“Hey, you gonna let Tyf hang with those guys?” I slyly pointed straight at them.
Max looked up. “Who? Michael and Erik?”
My forehead wrinkled as my brows lowered. “You know Erik?”
“Yeah, I met him the other night when I picked Michael up to go to Faith’s party. Why, what’s the problem?”
I shook my head. “No problem. The guy looks shady, that’s all.”
Max looked at me as though I was crazy. “Shady?” He looked at Erik, who was chatting it up with Faith. “So you don’t like him talking to Faith. Is that it?”
When I didn’t say anything, Max hopped off the stage and went over to our friends. I followed. Max sat next to Tyf, and I sat at the opposite end of Faith, who was next to Erik. I grabbed a glass, poured beer from the pitcher on the table, and slammed it back. As I refilled my glass, I heard Faith giggle. What the fuck.
Erik had that look in his eyes. He wanted to get in her fucking pants. How could she not recognize that look? She’d seen me use it on numerous occasions. Granted, not directed at her, but still.
I grabbed my phone to check the time. We had twenty minutes before we went on. I needed to be behind my set; the sudden urge to feel comfortable was overwhelming. The place was getting crowded, and there was a unique blend of people. I looked around, trying to ignore what was happening at my table.
Erik had his hand on the back of Faith’s chair. “Want to go out sometime?”
I didn’t know what possessed me to do it, but I grabbed my phone and sent the fastest text I could.
Me: say no
Faith looked at her phone, which was sitting on the table in front of her, and then at me. Like a dagger to my heart, she said, “I’d love to.”
I took a deep breath and finished my beer. Legs came over just as I set down the glass. I grabbed her waist and pulled her into my lap, making her squeal. She covered her mouth with her hand and swatted my chest.
“You scared me. Don’t do that.” She smiled and batted her eyes at me.
“Don’t do what? Don’t do this?” I pulled her in for a searing kiss. I closed my eyes and thought of Faith. She didn’t taste like Faith, but at the moment, I didn’t care. I held her head tight, and our tongues battled.
After I let her go, she wiped her lower lip with her thumb. “I need to announce you guys, and open mic is tonight, so I won’t have time to go in the back. Maybe we can get together after we close.” She winked and got off my lap.
Jake was the first to speak. “Damn, man, did you get a piece of Tori the other night?”
Hmm, her name’s Tori; that’s good to know. I grinned and poured another beer. No need to respond; they could think whatever they want. The speakers squealed, making the bar patrons laugh, and I looked up as Tori tapped the mic.
She snickered. “Sorry about that. This thing is touchy.” She looked at Max, and he nodded. “We have a real treat for you all tonight. Raging Urge is in the house.”
The bar goers clapped, and the women did the usual whistling and yelling.
Tori moved her hands up and down to try to quiet the place. “Shhh… I have more to say. Our wonderful local boys will be opening up for Blanco Diablo in North Carolina in a couple weeks! They’re going to be famous, I just know it.” The applause started again and kept going. Tori tapped the mic again, thankfully without making it squeal. “Boys, stand up and take a bow.”
We looked at each other and laughed before we stood and acknowledged the crowd.
“Aren’t they dreamy, ladies?” Tori said as she tossed her hair. “Tonight is also open mic night, so for those of you who want to get up here and sing your heart out, go see our awesome DJ Hemp, and tell him your name and song. Now, our very own Raging Urge.”
Tori stepped off the stage as we got on. She stopped me and said, “I want you.”
I looked at her and got behind my drums. My stick twirled, and my eyes landed on Faith. She was really special, and it killed me that I would never be with her.
Max stepped up to the mic. “Thanks, everyone. We want to start off with a new song tonight. This one’s called, ‘Lost.’” He strummed his guitar, and I tapped my cymbal.
He had just written this song. The words had irritated me at first because it sounded like my story, but when I asked, he assured me it wasn’t. He sang of past loss, fresh starts, and accepting what’s around you. He didn’t know my entire story, but he knew enough. It sounded just like my life, but if he said it wasn’t about me, then I believed him.
