“Hey, don’t get crazy on me. I didn’t start it; she did.”
Max exhaled in frustration. “Well, I don’t know what to say except you’d better be nice to her at her graduation party. She’s worked really hard to graduate in the top ten percent of her class.”
“Well, you don’t have to worry about it. I’m going out of town this week, remember?” I pulled into Max’s driveway and put the car in park.
“No, I don’t remember that. You can’t go because we’re playing at her party.”
My head snapped toward him. “I can’t. This is the first time I’ve heard of this gig, and I have to leave for a few days. I can’t reschedule it. I’m sorry.”
“Oh my god, are you fucking serious? When are you leaving?”
“Wednesday. I’ll be back on Sunday. Sorry, but it can’t be helped. It isn’t my fault you didn’t tell me.”
Max grabbed the door handle. “Yeah, whatever. I know I told you. Her party is Saturday night. Can you come back early?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. Ask Tim’s brother to step in for me. I’ll do my best to get back, though. That work?”
“Yeah, fine.” Max opened the door. “Thanks for the ride.”
The door closed, and I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I couldn’t not go out of town, and coming back Saturday night would be tricky. But I’d do my best to be there for the band. As I drove home, I thought about telling Max why I am the way I am with Faith, but he wouldn’t understand. Shit, there were times I didn’t understand. All I knew was I couldn’t lose another person I cared about.
It was the day before Faith’s graduation and I wanted to drop off a gift to her since I knew I may not be in town for her party. Her parent’s cars weren’t in the driveway, which relaxed me. I was sure they wouldn’t want her around some rocker who lived in an old basement apartment and didn’t have a single family member. I’d met them several times, and they were very nice, but I don’t know if they’d approve of me for their daughter. I’d assume they’d want someone with a stable nine to five job.
I didn’t have much money. What I made with the band covered most of my expenses, but I covered the rest with a trust my father set up for me. He died when I was a kid, so I got money when I turned twenty-one. I needed to consider employment, but I only had a GED. That was another reason why I wasn’t good for Faith. All I could do was hope that the band made it big.
I pushed the beige button on Faith’s doorframe and waited for her to answer. Maybe she wasn’t home. I was about to knock when she opened the door in a short robe. Her hair was wet. I just looked at her from head to toe, which she noticed. She tried to pull her robe down to cover more of her legs. I liked her legs. They were short but shapely.
“Hey, Dude. Sorry I didn’t give you a heads up.”
“Um… can you excuse me a minute please? Come in. I’ll be right back.”
After walking me into the living room, she practically ran away. I sat on the couch with my leg bouncing up and down. The pictures of Faith with her parents at the Morrisons’ lake house made me grin. She was holding a fish and smiling. When I saw the lake behind her, chills ran through me as memories flooded my brain.
“Okay, I’m back. What’s up?” She changed into a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, and she looked amazing. Her hair was in a wet ponytail.
All of a sudden, I pictured her on all fours as I rocked into her, holding on to her hair. She called out my name as my dick thrust in and out of her. I kissed her back, and she howled through her orgasm, screaming my name.
“Ryker? Can you hear me?”
I came out of my fantasy and saw her waving her hands in front of my face. I tried to regain my composure. “Yeah, um, what did you say?”
“I asked if you could hear me. You zoned out.”
“Yeah, sorry. I wanted to bring you something. I’m not going to be able to make it to your graduation party—not that I was invited, but the band was. I’m going out of town.” I looked at her, and her eyes were glassed over. Shit. “It’s a gift.”
She laughed, which confused the hell out of me. I don’t get chicks at all.
“Did I say something funny?”
“No, I just can’t believe you got me a gift,” she said. “Guys are so puzzling. I mean, you act like you dislike me, and we’ve been arguing a lot lately. I’m just surprised. But thank you.”
I reached in my back pocket and pulled out her gift: two drumsticks wrapped in a blue ribbon.
She took them and said, “Thank you?”
