by B C Morgan
“That’s a different bike right, there’s no way anyone could have followed us,” I say hopefully, and he nods along but he’s miles away and I’d love to know where he’s gone.
WE FIND a hotel attached to a pub, they don’t even bat an eye at us as they pass us a key and send us off on our merry way.
“I don’t understand this H, how do they keep finding us. We haven’t messaged anyone, and I only just accessed my emails who the fuck are they?” My voice is growing higher in pitch and my arms are curling around my stomach.
“I may be to blame here,” he says sheepishly, and he pulls back as I launch myself at him, catching me around my waist and holding me away from him.
“What did you do?” I ask, my eyes spitting fire, after all the guilt I’ve been harbouring over this, and he may be just as responsible for why they keep finding us, is he shitting me right now?!
“I’ve messaged my boss a few times, as well as Ivy,” I relax in his hold enough for him to let me go and I move to the other side of the room. Looks like I’m not the only one who ignores his ‘sage’ advice.
“Looks like you’ll be needing a new one too, hand your phone over,” I order, holding my hand out and narrowing my eyes while holding my head up. Yet again the height difference makes it impossible for me to look down at him, but I’m giving it my best shot.
He keeps looking between the phone and me and it's making me curious, is there something he doesn’t want me to see on it. He unlocks it and I know for a fact he’s deleting something. What do you have to hide Harrison?
He shoves it into my hand before storming off into the bathroom and I take this opportunity to give Ivy a call, I just need to word this right.
“Harry, what are you doing? I thought you couldn’t call me with everything that's going on,” she sounds nervous, I wonder how much he’s told her.
“How much do you know?”
“Holy crap Henleigh, are you okay?” She rushes out, as though she’s afraid I’m going to hang up on her or something.
“Ivy, focus. I need to know how much Harrison has told you and then I need you to do something for me,” I’m talking quietly now, I don’t need H to hear this.
“Everything, I know the guy who beat you is now following you. Harry thinks he’s going to try and do something real bad to you both, and we’re trying to figure out how he is keeping track. Henleigh I am sorry for what I did at Padstow and I will do anything to make it right,” she says hopefully, I just don’t know if I can trust this family. That’s what they are isn’t it, family.
“There are at least two different people following us and I don’t know if any of them are good or just a lesser of two evils, I need to know what they can and cannot do. This is where you come in, but for all I know they could be listening to us right now,” I emphasise that point clearly, she needs to know how risky this is.
“You don’t need to worry about that, maybe they can trace you but they can’t tap your phone, not without having access to it or being in the government,” she says casually, but it does very little to reassure me.
“I was knocked out, the guy who acted as though he was on my side may have done something, guess I’ll need a new phone entirely. Look I need you to listen closely okay, Roxie hates you for whatever reason but I need you to get a message to her.” I drag my hand through my hair, I need to choose my words carefully, just in case I can’t trust her. “Tell her I’m on the right track and ask if she’s still looking for a guitarist. That’s all I need and also ask her if Bella was lucky in love as I could use some ‘advice.’ I will call you in a couple of days from a private number, please do this for me,” I say, I don’t care if I sound like I’m begging, Roxie is the only one I can trust and Ivy is my only option.
“I’ll do it, but Henleigh please,” she hesitates before I hear her sigh deeply, “look after yourself and Harry. He’s not as bad as he likes people to believe.”
“I know he isn’t, I’ll speak to you in a couple of days,” I say, just as I disconnect the call and Harrison comes back out.
“We have two days until I’ll know where we need to go, what shall we do?” I ask and I don’t miss his stoic demeanour or the way he holds his hand out so he can have his phone back.
“I only rang Ivy, don’t worry I didn’t try to find out what you were so clearly trying to hide. Got a secret girlfriend or something H?” I ask, as I pull out a change of clothes and get my things together so I can have a shower.
“Or something,” he says under his breath and I’m not jealous. I’m really not.
