The Bucket List

by Scarlett Haven

  Kale gives me a thumbs up, and points a video camera at me.

  The beat hits, so I move a little bit, trying not to look so tense.

  Then I sing.

  People are cheering for me in the audience, so I loosen up. I dance, even though I’m worse at dancing than I am at singing.

  About halfway through my song, Kale gives somebody else his vlogging camera and he comes up and stage and dances with me. I laugh, because he might possibly be the only person in the world who dances worse than me. He grabs the other mic and helps me sing.

  I love him for it.

  At the end of the song, Kale grabs my hand and we take a bow. I’m still laughing hard.

  We put down our microphones and then Kale picks me up, carrying me off the stage. People are screaming and cheering. And I feel like a rock star. It’s such a rush. Why was I so afraid to put myself out there?

  The guy that finished recording us hands the camera back to Kale.

  “You guys rocked,” he says.

  “Thanks,” we say.

  We spend the next hour and a half meeting fans, signing autographs and taking selfies. And sure, I’ve done this at VidCon before, but this is different. People actually drove here to see me. And it’s a good feeling.

  The owner of the bowling alley asked us to come back. We said we couldn’t, of course.

  But it was possibly the best night of my life.

  And I get to scratch something else off my bucket list.

  5. Sing karaoke in front of a huge crowd.

  Sunday, June 5

  New Orleans

  We drive across a really long bridge that leads to New Orleans.

  And I have got to pee—really bad.

  I dance in my seat and Kale laughs.

  “I told you not to drink that bottle of water,” he says.

  “Ha, ha,” I say, no humor in my voice.

  Off to the side of the bridge, there are homes built up on stilts and a lot of dead-looking trees. Pretty soon the houses stop and we drive over a lake. Or, I think it’s a lake.

  “I just thought of something else I want to put on the bucket list,” I say, pulling the piece of paper out of my pocket.

  32. Ride a jet ski on a lake.

  “Ride a jet ski on a lake,” I tell Kale.

  “Why a lake?” he asks.

  “Well, I’ve already got learn to surf and see the Atlantic Ocean. I’ve already been in the ocean, but I’ve never been in a lake,” I say. “We should do something lake related.”

  “We can go to Arkansas next. I think they probably have good lakes,” he says. “Since we’re staying a few days here, I can find something.”

  I update the list in my phone of all the states I’ve been to. Idaho. Obviously, since I was raised there. California, Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Louisiana. That’s seven—five more than Wednesday.

  “Do you think people here have Cajun accents?” I ask.

  “Probably. Maybe Cajun and southern,” he answers. “New Orleans is probably a blend of a lot of cultures. I bet a lot of people come here on vacation.”

  “What are our plans today?”

  “Dinner,” he answers. “I don’t have anything for tonight, since we’re just getting here. Tomorrow we should go to the French Quarter.”

  “Yes!”

  I see the city skyline up ahead.

  “Almost there,” Kale says.

  Good.

  Cause I’ve still got to pee.

  “Oh, take that exit so I can pee!” I say, pointing out the first exit in, like, way too long.

  We stop at a gas station that reminds me of some of the ones I’ve seen in LA. You have to ask for a bathroom key. I’m too scared to sit on the toilet, because it looks gross.

  After using the bathroom, I get a bottle of water, just because I hate going in somewhere just to use the bathroom.

  “I can’t believe I’m in New Orleans,” I say, as Kale and I walk back to my car. I get in the driver’s seat this time. “You realize we’ve been in four states in five days. We are hitting them all so fast.”

  I push in the brake and push the start button on my car.

  “Well, Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico, and most of Texas was really flat and boring. We can go slower. I have a feeling we’re going to want to enjoy the scenery,” Kale says. “I hear Arkansas and Tennessee are pretty.”

  “I’m going to love the accents,” I say, putting my car in reverse. I check my mirrors before looking at the back up camera.

  “Here, we are going to be the one with accents.”

  “I don’t have an accent,” I say.

  “Sure you do,” Kale says.

  I pull out on the busy street and follow my GPS as we head towards the hotel.

  “Are we going to record some videos tonight?” I ask. “We can edit and upload tonight, that way we can chill the rest of the time we’re here.”

  “Sure,” Kale says. “I’m still looking for a good music festival. I feel like we need to go to a music festival in the south. Southern people seem like they know how to throw a good celebration.”

  “Okay,” I say, thankful that I have Kale. He’s good at planning. Me; not so much. Kale has found us good deals at all the hotels, found the best eating spots, and I have just gone along with everything he’s planned.

  I’m glad I’m with him.

  “Kale, thank you for all your help,” I tell him. “I don’t think this whole road trip thing would be very fun without you.”

  “You’re welcome, Juliet,” he says. “I can’t say it’s completely selfless. I get to be married to you. No matter how long or short our time is I’m glad you’re my wife.”

  And then he says sweet stuff like that.

  He’s only saying it because I’m dying.

  But it still means a lot to me. He’s trying so hard to be a good husband. To show me what my life could be like if I actually were married one day to the man of my dream. He’s setting the bar pretty high for guys around the world.

