Eumeralla - Secrets, Tragedy and Love

by Joanna Stephen-Ward

  Tears ran down her face. “I know. A few months ago I was an only child. Now I’ve got a twin sister and brothers and I can ride.”

  He hugged her. “That’s the spirit. Keith’s better off too.”

  Greg stood in front of Eleanor. “We didn’t want to live in that hideous new house, did we?”

  She looked crestfallen. “Yes. I reckon we’ve earned a bit of luxury. We were so close ... only five thousand dollars over our limit! Surely we could have gone over that much?”

  “No, Eleanor, we would have been too much in debt.”

  “Not if we’d accepted Virginia’s offer. She was giving us money, not lending it.”

  “It would have been a debt of a different kind,” he said. “Keith was right. We had to do this by ourselves.”

  “We didn’t do it at all,” she snapped.

  “Who bought it, Greg?” asked Gabriella.

  “No one we know,” he replied. “What are you going to do now, Gabby?”

  “Cancel the sale on my house or else I’ll end up with nowhere to live.”

  They walked out to their cars. Keith pulled Fiona aside. “I’m going back with Gabby – I’ll stay the night with her.”

  “Can I come too?”

  “Sure. Greg, the Clarkson contingent are going to Gabby’s. We’ll be back tomorrow.”

  Gabriella took a bottle of champagne out of the fridge. “Shall we drink it anyway?”

  “I’ll ring Aunty Virginia first,” said Keith.

  “I’ll do it,” said Fiona.

  He looked at her in surprise. “Good on you.”

  “It’s silly,” she said, picking up the receiver, “but my first thought when they went over our limit was how disappointed she’d be.”

  As she dialled the number she heard Keith and Gabriella going outside.

  “Hello,” said Virginia.

  “Mum?”

  There was a moment’s silence. “Yes.”

  “It’s me.” Fiona always said that when she rang either of her parents.

  Usually her mother said, “Hello, me.” Now she said, “What’s the matter?”

  “We’ve just got back from the auction – we’ve lost Acacia.”

  “But are you all right?”

  “Yes.”

  “That’s the main thing. I thought something was wrong.”

  “There is. We’ve lost Acacia.” She found it hard to speak.

  “There are worse things to lose.” Virginia’s voice sounded as strained as her own.

  “Thanks for offering to give us money.”

  “Fiona, it’s lovely to hear your voice. Where are you ringing from?”

  “Gabby’s.”

  “Well, I mustn’t run up her bill. Thanks for letting me know about Acacia.”

  “Before you go – Keith and Juju are mad about each other.”

  “Really? That’s good. Give Keith my love. Tell him I’m sorry. And Gabby too.”

  “I will. Bye, Mum.”

  “Good-bye, Darling, thanks for ringing.”

  Fiona put down the phone and went out to the swimming pool.

  Keith handed her a glass. “To us, the Mitchells and Eumeralla,” he said. “And the new owners of Acacia.”

  “Very sporting,” said Gabriella.

  “Some of the reasons I had for wanting Acacia were unworthy,” he confessed. “I wanted to get back at a few people.”

  “Who?” asked Fiona.

  “My first girlfriend’s parents. They were rich. We wanted to get married, but her father didn’t want his daughter to marry a postman. His house was vulgar and so was he. He didn’t even hold his knife properly. I’ve put up with slights from rich snobs who think their money makes them better than me. But that was a poor reason for wanting Acacia.”

  “But you had other reasons too – good ones,” said Gabriella.

  Eumeralla

  August 1972

  How I wish I could write – The Old Homestead, Acacia. Greg found out who’d bought it and he’s written to them welcoming them to the Darling Downs and inviting them to visit when they’ve settled in.

  Mum asked Gabby if she’d like to go to Sydney for a holiday, but her temporary teaching job’s been extended till Christmas, so Mum’s coming up to Queensland for two weeks. She’s lonely in Sydney without Dad.