WE FALL asleep around midnight and by the deep bags under his eyes and the paleness of the skin, he’s clearly sleeping as well as I am. We get up and dressed and we’re acting on nothing more than autopilot as we go through the motions and set off for a phone shop. I’m going to miss my phone but I can’t risk it, I don't second guess myself as I crush the screen beneath my boot and shove it in the bin.
We don’t waste much time getting a pay as you go SIM card each and a cheap touch screen phone for me, and then we go around the town and pick up some extra clothes and some food to keep in the car.
“H, if you’re not great with computers how did you set it all up. The emails and the countdown, you couldn’t even be traced. We could only prove the emails were coming from the school,” he’s looking at me questioningly, probably wondering why I’ve waited this long to ask him in the first place. He’s got a point Henleigh, you need to be faster on the draw.
“I had some help from Finley with the emails, he had his brother set it up for me and that was it. The countdown failed because I did that on my own, I still don’t know how it was taken over but I'm guessing that was the work of our friendly neighbourhood psycho,” he says mockingly and I can’t help but let out a bitter laugh.
“We must be blowing through your money with the amount of hotels we’ve stayed at,” he points out and I roll my eyes in return, until I sign into my banking app.
“Umm H honey, we may have a problem,” he raises his eyebrows as I turn my phone around to face him. My bank is now empty, forty grand has just upped and vanished.
“I’ve got about a couple of hundred in mine,” he says as he quickly checks and sighs in relief when his money shows up.
“I have the same in my duffel, but that won’t keep us going for long, what are we supposed to do?” Panic is setting in and it's getting hard to keep my cool.
“Ever been camping?” He asks with a smirk and I cover my face with my hands. I hate bugs.
We get everything we could possibly need, a four-man tent because Harrison is adamant that a two-man won’t be big enough. Two sleeping bags, a camping stove, a kettle and some bowls, plates and cutlery. He grabs some other bits, but I don’t even remember what those were, although I do know he grabbed some sort of dimmable lantern and that’s where my interest in our great endeavour runs out.
“Oh shit, someone dropped their keys,” I say as I pick up a set of keys and head into a shop, but Harrison grabs me and pulls me back outside.
“What are you doing?” I ask as I blow my hair out of my face and put my aviators back in place.
“Maybe we shouldn’t hand those in,” he looks down at my hand and my mouth drops open, he can’t be serious.
“Harrison, that’s theft,” I whisper yell, as he pulls me further from the street and away from prying ears.
“They keep finding us when we do things the legal way, and we’re not stealing more, borrowing,” his voice has this really weird sound to it, does he believe this pile of shit he’s shovelling at me right now.
“They’ll get it back and we’ll look after it, we just need to get out of town far enough that we can dump the car and maybe jump on a train or a coach somewhere.” He places his huge hands on my shoulders, but his eyes weigh me down more than his hands ever can. “You don’t trust that Sawyer guy, and yet we’re driving his car. What if they’re tracking that as well? It would explain how that bike keeps find
ing us,” why does he have to be so wise? I wonder if he was some kind of owl in a past life.
It doesn’t feel right as we press the button on the key fob and we see the lights of a Peugeot flash, Harrison stops before me and takes my hands in his. “We’re only borrowing it, I’ll even ring the police and tell them where to find it once we get away from here. I promise,” he leans his head on mine and I feel his breath wash over me as I resolve my feelings and slowly close my eyes.
Big guy if you’re up there, please forgive me.
We get into the car and pull out onto the road, I watch in the rear view mirror as a lady comes running out of the shop and shouts at us. I don’t need to be able to hear the words to know she’s asking us to stop, to come back; we can’t.
My head whips around in shock as a warmth permeates through my hand and I look down on my lap to see my leggings scrunched in one fist whilst my other, is in Harrison’s. I look up at him in a daze and he smiles gently, a storm is battling within his gaze. A blizzard of emotions, swirling too fast to put my finger on or to even attempt to name. What is going on in that head of yours Harrison? Will you ever tell me? I hope so.
