by Tara Brent
“I miss mamma’s cooking, does she still do it?” I ask, realizing how hungry I am.
“No, she bosses the cooks about in the kitchens though," he tells me. '"Luckily, they’re good friends.”
There are many well-laid decent roads in Texas, but the one we're traveling down right now is not one of them. We bump and jolt all the way to the huge gates of his ranch. Above the gates is an enormous wooden sign with the words, “Recinto Del Bestiame,” carved on it. Translated it means “Cattle Ranch” in Italian. He wanted to put his Italian mark on his property, much to the puzzlement of his neighbors. That’s typical behavior of my family, we all do our own thing regardless of what others think about us. For me, it doesn’t always work out and that's how I lost Tiffany in the first place. See! I can’t stop thinking about that darn redhead.
When we arrive at the magnificent ranch house, I'm warmly greeted by my mother. I'm relieved to finally be with her and I can see her worry in her tired eyes. She takes me straight to papa’s bedside. I’m taken aback at how he looks. Even though I knew he was ill, I never expected how weak he would appear. He was always a strong man as I remember, but now he looks a shadow of his former self. There are wires on his chest and they go off into machines by his bedside. Drips and beeping noises surround him. His skin is a pale grey and he’s lost a lot of his thick dark hair. I can’t believe he’s gone downhill so quickly. He looks so fragile laying in his sickbed.
Taking hold of his trembling hands, I have an overwhelming urge to burst into tears. Of course, I hold it back, but I love my family and my papa was my rock. Now, I must be his.
“Calvin, my son, you came,” he says with a croaky voice as he attempts to smile. His hand grasps onto mine, but he has no strength.
My father is dying, and I finally stop thinking about Tiffany.
Chapter 10
Gladiator
“It’s a happening girl, so you’d better believe it,” Ali’s voice echoes out of my cell phone.
“You can’t do this to me, Ali. I thought we were messing around?” I say back to her, a little loud and drawing the attention of a work colleague who frowns at me.
“Keep your voice down, Tiffany,” my work colleague hisses.
I give her the thumbs up and make my way towards the staff room to finish my call.
“Ali, I did not say I would do this,” I tell her in no uncertain terms. “I can’t mess around like this. I'm a mother for goodness sake.”
“Aww, come on, Tiffy, you know you’re making up excuses.” I can hear clattering noises in the background as she talks. She’s clearly at work too, fixing up some car. You’d never believe it to look at her, but Ali is a first-rate mechanic. It was Ali who restored Dora for me and now I’m inseparable from my bright yellow car.
“Anyway, I can’t go back on it now. The two guys are marines and they're traveling back from tour. They aren’t reachable until the weekend, and that’s when we meet them.”
“You chose someone in the forces?” I ask, my ears perking up with interest. How can a girl not like a man in uniform! “Okay, but I’m not making any commitments. You’d better show me pictures of them tonight. I’m only doing this if they’re handsome and fit. Honestly, Ali, you do lead me astray.”
“Look, there’s no commitment on either part. We’re all only in it for the sex,” she says and then hangs up on me, not giving me a chance to reply.
I am intrigued though. A fling with a big marine is appealing. I’ll find out more tonight. The little minx never told me she’d set us up for a foursome date. A girl can’t let a soldier down on his short time of leave, can she?
When I get home I'm in a really good mood for the first time in a while, or at least since my encounter with Calvin. I’m in such a good mood I dance around the kitchen to some music playing on my cell phone.
“Who’s put a rocket up your...” mom cuts her words short as Callum comes running in to see me.
“Mommy’s happy, can I dance too?”
I pick him and swing him around in my arms.
“Mommy’s always happy when she’s with her favorite little boy in the whole wide world,” I tell him.
“Is the world big?” He asks.
“I tell you what, Callum. The universe is even bigger, so I love you as much as the universe, and even beyond,” I say, as we dance around the kitchen.
He giggles when I have to stop. I’m starting to feel a little dizzy and besides, I don’t want to make my son feel sick.
“I’m having dinner with you both tonight. I’ve got the weekend off and then I’m back to daytime shifts for a while.”
Callum’s little arms go high up in the air and he runs off as if he’s flying like a superhero.
“Off you go, little one,” I tell him. “Go clean-up for dinner.”
That night, with Ali by my side, I gaze at an image of the guy I’m dating this weekend.
“You know they could be lying,” I say to Ali, feeling a little suspicious at such good looks. “This might not be them at all. They’re sooo hot it's unreal!”
“What! You think they might be a couple of SOB’s pretending to be hot marines?” She laughs. “I’m damn sure they’re the real deal. It's gonna be a hot date for us girl.”
I hope she’s right because the last thing I need right now is to be let down by another man.
As it turns out, they were who they said they were. All thoughts of Calvin soon disappear out of my head as the night progresses. Then Ali hit me with a question in the girl's room.
“I’m definitely making out with my guy, how about you?” She asks me, as if she's simply ordering a cup of coffee.
I watch her through the mirror as she presses her lips together after renewing her lipstick.
“I...I’m...not sure, I don’t know, I like him, a lot. Have you seen his physique? Man, he is hot!”
