by Tara Brent
I’m like a lovesick teenager. Tiffany haunts my every thought and I have no idea why. That’s it, I have to see her. I’m going to confront her and if she rejects me, I’ll put her behind and move on. Maybe... hopefully...
This is a novel situation for me. Never before have I pursued a woman in this way. I know I’m making a fool of myself but I need to speak to her, I need to know what’s wrong. I'm fighting a daily battle to stop myself from going to her place of work again, but I know that it would be wrong. Despite my constant texting and pleading with her to answer me, so far I've received no response. Okay so she’s not answering but she hasn’t told me to stop either.
I’m trying to figure out in my head why I am doing this, potentially making a fool of myself? At first, I put it down to the challenge, but I’m only fooling myself. This woman has started a fire inside my soul. A fire that no one else has ever been able to kindle. I’ve had a busy morning; signing off a lucrative deal with a famous branded software company, and what do I do as soon as I finish...I text Tiffany. If she didn’t think I was mad before, she will now. I have to stop.
It was my intention to leave San Francisco as soon as the deal was finalized, and that idea appeals to me even more now. I need to get away, fill my mind with things other than Tiffany, but I know that’s not going to happen. This America-Scottish redhead has turned my world upside down. The strangest thing is, before she came back into my life, I was empty. Despite all my wealth and being surrounded by beautiful things, and stunning women, for some reason, I am not happy. I have no idea what was wrong.
Now though, there’s a strange excitement in life that I haven’t felt for years. I’m alive again, something I’ve not felt since the multi-million dollar sale of our first business. The cause of this newfound enthusiasm can only be Tiffany. That night, in the hotel room, despite the years since we separated, felt like we’d never been apart. We just kind of picked up where we left off, and for me at least, it seemed the most natural thing in the world.
Chapter 8
Ginger Giant
At the end of my shift the other day, I was carrying a beautiful bouquet of flowers that were delivered to my place of work. I didn’t need to read the note with them to know who they were from. Mom was shocked when I told her they were unwelcome. She thinks I’m crazy for not going out with a guy who wastes so much money on me. The trouble is, I haven’t built up the courage to tell her exactly who it is that’s sending me the flowers. She knows it’s my blind date, but not that my blind date was my son’s father. I should tell her but my head's in a mess over this whole thing.
It's at times like this when I miss my dad the most. He wouldn’t put any pressure on me but he would know what to do. If mom finds out, she’ll make me feel guilty over not inviting Callum’s father into his life. I miss my pa, he was my rock at all times. I get my Scottish genes from him and my red hair which he always called “ginger.” Even when he was old, he didn’t lose his hair and grew a big beard. That’s how Callum remembers him; the big man with a bushy ginger beard.
Callum actually takes after his father, he has jet black hair. Poor baby, he’s a mixture of Scottish, Italian and American. His Italian genes shine through the most. That's why I know that if Calvin ever sees him, he’ll know straight away that he’s his son
Work has been such a blessing lately as I can switch off when I’m there. It’s good to be doing a job I enjoy, otherwise, my life would be a misery right now. I’ll be glad to get back in a few days, but for now I’m spending some time with Callum. Not that I’m inclined to be miserable. Again, I have my pa to thank for that. He was always a jolly man and I’ve inherited his jolly genes. Whilst this whole thing has rocked my boat a little, I won’t allow it to take over my emotions. Callum is still my son, I have a wonderful mother, a fantastic best friend and a great job. That’s enough to keep my sanity intact.
So, I booked some time off work to be with my son and rid myself of the guilt trip from not telling him and mom the truth. Yesterday, we went to the zoo with Ali. Today, mom and I are going to take him to a play den. Callum can run around a huge adventure playground and wear himself out. Though I do have other motives too. This was the perfect opportunity to tell mum about Calvin, which I did before our food arrived at the table.
She says nothing about it as we eat our meal. As soon as Callum finishes, he's off like a rocket to return to his play. He’s made some new buddies and was reluctant to leave them when I shouted him back to the table to eat. I can sense her waiting to burst out with her opinion on the sensitive matter that I confessed to her.
“I’m not going to lecture you, Tiffany,” she says in a calm voice. “Your father would tell me to mind my own business and that’s what I’ll do. You’re old enough to know what you’re doing. I’m assuming Alison knows and she’s supporting you through this. What I do want to add is that you loved your father, and Callum deserves to have that experience too.”
Her words hit me with a bang! How is it mothers always know the right things to say? She's right, of course, but she doesn’t understand the legalities of how this might play out.
Callum waves at us from a distance. He’s climbed a tower and he’s looking down with a huge grin on his face. Then he runs off with his new buddies. My heart aches at not giving him a daddy. What right have I to keep Calvin away from him?
“I’ll be back in a moment, mom,” I say to her as I leave the table.
Moving well away from where I know she can’t see me, I hit the button on my cell phone for Ali. As soon as she picks up, I burst into tears explaining to her what mom said to me. They say it’s good to cry and I have to admit, I always feel better when I do.
“Have you calmed down yet?” I hear Ali’s voice on the other end of my phone when I finally shut up.
