by Bella Jewel
Wow.
He’s really going for it.
“If you’re going to accuse me of such nonsense,” I growl, “do it later. I’m here because Alarick called me here, not to listen to you carry on. Get over it, Kendric. I’m doing my job.”
“Funny,” he hisses, “didn’t do your fuckin’ job when you should have.”
I exhale and look to Alarick who is giving Kendric a glare that makes even me shy away. He slowly turns to me and his eyes scan over me. “You look tired.”
Well, that’s not what I expected.
“I don’t sleep much at the moment, you know, Dax running free and all that. Want to share with me what you’ve found? I’m dying to get back into something other than mundane cases.”
“There’s an officer at your workplace called Steven Blanche, correct?”
Blanche, yeah, I mean I know who he is. He’s not in my department but I see him almost daily getting around the station. He’s a lead homicide detective and is mostly busy working on cases outside of the office. He’s good at what he does, from what I know. He’s got a good name. I have no idea why he’d be getting mentioned.
“Yeah, I know who he is. He’s a homicide detective. What about him?”
“We’ve stretched further and started lookin’ into Peter instead of Dax. Peter is one of the top dogs runnin’ this show, and he keeps his nose clean, but he’s not doin’ that easily. Bennett was just one of the puppets in this little performance, and we’ve got word that one of the big players is a detective, a detective by the name of Steven Blanche.”
“No, no way,” I say shaking my head. “He’s got a huge reputation, he’s good at his job, and people come all over for his skills. There is just no way he’d risk his whole career being involved in something so illegal. This man catches criminals, he brings them to justice, it’s his job, and it’s a job that he takes very, very seriously from what I’ve heard.”
“Bennett is proof that people take risks for money. If he’s up there, the silent partner, the man behind the curtains, then he’s gettin’ a fuck load of cash. He’s also makin’ sure that Dax isn’t found and Peter doesn’t have a trail. Peter calls the shots, we know that, but we have always had reason to believe he wasn’t workin’ alone.”
It just doesn’t make sense.
I can’t honestly believe Steven would be involved in this.
I don’t know him, of course, but he’s the last person I’d ever pick. To get that high up in the ranks, to be an investigator, that’s just not something you throw away.
“What makes you think Blanche is involved?”
“We’ve got our sources.”
“You’re going to have to do better than that,” I snap.
Alarick gives me a look that tells me he’s not going to take this crap from me. His jaw tightens, and he steps forward, leaning in close. “You’re a cop, half of your fuckin’ station is dirty, sorry if I’m bein’ careful about what information I throw around.”
Fuck this.
One minute he’s on my side, the next he’s not.
“You know what,” I say, shaking my head in frustration, “if you don’t trust me, then I’m out. I’ve been nothing but good to your club, and I’ve proven my loyalty. You call me here to give me information, but you’re only willing to give me a touch. I’m not here for a little, I’m here for the lot. I’m risking my career on this. Stop wasting my time.”
I turn and walk toward the door.
“Zariah!”
Briella calls my name and, just as I reach my car, she stops me with a hand around my upper arm. I turn to face her, my chest tight with rage. “What, Briella?”
“Are you okay?”
“Am I okay?” I laugh, shaking my head. “No, not really. Everything that could go wrong is going wrong and, after everything, Alarick doesn’t trust me. I don’t have time for that. Every day that Dax is out there, every day that this goes on, more women are losing their lives. Not to mention Kendric is going to go away for a very long time if we don’t find that man. Even though, right now, I couldn’t care less if he did.”
That’s a lie, but I’m angry, and right now I have no way of getting that anger out.
“Come out with me,” Briella offers, surprising me. I know she’s friends with Waverly, but as of yet, I’ve not made any friends with any of the girls because I’ve been too busy trying to keep my distance. “Merleigh, Karen, and I are going to the bar tonight—a few drinks and dinner. You should come along.”
She wants me to come along?
