Eumeralla - Secrets, Tragedy and Love

by Joanna Stephen-Ward

  “You want me to stab you? That’d be useful.”

  His smile was grim. “While Catriona would probably rather be a widow at the moment, she’d be upset that her sister was going to spend the rest of her life in jail.”

  “I might get away with it. The way I feel now I wouldn’t have you on my conscience.”

  “She’ll be home soon so hurry up and either stab me and make your escape or slice up the tomatoes and cucumber.”

  She picked up the tomatoes and washed them. “Would you remain friends with him?”

  “Back to that again are we? No.”

  “Would you still have married Tree?”

  He opened the refrigerator and took out a jar of mayonnaise. “Of course not.”

  “Exactly. But that happened to me and you expect us to feel kindly towards Fiona who was going to be one of my bridesmaids. She did it out of spite. For years she’d resented us – we had brains, we could ride. When we grew up we were plain and she was beautiful. Finally she had a weapon. She’s wielding it now. Tree’s miserable because you’ve got a crush – ”

  “Fiona doesn’t know,” he said, mixing the yokes with a dollop of mayonnaise.

  “Don’t be ridiculous! Of course she does – it’s what she’s been wanting ever since she met you. She might not find you attractive, but it would suit her twisted mentality to know how much she’s causing you to suffer. I feel sorry for you, Stefan, because if Tree divorces you, you’ll lose the best wife you could ever have.”

  “I know,” he said in a voice that was deep with regret.

  “And you used to love her – before you met Fiona.” Tears filled her eyes and ran down her face. “I thought we were all going to be so happy.”

  “So did I, Kim. So did I.”

  ***

  The strain between Stefan and Catriona ruined Kim’s enjoyment of the ride on Saturday. Fiona had stayed behind to be with Ruth, and her absence would had been a relief if the men had not bombarded Kim with questions about her. Their disappointment that she was not on the ride had been annoying, but their exaltation when she joined everyone for dinner at the homestead was farcical.

  As soon as Kim got back to her cottage she had a shower and got into her pyjamas. She was just about to make some cocoa when there was a knock on the door. Toby walked out of the kitchen, but did not growl.

  It was Fiona. “Kim, can I talk to you?”

  “I was just about to go to bed.” Instantly she regretted her curt reply. “Sorry. I’m tired,” she said in a more friendly tone, knowing it would be foolish to antagonize Tom’s sister.

  “It’s important.”

  “Okay. I’m making some cocoa; would you like some?”

  “Thanks.”

  They went into the kitchen. While Kim heated the milk they talked about Eumeralla.

  “What’s so urgent?” Kim asked, putting a mug in front of Fiona.

  “Stefan told me about your premonitions. After Aunty Ruth dies I’m going to England permanently. I don’t want to cause this family any harm. I’ve never wanted that.”

  Kim knew she had to hide her delight. ‘If I show how happy I am, she’ll stay,’ she thought. “Are QANTAS transferring you?”

  “No, I haven’t been there long enough, but they’ll give me a reference.”

  “What will you do? Where will you live?” Kim asked, putting a tin of Margot’s homemade biscuits on the table.

  “Buy a flat somewhere in London and join a tennis club. And a ski club. Ski-ing in Europe’s fabulous. And now I can ride I can join a riding club. I’d go on lots of holidays. I still keep in touch with the friends I made there.”

  Kim wondered at Fiona’s lack of enthusiasm. She might have been telling someone how she was going to endure a long jail sentence. “Isn’t going to England a bit drastic?” she said. “You could just not come here any more. And stay away from Eumeralla when I’m there.”

  Fiona dunked a biscuit in her cocoa. “It’s not as simple as that. We were called May and June because – ”

  “You were born in May and June was born in June,” Kim finished impatiently.

  “Exactly. We’re identical twins and our mother couldn’t tell us apart. Then when we were a year old she cut me a fringe. It was only then she could tell which twin was which. Do you know what I’m saying?”

  “You might be June?” Kim felt a prickle of dread. “And June might be May?”

