’ she wondered. ‘I’ve never experienced this ... not with any of my boyfriends.’ She blushed and let her horse fall behind his.

  As they neared a group of sheep they slowed their horses to a walk.

  “We’re also making sure there’s plenty of green grass for them.”

  “It’s as good as I imagined,” Keith said, slowing his horse so she could catch up.

  Satisfied that the colour in her cheeks had subsided, she looked at him. “What is?” she asked, although she thought she knew.

  “The life. Getting up in the morning and knowing that soon you’ll be on horseback. The sense of purpose and doing something real.”

  “Wasn’t being a postman real? People getting their mail’s important.”

  “We were looked down on by the office workers. It was seen as menial work, something a bloke did because he was too stupid to do anything else. Here I look on myself as being a guardian of the land and a provider of food and wool.”

  “Did you enjoy your go on home rota last week?”

  He nodded. “Especially the gardening.”

  She looked sceptical. “Even the laundry and cooking?”

  “Doing the laundry was tedious, but I had this to look forward to. Cooking’s okay and Fiona’s given me a few tips. You’d all been outside working hard and you needed a clean house and good food to come home to. Here I feel that my life’s got a reason.”

  “You sound like Fiona.”

  He nodded. “I’m amazed at how well she’s taken to all this – she used to be such a townie.”

  “Yes, the first time I saw her, she was so glamorous. She looked like someone in those magazines Hazel reads. We had to buy her a whole lot of new clothes.”

  She dismounted to check a sheep that was lagging behind the flock. Keith. held her horse’s reins while she felt its legs and parted the fleece, looking for ticks.

  “Is it okay?” he asked.

  She nodded. “Probably just lazy. “Do you like Hazel?” she asked as he handed her the reins.

  “Not as much as I like you.”

  She smiled up at him. He slid off the horse, put his arms round her and kissed her lips.

  “We’re cousins,” she murmured when they stopped for breath.

 
“Cousins can kiss.”

  “What else can they do?”

  He ran his hands through her hair. “Lots of things, Juju, lots of things,” he whispered.

  Eumeralla

  July 1972

  How thrilling! This afternoon Juju and Keith came back holding hands. Juju tells me she adores him.

  The financial situation at Eumeralla looks promising. With some of Keith’s money they’ve bought a new harvester, more sheep for breeding and new saddles.

  “I’m pleased about you and Juju,” Tom told Keith one night when they were setting up the chess board. “I detested her last boyfriend.”

  “How did she meet him?”

  Tom grimaced. “Hazel introduced them. Eumeralla’s remote so we’re a bit limited when it comes to meeting people our own age. My first girlfriend lived over the creek. After she moved to Brisbane we stayed friends and she comes to see me when she visits her parents. Our hatred of the people on Acacia has wiped out one social alliance.”

  “Do you reckon the rumours about them being almost bankrupt are true?” Keith asked.

  “Could be, but it might be wishful thinking. Their wheat crop failed last year. It depends how much money they’ve got as back up. They must have investments. In your grandfather’s day the soil was fertile, but it’s been plundered for over twenty years. Instead of putting money back into the land they spent it on cars, overseas holidays, and they employ lots of staff to do the things they should do themselves.”

  “If they sell it could we all buy it together?” Keith asked.

  “It depends on the price. We don’t want to get too much in debt. The house from Dalby is arriving tomorrow and Neil and I will have to buy a few things for it. Mum’s only letting us take what’s in our bedroom. We’ll have to dismantle part of the fence so the trailer can get through.”

  Fiona was laughing so much she couldn’t hold the camera steady. “Usually people move to houses,” she said, as the driver inched the trailer through the gates. “Is there a flushing toilet?”

  “There was one outside, it and the laundry and a shed were attached to the main house, but it would have cost more to bring so we said to leave it behind,” said Tom.

  “Drat!” said Fiona.

  “Typical selfishness,” Eleanor said to Greg. “Thanks very much. The one thing I wanted you make sure is left behind!”

  Fiona, seeing Greg’s embarrassment at being censured in front of strangers, said, “How much will a new one cost?”

  “Too much,” Greg replied.

  Eleanor sighed. “Naturally.”

  “It’s just that I thought that I could buy one.” To her relief Eleanor smiled.

  The house’s new location was close to middle paddock well away from the creek. As soon as it was put into place they all went inside. To their astonishment it was full of furniture.

  “We didn’t pay for this,” Tom said.

  “Do you want it?” asked the driver of the trailer.

  “How much will it cost?”

  “Nothing. The old lady who owned the house died and the family don’t want the furniture, so they left it. It’s quite good stuff.”

  “It is,” said Eleanor. “We’ll keep it. And it’s not staying here,” she said when the men had left. It’s coming to our house. You can have all the old junk.”

  Tom held up his hands. “Okay, Mum. Whatever you want. We’ll move it tomorrow, it’s too late to do it now.”

  “Actually, I think your father and I should move here and the rest of you can stay in the old house,” she said when she saw the modern bathroom.

  Neil looked furious. “No!”

  “I don’t see why you should live in the best house.”

  “This was meant to be a happy day for them ... don’t spoil it,” said Greg.