Why?
“I’m a cop, Briella ...”
She snorts, waving a hand. “You’re also a human with feelings and needs. I like you, Zariah, and I know Alarick does, too. Don’t take him too seriously. He’s trying very hard not to make another big mistake right now but he cares about what you think. Please, consider coming out with us. You look like you could use a night off.”
She’s right, I really could.
“Okay,” I say, mostly because the last thing I want to do right now is go home.
“Yay!” She claps. “I’ll swing by and get you around six. Is that okay?”
I look at my watch. That’s one hour away.
“Yeah, sure.”
I say goodbye to her just as Alarick walks out of the clubhouse and toward my car.
I get in and drive off.
Not today, biker.
Not today.
3
ZARIAH
“Zariah, you know Karen and Merleigh, right?” Briella asks as we walk into a local bar and restaurant in the middle of town.
Karen and Merleigh are sitting at a booth, and both girls smile at me as we approach. I give them a smile and a wave, saying, “Yeah, I know them. Hi, ladies.”
“How are you, Zariah?” Karen asks.
I take a seat on the squeaky red chairs and scoot over so Briella can squish in beside me. I shift in my tight, black dress, mostly because it has been way too long since I’ve put a dress this short on. I feel slightly uncomfortable but also really empowered to look anything like a cop right now. People look at you differently when you’re in uniform. They immediately get their backs up. It’s a damned shitty feeling.
“I’m okay, glad to be out and about. How are you?”
Karen smiles and tells me what she’s been doing lately, and Merleigh tells me that she’s started working at a local café and how good it feels to finally be doing something with her life. I feel for the poor girl—she had a hell of a time after being sold by Dax, and she’s been fighting her way back up to the surface since. That takes guts.
Cova, the other girl rescued, not so much.
Briella told me only days ago that Cova is getting worse. She’s been living with them and does nothing but sleep all day. She’s worried because no amount of therapy seems to be working. She’s sinking deeper and deeper into depression, and Briella is worried about how she’s going to get her out of it.
Cova has problems, big problems. She has lived a life many of us just can’t begin to understand. She fell for a man that is dangerous, a man who twisted her imagination into something that simply wasn’t real. She doesn’t know left from right, let alone how to move forward with her life. I actually feel bad for her.
I’d like to talk to her, but I’m not sure that would do any good right now.
“How is Waverly doing?” Briella asks me as a waitress places a round of white wine on the table. We all take a glass.
“Last I heard, she’s enjoying it. Mykel not so much.”
Briella laughs. “I can’t imagine any of those bikers liking the big city life.”
“No, me either,” Merleigh giggles.
“I’m glad they’re away from all of this, though,” I tell them. “They deserve a break after everything that happened. Waverly really went through a lot.”
Dax messed with her head, and Mykel and she have only just gotten on their feet to see where the relationship might take them. It’s a big deal.
“They really did,” Briella agrees. “What about you, honey? How are you doing with all of this? I know you’re pretty involved, and it must be hard.”
I take a sip of the drink—a long, long sip—then exhale. “I’m doing okay. If I had answers I might be better off but, honestly, I don’t even know where to start to get those answers. It’s so damned hard to find anything out. It’s all very well hidden. Anyway, let’s not talk about the case, we’re here to drink and have fun!”
All the girls raise a glass and we get to drinking. Then we eat. Then we dance. And as the night goes on, we get merrier and merrier, and I feel the stress of the world slowly fading away from my shoulders. Like maybe, just maybe, I can breathe for a second.
“We should go to the club; they’re having a party!” Briella announces after we’ve sweatily danced it out to another song and shot down another shot.
It’s not a bad idea but, at the same time, it’s a really bad idea. A huge part of me would love to go, but the other part of me, the smart part of me, knows it’s not good for me to be seen there right now. With everything going on, if I’m noticed or the cops are called out there, it’ll be very, very bad for me and this case.