  Tuesday, June 7

  Mississippi.

  Kale and I are somewhere in Mississippi, on our way to some place called Mountain Home, Arkansas. Kale says we are checking a few things off the list there. I have no idea what’s there. I’ve never even heard of it. He says we’ll be driving through Tennessee, too, but only for a very short time.

  He is in the driver’s seat and I’m sitting on the passenger side. I have the cooled seats on. The humidity here is suffocating. I feel like I’m swallowing water every time I take a breath, which is not something I’m used to in Idaho and Cali. I had to take a shower last night after walking to our hotel after dinner. Even at nine o’clock at night, it’s still hot.

  I called my mom and dad last night, finally. I told them the same thing I told Jason—that I’m madly in love with Kale. I feel bad lying to them, but what else can I do? I’m not ready to tell them the truth. I don’t want them to watch me die. Letting Kale watch it is hard enough. I also told them I was having a lot of fun on my honeymoon. They let me know that they’re watching our videos that we post every night. That scares me a little bit. Can they tell that we’re pretending to be in love?

  They said they loved the video of Kale and me doing karaoke. They told me they were proud of me for stepping out of my comfort zone, which nearly brought me to tears. They’re wondering when Kale and I will be visiting Idaho, which I couldn’t answer. I’m not sure how long this road trip will take, but we still have a long ways left.

  I pull out my list, proud that I can mark another one off.

  25. Visit French Quarter in New Orleans.

  “Can I have at least a hint about what we’re doing,” I say, pouting a little bit.

  “The only thing I can say is that we are going to mark three things off your list while in Arkansas,” he says.

  “Fine,” I say. “Don’t tell me.”

  “I won’t,” he says, laughing. “Don’t pout. That might work on your brother, but it doesn’t work on m
e.”

  “It doesn’t work on Jason.”

  “Does too,” Kale says. “Jason is like putty in your hands. He just doesn’t want you to know that.”

  “Huh,” I say. “And to think, I could’ve been using it to my advantage all those years.”

  “That’s why I didn’t tell you. Whatever Jason does, I do,” he says. “But you can always talk me into doing whatever you want anyway.”

  I see a sign; it says we’re in some town called Grenada, Mississippi. It’s a small town, but I see a Walmart off the side of the interstate.

  They have a lot of Walmart stores in the south.

  It’s weird.

  “Kale, I’ve never been able to talk you into anything in your life,” I say. “Besides marrying me. And you only did that because I’m dying and you feel sorry for me.”

  “You’re crazy if you think that’s the reason I married you,” he says.

  “Then why did you?” I ask.

  “Let’s just say, you could’ve talked me into marrying you at any point,” he says.

  “Why?”

  “Why not?”

  “Kale, you know the real me,” I say. “The me that I don’t portray myself as online. On there, I’m confident. With the makeup and clothes, I’m beautiful. But off camera, I’m not confident at all. I’m not pretty. You saw me in high school. I was that nerdy girl obsessed with YouTube.”

  “You’re still that nerdy girl obsessed with YouTube,” Kale says. “But you’re wrong. You’re beautiful on and off camera. I just wish you could see yourself the way I do.”

  I don’t respond. I just look out the window at the town we’re going through.

  I’m too scared to ask him anything else.

  6 p.m.

  Go camping.

  We are in the middle of nowhere, and by the time we get there, I am a little carsick. We got off the interstate at some point, and I lost service on my cell phone for over an hour, which freaked me out. What if we had a flat?

  But when we arrive at our final destination, I smile. I pull out my piece of paper while Kale sets up the camp.

  6. Go camping.

  We’re at a lake called Lake Norfork in Mountain Home, Arkansas.

  I’m camping!

  We even stopped at Walmart, I think the only grocery store in town, and got stuff to make hot dogs and smores. I love campfire food. It's the best.

  “I rented us a jet ski for tomorrow,” Kale says, once the tent is up. He starts to work on getting the fire going.

  I let out a squeal. “I’m so excited! What’s the third thing we’re marking off the list?”

  “You’ll see tomorrow. I don’t want to tell you yet, because then you’ll be nervous all night,” he says.

  “Please, nothing can be more nerve racking than doing karaoke in front of that huge crowd.”

  He laughs and almost sounds nervous. “We will see.”

  “Is it something you’re scared to do?” I ask.

  “No. Definitely not.”

  I should’ve known better. Kale isn’t scared of anything. Except maybe my brother right now, because my brother is probably going to beat the crap out of him when we see him again.

  “The internet on my phone is so slow here,” I say. “It’s going to take forever for this video to upload.”

  “You’re just spoiled by nice hotels with fast WiFi,” he says.

  True.

  “Still have to stay in a five star hotel,” I say.

  “Already booked the room,” he says.

  “Seriously? Where at?” I ask.

  “Hey, this trip is about me surprising you,” Kale says. “You will find out when we eventually get there.”

  I’m glad he’s done that. He knows I love surprises. And even though I’m impatient and hate waiting for it, I know it’ll be worth it.

  “So, you have every day planned or something?” I ask.

  He nods. “We’re on a schedule.”

  After the fire gets going good, he sits on his camping chair beside me.