WE DRIVE THROUGH THE NIGHT, taking back roads and motorways, anything we can to lose any motorbike or car that stays behind us for longer than we like. By the time we make it down to Skegness, yay there’s a beach, we have driven so far out of our way that we doubt anyone could have kept up. We abandon the car on the outskirts, and call a taxi making sure we’re far enough away from the car that it won’t be assumed that it belongs to us.
We get taken to a quiet-ish campsite, but busy isn’t bad seeing as we’ll be less conspicuous this way. Harrison goes to pitch the tent while I walk a safe distance to ring Ivy, I hope she has something for me.
“Hello,” she says cheerfully, and it makes me smile, I think I can be friends with her again. If I make it through this.
“Hey Ivy,” I say softly but I don’t miss the sharp inhale at the sound of my voice.
“Hi, sorry I’m not looking for a new provider right now. I’m afraid I’m still within my contract,” her voice is sugary sweet and dripping fallacies, shit is she in trouble?
“Ivy, are you alone?” I ask forcefully while my eyes dart around to make sure no one is listening in.
“No, sorry my mind cannot be changed. I have to go, your call has helped me to realise I need a new ringtone. Have a great day ma’am, I’m about to find me something slow, acoustic and maybe a hint of guitar. Have a great day,” she says with a melodious voice and disconnects the call.
She has answered my question, I know where Roxie has gone, it has to be fate that she has chosen that place, surely. The trees surrounding our campsite feel foreboding, there isn’t any light cutting through the thick foliage, but instead of feeling safe and protected, I feel imprisoned. There aren’t any walls out here in the open so why does it feel as though they are closing in and I’m one step away from being crushed under the impact.
Is the ground shaking, why is everything spinning? I stumble back towards our spot and Harrison looks up at me with confusion clouding his eyes. I’m trembling, what if something happens to Ivy? What the fuck can I do?
“Henleigh,” he says hesitantly, and I do not know why him saying my name tears through me like a wrecking ball, I fall down to my arse and stare at the ground.
I run my fingers through the blades of grass, teasing my skin. I need to feel something natural, no more fabrication, no more fear and no more secrets and lies.
I look up at him, putting my sunglasses on to shield me from the orb burning bright in the sky, as he crouches before me and waits for me to tell him what is happening. Telling him about Ivy isn’t easy, I don’t want to worry him unnecessarily, but he needs to be aware of the risks.
“If she was happy until she heard your voice, then I would say she doesn’t feel threatened. Whoever is there won’t hurt her, as long as she doesn’t hear from us. This is all a guess, but I think as long as she can’t tell them where we are, they will leave her be. Whoever they are,” he sounds calm but his white knuckles, popping veins and cold eyes tell a different story.
“I know where Roxie will be, but I’m not ready to go there just yet. This world is full of irony isn’t it?” I say as I push my fingers into the dirt and wonder why my voice sounds so...distant. Too much pain and history and nowhere near enough time to recover from it, before this shit show piles more and more on top of us.
‘What’s going on? Where do we need to go?” He asks, but he already knows, he just wants me to say it, to confirm it.
“Back to where it all began, we’ll find her in London.”
ELEVEN
FOURTEEN DAYS since my home was set aflame, no one has found us here yet and that’s promising. We just can’t stay here indefinitely; we have to go to London and find Roxie. This is the place I’ve been fighting to return to, but it feels wrong now. I’m still no closer to discovering who my brother really was but what I do know is painting a picture I can’t unsee. The world feels like a tumultuous place with thunderclouds instead of a pretty blue sky and an inferno of fire preparing to burn us to the ground instead of the pale moon that guides many weary travellers into the light.
I no longer have a moon or the stars to guide me, all I can see are the blinding headlights, threatening to scorch my retinas so I never see clearly again.
