“Congratulations, Mrs. Wheeland. We have accepted your story for our publication.”
Excitedly, I grabbed the paper from her hands, in the envelope was my very first check, for one hundred and sixty dollars. I was now a published and paid writer!
Later that night the whole family got together to celebrate. “Thank you, Cary, for believing in me and giving me the courage to believe in myself.” I raised a toast.
Early in our married life our huge, king-sized bed was chosen as our family meeting place. As a little girl, Ashley loved to climb on the bed and tickle Cary’s face while he pretended to be asleep then he would ROAR and scare her as she laughed with delight. When Tyler was a toddler, we’d wake up to the rumble of his footsteps running through the hallway. Throwing open the door he’d jump on the bed and scream, “Mommy, Daddy, I’m awake now!” But most memorable of all were the times in the evenings before we fell asleep, Cary and I were snuggled against our soft, comfy pillows, talking over the day’s events, when unexpectedly one of the children would come in. “Mom, Cary, can I talk to you about something?” Soon, one by one, we’d hear the pitter-patter of feet and the rest of the children would join us with Jeff sitting on the rocking chair, Kristy lying across the bed, Jeremy resting at the end, Ashley snuggled close to my side, and Tyler, with his head nestled against Cary’s arm. Our time consisted of laughing, hugging, tickling, and sometimes tears.
Often, we found ourselves comforting a hurting child. Holding her close as she cried over a lost boyfriend, or another might receive affirmation for a new job. Or perhaps one of our teenager’s cars had broken down and he needed a word of encouragement. Maybe one of our boys was excited about an upcoming prom date. We always urged our children to pursue their passions and often found ourselves teaching life lessons during times on our family bed. It was here where we reached out clasped one another’s hands and prayed together. “Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving.” Colossians 4:2
We were all on the family bed when Jeremy made a big announcement. “I have something to tell you, I’m twenty-one and it’s time I moved out.”
Soon after we helped him carry the last of his clothing to the car, we collapsed on our family bed in tears. “My baby’s moving out,” I cried as my husband reached over and patted my shoulder.
“Thankfully, he’s only moving ten minutes down the road. You know we’ll see him often,” reassured Cary.
“Mommy, why is Jeremy leaving?” Ashley asked, her eyes misting.
“I don’t want Jeremy to leave,” said Jeff, sniffling, trying to hold back his tears.
“I’m going to miss my big brother!” Kristy said as she reached for me, bawling. We listened as he started his car, finding comfort in one another once again, on our big, cozy bed.
Afterward Jeff said, “Mom, Cary, do you realize we all seem to end up on your bed?”
“Yea, it’s nice we all like hanging out here!” The other kids quipped.
“I hadn’t realized, but I guess it’s been designated as our special place,” I commented.
39
My Dad
“The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.” Psalm 145:9
One early morning in the fall of 2000, my phone began ringing off the hook. Cary had already left for work and I ran downstairs to answer it.
“Hello, this is Dan from the Montrose Coroner’s office. I found your number in Robert Griswold’s wallet. He was in a car accident.”
“Is he dead,” I screamed! My mind raced out of control. What was my brother doing in Montrose, Colorado? I couldn’t think straight; all I could do was cry as my thoughts turned to his wife, Mary and his son, Kyle. No, no, I can’t believe my brother Rob is dead!
“What are you talking about? What happened?” I cried.
“Robert Francis Griswold was in a car accident. I’m sorry, he didn’t make it,” the coroner calmly said in response to my frantic cry.
“Oh, you mean my father, not my brother!” I said with relief.
Immediately I dialed Rob’s number. “I just got a call and Daddy’s been killed in an automobile accident. Apparently, he was on his way to California and he stopped to get gas. Then he accidentally drove back up the on-coming ramp and hit a car head on, he died instantly. Luckily, the other driver only suffered a broken leg. One of dad’s dogs survived and the ambulance driver kept him. Daddy would have been pleased. I was so scared when the officer called me, he mentioned Robert and I thought he meant you,” I explained, still feeling shaken.
“It’s okay, Deb, calm down. I’m fine. I will call the coroner for more information. I love you.”
Quickly, I made arrangements to go out to Colorado after talking to my sister. “Monica, I always swore I would not go back for Dad’s funeral. I feel different now and I want to be there for you and our brothers. I know you and dad were close and I am so happy I was able to see him a few months ago when he came out to California.”
“I think he was confused with the medication he was taking. A few weeks ago, he had a feeling he wasn’t going to be around much longer and was heading back to California to say goodbye to his brothers and sisters. He must have forgotten he was just there. This was the best way for him to go, driving and being surrounded by his little dogs.” Monica mentioned. “I’m so glad Daddy accepted the Lord as his Savior four years ago. After his second wife died such a painful death from bone cancer, I think it helped him get right with the God. He used to watch Billy Graham all the time and he’d drink coffee and talk with a retired priest that lived in his neighborhood.”
“I have good memories of him the last few years too. I know he tried hard to do the right thing. I feel at peace knowing he is with the Lord, even though I don’t think he ever forgave himself for molesting us.”