“I suppose I have,” I say, rubbing my face dry with my long sleeve and hoping no one notices. “Those were the worse words she could have used, Ali. The thing is she’s right. My pa was so special to me and I’m denying Callum his daddy.”
“Enjoy the rest of your day with mom and Callum, and I’ll come round after work. Right now, I’m underneath a car, Tiffy, fixing a crappy exhaust tailpipe. So, it’s kinda hard to talk. I will see you when you get home.”
“I love you, Ali,” I tell her. “Pa would be proud of how you hold me up.”
“Angus would shake your booty and tell you to man up!” She yells and cuts me off.
She always called pa by his name, because she has her own father. Though I know she’s right. Pa would insist that I get my head around what I want to do and get on with a decision one way or the other. He never minced his words but nor did he interfere with my choices.
When it's time to return home, Callum is totally exhausted and ready for his bed. Mom drives us home and I sit in the back with him. The peace and quiet gives me a moment to reflect on whether to change mine and Callum's lives around, completely.
Out of Reach
“This is most likely illegal,” Mia tells me as she hands over a piece of paper. “I'm not happy breaching someone's privacy and I would do it for no one other than you. I had to lie to that poor nurse to get it.”
“I know Mia, and I appreciate it.” I am genuinely grateful for Mia's help. “Thanks for getting her address for me, I owe you big time.”
“You sure do,” Mia is quick to come back and no doubt will rub my nose in this favor for a long time to come. “I don't like telling lies.”
“I hope you didn't bully her?” I ask, curious at the thought of Mia not having the upper hand. She’s a typical famous chef, moody and bossy. It’s unlikely she would have enjoyed having to ask anyone for a favor. Most of the time she simply demands things, she doesn't ask.
“Don’t worry, I didn’t bully the poor little nurse. I said something had dropped out of the bag she left behind and I wanted to return it. It seems Tiffany had turned up to work in a bit of a tizzy on one of her shifts. She told her close friends that some guy had approach
ed her outside of work to return a bag she left on a blind date. Which, of course, was you. As it happened it worked in your favor because her friend knew about the bag incident, so she believed me."
“That’s exactly my case,” I say in my defense. “She told them I was 'some guy.' She didn't tell them I am ‘the guy she met years ago.’ It’s as if she’s keeping our past a secret, not even telling her close friends.”
“Hmm, I see your point,” Mia agrees, which is a miracle in itself. “I liked Tiffany, that’s why I chose her for our blind date challenge. Though I never expected to see you so lovesick.”
“You think that’s what’s wrong with me?” I ask in confusion.
“Oh yeah!” Mia declares. “I’ve never seen you chase a woman, ever. So what gives with this one?”
“I don’t know,” I tell her. “But I’m going to speak to her and see if she feels the same way, or if I’m wasting my time. Then I can move on.”
That's exactly why I’m sat in my car outside the darkened home of Tiffany Miller. Now I am a crazy stalker, but I have to speak to her. Something’s not right between us and I can’t work it out. This is so not me. That’s why I must end this one way or another, and get on with my life. I’ve always been in control of my life and emotions. I’m a successful businessman, with more money than I can spend. I have a great social life. I love women and most of the time they love me back too. Yet it doesn't feel like it's enough. Somethings missing and I think Tiffany can fill that empty gap in my life.
I’m in a state of confusion and uncertainty. One minute it seems like a stupid idea waiting for her, and I’m ready to drive away. The next, I know I have to speak to her. My decision is made up for me when I see her car pulling up the driveway to her home. An elderly woman gets out of the driver’s seat and opens up the back door for someone. And, there she is. Tiffany climbs out, but she’s holding something. In the dark, it takes me a few seconds to realize what it is. When I do, I take a sharp intake of breath. It’s a young child! Is it hers?
As if I have no control over my actions, I open my car door and step out. She spots me immediately and the shock on her face is plain to see. It's soon replaced with a different emotion, that of anger. She passes the child to the elderly woman, who briefly looks over at me. Is that sympathy I see in her eyes? She enters the house with the sleeping child. Once they’re out of sight Tiffany strides purposely towards me. The anger is even more apparent now that she’s closer. I start to speak to explain myself but she holds up her hand, cutting me off.
“You have no right to do this to me,” she says in a quivering voice. “This is my home, my family. I’m married, Calvin. Get that into your thick skull and fuck off.”
With those cruel words, she turns and marches into the house, banging the front door behind her. She’s married! That’s what the problem was all along. Now I understand. Now, I’ll stay away. I’m glad I only sent the flowers to her workplace, the last thing I want to do is hurt her. Shit, she’s married! She’s out of my reach! Fuck!
Chapter 9
Online Dating
“You told him what?” Ali screeches at me as we make hot chocolate in the kitchen.
“I had to come up with something, and quick. I didn’t want Callum to see him,” I reply, in my defense.
“Oh girl, you might have ruined it now. How could you tell him you’re married? That’s the biggest fattest lie I ever did hear!”
“What did you expect I’d do?” I say, wagging my teaspoon at her. “Welcome him into my home?”
