“Did something happen?” he asked in a gentle voice, resting his hands on her shoulders.
“Yes. No. Oh, damn.” Her head fell to the side, longing to melt into him.
“Cassie. Look at me.”
She took a deep breath, inhaling tangy soap and musk cologne. When she lifted her gaze, pools of cobalt gleamed at her. She wanted to lose herself in their brilliance. Maybe he didn’t offer his love, but something fierce shone in their amazing depths. Caring, compassion, and desire … God, how she needed this man.
“Mike. Make love to me.” The towel forgotten, she slowly raised her arms.
When Cassie dropped her towel, lust slammed Mike’s gut and his dick hardened to steel. His heart cracked at the anguish he’d seen just before she’d fallen into his arms.
“Cassie,” he whispered, his voice like sandpaper.
“Kiss me,” she whispered.
He groaned and dragged her against his chest. Something crucial had happened; he’d find out what later. Right now, this was what she needed. He understood the signs. Something drove her. She needed to lose herself and she’d chosen him. God help him, he hungered for her. He was more than willing to give her whatever she needed.
He’d give her this moment.
He’d give her oblivion.
She kissed him with urgency, as if her life depended on it. Her naked body tempted him beyond all reason. Sinking his hands into her hair, he slid his tongue inside her open mouth, licking every crevice he could find. Her body melted into his and he moaned her name.
Impatient lust surged with raw need. He cradled her in his arms, reassuring her with his body. “Cassie, I’m here. I’ve got you.”
He nibbled at the corner of her mouth, then licked the spot where he’d nipped. She dug her fingers into his shoulders and captured his lips again. His heart thudded as she opened her mouth eagerly, desperately. He groaned low in his throat, a deep hum of pleasure as hot desire ripped through him.
Moving slowly, he slid both hands down the sides of her body, kneading every inch. She jerked at his shirt, pulling it from the band of his jeans and slid her hands underneath, her hot, urgent fingers driving him crazy with need. She made him so hard so fast, he wanted to take her the same way—hard and fast. Her movements frantic, there was no slowing down, no foreplay. This woman was fired up. He’d be insane to deny her.
He cupped each breast, testing their weight, stroking his thumbs over her nipples until both stood proud and erect. Lowering his head to one breast, he kissed lavishly while rolling the bud of the other between his thumb and forefinger. She grabbed his hair and squirmed until all he felt was her desire. With a groan, he tore his lips from her flesh, his breathing ragged.
“Tell me what you want. Anything, and I’ll do it.”
“I want you. I need you. Now.”
She found his zipper and then slid her hand inside. Hunger tore at him.
“You’re magnificent. And silken,” she whispered.
Christ, she fisted him in her hand. He threw his head back and relished the feel of her gripping him, stroking him up and down.
He bit her earlobe as he glided one hand over her smooth skin to the valley between her legs. He raked his teeth over her shoulder as his fingers drifted lower, finding her sensitive nub, slick with desire. He inserted a finger and heard her gasp, then her hips were lifting toward him. He stroked and rocked while the fingers of his other hand massaged her belly, inciting her arousal to fever pitch.
“I need you, Mike.” She shoved at his pants, pushing them down his hips.
His cock strained and his pulse pounded. He fought to maintain control, but she was having none of that. When she positioned his tip at her entrance, he couldn’t hold back. He lifted her and she locked her legs around his waist. Watching her face, he staggered forward, pressing her back against the wall and entered her with a long, hard thrust.
She moaned and clutched and arched into him. Swelling heat took over his aroused body and consumed his mind. He kissed her hot and hard. He meant to excite her, scorch her. Burn the image of him into her brain, and banish whatever unpleasant thoughts or events that had upset her.
Her grip tightened, her nails raked his back. He plunged again, filling her, burying himself to his balls. Her whimpering cries filled his ears, making him growl and thrust again, each lunge more powerful than the last. A black hole swallowed him, where the only thing he felt was need. Pure and raw.
“Harder. Faster,” Cassie panted out between breaths, sending him into a mindless trance. He slammed into her roughly, sinking as deep as he could possibly go.
“Yes, Oh God, yes.” She cried out as her muscles spasmed.
He could hold back no longer. He roared out her name and spilled himself into her, ecstasy ripping through his blood.
For a long time, he stood there, his legs trembling where his muscles clenched, waiting for his breathing to return to normal. Completely spent, he cupped the back of her head, his eyes holding hers. Emotion swarmed in her turquoise depths, engulfing his already raw nerves in overwhelming sensation. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, for fear of the spell being broken. Cassie was right where he wanted her—in his arms.
“Stay with me,” she whispered. “Don’t leave me.”
Never.
Her words stabbed his gut. Melted his bones and seized every cell in his body. He drew her up to meet his lips and kissed her with all the tenderness erupting inside him.
He’d never felt such strong sentiment before. His innards twisted in knots and a sting smarted in his belly so fierce, he ached. Slowly, reality intruded as their position slowly crept to awareness.
And the fact that he’d taken her without protection. He’d never been so careless. He dropped his forehead against hers.
“Cassie. I, I didn’t use a condom.”