“Yeah, I think you’re right,” Monica agreed.
There was a lot to do when I got to my sister’s house. We looked and looked and we finally found the right container for our dad’s ashes.
We picked out a unique, brown treasure chest. We dropped in the ashes of his favorite dog, Dobie, who had been dead for many years. Dad always said he wanted to be buried with Dobie. My sister made arrangements to have a service at her church. The people there had met our dad many times, because Monica had invited him to barbecues at the church. Since my dad was a real friendly man, everybody was fond of him.
We sent our dad off in style. His favorite music was Scottish bagpipes and we found a CD that played “Amazing Grace” with bagpipes. Dad would have loved it! We draped the American flag near his treasure chest that held his ashes and surrounded the tables with pictures of my dad, who had been a handsome man when he was younger.
Afterwards, my siblings and I gathered at a nearby restaurant and shared funny stories about our father. I could never have imagined that a man who had brought so much pain to his family would be loved at the end of his life. “All things are possible with God.” Mark 23:27
After I had returned home my sister went to our dad’s house to clean it up. While there she found pictures of each of his kids and grandkids above his bed and three World Vision children he had been sponsoring. Monica mentioned he had told her he prayed every night for his loved ones.
Although he never supported us while he was alive, unbeknownst to us, he had signed up for a life insurance plan just six months before he was killed. We each received sixteen thousand dollars apiece. It was like God saying, “Even though he didn’t take care of you in life, he did in death.” It seemed like it was a big cosmic joke and I liked the punch line!
Less than a month after my dad died, I was at a Women’s retreat. As the music played, the words became so real to me, “The nails in his hands, the nails in his feet they tell us how much he loves us…” With my eyes tightly shut, I envisioned Jesus; I saw his loving arms around my father. The two of them smiled down on me
as they watched from eternity. “It is finished!” Jesus said to me.
Through the vision, God was assuring me that my dad had finally accepted the forgiveness Jesus had offered him so long ago. Gone was the self-hatred and guilt my father had always hung onto. Dad was finally at peace! I felt so strongly God would give me many opportunities to share with victims of abuse that forgiveness and restoration are accessible to all people who carry around shameful secrets and scars. ‘Victory from our past’ became my motto. I know because I was living it.
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another; just as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32
40
Romance
“My lover spoke and said to me, “Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me.” Song of Songs 2:10
I had been attending a Bible study and Wednesday would be my last day before the summer break. Afterwards, we gals would enjoy a luncheon at our leader’s house. I was in charge of bringing the guacamole and chips. Tuesday night Cary and I slipped off to the grocery store and I picked out six, fat, ripe avocados. My mouth was already watering thinking about my lunch the next day.
Early the morning of the Bible study Cary asked me to accompany him to the airport to take Kristy to Oregon to visit a friend for a week. “I promise we’ll be back in time for you to get to your study,” Cary said confidently.
After a quick shower, I slipped on my shoes and out the door we went. Arriving at the airport we dropped off Kristy. Cary said, “Would you mind if I pick up a ticket for my trip to Denver next week, since we’re already here? It’s just easier to get it now.”
While standing in front of the electronic ticket machine, Cary pushed a few buttons and turned to me. He handed me an envelope with the words, OPEN IMMEDIATELY written on it.
Ripping it apart, I read, “Aloha! You are not going back home today. We are flying to Maui for a week. Sit back, relax, and enjoy. I love you Darlin.”
Jumping up and down, I screamed, “What? I can’t believe this. Are we on Candid Camera? Is this a joke? You’re kidding, right? What about the kids? Cary, you sure are amazing!”
“All the kids were in on the surprise, except Tyler, and Ashley is waking him right now to get him ready for school.”
“Here, listen to this recording,” and he handed me his phone.
“Mom, this is Jeremy. Have a great time. You deserve it.”
“Mom, this is Kristy, I’m so happy for you. I called your Bible study leader and she knows all about it. Go and have fun.”
“Don’t worry about Tyler, we will all take care of him. Go and have a great time. You and Cary deserve this,” remarked Ashley.
“Mom you have an awesome husband and you are amazing, I’m so excited for you. Don’t worry about a thing. Go and have fun,” Jeff said.
I was speechless as tears fell down my face. Finally, I found words. “How long have you been planning this? I can’t believe it!” I reached over and hugged my wonderful Prince Charming, affectionately. “But what about my clothes?”
“Kristy packed you a bag and put it in my trunk last night while you and I were out buying those mouth-watering avocados,” Cary laughed. “We have about three hours to kill before we fly. Let’s go move the car to long-term parking and call Tyler. He should know by now, and he’s not going to be happy!”
“Mommy, I want to go to Hawaii, too,” Tyler cried! “Why didn’t anyone tell me? I can keep a secret.”
“Next time Dad does something crazy like this, I promise he will keep you in the loop,” I said, reassuring my ten-year old. “I will miss you. Have fun with your brother and sister. Be good! We love you and we’ll call every day.”
“How long have they known?” I asked Cary, as I thought back on our recent conversations.