  Gabby’s cancelled the sale of her house, but I’m selling my unit. I’ve got a buyer and it wouldn’t be fair to pull out. I asked Greg this morning about me putting money into Eumeralla, but he still thinks I should give it a year. He must doubt me. I’ll show him. The big news is that we’re getting electricity in two weeks, but only in this house. We had a vote on whether to get a flushing toilet or electricity. Eleanor and I wanted a new toilet, but we were outvoted. Tom, Neil and Keith will still be on lamps and torches, but as they eat here it doesn’t matter. Keith’s washing machine is standing ready in the laundry. Electricity will save lots of time, but I’ll miss the lamps – they were romantic. But none of us will miss taking all day to do the washing.

  ***

  As soon as darkness fell, Eleanor flicked the switch and the room flooded with light from the naked bulb in the middle of the ceiling. “It’s as bright as day.”

  Fiona screwed up her eyes. “It’s awfully harsh. We need light shades.”

  “Let’s try out this washing machine thing. You and Keith can show us how it works,” Eleanor said as they all went into the laundry.

  Fiona put a pile of sheets in the machine. She put in the washing powder and turned on the switch. “That’s it,” she said.

  Eleanor looked incredulous. “We don’t have to do anything else?”

  “No,” Keith assured her. “All we have to do is hang them out.”

  Greg looked dubious. “I’m sure it’ll use too much water.”

  “Don’t be such a drag,” said Eleanor.

  “It’ll be worse than a drag if we run out of water.”

  Keith, seeing Eleanor’s mutinous expression, spoke before she could say anything more. “The drum of the machine is a lot smaller than the copper and those two sinks. Shall we measure the water levels and see how things are after a few weeks?”

  Greg grunted. “All right, but if that thing uses too much – it’s going.”

  “If the cavemen had had your mentality, we’d still be living in caves,” said Eleanor.

  Eumeralla

  September 1972

  Today we met the new owners of Acacia. They are in their thirties and have three young sons. They came in a Bentley. They seem nice, the children are well behaved and the dogs liked them. They’re living in the old homestead, which they adore, and they’re going to demolish the new one. Mum will be pleased that the home she loved so much is appreciated by someone else. One of their first priorities is to begin a tree- planting project. Because they don’t want to compete with us they’ll grow cotton instead of wheat, but they will have sheep for wool. And they are enthusiastic about our barter system. They have a big shearing shed and said we could use that. It’s good that they’ve got lots of money – they’ll spend it on things that are important.

  We went on a shopping spree and bought a fridge to replace the ice chest and an electric cooker to replace the wood stove. We bought bedside lamps, a supply of light bulbs and shades too. Greg tried to curb our spending, but Eleanor wouldn’t let him.

  ***

  “Keith, you look so well,” said Virginia when he met her at Brisbane airport. “How’s Fiona?”

  “You’ll see for yourself soon.”

  “Really?”

  He put her cases in the boot of Fiona’s MG. “It was going to be a surprise, but, yes she wants to see you.”

  Virginia felt a flood of happiness. On the drive out of Brisbane, she tried to work out what she was going to say. ‘Hello, Fiona, how are you? No, I can’t say that ... not after all the bitterness between us. Oh, Fiona, I’m sorry.’ She took a breath intending to ask Keith what he thought, but asking a twenty-three year old for a
dvice seemed ridiculous.

  By the time they reached Eumeralla Virginia’s excitement had evaporated. ‘I’m sure to say something rash and upset her again,’ she thought.

  “Are you okay, Aunty Virginia?”

  “I’ve longed for this meeting, but now the moment’s almost here, I’m ...”

  “Just be yourself.”

  “Being myself has never worked with Fiona.”

  Keith stopped outside his cabin. “This is where I live.”

  “Greg lived here with his father,” said Virginia. “He was ancient – well he probably wasn’t really, he just seemed it to Eleanor and me. He used to tell us stories about when he was a drover.” She looked at the beginnings of a garden and the path edged with seedlings leading to the front door. “This will be lovely when it’s finished.”