  “I feel bad. I’m making you do all the work,” I say.

  “Don’t feel bad,” he says. “I like doing this.”

  “I feel like I should fight you over this, but it’s really sweet,” I say. “We still haven’t had our first fight as husband and wife.”

  “Don’t worry. It’ll come,” he says, laughing.

  “I don’t think you and I have ever had a fight. Not even when we were kids,” I say.

  “You were too busy fighting with Jason to fight with me.”

  “Kale, you were just too nice to fight with me.”

  “I had a crush on you when we were younger. That is why I never fought with you. I pretty much thought that you were perfect,” he says, shocking me.

  “No way! But I’m two years younger. When did you have a crush on me?” I ask.

  “I guess it started when you were twelve and I was fourteen,” he says.

  “And when did your crush end?”

  “It never did.”

  I laugh.

  Because, surely he’s joking with me.

  “So, how do you feel?” Kale asks me. “I mean, what made you go to the doctor?”

  “I had a weird looking freckle on my toe, which sounds weird, but I watched this documentary online about skin cancer,” I say. “So, I went to the doctor. They removed it and did some tests. And then they knew it was cancerous. They told me not to freak out, because there are a lot of different types of skin cancer. Most types won’t kill you. They did more tests and scans. When I went in that afternoon, I thought everything would be fine. I wasn’t even nervous, you know? But then they told me I have stage four melanoma. It’s spread in a few places in my body. I don’t have any symptoms or anything, though. I feel completely fine, which makes this all weird.”

  “Where is the cancer?” he asks.

  “My stomach and intestines,” I answer. “I’m not having any stomach problems, though.”

  “You would tell me if you were in pain, right?”

  “Yes,” I answer. “I promise I will keep you updated on everything. I know that at some point traveling like this won’t be an option. Eventually I’ll be hooked to machines and having morphine pumping through my body to handle the pain. That’s why I want to enjoy this while I can. I just hope that I can finish this road trip before it gets too bad.”

  “You will make it through this trip,” Kale says.

  I nod.

  But I’m not so sure about that. I don’t know how things are going to turn out.

  Wednesday, June 8

  Ride a jet ski on a lake.

  I am on the back of a jet ski with my arms wrapped around Kale.

  I might be screaming.

  Not because I’m scared though.

  Because I’m having a blast.

  In Idaho, my family lives on a farm just outside of the city. Kale was always over. He, Jason, and I used to ride four wheelers all the time. Kale and Jason were always a little scary to ride with. Kale on a jet ski is possibly even more scary than he was on a four wheeler.

  “Do you know where we’re going?” I ask him, yelling over the motor noise. We’ve been riding around the lake for a good thirty minutes, and we’ve made a lot of turns.

  “Yeah,” he yells. “The lake isn’t that big. It’s kind of hard to get lost.”

  I trust him. He obviously has a better sense of direction than I do. But I don’t think this lake is that small. It seems huge to me, but I’ve never been on another lake to compare it to.

  I like the feel of the wind blowing through my hair. The sound of other boats. There are people riding inner tubes that are being pulled behind boats. And people here wave at us as we drive past them. It reminds me of where I’m from in Idaho. They were always super friendly. I do the polite thing and wave back.

  Really, I don’t think anybody ever waved at me in LA, unless it was their middle finger. And that seemed like a daily occurrence when stuck in traffic.


  “Everybody is so nice here,” I tell him, as he lets off the throttle.

  Just head of me, I see a huge rock wall, and a group of kids on top. Each of them jump off, one by one, screaming the whole way down.

  I think I’m going to be sick.

  “Kale, I was kidding about the whole cliff diving thing,” I say, even though I actually wasn’t kidding. “I mean, I changed my mind. I do not want to do that.”

  He turns off the motor when we get closer. “Come on, Juliet. This is on your list. You know I can’t let you chicken out.”

  “I’m scared. I don’t want to,” I say, stubbornly crossing my arms over my chest. There is pretty much no way I am going to get off of this jet ski.

  “You kids want to tie your jet ski to my boat while you jump off?” a guy with a strong southern accent laughs. Some of the kids who just jumped off are getting on his boat.

  “Sure,” Kale says. “That would be great.”

  He starts the jet ski and drivers closer, very slowly. Once he’s close enough to grab the side of the boat, the turns off the jet ski. The guy helps him pull closer and ties it for us.

  “Thank you so much,” I tell the guy.

  “Where are y’all from?” he asks.

  “Is it that obvious we’re not from here?” Kale asks, laughing.

  “Your accent gives it away,” the guy says.

  “I’m from LA,” I say, at the same time Kale says, “I’m from Idaho Falls.”

  The guy looks at us like we’ve sprouted horns. “What the heck are y’all doing in Arkansas?”

  “We’re road tripping for our honeymoon,” Kale answers.

  “Oh, my God!” a girl screeches from behind the older guy. “You are Juliet and Kale! I watch you guys all the time! I’m totally team Kalet.”

  The guy looks at us. “You two celebrities or somethin’?”

  “No,” I answer. “We’re YouTubers... I guess we’re sort of famous online.”