  Fiona nodded. “And you’re going out with Tom. So to be sure there’s no danger you’ll have to stop seeing him. June and Tom are close. If I go to England and never come back and the family are torn apart, it’ll be by June. Not me. And if you don’t see Tom – ”

  “June’s not like you.”

  Fiona drank the last of the cocoa and banged her mug on the table. “You mean she’s much nicer, don’t you? I know you hate me. It used to hurt, but recently I thought you’d warmed towards me. But now I can feel your hostility your face hardened when you saw me at the door. What have I done now?” She shoved back her chair. “Ah, don’t bother,” she said wearily. “I wanted to warn you. Even though it’s suited you, Tree and your father to castigate me for years, I don’t want anything to happen to any of you.” She left the cottage and slammed the door after her.

  Toby barked.

  Kim patted him. “It’s only Fiona in a temper.”

  Kingower

  December 1972

  My motives for telling Kim that June might be May were devious. If her premonition is real she’ll stop seeing Tom. With Kim off the scene he might fall for Gabby. I hope he won’t be too upset if Kim decides not to see him again, but he’s pragmatic. Her decision won’t blight his life. He’ll be a bit miserable for a while and then he’ll go on to the next one. And I hope that’ll be Gabby.

  Kim’s gone back to hating me again. She must have found out that Aunty Ruth is leaving me everything. I never thought she was mercenary.

  ***

  “What am I going to do?” Kim asked, praying that Margot agree with her theory that Fiona was May because her character was darker than June’s.

  Instead Margot looked dubious as she poured the coffee. “You’ll get over Tom,” she said finally. “It’s not as if you see him much, is it?”

  “But I want to see him again. He’s great.”

  “You’ve felt like this before. Tom’s nice, but so are lots of men.”

  Kim put a spoonful of sugar in her cup. “He’s different. I’ve never felt like this before.”

  Margot chuckled. “The number of times I’ve heard you say that.”

  “But I’m more sensible now. I want to settle down and have a family.”

  “You’ve only known each other since September,” Margot said, handing her a cup of coffee and a lamington.

  “I know what I want, and Tom is it. He’s sensitive, great with animals and he admires me. He won’t expect me to be a housewife.”

  “If you and Tom get married, would you be prepared to go and live on Eumeralla?”

  “I would have been, but now ... I don’t know.” She put her thumb in her mouth and nibbled at the nail. “Eumeralla has astronomical vet bills. If I lived in the Darling Downs I’d be in demand all over the place. There’d be things to discuss and we’d have to compromise. I’d have to tell him about my premonition.”

  “Which he probably wouldn’t believe. In any case, he’s too closely related to Fiona and June. You’ve got commitments here. You and Catriona want to start your own surgery.”

  “She can start her own surgery without me.”

  “She’s got too many problems. She needs you. Break it off with Tom.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Then why come asking me for advice?” snapped Margot. “Stop being selfish. What Fiona said is true. If June was born in May then Eumeralla’s not safe and neither is Tom. You’ve got to think of your family. You must see that. Even Fiona’s making a sacrifice. You must too. Because if your premonition comes true ... it won’t be Fiona’s fault
– it’ll be yours.”

  Only once had Kim been on the receiving end of Margot’s anger. She had been six and had kicked Catriona during a quarrel. Margot hadn’t smacked her or told her father. Her expression and a lecture delivered in chilling tones had made Kim quail. Tears stinging her eyes, she said, “I’ll write and tell him.”

  Margot put her arm around her. “Don’t tell him why or he’ll try and talk you out of it.”

  Kingower

  Christmas Day 1972

  This morning we all went to Church. Every time we sang a hymn I had to bite my lip to stop myself from bawling. Kim looked unhappy, so she must have decided not to see Tom any more. Our determination to make Aunty Ruth’s last Christmas the best ever was a failure. I thought about Eumeralla all day, and imagined them having a jolly Christmas lunch on the verandah. Tree’s pale. She might be pregnant. Neither she nor Stefan look happy about it, if she is.