  “She already has,” said Neil.

  Fiona could think of nothing conciliatory to say. ‘Now I know how Dad felt when Mum and I quarrelled,’ she thought.

  ***

  Gabriella and Tom rode side by side.

  “You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you, Gabby?”

  She nodded. “It’s fantastic. Thanks for teaching me.”

  “It’s nice to see you smile. Keith told me you’ve had a rough time.”

  Her smile ebbed away.

  “Sorry. That was clumsy of me.”

  “It’s hard to talk about. It’s when people give me sympathy.”

  “Hard not to be sympathetic, I reckon. It’s not something you can be offhand about.”

  “No. Leukaemia. Suddenly he was tired all the time. His mates used to tease him about being a newly-wed and tell me I was exhausting him. Then he got all these bruises. That’s when he went to the doctor.” She turned her head away from him and looked at the sky. “The clouds are moving fast.”

  “Are they?” He stopped his horse. When she stopped hers Tom reached over and touched her shoulder. “Gabby, don’t be ashamed of crying in front of me.”

  She bit her lip and he saw her swallow hard. “I’m okay. I’ve done too much crying and self-pitying. Can we canter?”

  Eumeralla

  July 1972

  Today I got a letter from Aunty Ruth. I knew I was right. There is something wrong between her and Eleanor. Positive that it was a misunderstanding, I thought I’d be able to sort it out, because Eleanor and I are on rota together. We were gardening when I told her about Aunty Ruth’s letter.

  “I never liked Ruth,” she said, looking as if she wanted to whack me with the spade for even mentioning her name.

  “But, Dad told me that you used to be friends,” I said.

  “We were polite to each other ... neither of us has uncontrolled passions like you Clarksons. Besides, Alex wouldn’t know – he was so fascinated by Virginia he wouldn’t have noticed if the sheep had metamorphosed into elephants and the wheat had turned purple.”

  “Why didn’t you like her?”

  “For heaven’s sake, Fiona, why can’t you just accept that we didn’t like each other?”

  “Aunty Ruth likes you – she wouldn’t have written this letter if she hadn’t. She wants to know what she’s done to upset you.”

  With that, Eleanor yanked up a clump of weeds and shook them so viciously the soil went everywhere. She said, “It’s nothing to do with you. Nothing.” Then she laughed wildly. Weird.

  ***

  On Saturday morning in the second week of July, Gabriella drove up to Keith’s cabin. She jumped out of the car, ran up to his door and banged on it. There was no reply. As she raced to the house she saw they were all on the verandah. “Coo-wee!” she called.

  Greg waved. “Want some breakfast, Gabby?”

  “Acacia’s for sale!” she shouted, jumping up and down.

  Keith stood up. “How much?”

  “I don’t know.” She bounded up the steps and stood beaming at them.

  Greg pulled out a chair for her. “Damn. We’ve just bought a load of new machinery and sheep.”

  “And paid a fortune for that house to be moved from Dalby,” said Eleanor.

  Neil groaned. “Stop going on about it. It wasn’t your money, it was Fiona’s.”

  “Eumeralla’s owned outright,” said Keith. He looked at Greg. “Would you mortgage it?”

  “Yes,” said Eleanor. “If we had to.”

  “I’ll sell my unit,” said Fiona. “And my car and my furniture.”

  “I can sell my house,” said Gabriella. “If you all buy Acacia I want to be in too. I want to be the eighth partner.”

  Tom shook his head. “They’ll balk at selling to us. They think we’re interfering busybodies and the fact that we’ve been proved right will stick in their guts.”

  “They won’t have any choice,” Gabriella said. “They’re bankrupt.”

  “How do you know?” asked Tom.

  My next door neighbour’s an estate agent. He told me all about it last night.”

  “Is it going to be auctioned?” asked Keith.

 
“I don’t know.”

  “Why didn’t you ask?”

  “Tactics,” she replied smugly. “I didn’t want to look too interested.”

  Eumeralla

  July 1972

  After Gabby’s monumental announcement we spent most of the morning doing our sums. We all got different answers so we gave up. Greg said that before we decide Gabby and I have to get our places valued. Keith and I went back to Dalby and helped her clean and tidy up. The place was a mess. It looks great now. There are no worries about the outside – the garden’s beautiful even though it’s winter. Gabby spends most of her time in the garden and that’s why the housework never gets done.

  I’m going to Melbourne on Tuesday to see an estate agent.

  ***

  Fiona caught a taxi from TullamarineAirport to her unit. She put her key in the lock, but it wouldn’t turn. When the door opened she jumped. “Oh, Dad, I thought you were a burglar. I didn’t know you were still here or I would have rung. The most wonderful thing’s happened. Acacia’s for sale. I want to sell this place. Is that all right with you?”

  “Of course. It’s yours.”

  “But you bought it for me.” She pulled her key out of the lock. “Mum will be thrilled.”

  He smiled and went over to the phone. “Ring her now.”

  She looked sheepish. “I forgot for a minute.”

  “Forget forever, Fiona.” He picked up the receiver. “Please – for my sake and your mother’s. She’s in a terrible state. I’m still here because I don’t want to go home. You’ve forgiven me, forgive her.”