“Yeah, you got the big guy but I got the athletic one. We fell real lucky, Tiffy. You having fun?”
I nod my head in answer to her question. Yes, I was having a wonderful time. My guy is handsome and quite the gentleman. He makes me feel at ease, but do I want sex with him? I’m not sure.
We leave the ladies room and our guys are standing at the bar. A little quiver of excitement churns in my belly. This guy has a body that is sculptured like a Greek god. But, you know what, Calvin has a good body too. Why am I saying that? I must get Calvin out of my mind.
He places a protective arm around me and hands me a fresh drink. It has umbrellas and cherries, and all the works. The music is loud and the night is young. Oh boy, I’m going to totally chill with a guy who's built like a gladiator.
Sadness in Texas
That was to be the last time I held my father’s hand. Ethan arrived the next day, making it in time before our father passed away. Now we are a family in mourning. Even when you expect to lose someone through illness, it still hits hard. We've always been a close-knit family. Even though our family ties are spread over long distances. This will be sad news for many of our extended family members.
It was my great grandfather who came to America to make a better life for his wife and children. They first lived in New Orleans, where my father grew up. My father left New Orleans and bought land in Texas where he started a small-time cattle ranch. That’s how he met my mother, who was the daughter of a neighboring rancher. Despite having been brought up on the Texan plains, she longed for city life. They sold their small ranch and moved to San Francisco to open a bakery. You've never tasted bread like my mother bakes, it is phenomenal.
Ethan and I got the city bug, but Nico yearned to live the Texan lifestyle, so he became a cowboy. When Ethan and I started our first tech business, we soon sold it and made our first millions. That's when Nico bought a few ranches. From there, we've built the conglomerate we are today. Although our riches came from Ethan and me, the family benefits from our wealth. My father always taught us that family matters. And, now he’s gone. A part of my heart will always be empty without
him.
Our mother accepts it graciously, she was never a loud Texan. She has always been a gentle motherly role model for us. Even at a time like this, she thinks of nothing but her sons.
“Mamma, you must grieve too,” I tell her as we sit together in the shade. We're in a part of the garden where she and papa had planted lots of blooms.
“He’s to be buried on this land, as am I,” she tells me very matter of factly.
“Is that legal?” I ask her, somewhat surprised. My mamma is not one to break the law, but I fear this act of keeping papa close to her might be borderline.
“I made arrangements with the local sheriff. It’s our land, Calvin, we can do what we like,” she smiles back at me as she pats my hand like I'm still a child.
This brashness is not like my mother at all, but I guess they both knew their time was drawing near. In a sense, it’s a way for them to be together forever. I could never imagine my parents apart. Despite her matter of fact attitude, I know that mamma will be grieving deeper than any of us.
Later I speak to my brother, Nico, about the burial arrangements. He informs me there's to be a piece of land available for all family burials if we want it. Our parents had insisted on a family memorial where we could all come back together one day. It’s odd because I never think of death. I suppose we all think it’s something that happens to someone else. Now that I'm confronted with it, I see the significance of us all coming back together at the end. Somehow, it feels right.
We each live our busy lives spread out all over the world, yet we would drop everything if a family member needed us. Right now, it's mamma who needs her family around her, even though she won’t admit to it. Papa knew she would be well looked after once he was gone. But, she will be lonely without him. They were very close in their love. Though they fought hard in their earlier years of marriage, they could never be apart. They were a couple who went everywhere together.
If I were to marry, that’s the kind of woman I would want by my side. One who isn’t afraid to speak up but who will also have my back when I need it.
I shake my head and wonder why my train of thought has returned to Tiffany. She’s a married woman with a child. I must accept that she has her life and it doesn't include me. I have my life and we will not be joining together ever again. It must be my grief that is confusing me. I’m longing for all the people I cannot have.
Chapter 11
Two for One
We come back to the hotel where the guys are staying. I agreed to it because Ali's having a good time and I don't want to spoil that for her, but I'm a little unsure that I belong here. In the darkened bar with the pulsating music and hot sweaty bodies crushed I wanted to make out with this guy. It could be down to all the tension in my life lately, but that feeling has now gone away. In the light of agreeing to come back to their hotel, it suddenly hits me how real this could get.
Though who could blame me? This guy has a sculptured body with well-defined muscle tone and the handsome features to go with it. These marines sure do build-up a fit body. But, guess what? Calvin and I making love flits through my mind. Now I’m here, in another hotel with a different guy it doesn't seem right. I try to push Calvin out of my head but he refuses to go. It wouldn’t be so bad if we were a couple, but that's far from the truth. Why am I even thinking about him anyway?
“You okay, honey?” My guy asks me as he places his rather large solid arms over my shoulders.
Now we’re facing each other and although his package isn’t quite touching me, I can feel the heat coming from it. Make up your mind, girl, what’s it going to be?
He takes my chin in his huge hand and I’m like a lump of jelly in his arms. His kiss is gentle, at first, but I know he only has one thing in mind. He wants to get laid while he’s on leave. Sure enough, he’s turning me on and I melt in his hands as hot molten lava runs through my veins.
“Crap!” I cry out. “Stop, stop it. I don’t want to do this.”