“Don’t you wag that thing at me,” Ali says and we both burst into laughter. “I was hoping this might go a bit slower and you’d give in and meet him again, but you just blew it all, girl.”
“I don’t know what to do, Ali,” I admit. “It seems he likes me a lot. That's the impression I get by how he’s pursuing me. If we were to date and end up falling out, he might try and take Callum away from me.”
“I don’t believe that would happen, from what you’ve told me of him, he seems a decent guy,” Ali reminds me. “Besides, at this rate you’re never gonna get a guy, any guy.”
“That’s not true, Ali. It's only the father of my child I can't have. I’ll still go out with guys who don’t expect to take my son away from me.”
“I don’t believe you,” Ali says, most indignantly. “In fact, I’m going to put you to the test. Let’s go up to your room, right now. I have a great dating site. We're gonna get you a date, girl. It’s time to have some fun, Tiffy.”
I follow Ali upstairs with a little trepidation. She's right though, I am reluctant to date guys. Jumping onto my bed, Ali brings up a dating website.
“Right, I’m gonna register you first and see if there’s any matches,” Ali starts frantically typing on the laptop.
“Don’t you go committing me without my say so,” I warn her as I watch on.
Despite my concerns over the whole online dating thing, I’m beginning to think it might be for the best. I have to put this episode with Calvin behind me. I can’t help but feel a little sorry for him though. The look on his face when I told him I was married was of someone most crestfallen. I’m certain I’ve scared him off with my faux husband. A part of me feels very disappointed. In reality, if the circumstances were right, I would love nothing more than be with Calvin. I know him though, he’ll soon tire of me and then where will it leave me and Callum? I’m not risking it. Calvin will crawl back to his own life and put away any thoughts of him and me dating ever again.
Ali pulls up some images of potential dates. We spend the next hour pulling them apart and in the end, we do nothing but laugh. It’s unlikely I’ll go on any of these online dates, but it’s a giggle while we go through them. To be honest, I soon become tired of it and leave Ali drooling at all the guys on her own. I’m soon fast asleep and feeling so much better with my best friend by my side.
Family First
“Yeah, I’m on my way now, I’ve booked the jet on standby, so no worries,” I tell my brother, Nico, over the phone.
We end our conversation and I finish packing. I was wanting to leave San Francisco anyway. Now, I’m called to Texas on a family emergency. My family always come first, so I’m leaving Tiffany Miller behind me. My father's been taken ill and he’ already diagnosed with angina. Luckily, we can afford the best medical care so I’m hoping all will be well. After finding out that Tiffany's married, and it looks like she has a kid, I realize there’s no way we can be together now. Quite frankly, I’m gutted over it. We could be a couple now if I hadn’t left her all those years ago. I’m annoyed at myself that I never realized how much she meant to me. I’ve been pining for her deep down for all these years, and I never knew it.
I climb in the car while my driver loads my luggage in the trunk. A sudden thought hits, thanks to Mia. Should I have put my own luggage in the back? She’s made me conscious of allowing others to do my bidding. Being the youngest in the family I sort of got used to having everything done for me as a kid. Once we became wealthy, it seemed the most natural thing in the world for me. Now, I’m realizing how much I rely on other people. Mia’s right, I’ve got to grow up. It’s time I took on more responsibility for myself.
Sure I’m responsible for global business deals, but it’s not quite the same, is it? When I’m away on business, I even have someone put out my clothes and sort out my meals. Come to think of it, what do I do for myself?
My mind ponders on this question, and then flips to Tiffany, all throughout my journey to Texas. It takes about three hours to get to KJ private airport, in Uvalde County. I’m going in at a private airport not far from “Recinto Del Bestiame,” my brother’s largest ranch. It’s about 300 acres so it’s one of the biggest in Texas, but he has a couple of smaller ones too. I have no idea why Nico chose to become a cowboy but that he did, and he’s a successful one too.
He’ll be at the airport to meet me in some dusty pickup truck no doubt. I suppose I’m lucky he doesn’t come by horse as tha
t’s his usual mode of transport. That’s why I’m donning jeans and a t-shirt today. I'm in the middle of nowhere whenever I visit Texas, but he’s happy here, so who am I to judge. Personally, I prefer my big cities, the bigger the better.
As I disembark, Nico is there at the bottom of the airplane steps. His hair is long and he looks the part of a native Indian, even though it’s his Italian genes. He’s a big guy but then again, he lives a tough life. We’re all tall, the Luca brothers, but Nico doesn’t need to work out, his lifestyle muscles him up.
“Benvenuto a mio fratello!” He greets me in our mother tongue, giving me a bear hug. “I was hoping Ethan would be with you,” he says as we separate our brotherly embrace.
“He’s not only our brother, Nico, but he’s also a family man now and he has much to pack in his suitcases." I smile remembering how Mia was running around packing up for what seemed like a family of ten. “I left them to it so I could get here quicker. How’s papa doing?”
“Ah, you know what he’s like, he thinks he will live forever and won’t accept how serious this is. Come on, let’s get driving. Your luggage can follow. Mia madre is keen to see you.”