“I’m on the pill. I haven’t been with anyone in two years.”
Two years?
“Believe it or not, I haven’t been with anyone in a while. And I always use protection.” So, they should be safe.
With tender care, he lowered her and removed the rest of his clothing. Then he swept her up into his arms, loving the feel of her cradled against his chest, wondering how he might keep her forever. Her arms secure around his neck, she skirted kisses over his collarbone.
After padding to the bedroom, he stepped to the bed and gently placed her on the edge, where she quickly scooted up and pulled down the covers. She crawled in and patted the space beside her. With a satisfied grin, he released a pleasured sigh and slipped under the comforter with her. Curling up with Cassie in his arms was the closest thing to heaven he could imagine. They lay entwined as the evening’s light disappeared into shadows.
Sweet pleasure swirled through Mike’s chest at having Cassie snuggled up against him. Mike was afraid to close his eyes for fear the one good thing in his life would disappear. Cassie’s breath felt warm on his shoulder. Her even breathing created a sense of contentment. The slow rise and fall of her chest told him she was asleep.
What had possessed her to behave like a wild creature? He wasn’t complaining, although he couldn’t help but worry. All the signs were there.
Desperation. Agony. Distress.
The concept of something, or someone, doing anything to hurt Cassie … he couldn’t wrap his mind around what might have happened to make her react in such a way. The idea of her being hurt brought out the beast in him. He wanted to crush anyone who dared to harm her.
He did not want to delve into the reasons why.
The back of his mind niggled him. What if?
Was it too farfetched for him to want a life with Cassie?
What they had shared was deeper than anything he’d experience before. It could be the beginning of something real.
But it was doomed before it began. Even if he faced the truth that his attraction was more than physical, he knew in his heart to hope for a relationship would be wrong. He wasn’t a fool. He knew she would le
ave him. He had no reason to think otherwise and every reason to believe his time with her would end.
Cassie was beautiful, smart and had a big heart. She loved children. But what woman would take a risk on him? He could never put her through the worry and torment. He never wanted to see the look on her face that he’d seen on his mother’s. And he sure as hell never wanted to go through the pain he’d experienced with his mother’s desertion.
If he took a chance and lost Cassie, it would be much worse.
Someone would surely get hurt in the end.
He feared it just might be him.
Chapter 20
Mike lay panting, Cassie’s heart pounding crazily against his. She’d kill him if they kept this pace. She still hadn’t told him what had happened to make her call, but he wasn’t going anywhere until she did.
“Coffee or shower?” If she chose shower, they’d be at it again—which would suit him just fine.
“Definitely coffee. I suppose I owe you an explanation.”
Seeing her vulnerability made his heart sting. “You don’t owe me anything. But I’d like to know what happened. You were damn near frantic.”
She chewed on her bottom lip.
“Why don’t I make coffee?” he said, taking pity on her. “Then we can talk.”
Relief flashed in her eyes, he gave her a kiss on her forehead.
He threw the covers back and looked for his pants. Realizing they were in the living room, he stood, uncaring of his nudity, and strode down the hall.
Until she told him what bothered her, he was at a loss. Last night had alarmed him. He’d thought she’d been hurt. When she’d said I need you, everything had gone out of his head but the desire to rush to her side.
Now that it was morning, would she change her mind? What if she no longer needed him? What if she’d just wanted to use him for sex, to get over her distress? Her hesitation this morning made him nervous. She couldn’t just push him away—use him and then send him out the door without an explanation. He wouldn’t allow it.
Besides, the anguish he’d seen on her face last night had nearly brought him to his knees. He wanted to crush the person who’d put it there.
He stepped into his jeans and pulled on his shirt, leaving it hanging open, then started the coffee. He stood staring at the dripping brew, listening to the hissing sound. He poured two cups of coffee and added milk to hers when the hair tingled on the back of his neck. Cassie had slipped into the kitchen. He turned and handed a mug to her.
“Thank you.”
She wore a T-shirt that fell to her knees and had her hair tucked behind one ear. The urge to press his lips to her neck surged in his gut. But he and Cassie needed to talk.
“Feeling better?” he asked after she’d taken a sip.
“You always make me feel better, Mike.” She turned and padded to the living room. She took a seat on the sofa and he sat beside her.
“Cassie, whatever it is, just say it.”
Her gaze jerked to his. “It’s nothing bad. I mean, it’s nothing to do with you and me.”
He released the breath that had been squeezing his lungs and lifted her hand, lacing his fingers with hers. The connection solid, grounding him. Linking her to him.
“You can tell me anything.”
She fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. He had little patience when kept in the dark. The only way to take charge of a situation was head on. If she would just tell him, he could deal with it. Now he really started to worry.
“Would it be better if I held you?”
Again, her head jerked to him, her eyes filled with indecision.
“Come here.” He pulled her into his arms, pressing her head to his shoulder. She slid her hand under the flap of his shirt and rested it lightly on the center of his chest. He began to relax as her fingers played with his wisps of hair.
Contented to stay just like this, he massaged her back. Having Cassie in his arms brought peace and a feeling of belonging. He’d never allowed a woman to get close, but Cassie had already gotten under his skin. She made him hope for what he knew he couldn’t have. She fit perfectly into his life—until he remembered she would leave.
