When I worked in Sydney I had a friend who believed in reincarnation. Some things she said made sense. People are born with debts and credits from previous lives. If we don’t pay or get our rewards in this lifetime we pay or get them in another. It’s called karma. It’s scary because you don’t know about it. But she said that your soul remembers. It’s comforting to think that Aunty Ruth might come back, but when I told her this she said she wanted to die and stay dead and that only fools rave about life being sacred. She said that this life has been bad enough and she doesn’t want another one, but refused to tell me why it’s been so awful. It must be something to do with her not marrying.
The country is already gripped by election fever. The newspapers are predicting a Labor victory. I hope so. The Liberal Party has been in too long and since Menzies retired they haven’t had a decent leader. Aunty Ruth is going to vote Labor, because she knows how much I want them to win. ‘Don’t tell David or your parents,’ she said, ‘They’ll have coronaries.’
Mum hasn’t mentioned the elections to me. Once she would have provoked me into defending Labor’s policy and called me a communist.
***
Although Tom was looking forward to Kim’s visit, he was apprehensive. It was her reaction to Eumeralla’s toilet that worried him most when he compared it to the modern bathroom in her cottage with its white tiles, shining chrome taps and hygienic-smelling lavatory. His father was annoyed with him for mentioning it in front of his mother, because she renewed her campaign for a new one. They compromised by deciding to paint it.
“A vet will be used to worse stinks,” Keith assured him as they washed the car. “When did you last do this?”
“Two years ago. Might have been three. Kim’s got a Mercedes. All we’ve got is a clapped out old rust bucket.”
“Why are you so bothered?”
Tom rinsed the suds away. “What if she thinks I’m after her money?”
“You’re not, so she won’t.”
“For the first time in my life I want to impress a girl.” He frowned. “Hell, it looks worse clean ... the mud was covering the holes.”
“We can polish it.”
“Nah. It might fall apart with all the attention. Let’s go and clean the dunny.”
“What a fabulous place,” said Kim as Tom drove down the track.
Relieved that the car had not broken down, he dared not stop in case it stalled, but he slowed so she could see her surroundings. Her enthusiasm sounded genuine and he was impressed that she noted the differences between Eumeralla and other properties they had passed. She remarked on the smaller wheat fields and the way they and the grazing pastures were interspersed with areas of woodland. The house came into view and he hoped she would not make unfavourable comparisons with Kingower’s homestead. He parked under a tree. “We made it.” He grinned and switched off the engine. “We rarely go as far as Brisbane.”
“Ah, look at the dog. It must be Toddles, because I’m assuming Red is red.”
June came onto the verandah and waved.
Kim expelled her breath. “She’s so like Fiona. I knew they were identical, but ... gosh.”
As they went through the gate, Toddles bounded down the steps. Instead of running to Tom she went straight to Kim, who squatted to pat her.
“Watch out – here comes Red,” June called in warning.
“Steady ...” Tom began to say, but to his astonishment Red was walking sedately towards them, his eyes riveted on Kim. He stood in front of her wagging his tail.
June came down the steps. “Crikey, he’s usually hostile to strangers.” She smiled at Kim. “You’ve got a fan.”
Tom scratched his head. “Fiona told me you had a special way with animals, but ... I didn’t think it was this special.”
“Lunch is nearly ready,” said June.
Tom was delighted by the way Kim fitted in at Eumeralla. Any natural awkwardness when a stranger is thrust into the midst of a close-knit family was erased by Toddles and Red’s attachment to her. Knowing the history of the Lancasters and Clarksons, he had been worried that Keith might be cool, but he was diverted by Toddles and Red’s refusal to leave Kim’s side.
After lunch Tom took her to the paddock to see the horses. As soon as he opened the gate they trotted over. This was unusual unless they were hungry. Normally he had to whistle to get their attention. But they ignored him and greeted Kim with rapture.
He started at her in amazement. “You’re magic.”
She stroked the horses in turn. “Mum thinks it’s spooky.”
“Have you always been like this?”
