by Nikki Wild
"You know," he said. I sighed. Yeah, I knew. What he was asking, anyway.
"I've already told you everything I know," I said. And it was true. I knew that Alexei was hot to get revenge on the Rogue Tide boys. And that was it. I wasn't privvy to Bratva business. Mostly because of my tits, but also because I consciously tried not to know anything about club business. It left a nasty taste in my mouth, especially since Alexei was running the game - straight into the ground.
"Yes, but," he halted. "If you knew more?"
I bit my lip. Of course I would tell him. Right? I would never want anything bad to happen to him, or Amy. The rest of the club...well, I didn't know them, so it was hard to say I'd want to protect them. But as long as Sinner was a Tide, as long as that made him a target, I would tell him what I could.
Wouldn't I?
"You hesitated," he growled, pulling back further. My body ached its disapproval, but all I could do was collapse, running my hands over my eyes in frustration.
"I would tell you," I said. "It's just not an easy question. That's my family, Sinner. Even if Alexei is..."
Nope. Couldn't expand on that thought. Best to just go right past it.
"It's my blood," I said. "Betraying blood isn't something you do lightly. But I would tell you. To protect you, and Amy."
He eyed me as I peeked out through a curtain of my own fingers. I sighed and grabbed his hand, pulling it against my chest, between my naked and heavy breasts.
"Feel this heart? It's complicated, and very often it's confused," I said. "But it's also strong as fuck. And right now, it belongs to you."
"I just need to know," he said. "That you'd put me first."
I let go of his hand, shaking my head. My lust was waning as our conversation turned dire.
"That's a cruel thing to expect of me," I said. "What would you do if the situation was reversed? If you knew that the Rogue Tide was going to come at my family for revenge, putting Aly and I in danger?"
He knew how much I loved my little sister.
"I'd tell you," he said firmly. "I'd get you someplace safe."
"Me? Me and Aly? Or my whole family? Daniil and Deda and everyone?"
Now, it was his turn to hesitate.
"Exactly," I said. "Lay down, baby."
He looked at me for a second before doing just that, turning on his side to face me. I did the same, reached for his cheek and stroked it. Even that was enough to rekindle the flame inside me. The fire that never sizzled to its death, no matter how many storms threatened to douse it entirely.
"We're here, now," I said. "If I can protect you, I will. And if you can protect me, I know you will, too. But I don't know anything, and you know why. And right now, I don't need to be protected."
His hands closed on my hips and pulled. Hard again, his cock nestled against my stomach.
"Then what do you need?" he growled.
"This is a good start," I said, right before his lips closed over mine.
Chapter 22
Sinner
Burying myself inside her would make the whole world alright. So that's what I did. Starting with my tongue; buried in her mouth. Then my hands, in her hair. She bit my lower lip as her thighs spread and her hips arched. But holding back made it sweeter. I could satisfy myself, in the moment, with the creamy flesh of her thighs. Even daring to slide myself between her wet lips, under the small thatch of hair that I loved. It reminded me I was with a woman. She moaned, hands on my ass, pulling.
"Patience," I muttered against her mouth, resisting her. The head of my cock slid against her clit and she hissed, throwing her head back on the pillow, sending her black hair across the white bed. Her neck vulnerable. My lips landed there, the slight hint of female sweat mixed with the impossible sweetness of her.
I could feel the animal in her coming out. Her fingers becoming claws, fingernails raking. The desperation of her moans and the feral pumping of her hips, each stroke driving my head against her clit. She just kept getting wetter. And wetter. She'd render this whole bed useless, soaked through to the other side of the mattress.
"Let me watch you," I growled, pushing onto my hands, still only sliding myself between her legs. She looked up at me, then put her hand on my chest. The other moved between my legs. She handled my shaft like it was hers. Tailor made for her pleasure. Her eyes locked onto mine and she began to move me against her. Sliding me up and down between her lips.
My cock dripped, engorged and impatient. But I wanted to watch her come. Her cheeks were already getting red, her mouth opening in a perfect circle. Her eyebrows came together, eyes showing a pleasure that came close to pain.