Yet he had allowed her in. Allowed her to be important. This woman could break his heart.
Lost in his thoughts, he scarcely realized she’d spoken.
“Hmmm?”
“My sister.”
“Is something wrong with your sister?” His hands stilled.
Cassie gave a little sound very much like a snort. “You could say that.”
“You want to tell me what happened?” He rested his chin on the top of her head.
“You know my mom had surgery.”
“Was that yesterday?” He’d been so focused with her distress on the phone last night, he’d completely forgotten.
“Yes. My sister, two of my cousins, Mom’s preacher and her best friend were there.”
“She get along all right?” If something had gone wrong, surely she’d have told him before now.
“Mom did fine. When she came back from recovery, everyone left but me and my sister.”
When Cassie paused, he rubbed her back, offering comfort, letting her know she was safe in his arms.
“My sister attacked me.”
He forced himself not to flinch. Cassie spoke as though it was a normal occurrence. No change in her voice, no agitation in her body. Attacked as in how? He hadn’t seen any evidence of a fight.
“She said some horrible things. With Mom lying in a hospital bed not three feet away. Mom could have heard us. I was so mad I said some pretty mean things too.”
He hugged her tighter. “I can’t imagine you saying anything mean. I bet this will blow over after you both have had time to think about things. Your mom just had surgery. I’m sure your nerves, and your sister’s, played a factor in the argument.”
Sitting back, Cassie pushed against his side, bringing her eyes level with his. “I don’t think so. The things we said … this has been building up for some time. What made me so mad, she picked the day of Mom’s surgery of all days to pick a fight?”
“She must have some insecurities.”
“I’m the one with the insecurities. She’s a barrel of attitude.”
Cassie? Insecurities?
“Maybe she has a problem you don’t know about.”
“She’s got problems, all right.” Cassie settled back against him, her unique scent invading his senses. He closed his eyes and basked in her essence.
After a few moments, he noticed she still seemed anxious. “Is there something else?”
“Yes.”
He waited.
When she buried her face in his shoulder, he tightened his embrace. “Honey. It’s okay. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.” He meant it. He wanted her and, God help him, he wanted to keep her.
“We were arguing about Mom and … money and stuff, and she … Out of the blue, she brought up our dad. He died seven years ago.”
Mike slid his arms around her waist and lifted her onto his lap. Long strands of hair hung in her face. He shoved them out of the way.
“She went on to gloat and tell me that Dad called her the night before he died. He said I was drunk and came to his hospital room and upset him.”
If he had her sister here, he’d ring her spiteful neck.
Cassie swiped the tears on her cheek. Mike pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to her.
“I remember that night. I went with some of the teachers to dinner. I had one glass of wine.”
“Your sister made that up. For whatever small-minded reason, she wanted to hurt you.”
Cassie burrowed into him. God, he wished he could take away her pain. Undo the confrontation. She unburdened her soul, ripping his guts right along with hers. “I loved my father. We didn’t agree on everything, but I respected him. I joked with him, no one else did. My sister is picking at anything she can to upset me.”
Her lips quiver
ed into his neck as she spoke. The woman had no idea what her fingers toying with his chest hair did to him. Yes, he desired her, but he cherished her. Cassie owned his heart. He was damn thankful he was the one holding her. Thankful he was the one comforting her.
“Keep your good memories of him, Cassie. Put what your sister said out of your mind.” Mike could only assume Cassie and her sister were strung out over their mom’s surgery. Stress made people behave irrationally. He’d seen it firsthand after responding to many 911 calls.
If it wasn’t worry or release of built up tension, then her sister was one real piece of work. He couldn’t imagine anyone attacking Cassie. She was the most sensible woman he’d ever met. A lot of fun, too.
He never had a sibling. Still, it didn’t seem right to fight in your mother’s hospital room. Sounded like Cassie’s sister had some real issues.
“Thank you,” she said cuddling deeper into his chest. “Thank you for being here. Thank you for coming when I called.”
Holding her tight, he tried showing her without words how he felt. Her clinging was sending some serious signals prompting urges of desire. Triggering the impulse to turn her on his lap and drive himself into her heat. Like he had last night.
But for now, he’d hold her.
“Anytime.”
Every time.
All the time.
It amazed him how much he meant those words—with a passion bordering insanity. Fierce possessiveness, violent protectiveness, savage yearning—feelings beyond any he’d imagined.
He was in way over his head.
***
Mike figured he spent so much time thinking about Cassie he might as well be with her. And he wanted to do something nice. She deserved nice after the scene with her sister. He’d asked Cassie on another date and she’d accepted.
He’d been doing a lot of thinking about what he wanted lately. What did he want?
A woman who’d accept him. Accept his job. Accept the fact that he would never quit. Fighting fires was in his blood. Whether the adrenaline rush or the need to protect and save, when the siren went off, his instincts kicked in. His training took over and he did what needed to be done. Second thoughts could get a man killed. When Mike charged into a burning building, the only thing on his mind was search and protect.
MIKE The Firefighters of Station 8 Page 19