Kim nodded. “When we were children Tree wanted a kitten so Mum and Dad got her two for her birthday. They carried them into our room and put them on her bed. But the kittens just gazed at me. They became mine.”
“Did she mind?”
“She was upset at first, but she got over it. Now she accepts that every animal on Kingower, whoever it belongs to, is really mine. A few years ago Toby was dumped at the vets where we work. I was on holiday in Sydney and she brought him home hoping that she could make him her dog, but when I got back he moved into my cottage.”
Tom smiled down at her. She smiled back and he kissed her. “Magic,” he murmured.
That night Kim wrote to Catriona. After describing Eumeralla she continued:
Tom’s teaching Gabby to ride. She and Keith are polite to me, but I can feel underlying antipathy, especially from her. To their credit they try to disguise it. Isn’t it sad how the rancour from one generation spills into the next? Personality-wise June and Fiona are very different. June’s friendly and, unlike Fiona, she has no idea how beautiful she is.
Am I’m courting danger by having a relationship with Tom? Now that my premonition about Aunty Ruth has come true I’m uneasy about having anything to do with Fiona’s family. But it’s a divine place and I would be happy here. Tom’s parents are great and we get on well
There’s no T.V. or stereo, just a radio. After dinner they play cards, chess, scrabble or read. They are all poetry fanatics. Greg’s favourite is Banjo Patterson and Tom’s is Henry Lawson. Juju and Neil like the war poets.
At the end of Kim’s holiday Tom drove her to the airport.
“I’ll miss you, Magic,” he said as they sat holding hands in the departure lounge. “You’ll come again, won’t you?”
Kim put her head on his shoulder. “Yes. Will you come to Kingower?”
“As soon as I can.”
She considered telling him about her premonition. That Fiona had obviously not told him about the conflict between them puzzled her. Remembering how she and Catriona had maligned her character before Stefan had met her, she felt a twinge of guilt. ‘She told Tom that I was terrific with animals. We didn’t say one nice thing about her to Stefan.’
When her flight was called they stood up and kissed.
“I’ll miss you, Tom.”
“Not for long, Magic.” He wiped away her tears. “Now skedaddle, or the plane will leave without you.”
Tom had never written to a girlfriend before. ‘I’ve always said I would, but never got around to it,’ he thought as he opened a writing pad. ‘The excuse was that I was too busy, but now I reckon that I didn’t want to.’ He unscrewed the top of the ink bottle and filled the fountain pen he had borrowed from his mother. There was a name engraved on it and when he looked he saw that it had belonged to Jonathan.
Dearest Magic,
If I was a poet I’d write you a poem, but if I attempted it you’d laugh or cringe, depending on how bad it was. I miss you already and so do Toddles and Red. They ran up to the car when I got back and were miserable that you weren’t with me. Not having you here is lonely. I’ve never been lonely before. I’m not a romantic bloke, but the night when you came back here and we read poetry to each other will always be one of my best memories. And you started reading In Flanders Fields and got emotional and couldn’t finish it. And then ... Wow! Those memories will have to keep
me going till next time.
“Gracious,” June teased him the next morning when he arrived for breakfast and put the letter on the pile to be taken to the post office. “You’ve actually written to her.”
Neil grinned. “You’re smitten.”
“Good,” said Eleanor. “This place could do with a girl like Kim.”
Tom frowned. “Her money, you mean?”
“No. For herself. I thought she was wonderful. Her way with animals was extraordinary. Id like to see you settled.”
***
When Margot finished icing the chocolate cake she had baked for her friends, who were coming to play bridge that afternoon, she went into the garden to cut some flowers. ‘Gold and white chrysanthemums for the lounge and red roses with fern for the dining room,’ she thought. She was pulling on her gardening gloves when she saw Kim walking up the path. “Hello, sweetheart.” She saw Kim’s happiness with a feeling of dread, but managed to smile and say, “Your holiday was obviously a success.”
Kim hugged her. “It was brilliant.” She bit her lip. “Part of me was hoping that I’d lose interest in him once we spent a week together.”