“Henleigh, you ready to go?” H asks, as he packs up the tent and waits for our taxi to take us to the bus station.
We’re going to London and it feels as though I’m preparing to say goodbye to this world, if that’s the case then maybe someone out there will be kind enough to instil some colour back into my life. I’d rather die in a sea of multicolour splendor, than the colourless and drab world I see now. It feels like an anchor, dragging me further and further into the inky depths of the ocean, maybe just this once someone can break the chain and let me soar free. Just once before everything ends.
“I’m ready,” I reply as I push my shoulders back and keep my head held high. I collect the bits the stubborn oaf couldn’t force into his oversized bag, along with my duffel and we’re off.
Heading for the high end of London, knowing that I don’t belong there, I never did. It doesn’t matter how much money my father earns now, we’ll always belong in the bad part of town. It makes me think of this one piece of paper we found within Elliott’s folder, but I can’t go there not now, not yet. Another fable proved wrong and a liar brought into the light. My father didn’t build us up from nothing and he certainly didn’t earn the luxury we apparently live now, not in the beginning anyway.
“Hey, it’s going to be okay,” H says as he interlocks his fingers through mine and squeezes my hand. I look down at our combined hands and I feel nothing but confusion and comfort. Why can’t things be straightforward, I never know how to be with H anymore? Sure, I see him as a friend, but he flips quicker than a light switch. From nice to beast in a single second, I’m not even sure which version I prefer.
The taxi takes us to the bus station so we can claim our seats on the coach, it’s cheaper than a train. Even if it does take longer, leaves you feeling like sardines being contained for all your worth in a tin one size too small and usually hotter than the Egyptian desert with an air conditioner that never quite packs the necessary punch. Yes, I’m feeling beyond cranky today, I wonder if it shows.
ASIDE FROM THE odd kid whining that they’re bored, it’s fairly library esque on the coach today. Harrison has his head leaning back on the seat with his eyes shut, I’m not sure if he’s asleep or simply shutting out the world but I won’t bother him. I wonder what it is about him though that leaves me tied in knots. He always has from that moment he ordered me out of his seat, to having his hand around my throat. There’s something unsettling and uncontained about him, like a tempest set on destroying the next island it comes upon. He calls to me and I hate it.
I hate that he makes my blood boil into a barely controlled rage, h
ow he also makes me simmer in a low heat when he looks at me in a certain way. Do I have feelings for Harrison and if so, when did they start?
“I can feel you watching me,” he grumbles as his eyes open just barely to look my way and see that I am in fact watching him.
“Just making sure you’re still in the land of the living,” I reply, waving my hand dismissively, he narrows his eyes at me before shaking his head and closing his eyes again.
“Do you think Roxie can help us?”
“I don’t know but I trust her and there aren’t many people I can say that about,” it comes out quieter than I intended but it’s the truth.
“I know how you feel, that’s Ivy for me. It used to be Finley until he fell in with the Shepherds and became all about his status,” he snorts at that but wasn’t he the same way?
“You ruled that school, how were you any different?” Stop making yourself seem so interesting to me, I don’t want to like you H.
“I didn’t seek it nor ask for it, it was handed to me when I walked in and refused to let anyone get away with their bullshit. When I’d use my words as well as my fist to get a point across, and then there’s the old man. He’s old money and he keeps on making more, unfortunately money speaks to everyone; the only reason I fell at Padstow was because I developed a weakness. Otherwise, I still would have been the guy the girls were scared to want, and the guys were terrified to refuse.” He’s so upfront about it all, but also offhand. As though none of it mattered and maybe he’s glad it all went away.
“Why did you stand up for me?” A simple question but I don’t have a simple answer for it in return. I lay my head back and close my eyes, I’m going to answer I just need to figure it out before I do.
“I can tell you the reason I did it was because it was the right thing to do,” my eyes are still closed but I can feel his stare burning through me.