I smiled. I focused on the sticks and not the fact that she’d questioned my gift. “Those were the first sticks I was able to buy for myself. I was a teenager and I didn’t have much—except these sticks. My life wasn’t…” I caught myself wanting to spill my heart out, which would have been terrible. “Let’s say they got me through some hard times.” I looked at her face and saw a tear run down her cheek. “Faith?” I stepped in front of her and wiped her tear away with my thumb. “Why are you crying?”
“I’m just overwhelmed. This is just so personal.”
I shrugged. “Well, these sticks got me through some hard times, so I’ve always considered them lucky. I’d be lost if I didn’t play drums.”
“And you want me to have them?”
“Yeah. Not that you need luck, because I know you’re smart, but you’re starting a new life now, and I figured everyone could use a token of luck.”
Our eyes were glued to each other’s. Faith kissed me on the cheek and hugged me. I felt warmth go through me. I needed to hang on to her, that much I knew. Faith was the only genuine woman in my life. Her body pressed against mine and her hands on my back stirred things in me that I’d never felt. I wished I wasn’t so damaged. I wanted to offer her something other than a broken heart, but I didn’t have anything else. And I couldn’t take the chance that I would lose whatever I had with her.
She broke the embrace and looked at me with glassy eyes. “Thank you, Ryker.”
After I watched him walk out the door, my hands landed on the wooden sticks he’d given me. They had to be one of his most valued possessions. I tried to stop thinking about it.
I grabbed the phone to call my parents. I needed to let them know I was moving out, and I wasn’t sure how they would take the news. My dad answered.
“Hi, Daddy, how’s it going?”
“Hi, sweetheart. Everything’s fine. Your mother and Mrs. Morrison are out shopping. Did you have a good weekend?”
“Yes, I did. I need to tell you about something.” I crossed my fingers and closed my eyes. “I ran into Max’s girlfriend Tyf, and she asked me to move in with her. I said yes. I think it’ll be good for me to be on my own.” I said all of that in one breath, and then I held it, waiting for his response.
“We’re proud of you Faith, and I think getting your own apartment is the next logical step.”
I exhaled.
“I suppose you want me to tell your mother?”
“Would you? That’d be great. I need to start packing. Thank you, Dad. I love you.” I hung up before he had a chance to change his mind.
I called Max and asked him if he wanted to come to the packing store with me to buy some moving boxes. He did and said he would drive me there. We agreed to meet outside in fifteen minutes. I changed, grabbed my purse, and headed outside.
“Thanks for coming with me,” I said as I got in his car.
“No problem.” Max pulled away from the curb and drove down our street. “Did I see Ryker come out of your house earlier?”
I said, “I really don’t understand him at all. Can you tell me why guys are so perplexing?”
“Ha! We aren’t perplexing at all, you women are.”
My thoughts spewed out of my mouth. “Well, maybe you’re not, but he is. Friday night he treated me like shit, and then last night he was nice to me—well, sort of. He throws me off kilter; it’s as if I have vertigo when I’m with him. Then today he brought me a gr
aduation present.” I looked out the window and shook my head. “I just don’t understand. There’s something going on with him. I know you hate to hear that, but it’s just exhausting trying to keep up.”
Max glanced over and then back at the road.
“I mean, what the hell would he want with me, right?” I continued. “A virgin? Pfft! I don’t know… What do you think?”
“Can you take a breath there, sparky?”
“Sorry, he gets me so riled up.”
“Yeah, I can tell. Look, I have no clue what’s up with Ryker. He seems really out of sorts lately, and now with him having to go away… I’m a little nervous because I don’t know what’s going on with him. I know he isn’t going to see his family because he didn’t have any. When he moved here, he lived in a foster home.”
“Well, that’s sad.” I felt horrible. I knew that he didn’t have family in town, but I’d never guessed he didn’t have family anywhere.
“I understand that you see Ryker with these other women, but trust me when I tell you they’re just ancillary.”