We played a Blanco Diablo song and a few more of our own until our first set was over. I set my sticks down and walked off the stage with the guys. We went to our table, and Tori took the stage.
She tapped the mic. “Our first singer tonight is Jenny McMullen.”
I saw an older woman stand and walk toward the stage.
Tori continued, “She’ll be singing ‘I Love Rock n’ Roll.’ Please welcome her.”
Everyone applauded. Jenny took the stage and sang to the track the DJ provided. Her voice was decent, but Joan Jett she was not. When she finished, Tori announced the next person. I looked over at Faith, who was whispering to Tyf. She looked at me with wide eyes, nodded, and Faith stood. I was ready to follow her to wherever she was going, but then I heard Tori.
“Our next singer is Faith Bishop.”
I was stunned. Faith wasn’t the type to perform in public, or maybe she was. I was starting to think there was more to her than I’d realized.
Tori said, “She’ll be singing ‘Cowboy Casanova.’”
I didn’t know the song, but apparently Tori did because she chuckled when she said the title. I looked at Tyf, who raised her brow and pointed at me. I watched Faith approach the mic with a glint in her eye and an expression between worried and confident. She still had an innocence about her that made her stunning.
She sang, and she looked at me through eighty percent of the song. I couldn’t believe it. It wasn’t a love song; it was a song about a girl telling other girls to stay away from a guy—me. I looked at my friends, and they were just staring at her. Her voice was smooth as if she’d been singing on stage for years. She had the women clapping in appreciation and men staring at her. Max looked at me with sympathy in his eyes. Basically, Faith was telling me I wasn’t a good guy, and she was warning other women about me; she was right.
I looked at my phone and realized we had about fifteen minutes before we went back on. Faith finished her song and walked back to the table as everyone in the place cheered for her. Max hugged her and told her she was awesome, as did everyone else. Erik pulled out her chair, and Tyf high-fived her. She sat down and looked at me with a smug, non-Faith look. I nodded slightly in acknowledgement and went outside for a smoke. I needed air, even if it was tainted.
Erik leaned over and whispered, “Your voice is amazing.”
I smiled, practically coming out of my skin. “I can’t believe I did that. I’ve never done anything like that before.”
I adjusted my chair and looked at the empty one Ryker had occupied. My heart hurt a little bit. Maybe my song choice was harsh, but it felt good. How dare he tell me not to go out with Erik when he was playing “find my tonsils” with Tori.
“Oh my God, Faith, that was awesome! Your voice is incredible! You should sing with the band,” Tyf said. She was apparently my biggest fan—well, next to Max.
I looked toward the door and noticed Ryker walking in. He was talking to the bouncer. His expression looked more distant than it normally did. I was starting to regret my song choice.
Tori was back on stage, telling the band they had five minutes. She thanked all of the open mic performers. Ryker came back to our table, turned his chair around, and sat in it. He rocked forward to grab his beer. I looked at him, but he was looking toward the stage. Well, I’d wanted to get my point across. Apparently I did. For some reason, I didn’t feel good about it anymore.
“Okay, guys, before we go on, I want to run something past you,”
Max said. “How about if we spend the weekend at my parents’ lake house? They’re going to my uncle’s place, so we’ll have it to ourselves. What do you think?”
“You know what I think.” Tyf smirked, making Max blush.
Tim and Jake were all for it, and they asked if they could bring someone. Max invited Erik and Michael to come too, and they were gung ho. I said that I would go, and then all eyes were on Ryker, who was back at our table. My heart raced as we waited for his answer.
“We’ll see. I’m not sure if I can make it.” Ryker sounded totally unenthusiastic.
Max stood. “Okay, let’s get our second set rolling.” He looked at Ryker. “You okay, man?”
Ryker swung his leg around the chair to stand. “Yeah, all good.” Rather than walking directly to the stage, he rounded the table and put his lips near my ear, making my nipples press against my bra. “You have a beautiful voice, Dude.” Then he walked away.
I felt shitty. No other word could describe it. I should have been happy at his compliment, but it made me feel dreadful. I had been mean to him, and that broke me.