"That's right," I murmured, stoking her flames. "Show me what this cock makes you do."
"Ohhh," she groaned, touching my dick to her clit one last time. She started to shudder, and then she was pulling me inside her. I plunged in all the way, filling her in the same moment she came. Her hips arched, pussy clenching around me. Soaking my balls in her pleasure. The sensation was almost enough to make me come with her.
Almost.
I leaned onto one elbow, covering her at an angle. She was panting in recovery, looking up at me, waiting. My free hand travelled down her side, tracing her curves all the way down to her hip. And then I held her down and fucked her.
I fucked her until she screamed for mercy. I fucked her so hard her breasts bounced underneath me, nipples swirling in a crazy pattern against my chest. I fucked her until she came again, and then I fucked her harder.
"Sinner," she cried. "Please, baby..."
"What?" I demanded. "Tell me what you want."
Before she could answer, she was on her stomach, and I slid into her from behind. The pillow muffled her screams as I railed her pussy into total submission. She came one more time before she managed to get another word out.
"Come...come in me, please," she moaned. "Need you...to come...in me."
"That's what you want?" I grit out, hands on her hips, holding her in place. "Want me to fill you up?"
"Yes! Yes! Please!"
Shit. That was enough to make me lose it. And I had a fucking lot to lose. Even though she'd ridden me hard a few hours before, my balls recovered fast. Her pussy clenched as I burst into her, splashing my seed against her walls, feeling the heat of her like heaven in reverse: paradise was this, burning hot, sucking me dry, my balls nearly aching as they emptied. I collapsed against her, kissing her lower back, arms on either side of her shaking body.
"Baby," she moaned, sliding forward and rolling over. I settled myself beside her. We still had twenty minutes. I meant to spend every one of them feeling her in my arms. Even the weight of her body against my forearm felt delicious.
But the solace didn't last too long.
Something nagged at the back of my head.
There had been reports of strangers loitering around in our territory. Outside the clubhouse. Discreet, but not discreet enough to evade all detection. No one had any doubt that it was the Maximovich clan, their mafia boys scoping us out. We stored the drugs in the basement; there wasn't too much left, anyway, but we were still debating whether or not to move them. If they came for us, though, the drugs would be the least of our problems. The Bratva was no joke. They could do real damage to us. Real, physical, bodily damage.
Someone could die.
It was very likely, in fact, that someone would die for what Army had done. We all held a kind of stupid hope that the Bratva would see the mistake they made, bringing drugs into our territory and leaving them out in the near-open. That they'd count it as a loss, and the uneasy truce between us could continue. But those shadowy figures implied otherwise.
Yeah, Lucy had told me her uncle wanted revenge. She told me he probably wanted to go on a balls-out rampage, raid us. But she also said she didn't know much about how her family worked. As a female, she wasn't exactly welcome into the inner fold of criminal goings-ons. All she knew, she heard from eavesdropping on her Uncle Alexei, or from tidbits dropped by
her brother Daniil.
But was that true?
Would she tell me - and risk her family? Would she give up precious Maximovich secrets, just to save my skin? Did her feelings for me run that deep?
I had no way of telling. I had to trust her, blindly. And believe me when I say, that wasn't an easy thing for me to do. It was damn near impossible, in fact.
I wondered if she could feel it. Nestled there in my arms, her head on my chest, could she feel the hesitation in my heart? And what would it mean if she could? Would she leave - run out, screaming and cursing and calling me a bastard? Probably. Women don't like being doubted. Losing her over this stupid family feud would kill me.
But so would dear old Uncle Alexei, if he had the chance.
Now, where the fuck did that leave me?
I kissed the top of her head.
"Don't let me fall asleep again," she said, though her voice was already thick with sleep. I chuckled. Once she fell asleep, there was no safe way to rouse her. Lucy was a wildcat most of the time; in the first few minutes after a nap or a night's sleep, she was a wildcat with rabies. I didn't dare get within a few feet of her. I sure as hell wasn't going to wake her up so she could claw my face off instead of give me a goodbye kiss.