“Ancillary for what?” Our conversation wasn’t helping me sort out anything.
“When Tyf and I broke up, I still needed to… you know. So since I couldn’t have her, I had ‘ancillaries’.” He pulled into the store parking lot.
“Okay, well, I never want to be an ancillary person to him or anyone.”
“Exactly, and that’s why Ryker is the way he is with you. I know he cares—we’ve talked about it—but he doesn’t want to hurt you. He’s the one-night-stand type, and you’re the lifelong-partner type. That’s what I think, anyway.”
We got out of the car and walked into the store. I bought the packing supplies I needed, and Max carried them out and put them in his trunk.
On the drive home, I said, “Max, if I was with Ryker, would that bother you?”
“No, it wouldn’t, but I do worry. What if you guys got together and then had a huge falling out? We wouldn’t be able to hang out together, and things would be all weird.”
The air whipped through the open windows as my thoughts whipped around my brain. “So you’re saying if we got together, we wouldn’t stay together?” Sadness and disappointment engulfed me. Not being around Max was unimaginable. “You think I would lose you as my friend?”
“No, you would never lose me as your friend, and I’m not saying it wouldn’t work out. It would just be sad and weird if it didn’t.”
The rest of the ride home was quiet, and after Max brought my supplies in he left. I sat on my pink comforter and looked around. I packed up my desk and some of my summer clothes. All of my winter wardrobe would be stored in my parent’s basement until the fall.
Graduation had been great, and it was time to party. I wasn’t much of the party type, but my parents were, and they had rented a pavilion at the park. It was a beautiful sunny day, which were few and far between in Rochester. I had invited some classmates—except Paige, of course—but they didn’t stay long. They all had other parties to attend.
Raging Urge was there, though. Well, almost. Ryker didn’t come. Tim’s brother, Michael, sat at the drums, and it just wasn’t the same. When the band started playing, people who weren’t even invited to my party showed up.
We needed to be out of the park by eight, so we all worked together to pack up. I thanked my parents and the guys in the band for a great night. I was spending my first night at Tyf’s, well, my new place, so she and Max hung out with me. The park was adjacent to the beach, and I wanted to go and sit on the sand for a while.
As I made my way to the shoreline, I stared at the water. It was getting dark, and the moon made the otherwise bleak water glisten. I watched the waves roll in and wondered what mystery they held. What had they seen? Where did they start and end? Who traveled on them, and where were they going? Did they reach their destination?
I was startled when I heard someone clear their throat. I turned to find Ryker holding a six pack.
“Hey, you’re back.”
He smiled. “Yeah. I’m back.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I went to the park and saw Max’s car, so I figured we could crack a few of these open with him.”
My heart filled with disappointment. How silly of me to think he came there for me. “Oh, well, he’s off with Tyf. They went toward the closed pavilion. You can find them there.” I turned toward the water.
“Nah, they’re probably getting it on. I’ll hang with you if that’s okay.” He sat on the beach and opened a beer. He looked at me. “Want one?”
“I don’t see why not.” I sat next to him. “So how was your trip? Where’d you go?”
He handed me a beer and took a long slip of his. “Just had things to do. It was okay.”
He obviously didn’t want to tell me where he went, so I looked back toward the waves and sipped my beer. “Doesn’t the water look amazing tonight?”
“It looks the same to me—just wet.”
I looked at him then back to the water. “Just wet? It’s so pure, yet tainted in a way. Forceful, yet serene. I love it.”
“I hate it.”
“What? How can you hate it?” I looked at him
He had already drained his first beer and opened another one. “I’ll be right back. Stay here.” He got up and walked away.
I knew he would be back because he’d left his beer. At least, I hoped he would. My chin rested on my bent knees. It was getting chilly. The cold beer slid down my throat, making me colder, but I enjoyed it. Using the hem of my shirt, I twisted the cap off a second bottle, and I took a swig. I set the bottle in the sand, making a cup holder of sorts, and rubbed my legs to keep them warm. I should have worn jeans, not a skirt.