While the band played, women flocked toward the stage. One girl put her hand on Tim’s leg and a few whistled at Max and Jake, but most were trying to get Ryker’s attention. A wave of jealousy washed over me. Ryker acted different, though. He didn’t acknowledge the doting women; he didn’t even glance in their direction. That was very un-Ryker-like. For the entire set, he banged away with pure intensity, almost robotically, and it was unnerving.
After they were done, my watch said it was close to one in the morning. I was exhausted. The guys packed up while some people waited to get their autographs, which was funny. Tyf jumped up to organize the guys and get the girls away from Max. I just sat at the table with Erik.
He leaned over. “Want to go together this weekend?”
Did I? I looked at the stage. Ryker was setting one of his drums in a case, and his arm muscles were forcing up his now-damp T-shirt sleeves. I inwardly sighed and looked at Erik. He was a great-looking guy, and I would be stupid to say no, but when it came to my heart, I wasn’t very smart.
“I think I’ll ride up with Max, but I’ll see you there. Right?”
He leaned in and gave me a soft kiss, which surprised me. My tongue darted out to lick my lips. His kiss was nice, but it didn’t make me feel the way I had with Ryker; that didn’t surprise me.
His sultry eyes bore into mine. “This weekend, I want to get to know you.” Erik’s voice was sexy as hell.
“Okay.” It came out like a squeak laced with indifference.
He stood, and I did the same. He called to Michael, who was walking out with Tim, Jake, and Ryker, and told them to wait up.
“Bye, Faith, I’ll see you soon.” Erik winked and hustled to catch up to the guys.
Apparently Ryker didn’t find it necessary to say good-bye to me. I was more surprised that he’d left without a date, though.
Max and Tyf came up to me.
“You ready?” Max asked.
A weak smile crossed my face. “I really need to start driving so you two can go off and do whatever.”
Max threw his right arm around Tyf and his other around me. “I wouldn’t hear of it. I have the two best women with me tonight: my best girl and my best friend. Doesn’t get any better than this.”
We walked out, and I saw Ryker leaning against his car, having a smoke and talking to Tori. I slowed my pace as I watched them. I felt the muscles in my cheeks tighten and tears threaten. Max unlocked the doors to his car, and we climbed in. I looked out the window as Ryker’s car drove away. Was he alone?
Tyf turned around and looked at me. “You okay?”
“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” I needed to change the subject. “Max, when are we leaving for the lake? Maybe I’ll drive myself.”
“We’re leaving on Friday, but you can ride with us.”
I mumbled, “Always the third wheel. I should have agreed to go with Erik.”
Tyf spun around again. If she kept doing that, the seat belt would cut her neck. “Erik asked you to go to the lake with him? He just met you.”
Max went into protector mode. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s happening.”
That was odd, because Max was cool about me hanging out with Ryker, and he was worse.
“Well, you can relax, because I said no. I should have said yes.” I looked out the window. I’d felt an odd sense of guilt when Erik asked me, which pissed me off and was all because of a text that Ryker sent. My song had been spot on. He was a Casanova; I just wanted him to be mine.
Saturday came fast, and I woke to a warm, sunny day. I opened my curtains and stared at the blue sky. I’d packed enough clothes for the weekend and then some. It was supposed to be a hot and humid weekend, and I couldn’t wait to soak in the rays.
After throwing on a pair of shorts and a tank top, I looked in the full-length mirror and sighed. My legs would never be like Tori’s; she easily had five inches on me. I let out a breath, grabbed my bag, and slipped on flip-flops. Time to start the weekend!
Max and Tyf were in the kitchen having coffee. My shoes smacked my heels as I made my way across the family room.
“Good morning.” I kissed Max on the cheek and hugged Tyf.
Max smiled. “Morning, sunshine. Would you like some coffee?”
“Do you not know me at all?” Max gave me a wink and a smile, and my coffee was in my hand.
Max said he was going to go get their bags, and he walked out of the kitchen. Tyf stayed seated at the kitchen table and motioned for me to take Max’s seat. I sat with one knee up, which was my comfy position.