“I probably can’t,” I tell her, my voice a little slurred. I’ve had way too much to drink. “If I go there and get caught, I’m risking the entire investigation and my career. I don’t think I’m ready to lose either.”
Briella gives me a guilty look. “My god, I’m such a bad friend. Of course you can’t go there! What was I thinking?”
I laugh. “It’s not your fault.”
“We can just go to another bar,” Karen suggests, wiggling her hips to the next song that comes on.
“Sounds fun.” Merleigh grins, her eyes a little glassy.
“I’m in!” Briella claps.
We all finish our drinks and get out of the bar into the fresh, cool, night air. The moment we hit it, I feel the alcohol rush to my head. It’s funny how that happens. You always feel the effects so much more clearly when outside in fresh air. I sway on my feet a little more than I’d like to admit, and I find myself grabbing Briella’s arm to steady myself.
“Oh, boy, I think you’ve had too much to drink,” she asks, her eyes concerned. “Are you okay, honey?”
“I’m fine, I just ... I didn’t realize how drunk I was until we walked out here.”
“You should get home; I don’t want you passing out.”
She’s right, I really should. I’m not overly confident that I can actually get in and out of a cab, though, and that’s horribly embarrassing to admit.
My head spins.
God, this is not good. I knew I had drunk quite a bit, I just didn’t realize how much until this very moment. It hit me like a hurricane, and now I can’t stop my world from spinning. I grip the pole like it’s my very lifeline and try to stop myself falling onto the ground. This is really very bad.
“I don’t think I can get in a cab,” I say, praying I’m not slurring my words.
“It’s okay, let me call Alarick and see if we can get someone to give you a ride. It’s okay, we’re not going to leave you until we know you’re home safe,” Briella says, hanging onto my hand.
Karen smiles and steps forward, putting her coat around me and Merleigh tells me she’s going to get me a bottle of water. I’m so embarrassed, I drop my head and close my eyes, trying to stop my head spinning. I know I’ll regret this in the morning, but there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it now. Right now I am trying to focus on not passing out on this floor.
I’ve never felt like this before, at least not that I can remember. I went from zero to a hundred and for whatever reason, I’m finding it hard to control myself. My world is spinning, and even though I’m working hard on keeping it together, with every passing second it’s getting worse and worse.
“Someone is coming,” Briella says, hanging up the phone. I didn’t even hear her make the call. “It’s going to be okay.”
“She didn’t get drugged, did she?” Karen asks, rubbing my back. I can barely feel her hand there, everything feels numb.
I feel like I just might vomit.
“I don’t ... I don’t think so. The waitress served us most of the drinks, we only got a few from the bar.”
“Were we dancing with drinks? Gosh, I can’t remember. I’m pretty drunk also, to be honest.”
“Me too,” Karen admits.
Merleigh returns a few minutes later with a bottle of water. Out of all three of us, she’s the most sober and calm. She hands it to me after unscrewing the cap. “Drink this super slowly, you don’t want to make yourself sick, honey.”
I drink the water but as soon as it hits my stomach it feels like it’s going to come back up. In fact, I’m wondering just how long I’m going to be able to hold the contents of my stomach in for.
We find a bench and the girls help me over to it, I stumble more than once and it feels like I’m getting worse and worse, not better. I sit down and drop my head between my legs and my world spins to the point I’m no longer sure if I’m standing or sitting. I can hear myself groan and the voices of Briella, Karen, and Merleigh fade in and out.
Then, out of nowhere, there is a familiar male voice.
It takes me a moment to pick it.
“What the fuck happened her?”
“We were just drinking and dancing. We walked outside and she just got sicker and sicker,” Briella explains.
“She drugged?”
“We’re not sure.”
“Hey, Zariah.”
A warm yet calloused hand slaps at my face a bit and then lifts my head. I see Kendric squatting in front of me. Oh, no. No way. Why, out of all the people who could have come, would it be him?