He pulls away and looks confused.
“Should I really stop?” He asks, smiling back at me. “You only need to say it once more, and I will.”
I look over at Ali who’s entwined with her date, their lips locked together. My emotions are confused and I'm not sure why. Why the hell am I thinking of Calvin when I’m out with a dream date? Yet, if I go with this guy it feels like I’m betraying the father of my child. How Calvin has managed to get a hold of my heart and stay inside my head once again, I have no idea, but, he has.
Ali and her guy come up for air and I take the opportunity to walk away from my hot date. Or I should say “run away,” which is literally what I do.
“Ali, I have to go home,” I tell her as I move towards the door at speed. “I’m sorry, I'll explain later.”
She looks at me as if she understands. Ali is such a good friend. I don’t even look back at the guy I was with. All that's in my mind is getting out of this place. I run through the hotel lobby and straight out of the front doors. Once again I'm in a cab and running away. Until I sort out my feelings over Calvin, I’m going to keep to myself. It sort of feels wrong to be with another guy. Don’t ask me why, but Calvin captured my heart years ago. Now, my heart won’t accept anyone else.
Ali stayed behind so at least I haven’t ruined her evening. Though I ruined that poor guy's night, but hey, he only wanted someone to lay. It's not as if he can't soon find another woman, with his looks.
When I get home I'm thankful everyone's asleep. Going straight to my bed, I cry myself to sleep. Calvin is the only one I ever wanted. He always was, but I’m so afraid at what might happen if it doesn’t work out.
My cell phone rings and wakes me up. The bright sun shines through the window because I didn't close the blinds. Ali's on the other end.
“Well, I want to thank you for the best night I’ve ever had in my life, so far,” she says, sounding rather pleased with herself.
“Have you even had any sleep?” I ask her.
“Nope, I was too busy with both those guys,” she laughs.
“Nooo! You didn’t?” I ask, a little shocked at what she’s implying.
“I most certainly did and hey girl, you missed out on an amazing experience,” she chuckles.
“What can I say? I’m glad you had a good time because I was feeling as if I let everyone down,” I confess.
“No way, girl. Although I gotta admit I’d have sooner you stayed and made out with the guy. You need some release, girl. But, I was able to stand up and do my duty. Anyway, I’ll tell you all about it later because if I don’t get some sleep, I’ll never be ready for work tomorrow. Love you,” she says and cuts me off.
Typical, she loves cutting people off over the phone. She always wants the last word, but I don’t mind, I’m used to it. Ali doesn’t have a mean bone in her body, it’s just the way she is. That’s why she could make out with two guys and not have a care in the world. Whereas I’d feel guilty for the rest of my life. I can’t wait to hear her story.
Right now though, it’s not Ali I need to be concentrating on but Calvin. I’m pretty sure he’s left town as I haven’t heard from him these last few days. I can’t say I’m surprised as I did drop that marriage bombshell on him the last time I saw him. It could be that he's finally given up on me. After all, I did behave like a bitch towards him. Now I’m beginning to regret it. Have I lost him for the second time in my life?
“Let’s Drink to That”
A few days later the family gathers together for my father's funeral. It was a large affair with family visiting from Italy and elsewhere. We stayed on the ranch and my brother, Nico, took care of all the arrangements. We all stayed in the ranch house which has ample rooms to accommodate all who came to pay their respects. Now it's over, we three brothers are returning to San Francisco together. Mamma wants to stay by papa's side and won't go anywhere.
As it happened, Mia was to host a huge charity event at her main restaurant. Already planned prior to our family loss, it was some
thing I’d agreed to be involved with. Nico wasn't going to come but we agreed that we should be together for our grieving stages. It took some time coaxing him away from his beloved ranch, but he knew he needed a break. In reality, he doesn’t need to work, the ranch manages itself. He has a trustworthy and dependable livestock manager and very able ranch hands, but he loves to be a part of it. Now though, we’re dragging him to the city, despite his protestations.
Nico and I will be staying at one of our family hotels. We've invested our money over the years in many ventures, hotels being a part of our family business.
Right now, I’m back in Ethan’s apartment, visiting with Nico.
“It’s darn cold in this city,” Nico complains.
“You’re too used to that dusty environment,” Ethan laughs, handing bottles of beer around.
“Something keeps drawing me back to this city,” I say under my breath as I look out at the metropolis before me.
“I wonder if it’s a redhead?” Mia quips. “Oh, and by the way,” she adds, addressing us all, “keep the noise down, I’ve finally got Lilly to sleep.”
We move outside and onto the large balcony. Calling it a balcony does it a disservice. It's a huge outdoor space that overlooks the city, it even has a small pool.
“So, who’s the redhead then?” Nico asks me, showing an interest in my personal life.
“Actually, it’s an old friend I bumped into before we came to the ranch,” I reply, not divulging much.
“Come on, bro, I can tell she’s more than just an old friend. I see the twinkle in your eyes as you’re thinking about her,” Nico teases.
“I’d rather not talk about her.”
I attempt to end that line of conversation but to no avail as Nico pushes for more information.
“Whoa! Someone has it serious!” He declares.