“So Erik, huh?” Tyf looked over her mug at me.
I raised my right shoulder. “I don’t know. I mean, he’s cute and all, but…”
“He’s not Ryker,” Tyf finished my thought.
My head slowly shook. “No, he isn’t, but who is?”
She put her hand on mine. “Honey, you have to do what makes you happy.”
That comment made my eyes fill. “Yeah, but how do I know what that is if he doesn’t give me a chance? When he kissed me, it was incredible.”
Tyf nodded. “I knew that was more than just a friendly hug the other night.”
“Yeah, it was. I thought I felt something. You hear how people feel butterflies and see fireworks, but it wasn’t like that. It was like a warmth ran through me. I can’t explain it, but it was comfortable; it just felt right. Do you know what I mean?”
She nodded. “It’s like that when I kiss Max. Sometimes when you know, you know, and it sounds like you know, you know?”
I smiled. “Yeah, I know.”
Max must have been listening, because when he walked in, he said, “I don’t know what the hell you two are talking about, but I do know that we need to leave. You ready?”
I exchanged a smile with Tyf. “Yeah, let me go grab my bag. I’ll lock up and meet you by the car.”
Going to the Morrisons’ lake house made me happy, but at the same time, anxiety set in. The day was clear and sunny. Purple and pink lilacs adorned the streets, making me feel as if everything would be okay. The colorful blooms brought me a sense of serenity and happiness. Going to the yearly lilac festival as a kid had been fun, especially when I was with Max. Those thoughts were distracting me, which was a good thing. I had a habit of running through scenarios in my head of how I imagined things going, but I tried not to do that. Things never turned out exactly the way I hoped, so it just left me disappointed.
Max lowered the radio. “So we should be the first ones there. I got a text from Tim, and he was leaving about an hour after us with Jake, Michael, and Erik. I haven’t heard from Ryker, so I don’t know when he’s showing up.”
“He’s probably busy.” My sarcastic comment had a sad undertone. I heard it and inwardly chastised myself.
Max must have caught it too. “Faith, I’ve told you over and over that he’s just that way. He doesn’t do commitment or
love.” He picked up Tyf’s hand and kissed it. “What are you going to do if he brings someone with him?”
My eyes filled with tears. I’d never thought of that. “You told him to bring someone?”
Tyf’s head snapped toward Max. “Hon, why would you do that?”
“I didn’t tell him specifically to bring someone or not to. But you know him. He does what he wants. If he could have a woman under him at all times, he would.” Max was very nonchalant, which grated on my nerves.
I closed my eyes, rested my head against the seat back, and tried not to think about what Ryker had done last night. The scenarios started: Ryker walking up to the door with women on his arm—yes, women because why should my nightmare stop at one woman? All of them going to his room and not coming out for hours. My eyes started to pulse, meaning tears were ready to fall, and I needed to keep it together.
The car slowed, and Max turned into a long driveway. I looked at their large home. It was beautiful. Mr. Morrison had done well for himself, and his lake house was more of a mansion. I loved it. It was light gray with a wraparound porch that extended to a beautiful deck on the back. Mrs. Morrison had had it professionally decorated, and there was even a small guest house so we could change our clothes without trekking water and sand through the main house. We got out of the car and followed Max inside.
He grabbed Tyf and kissed her. Then he looked back at me. “Take whichever room you want. We’ll be back.”
They raced up the stairs. To say that I was happy for them would be an understatement. To say I wasn’t jealous would be a lie.
I slowly made my way up the stairs and went to the room I had used before. The view of the lake was beautiful, and the small veranda was calling my name. To sit in peace, listen to the water, and read would be perfect. I placed my bag on the plush chair next to the bed and made my way outside.
Resting on the railing, I took a deep breath. I loved it there. I sat on the chaise in the corner and laid back. My brain was on overload thinking about Ryker showing up with someone, and I needed to calm myself. I closed my eyes. Rather than reading, I savored the feeling of the sun soaking into my skin. The warmth was calming and lulling me to sleep.
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