“You called Kendric?” I slur, trying to jerk my head away, but all it does is make me fall off the chair and right into his arms.
“She’s in a bad way, you’re certain she wasn’t drugged?”
“We’re not sure,” Karen tells him.
“I’ll take her home, you girls need to go, too.”
They do as he asks and with one quick motion, I’m in his arms. My whole world spins, and I grip his shirt in a pathetic attempt to stop it. I bury my face in his chest and groan, my stomach turning. Please god don’t let me vomit on this man. Please. I don’t think I can come back from something like that—I’m a cop, it’s so unclassy it’s not funny.
“Call us when you know she’s going to be okay,” Briella tells Kendric as he turns and starts walking away.
With every bounce, I feel like my stomach is going to explode and Kendric is going to wear it.
I hold my breath, trying to stop my world from spinning, trying to stop the vomit from rising up, but when Kendric reaches his truck and jerks a little as he opens the door, I know I can’t hold it back any longer. “I’m going to be sick!” I tell him frantically, squirming to get out of his arms.
He puts me down, and I barely get to my knees on the curb before vomit spews from my mouth. I’m horrified. Even with every disgusting retch, all I am thinking about is the fact that Kendric is watching me. He’s watching me, and he’s never going to unsee this. Why not give him another reason to hate me? To be disgusted in me?
When I’ve finally emptied the contents of my stomach to the point there isn’t a single thing left, I turn my head and look up at Kendric who has kneeled beside me and has my hair in a big bunch in his hand. He was holding my hair back? God, I didn’t even know he was that close. I close my eyes and murmur, “I’m so sorry.”
“C’mon, let’s get you home.”
He helps me up and into his truck, and then hands me the bottle of water Merleigh gave me. I take a small sip and press my cheek against the cold glass of the window as we drive. I fade in and out of consciousness, struggling to keep my eyes open. When we arrive home, I must be out, because suddenly Kendric is shaking me and trying to wake me from my sleep. “Hey, wake up.”
I groan and slap at h
is hand, but he shakes me again and then carefully pulls my arm until my face peels off the window and I’m sitting up straight. Then he gets out of the truck, goes around to my side, and helps me out. I’m still wobbly, still spinning and feeling a whole lot like my body has made something else for me to vomit up because my stomach is angrily turning once more.
This is the worst feeling I’ve ever had.
It doesn’t feel right.
It doesn’t feel like something I’ve experienced before.
After an embarrassing search through my bag, I find my keys and hand them to Kendric. He opens the door, flicks on the lights, and then walks me over to my couch where he grabs a pillow and lays me down. Then, he’s gone. He returns a minute later with a bucket, a towel, some water, and aspirin.
He’s making sure I’m going to be okay.
He can’t stand me, he could leave me here to choke on my own vomit, but instead he’s making sure I’m okay.
That takes a hell of a human.
But I already knew Kendric was a hell of a human because he gave his freedom to protect his club.
“You’ll vomit some more, but it’ll get better with every passing hour. Keep drinkin’ the water and don’t move, just stay here and sleep it off. You’re goin’ to feel like crap in the morning. I’ll sit by you until you fall asleep.”
I stare at him with hazy vision, my head feeling a little less spinny now that I’m lying on the pillow and not moving around. “Why did you help me?”
“I didn’t get much choice; I’m the only sober one. You know, waitin’ for a trial and all ...”
Ouch.
“I’m sorry, Kendric,” I murmur, closing my eyes. “I should have protected you.”
“Not goin’ to talk about it now while you’re drunk. Just get some sleep.”
A knock at the door has my eyes popping open. Who the hell would be here visiting me at this time of the night?
“Zariah, it’s me!”
Reece.
You’ve got to be kidding me. What the hell is Reece doing here, he’s supposed to be with Jayden for the weekend. Oh, god, I don’t want my son to see me like this. I don’t want him to think I’m hurt, or sick ...