“All of me was,” confessed Margot. “But I knew you wouldn’t. He’s an impressive man and you’ve got a great deal in common. I was immensely fond of his mother.”
Kim picked up the wicker basket and held it while Margot cut the flowers. “But having such a close association with Fiona’s family might bring the factors together that could destroy the Lancasters. I didn’t tell Tom. If only Oliver would tell me what to do.”
“Is Fiona going back to Eumeralla?”
“I don’t know. Tom misses her and so does Juju, but Eleanor didn’t want to talk about her. I thought it was strange.”
Margot went to the rose bushes. “The whole thing’s strange. If she’s left Eumeralla for good maybe that’s the safest place for you to be.”
“But it’s not just me, it’s the whole family. I haven’t counted Aunty Ruth. Mum’s only a Lancaster by marriage. Does that count?”
“I don’t know, Kim. She was Oliver’s mother.” She cut long-stemmed roses and laid them in the basket. “Don’t fret about me, I’m too old. Catriona and Stefan aren’t happy. They put on an act, but they’re not convincing. I thought things would be all right once they got married.”
“So did I.” Kim buried her nose in one of the roses and inhaled its perfume. “But I suspect that Stefan’s still infatuated with Fiona.”
Margot pulled off her gloves. “Everything in this family begins and ends with her. Have you got time for coffee?”
“No, I said I’d got to the clinic and help Tree when I got back.”
Margot watched her walk down the path. The sun caught her hair making it gleam like black enamel paint. ‘God, please keep her safe ... and Catriona. I’ll sacrifice myself to save them from danger.’ She went into her bedroom and picked up the photo of Oliver that had been taken a few weeks before he died. As an infant he had looked as if he was deep in thought, as a child he was fey. “Protect them from peril, Oliver,” she whispered.
***
When the school day ended Stefan was reluctant to go home and when he did he shut himself in his study pretending to mark essays or set homework long after he had finished them. His reputation as a teacher was flourishing. He had set up coaching sessions after school for students who needed extra tuition for the end-of-year exams. In reality these were so he could avoid Catriona. ‘Great teacher – useless husband,’ he berated himself as he sat staring out of the window. ‘Once I couldn’t wait to see Tree at the weekends. Now we live together in a lovely house, with a lovely garden. We’ve got a cleaner and a gardener and plenty of money. There are no interfering in-laws. Just Fiona. And how the hell am I going to survive the summer holidays?’
Before their marriage Catriona had been radiant. Now, although she tried to pretend otherwise in front of others, with artificial laughter and smiles, she was miserable and jealous. Hearing her footsteps in the hall he pulled a sheaf of papers towards him and picked up his red pen. “Come in,” he said when she knocked.
She opened the door. “Dinner’s nearly ready.”
“Oh, thanks, I didn’t realize the time.”
“I thought we could have it outside. How about some wine?”
He tried to look enthusiastic. “That’d be good.”
She had put the garden table and chairs under a tree and the air was perfumed by the flowerbed, which was planted with stocks, dahlias and roses. The dinner should have been a joy, but their conversation, as they ate the cheese salads, was strained. Once, he knew, they would have discussed politics and the news and exchanged stories about their days at work. They would have looked forward to going to bed and making love. Almost without being aware of it, he finished his salad.
Catriona got up and took his plate. “Was that all right?”
“What? Oh ... the salad. It was delicious. Thanks.”
She came back with bowls of strawberries and ice cream. “You’re working very hard,” she said. “Did you have to do all this coaching at Wesley?”
He put down his glass. “Is this an interrogation?”
“No! I just – ” Her expression became combative. “Why the guilt, Stefan? Thinking about her?”
He pushed back his chair. Only the presence of the neighbours in the next garden stopped him from shouting at her.
Catriona followed him inside. “What is it about her?” Her voice trembled. “What is it?”
In the doorway of his study he turned round. “If you saw people throwing stones at a kitten, what would you do?”
“Try and rescue it, of course.”
“That’s how I feel about Fiona.”