“It’s been in the works for a few weeks. Maybe a month.”
“Wow, I’m shocked! I had no idea any of this was going on right under my nose. Luckily, I showered before I left the house. I was almost going to run out without my bra on. I’m glad I changed my mind at the last minute,” I chuckled. “Now it makes sense why you didn’t let me bring my puppy to accompany us on the ride to the airport.”
Snuggling close to him during the five-hour flight, I thanked God for the gift of my husband, my Prince Charming. This was a dream come true. I had never been to Hawaii. Although Cary had been there numerous times before we were married. It had become a running joke in our house. You took all your girlfriends to Hawaii, but you’ve never taken your wife. I was sure glad he decided it was time to take me.
“Darling, I am so excited to be here with the woman of my dreams for a romantic island getaway,” Cary stated, as we rented a jeep for our five-day second honeymoon.
We went exploring, swimming, and snorkeling. We took numerous walks and went four-wheeling in the jeep. Getting up early one morning we watched the colorful sunrise at Haleakala volcano and enjoyed delicious dinners throughout the week. Lying on our lawn chairs while we watched the waves splash on the sand was relaxing. Looking into each other’s eyes and professing our undying love for one another filled our hearts with romance. Soon it was over, our time on the island ended too quickly.
“I can’t believe you did this for me. It wasn’t even my birthday or our anniversary. In fact, it’s close to your birthday,” I said as we shared our last meal in Maui.
“I love doing things for you. This is what it’s all about,” Cary said as he reached over and kissed me.
“I have never known anyone so generous in my life. You make me very happy, and I am so grateful to be your wife.”
Fortunately, within a few years, we were able to take all of our kids back with us to the scenic Hawaiian Islands. We had dreamed about sharing it with them for a long time.
In the spring of 2002, we were able to achieve a dream of Cary’s to take me to Europe. Happily, two of the kids, Kristy and Tyler, traveled with us. Kristy and Cary enjoyed sipping steamy, hot cappuccinos at a riverfront patio on the banks of the Seine River in France. We hopped on a boat on the river Seine which flowed right through the heart of Paris, it was magical. The four of us toured the Queen’s Palace in Windsor, England. Tyler begged to sit in the front seat of the gondola as we paddled the canals of Venice. Tyler had traveled with his skateboard, pads, and helmet and to his delight we found a skate park in London. Finally, we met up with friends in beautiful, picturesque Lake Geneva, Switzerland where we rode on an over-sized, 100-year-old barge wearing evening gowns, suits, and ties in our bare feet!
Soon it was time for us to head back to California where the rest of our children eagerly anticipated our arrival ready to hear about our trip through photos and videos.
41
My Heart’s Desire
“Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
After returning from our trip, I was fortunate enough to buy a horse. It had always been my heart’s desire. I had never given up on my love for horses. Years earlier, before Tyler was born, Cary had taken the kids and me to Pismo Beach, which was about a four-hour drive from our home. “Deb, I’ve arranged for us all to ride horses on the beach. We are supposed to meet at l:00 pm. are you okay with that?”
“Are you kidding me? I’m better than okay with that. You’ve never forgotten my dream of galloping a horse on the beach. Wow! Thank you so much.”
I had recently met a new friend named Janice, who had two horses. She invited me to ride while our kids were in school. I loved getting back in the saddle again after many years of not riding. It had awakened a renewed interest in me wanting my own horse.
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“Debbie,” Janice said one day. “Do you want to go to the horse auction this weekend just to look at the horses?”
“I would love to.”
Finally, Saturday came. As we walked through the horse stables, there stood before me a proud, massive white and brown majestic-looking horse. Right away I called him Prince. “Look, there’s the horse of my dreams. Of course, I don’t have any intention of buying him,” I told my friend. “Although, Cary did just receive a bonus,” I giggled.
The auction began and out pranced several horses. Since Prince’s stall was listed as number 35 I thought he would come in last. Without warning, Prince galloped out with a rider in the saddle. The rider turned him one way, then the other showing him off.
“Debbie, bid on him,” teased my friend.
Impulsively, I raised my number. Everything happened so fast!
“SOLD to number 16!”
“What have I just done? Did I just buy a horse?” I screamed.
Reaching into my purse I dialed Cary’s number on my cell phone. “Is it okay if I buy a horse?”
“Sure, just use your best judgment and don’t spend too much.”
“Well,” I screamed excitedly. “I just bought one!”
The last thing I heard before he hung up was the sound of roaring laughter. His trademark!
The next morning, we borrowed my friend’s horse trailer. Heading back to the auction I could hardly contain my enthusiasm, I was so excited to pick up my prized possession. As we led Prince into the stable in Janice’s neighborhood, I kept repeating over and over, “I have a horse. I have my very own horse.” All I could think about was climbing on his back.
Later that day Janice called her friend who was a trainer. “Jessica, can you help out? Deb just bought a horse from the auction, we thought he was broken but he pranced around and got a scared look in his eyes when I tried to get on his back.”
Something About Those Eyes Page 31