  They went inside. “It looks better than it did in his day.” She looked at the oil lamps hanging from hooks in the ceiling. Even with limited furniture Keith had made it homely. A bookcase was full of paperbacks, Laurence’s chess set was on a low table and the only armchair was covered with a cream cotton throw. Other spaces were filled with family photographs. To her surprise Francesca’s photo stood on the window sill. She picked it up.

  “Part of Dad’s history ... it seemed wrong to keep it hidden,” he said.

  She nodded.

  “Now we won’t be moving to Acacia, I’ll make improvements. I’m going to build a verandah. Let’s go for a bit of a walk.” He looked at her smart white linen suit and high heeled shoes. “Will you be okay?”

  “Yes, fine. I didn’t know we were coming to Eumeralla or I would have worn more sensible clothes.” They went outside and she looked round appreciatively. “This reminds me of Acacia – all the glorious trees.” She heard a horse and shaded her eyes. “It’s June. I nearly said Fiona.”

  Blonde hair flying behind her, the rider cantered up to them.

  “Hello, June. I’m Virginia – your aunt.”

  “Hi, Mum.”

  Virginia looked at her in astonishment. “You can ride!” She turned to Keith, but he had gone.

  Fiona grinned. “Tom taught me. I take it Dad didn’t tell you?”

  “No. Whenever I ring him he hangs up.” Virginia looked at the ground. There was an awkward silence. “What’s the plan now?” she asked. “Is Keith taking me back to Gabby’s?”

  “No way! Eleanor’s itching to see you again. You’re staying for dinner. Neil and Juju are cooking something special.” She dismounted. “Let’s go up to the house.”

  Virginia stroked the horse’s head. “What’s his name?”

  “Monty,” Fiona said, taking the reins.

  “How’s your father?”

  “Not his usual self. I’m sure he’s missing you.”

  They walked in silence for a while. Virginia was terrified of saying the wrong thing and she knew Fiona found it hard to make up after a quarrel. ‘I’ve got to tell her I’m sorry,’ she thought. “I haven’t apologized yet,” she began hesitantly. “But I can’t make excuses for the lies I told. To say ‘sorry’ sounds trite – but I am sorry I was a bad mother.”

  “I was a bad daughter.”

  “No you weren’t ... it was me.”

  Fiona stopped to let Monty graze. “You and I should never have been mother and daughter. I was a disappointment – ”

  “No you weren’t.”

  “I was. You needed a well-behaved child. It must have been awful being besieged by complaints from the teachers whenever you visited the school. And I needed a relaxed mother. You were too fussy and forever worrying. I felt you were always watching me.”

  Virginia chose her words carefully. “I had this fear that something would happen to you. When you were ill I fretted in case it was fatal, when you were late home from school I thought you’d had an accident. I hoped you’d just missed the bus, but I dreaded that you’d fallen under it. Whenever you were late back from the beach I thought you’d been attacked by a shark. When you started going out with boys, if you weren’t home by midnight I worried that he’d crashed the car and you were dead or in hospital. It sounds absurd, but you were precious to me. I had no idea I was damaging you.”

  “Monty, hurry up. There’s better grass in the paddock.”

  “Er, does Eleanor know that I told you she was ...”

  “An alcoholic? No.”

  “Thanks for not telling her.”

  “Did you know that Jonathan was unfaithful?”

  Virginia was startled. “What? Fiona, you change the subject so dramatically. You never warn anyone – you just plunge in. What makes you think he was unfaithful?”

  “Eleanor said he was. How did you feel when he left her?”

  “Upset and furious with him. I went to Brisbane to persuade him to come back. He said he loved Eleanor, but was desperate for children.”

  “So he must have been intending to find another woman?” Fiona said as they reached the paddock.

  “Well ... yes. But there wasn’t anyone on the scene when I was in Brisbane with him. He was dejected and missing her and Eumeralla. Even if you and June hadn’t been born, I’m convinced he would have come back eventually. He wasn’t suited to suburban life, even though he’d made friends and joined cricket and tennis clubs.” She opened the gate and followed Fiona through. “If he had found another woman I doubt the marriage would have lasted long.”