  ***

  On the second of January Kim arrived back at her cottage at four in the morning, swaying with exhaustion but satisfied that she had saved the horse. Too tired to do anything other than scrub her hands and arms she put on her oldest pair of pyjamas and crawled into bed.

  When she heard knocking at the front door she groaned and got up, looking at the clock as she did. All the curtains were closed and in her befuddled state she was unsure whether it was nine o’clock in the morning or night. She opened the door and screwed up her eyes against the sun.

  “Got another man in your bed?” asked Tom. He looked and sounded sardonic.

  “No!” Ashamed of her scruffy pyjamas and stale breath she said, “Come in. Do you want some coffee?”

  He sauntered into the lounge. “I want some answers.”

  “Did you get my letter?” she asked, rubbing her eyes.

  “Sure did.” He pulled it out of his pocket and waved it at her. “I want to know why you can’t see me again. Don’t bother lying. I can take the truth – there are lots more females around. I’ll get over you, but I don’t like being cut off without a reason. Whenever I broke it off with a girl I’d tell her to her face and I’d tell her why. I expect the same.”

  “How did you get here?”

  “Plane. I hired the car at the airport. I can only stay a few days. Dad’s cross that I left at such short notice. So?”

  “It’s complicated, Tom.”

  “Nothing’s complicated, everything’s simple. People make complications. What is it – another bloke?”

  She shook her head.

  “Eumeralla not posh enough for you? Couldn’t take the dunny?”

  She smiled. “Come off it. I spend a lot of time with my arm stuck up the rear end of cows and horses. It’d take more than that to put me off you.”

  “You don’t look pleased to see me.”

  “I’m not. I’ve been up most of the night with a sick horse, I stink of sweat and I’ve got bad breath. The night before I didn’t get home from a New Year’s Eve party until six in the morning. My eyes feel as if I’ve got a cactus bush in them. Let me go and have a shower and clean my teeth.”

  “And give you time to think up an excuse for not seeing me again? No, tell me now.” He folded his arms. “Are you pregnant with another bloke’s baby?”

  “Your guesses are getting wilder.”

  “Okay. I’ve covered the worst things I can think of.” He sat on the sofa. “I’m not leaving till you tell me.”

  “All right.”

  When she had finished he laughed. “You silly galah. I thought it was something serious.” He jumped up and knelt beside her armchair. “There’s no such thing as premonitions.”

  “What about the snake and the foal and Aunty Ruth?”

  “Something subconscious. The first thing Fiona said when she saw June was ‘Juju’. They hadn’t seen each other since they were toddlers. You must have heard your mum and dad talking about Oliver when you were little.” He picked up her hand and kissed it.

  “I was three when I had the premonition about the snake,” Kim said, resenting his reference to Fiona.

  He pushed up her sleeve and stroked her forearm. “Do you remember it?”

  Her skin tingled at his touch. “No.”

  “So you’ve only got other people’s versions,” he said kissing her wrist. “They exaggerated things.”

  “Why would they do that?”

  “It made a good yarn.”

  “Then why did I say Oliver told me?”

  “Maybe you didn’t. Maybe you were babbling and you said something that sounded like ‘Oliver’, but wasn’t. You saw the snake in the bush and said something like ‘horrible’, which you pronounced ‘obble’. Anyway, what makes them think you didn’t see the snake?”

  “I was nowhere near the bush. Tree was about to go into it. She would have been bitten. We can’t just say this is all coincidence. You saw how I was with the animals.”

  “That’s different. Animals like you because they can sense something humans can’t. I said it was magic, but it’s probably something to do with the way you smell.”

  “Thanks.” She pulled a face. “I’ll have to change my perfume.”

  He stood up and pulled her into his arms.

  “Tom, let me have a shower.”

  “We can have one together after.” He kissed her. “You smell okay to me.”

  “At least let me clean my teeth.”

  He pushed up her top and stroked her breasts. Kim put her arms round him and kissed him. They sank to the floor.

  Tom pulled down her pyjama pants. “Magic, I’ve missed you.”