She looked incredulous. “It’s my family that need rescuing from Fiona.”
He shook his head. “You mentally torture her. All of you, except your mother who tolerates her, but only just. I’ve seen the supercilious way your father looks at her. I’ve witnessed some of the scenes. Margot, who you see as a saint, lied about her real father – ”
“And Virginia, who’s not a Lancaster, lied about her mother.”
“Kittens have two weapons,” he said. “Sharp teeth and claws. Fiona fights the Kingower clan with the only weapons she’s got ... the truth and your inability to see her as she really is.”
“We see her as she really is, Stefan. It’s you who has illusions about her.”
CHAPTER 22
On Saturday the second of December Catriona made the breakfast for herself and Stefan. She wore the cream silk nightdress and kimono that her mother had bought her for her trousseau. She squeezed the juice from four oranges, and began cooking scrambled eggs with the new utensils that had been wedding and engagement presents.
‘I’ve got so much, but so little,’ she thought. ‘Now Aunty Ruth’s coming to live at Kingower and Fiona will visit her every weekend and that will unsettle Stefan again. When he sees her today I’ll want to look away, but I won’t be able to. I’ll look at him looking at her. He won’t want to look at her, but he won’t be able to help it. And she’ll look at him and he’ll feel unravelled.’
Stefan came into the kitchen wearing a burgundy dressing gown. ‘Why do men look okay in the morning before they’ve showered and shaved and why do women look a mess? Or is it just me? I bet Fiona looks sexy.’
“Want me to do anything?” he asked.
‘He’s trying so hard and he shouldn’t have to. It should come naturally,’ she thought desperately. ‘If I was Fiona he’d smother me with kisses and the eggs would burn.’ “Could you stick the bread in the toaster and put the butter on the table, Darling?” she asked brightly. ‘I sound false,’ she thought. ‘Why am I so controlled? If I did what I felt, I’d yank the cloth off the table and hurl plates at the wall.’ She giggled.
He looked at her. “What’s funny?”
“Nothing.”
They sat at the table and drank the orange juice and ate the scrambled
eggs.
“Are the eggs okay?”
“Yes,” Stefan replied absently.
‘Give up,’ she thought. ‘He’s thinking about Fiona. He’ll see her again in a few hours. If I’d asked him if his elephants on toast were all right he wouldn’t have noticed.’ She probed her mind for something interesting to say. “Kim’s going to Eumeralla for a holiday. She’s keen on Fiona’s brother.”
“Really? When’s she going?”
‘Mention Fiona and he responds.’ She picked up the teapot. “She’s not sure yet. More tea?”
“No. I’m going to have a shower ... or do you want yours first?” he asked politely.
She suppressed a sigh. “No. Are we voting before we go to Kingower?”
“Yes.”
“If the papers are right, this time tomorrow we’ll have a Labor government.”
Stefan smiled. “Let’s hope so.”
After her shower Catriona dressed in jodhpurs and a white shirt. She tied her hair back and put on make-up and Dior perfume. ‘But I’m still plain,’ she thought as she looked in the mirror. ‘I wish I was beautiful. If I was, Stefan would never have fallen for Fiona.”
When they arrived at Kingower Fiona and Ruth had just pulled up in front of the homestead. David was helping Fiona take the cases out of the boot.
“Hello, Stefan,” said David. “You’re just in time to help carry the cases.”
Stefan didn’t know whether to smile or not. He found it unnerving being in the presence of a woman with terminal cancer. Ruth solved his dilemma. She acknowledged him cheerfully, as if her visit was the same as any other, enabling him to return her smile without feeling callous. He saw Margot walking over the lawn. She went straight up to Ruth and hugged her. When she turned away her eyes were full of tears. To his surprise Fiona put out her hand and touched her shoulder. The sympathetic gesture undid Margot completely. She spluttered and burst into tears. Catriona left his side and went to her. Ruth, the centre of the drama, remained unaffected by emotion. He picked up two of her cases and followed David down the track to Catriona’s old cottage.
Eumeralla - Secrets, Tragedy and Love Page 29