So when she did fall asleep, as I knew she would, and it was time for me to go, I slipped away as quietly as I could. Kissing her lips, feeling her eyelashes flutter on my skin as I did. Closed the door quietly behind me, and walked away, back into my real life, where nothing was safe, nothing was sweet, and no one could be trusted.
Chapter 23
Lucya
"Oooh," I said, closing the front door behind me. "What's on tap tonight?"
Aly barely looked up from the couch, the remote in her hand, her feet in their fuzzy boots up on the coffee table.
"Hoarders," she said.
"My favorite," I chirped, plopping down next to her. Her eyes barely moved from the screen, but she tossed the remote to the side, which was an improvement, I guessed. Something was up. Aly was never chattier than when something trashy was on TV. I think the sense of moral superiority she got from watching people with sadder lives put her at ease. "School okay?"
"Yup," she said. "Last semester's kind of a joke."
"Not for me," I said. "My last semester was..."
"Well, it's different for you, isn't it?" Aly snapped. "You went to nursing school. It's different."
"Uh, I guess so," I said. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Aly said, grabbing the remote again as a commercial came on. She automatically flipped to a different channel, showing a different trashy show.
"Come on," I said. "You're not PMSing. I've literally known you for longer than you've been sentient. What's the deal? Is it a guy? God, I hope it's a guy, Aly."
Aly didn't date. She didn't have boyfriends - or girlfriends, for that matter. She was 21, and still a virgin. I mean, it wasn't like I had a parade of men in my bed before meeting Sinner, but at least I'd dated guys and knew my way around a blowjob. It would surprise me if Aly even owned a vibrator. Rather have her be celibate than pregnant, but somewhere in the middle would be alright, too.
"Ha," she snorted. "That's pretty funny, coming from you."
"Excuse me? Do you know something I don't about my life?" I asked, a little bit of fear creeping in. I thought I'd been good about keeping Sinner a secret, but maybe Aly's sister senses were tingling. Every time I came home late - or not at all - I had an excuse. I always showered, never let his smell linger on my skin. I deleted our texts, we met at hotels, we were so careful it was stupid.
Aly flipped back to Hoarders.
"You know that smile you used to get after seeing Greg?"
"Greg? Greg who?" I played dumb, but it was a last-ditch effort. She had my number. Dammit. I could fool myself easier than I could ever fool Aly.
"Greg the python-dicked sophomore," Aly said, finally meeting my eyes. "That smile? You've been smiling like that again."
"Bullshit," I said. "So what's your diagnosis Dr. Alyona? Chronic orgasm syndrome? Please. I've just been killing it at work lately."
"What the hell does that even mean? You're a nurse, Lu, not a stock broker.”
"Okay," I said. "Okay. I'm done here. Thanks for the chat, sis. Enjoy watching your future husband sort through his snotty tissue collection."
I needed a quick retreat. Aly was one of three people I couldn't lie to. And Aly couldn't lie to anyone. It was her worst character flaw. It wasn't that she was so honorable and virtuous, she was just a terrible actress.
"Lucya Maximovich, you've been sleeping with that red dress dude!"
It took me a second to realize she wasn't talking about a crossdresser, but the dress I'd worn on that first fateful date. She even got up on her feet when she made that bold and accurate exclamation. She pointed a finger at me, eyes narrowed.
"AND...you're hiding it from me. Which means it's a problem."
"Or, it means I'm your older sister, and don't feel like spilling my sex life to you," I said.
"I know the color of Greg Bushinsky's pubes!" Aly yelled. I wish I had that recorded, to use as my ringtone. Out of context, it was hilarious. "You have no issue sharing all the tawdry details of your sex life with me. Until now. So what gives?"
"Tawdry? My sex life isn't tawdry!"
"Aha! So you admit you have one!"
"Aly! Drop it! I'm entitled to my secrets," I said, turning around and heading for my room.
"No, you're not,” Aly said, hot on my heels. "Not this kind of secret. Who is he? Why haven't you paraded him around in front of me to try and get me jealous enough to get a man of my own? I know for a fact that’s your favorite hobby!"