“Here, I had this in my trunk.”
Turning, I saw Ryker with a navy blue blanket. “You keep blankets in your trunk?”
He nodded. “Always. It’s a force of habit. Ya never know where you’ll end up.” He unfolded the blanket.
“What do you mean? Why wouldn’t you know where you’ll end up?”
His eyes looked sad and empty. I wondered what the truth was, but I knew he wouldn’t tell me.
“Never mind, forget I said anything…” He grabbed his beer, held it up, and nodded for me to pick up mine.
I grabbed it out of the makeshift cup holder and raised it.
“To you. Congratulations on graduating,” he said.
I smiled, tapped my bottle against his, and took a long sip. I was starting to love the taste of beer, and it was starting to go to my head. I should slow down. I set the bottle back in the sand and laid back on the blanket.
“Too bad you don’t carry pillows.” I laughed and tried to bunch the blanket under my head.
He laid back and extended his right arm. “Here, you can use my arm.”
I moved my head to his arm and felt his muscle flex. It wasn’t as soft as a pillow, but it was definitely more comfortable. The man confused me, but my head was buzzing from the beer, so it didn’t matter. I looked at the stars and closed my eyes.
“Making a wish?”
Ryker’s voice sounded sexier than it had ten minutes earlier. Maybe it was the alcohol; maybe it was just him.
“Hmm, I don’t know. I just like all the wonders that are out there,” I said, my eyes still closed.
“Wonders? What are you wondering about?”
A cool breeze rushed over us, making me rub my arms. “Not me, them—the stars. Don’t you wonder what they’ve seen? I mean, they’re above everything, so they must see it all.”
He shifted uncomfortably.
I turned toward him. “I’m sorry. Did I say something wrong?”
His eyes seemed darker all of a sudden. “No. I’ve just never thought about it that way.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Oh my God! Why did I ask that?
“Nope. I’m good. Nothing to talk about.” He remained stoic and looked back at the sky.
I felt let down,
and I didn’t really know why. Hell, I knew he wouldn’t confide in me. I just wished I knew what was going on with him. “Okay, you just looked like you had something to say.” I mentally slapped myself for my continued verbal spewing.
He moved his arm, making my head fall back onto the blanket. I thought he would get up, but he rolled over to hover above me as if he was going to do a push up. I just stared at him. Not knowing what to do and, quite frankly, a little timid, I didn’t move.
“So was Paige at your party tonight? I was hoping to see her.” He raised his eyebrows.
I shoved him away and stood. He didn’t deserve a reply. I walked toward the water and prayed that my eyes wouldn’t shed any tears over him and his assholeness. I heard laughter and saw Tyf and Max walking toward me, hand in hand.
“Hey there.” Max looked at me and then back to where I’d left Ryker. “What’s going on? You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. How’re you guys doing?”
Tyf smiled, and Max said, “We’re great. We were going to go sit on the dunes for a while and watch the moon, but if you want to leave, then we can go.”
The waves crashed against the shore, reminding me to roll with life’s moments whether they were good or bad. Spoiling their night because Ryker had spoiled mine wasn’t an option. “Go ahead. I’m just going to sit here and watch the water for a while.”
Max kissed my forehead. “We won’t be long, okay? If you want to leave, just text me or Tyf.”
I watched them walk away, and I heard Max say hi to Ryker. I walked over to a large rock and sat on it, just listening to the tide roll in. The sound of the water, and the beer were making me sleepy. Dealing with Ryker was exhausting too. I decided to get up and put my feet in the cool water in hopes it would wake me up. My shoes flew a foot in front of me as I kicked them off. My feet hit the water, and the shock of the temperature startled me. I hadn’t thought it would be bath water, but damn, it was downright cold. I hopped back and tripped on something, making me fall to the sand. I was amused until a hand gripped my arm.
“Why are you going in the water alone? You should never do that!” Ryker sounded pissed.
Ryker Page 5