  During lunch at the homestead that afternoon Kim ignored the bleak looks Margot was giving her. Basking in Tom’s affection and content from lovemaking she had convinced herself that he was right. ‘I must have heard people talking about Oliver,’ she thought. ‘I don’t remember it, but there are photos of him around the house, so I made friends with him. He was more than just an imaginary friend, he’d once lived at Kingower and he was my brother. It’s natural that I’d build up some sort of relationship with him. Why didn’t Tree? Because we’re different and my imagination is more vivid than hers. No one knew I was around when they talked about Oliver ... children are small and hide behind and under things. That explains it.’

  “Would you like to go for a ride later?” she asked Tom.

  “Sure would.”

  “I’ll come with you,” said Fiona.

  Kim hid her annoyance. “Good,” she said graciously.

  “Come back to Eumeralla, Sis, we miss you. If you come in the winter all the snakes will be hibernating. Don’t go to England. Why do you want to go there anyway? Is it this absurd thing about Kim’s premonition?”

  She nodded. “The safest place for me to be is England.”

  “I agree,” said Margot.

  Tom laughed. “Women and their crazy visions. Don’t go to England – come back to Eumeralla with me. You can ride really well now.”

  Kim felt a familiar stab of jealousy. ‘But not as well as I can,’ she thought. ‘I’ll ride Devil today. I’m a hundred times better than Fiona – I’ll show him.”

  “Is joining them on the ride wise?” asked Ruth as she and Fiona walked back to the cottage.

  Fiona opened the front door. “I want to be with him.”

  “You’re torturing yourself.”

  “At least I can see what they’re doing,” she said, going into her bedroom. “If I stay here I’ll torture myself more by imagining them being all romantic. Why couldn’t he stay away? I didn’t seek him out. He came.”

  “To see Kim.”

  “Yes. I know how jealousy feels now,” Fiona said as she opened her wardrobe and pulled her jodhpurs off the hanger. “I’ve always envied Tree and Kim, but jealousy’s different. I understand how they felt when their boyfriends looked at me. I can understand how people can murder because of it.”

  “Don’t give into it. I didn’t,” Ruth said.

  “You’ve been jealous?”

>   “Of course. I just didn’t let it dominate me.”

  “Who were you jealous of?”

  “It doesn’t matter,” replied Ruth.

  “Yes it does. I’m interested.”

  “Everyone feels jealous at some point in their life. Hiding such a powerful emotion is hard, but you must do it. Stay here with me. We can play chess.”

  Fiona shook her head. “I can’t let them go off alone. I’ll be in torment all afternoon.”

  “Better to suffer for one afternoon than suffer for the rest of your life. Tom likes and respects you; don’t do anything to earn his derision.”

  Fiona picked up her riding hat. “I’m being pulled – I must go.”

  Tom and Kim were already at the paddock when Fiona arrived. Three horses were tethered to the fence. Fiona stared in alarm at the chestnut that was straining to be free. “Who’s riding Devil?”

  “I am,” said Kim, untying his reins.

  ‘Show-off,’ thought Fiona, relieved it wasn’t Tom.

  “Don’t ride him,” said Tom, as Devil’s eyes rolled.

  Kim stroked Devil and he became still. She mounted him gently and swiftly, but as soon as she was on his back he pranced, tearing up clods of earth. She leaned over his neck and stroked his ears. “Come on, boy, you can do it. We’re going for a ride. You’ll see lots of new things.” She smiled at Tom. “See, he’s calmer.”

  “He is,” said Tom. “But Snowy’s terrified of him. Trojan’s okay – he’s big and can defend himself. Have you ridden him before?”

  Kim smiled confidently. “No. I’m trying him out today.”

  Tom put his foot in the stirrup. “Maybe he’ll settle with some exercise. Where are we going?”

  “Not too far. An hour there and an hour back. We’ll stay away from the mountains. I want to keep him on the flat. Don’t let Snowy too close,” she said to Fiona, as she lead the way out of the paddock.