I slammed the door in her face.
But then I opened it right back up.
"Oh, my God, Aly," I said, hugging her. "I'm sorry!"
She was stiff in my arms, not yielding to my embrace
"Who is he?" she demanded. I pulled away, seeing the fiery anger in her eyes - covering a deep well of fear. I sighed, feeling my shoulders give way as my willpower did the same.
"He's one of the Rogue Tide," I said. Immediately, the anger in her eyes disappeared, and all that was left was that big chasm of fear.
"Lu," she said, voice already shaking. "Really?"
I pulled her hand, leading her into my room so we could sit on the bed.
"Yeah," I finally said. "Really."
"He's gonna kill you," Aly said. "He's going to kill you, Lucya."
"No, he won't," I said. We didn't need to qualify who the "he" was in her statement. "Because he's never going to know."
"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," Aly said, but tears were dripping down her cheeks. "You couldn't even hide it from me."
"Aly, you see me every day, and you know me better than he ever will," I pointed out.
"Yeah, but...why? Why are you seeing him? Aren't you scared?"
"Yeah, I am," I admitted. "But he's worth it."
Now, Aly shook her head, struggling to smile and cry at the same time.
"If you could hear yourself right now," she said. "He's worth it? Are you quoting a L'Oreal ad to me? How could some guy be worth all this? Lying to your family, putting yourself at risk...putting him at risk, Lu! If you love him so much, you have to realize Alexei won't just hurt you!"
I took a deep breath. Nail on the head, huh? Because it went deeper than that. It wasn't just Sinner. It was Amy, too.
"I can't explain it," I finally said. "I know that it's crazy, Aly. I know it's dangerous. But I can't stop."
"So it's a drug," she said sharply, wiping the tears away.
"No," I said. "It's love."
"Sounds like a drug to me," she said, looking down at her palms, slick with her own tears. Maybe she had a point. Maybe Sinner was a drug to me. Maybe that magical cock of his, that stupidly sexy grin, the rumble of his voice, the way he made me feel like I couldn't stop smiling if I tried...maybe that was all just a part of the drug. T
he more I got high, the more I needed it. The more I loved him, the more I needed to keep loving him, no matter what it cost.
There's no rehab for a man like Sinner.
"Aly, you need to keep this quiet," I insisted. "Not even Daniil."
"I'm not stupid, Lu," she scoffed. "Why on earth would I tell anyone?"
I bit my tongue, not wanting to mar this moment by calling her lying skills into question.
"But," she said. "You have to promise me you'll stop. I mean it. You can't keep seeing him."
My younger sister sat across from me, trying to lay down a law. But even if it was my father, back from the grave, I wouldn't have heeded that command. I certainly wasn't going to let Alyona tell me what to do.
"I can't make that promise," I said. "Aly, don't I seem happier?"
She looked away before answering.
"Yeah, but..."
"It's because I am happier," I interrupted. "I've said it before and I'll say it again. We can't lock ourselves away because of Alexei. He wins if we do that. Sinner makes me happy - happier than I've ever been. I'm not giving that up."
"Even if it saves your life?" Aly challenged. "Even if it saves his?"
God. She was right, and it was awful. This was just like a drug, too. The selfishness, I mean. The fact that his love turned me into a one-woman time bomb, set up to detonate at any moment and take everything out with me...and I didn't care. I refused to disarm myself. I felt something fail inside me, like a safe had just been broken into, revealing something awful that was supposed to stay locked up forever.
"I'll think about it," I said slowly. "I'll promise you that, alright? I promise that I'll think about it."
Aly sighed, realizing she wouldn't get anything more out of me.
"Well, think about it over lasagna," she said, standing up. "There's leftovers in the fridge."
I'd have to start re-thinking our nicknames. Who was acting like little mother now?
"Can I watch TV with you?" I said, wondering if Aly's nerves were too sore for me to test just yet. I would think about it. About the whole situation. But after our fight, I really just wanted to spend the night with my sister. She shrugged, giving me the ghost of a grin.