  “Maybe he was planning on getting some girl pregnant and then bringing the baby back to Eleanor,” mused Fiona, as she took off the bridle and reins.

  Virginia shook her head. “That would have been despicable.”

  “But he wanted Eleanor and he wanted children. He might have seen it as a way of getting both,” argued Fiona, hanging the reins over the fence.

  “Johnny didn’t use people. He wouldn’t have put a woman through hell just to get what he wanted. And he was so straightforward I can’t imagine him being devious enough.”

  Fiona bent down to undo the girth. “But some woman might have loved him to distraction. It would be her suggestion, you know – a noble sacrifice. She would see her reward as being his gratitude. Perhaps they had a pact. She could see the baby and be its godmother or something. And at the end of the war there was a shortage of men. Especially handsome ones.”

  “Oh, Fiona, you’re letting your romantic imagination run riot. If that was so, he would have told Eleanor and he didn’t.”

  They left the paddock and walked to the house.

  Eleanor waved from the verandah. She ran down the steps and threw her arms around Virginia. “It’s wonderful to see you.” She laughed. “Stop crying, you’ll set me off.”

  Virginia’s tears were partly emotion and partly shock as she looked in vain for the young woman she had known. It was not just the grey streaks in Eleanor’s hair: she looked weary and the skin under her eyes was wrinkled and smudged with dark rings. Her hands were mottled with liver spots and her face and neck were leathery. Only her brown eyes with their clear whites were the same. ‘She’s let herself go,’ thought Virginia. ‘But at least she’s still got a husband. Have I? Probably not.’

  Eleanor linked her arm through Virginia’s and walked to the steps. “Tomorrow we’ll go for a ride ... just the two of us and we can catch up on the last twenty four years.”

  “Fiona told me you thought Johnny was unfaithful,” said Virginia as they rode the horses at walking pace beside the creek the next day.

  “He left me because he thought I couldn’t have children, so he wasn’t going to live like a monk, was he?”

  Virginia wondered if Fiona’s theory was correct. Jonathan had loved Eleanor since they were children and his devotion had never wavered.

  “When he came back, why did you send him away?”

  “I couldn’t hurt Greg. We were engaged. He was a good man.”

  “Did you love him ... Greg, I mean?”

  Eleanor stopped and dismounted. Crossing her arms she leant on the horse and buried her face in his m
ane. “Oh, God,” Virginia heard her murmur.

  She slid out of the saddle. “Eleanor. I’m sorry.”

  “I was going to tell him I couldn’t marry him. I sent Johnny away to punish him and show him that he couldn’t just pick me up when he felt like it. Greg doesn’t know, but I was going to break our engagement and have Johnny back.”

  “Did he admit he was unfaithful?”

  “No. I only found out a year after he’d died.”

  “Who told you?”

  “No one.”

  “Then what makes you think he was?”

  Eleanor’s expression was bleak. “I just know.”

  CHAPTER 19

  Eumeralla

  September 1972

  The garden is ablaze with colour. The yellow of the wattle and the purple and blue of the jacaranda and virgilla trees contrast with the green leaves and grass. Spring has always been my favourite season – here it’s even more so. But, as Tom reminded me when I was raving about the beauty, the snakes are coming out of hibernation. We’ve got to be extra careful because they are a bit dopey so we’re more likely to tread on them.

  I’ve been helping to get the sheep over to Acacia for shearing. Red’s fantastic at rounding them up. The men hardly had to whistle at all. Toddles was good too, but not as nimble as Red, who was more alert. He’s got remarkable reflexes. The sheep went into the shearing sheds dirty and scruffy and came out white.

  My unit has been sold, and Dad is renting a flat near Aunty Ruth. I was hoping he’d go back to Sydney. I got a letter from Mum and she’s upset about it. She’s written to him and he replied, but she said it was a brief letter. Fortunately he didn’t mention divorce, just told her they would see each other at Tree’s wedding and he’ll meet her at the airport.