Jaxson

by Roxanne Greening

  The door opened saving me from my thoughts. Sarah’s laugher had her face lighting up. It hurt to see how beautiful she was this glow from the pregnancy only adding more to the pain.

  “Jaxson.”

  Her whispered words had everything in me stilling. She thought she could run from me? Take our child and disappear?

  “Sarah.”

  I wanted to say more I wanted to demand answers. I wasn’t used to having to fight for what I wanted. Jason appeared behind her and I snapped.

  Gently pushing past her I grabbed him by the throat. My gun was in my left hand. The heavy weight a stark reminder of what this was used for.

  “How fucking dare, you! What the fuck gave you the right to take her?”

  “The moment you decided to fuck her and marry Alisa.”

  My fingers tightened slightly, and I could see my brother’s lips turn a whiter shade. He was trying to cover up the discomfort he was in the slight fear he was feeling.

  “What the fuck Jason. You’re my brother…”

  “Don’t you think I fucking know that? I’m doing this to save her and you. Do you honestly think you can watch her wither the light inside her die as she watches you with her?”

  The pain in his voice had nothing to do with the pressure I had on his throat. It went deeper than that. If I wasn’t so focused on Sarah I would force him to tell me everything.

  “You think I want this?”

  His eyes spoke volumes a small part of him did.

  “Jaxson please let him go.”

  Her voice was full of sorrow and it broke a little piece of my heart. All the warmth I felt at seeing her again slowly turned cold.

  Releasing my brother, I turn to Sarah.

  “Why did you run?”

  What I wanted to ask was why she left me.

  “You know why I left.”

  I did, but I needed to hear it anyway. I was begging for this self-punishment.

  “Tell me.”

  “You’re marrying another woman Jaxson. How could you ask me to stay and watch you love her? Watch you have a family…”

  “Sarah...”

  “Would you want to watch me do the same? Watch me wed another? Have children with him?”

  I felt something sink deep inside me it felt like I swallowed a stone. Like something in me withered and died. The thought of another man touching her…

  “So, Jason my own brother was going to be that man?”

  “What the fuck is wrong with you Jaxson? Do you not see the big picture? Your brother is trying to save us both. Are you so blinded by your own shit to not see his?”

  All the shit she said she still didn’t answer my question.

  “Jaxson.”

  Turning I look at my brother a man I trusted.

  “How the fuck could you do this to me?”

  “Do this to you? Saving her? I have to watch every day as you kill a little more of me. I was never staying here.”

  If my head wasn’t so far up my own ass I would have asked what the fuck he was talking about. But I did have my head crammed up my ass.

  The ringing of my phone only added to the fucked-up atmosphere surrounding us. The air seemed to become thicker and harder to inhale.

  I knew who was calling and so did Sarah. I watched as her eyes filled with tears she didn’t want to let spill over. She didn’t want to show weakness and that was one of the qualities that made her perfect to be a don’s wife.

  “Aren’t you going to answer? We both know who it is.”

  Her back was turned to me now as she spoke, and it felt like she was shutting me out. Slowly I was losing her. Pulling the phone from my pocket I look at the screen.

  She was right, it was Alisa. Not answering it would be a mistake and I knew that.

  “Alisa?”

  I watch as Sarah’s back stiffens at her name.

  “Where are you? You were supposed to be here thirty minutes ago!”

  “Where?”

  “Cake tasting Jaxson!”

  Fuck, I didn’t want to taste cakes I wanted to hold Sarah and stop the pain I could see pulsing off of her. Removing the phone from my ear I hang up.

  I was killing one of the only things I loved in this world.

  Chapter 16

  Sarah

  He found me, and it only took him three days to do it. My heart leapt in my chest the moment my eyes connected with his. It wanted me to jump into his arms and beg him to make the pain I felt go away.

  But I couldn’t, and I wouldn’t. He wasn’t mine. Never was. It hurt to hear him talk to her to be present as he listened to her voice. My heart was crumbling and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

  I wanted to feel nothing, but the pregnancy was messing with my emotions. It would be so much easier to pretend it didn’t hurt that what was happening wasn’t tearing the very heart from my chest.

  “Darlin I’m so fucking sorry.”

  I hear the words, but they're empty. They mean nothing if he keeps doing it. I couldn’t say those words without opening a door I didn’t want to walk through.

  So, I nod my head and pretend to accept his empty hollow words.

  “Sarah baby please look at me.”

  Why? Why would I want to look at him it would only hurt more?

  “Leave her the fuck alone haven’t you done enough?”

  Jason my ever-rising hero. I couldn’t save him and, yet he has made it his mission to save me.

  “Fucking shut up Jason.”

  “You need to leave Jaxson walk the fuck away from her and let it go.”

  My feet shuffle slightly I wanted to run from the room. All this alpha male posturing was draining the energy from my body. I was weak where Jaxson was concerned.

  I wanted to beg him to stay to hold me and love me. To give it all up and start over where no one would find us. I wanted him to choose me over her.

  Why couldn’t he love me like I loved him? He uttered those words once, but they mean nothing when he still goes to her.

  “Goodbye Jaxson.”

  I was saying those words with an air of finality. It almost had me doubling over in pain. It was like a physical hit. My soul shrunk slightly.

  “Please Sarah come with me. Don’t throw away all we had.”

  “Those memories your remembering? That relationship that I foolishly thought we had is over. One lie changed everything. I’m sorry Jaxson, but the hurt can only go so deep before it hits bone.”

  For the first time I felt lighter. I finally said the words that were eating away at my insides.

  Chapter 17

  Sarah

  I don’t bother looking at him as I turn and walk away from the one person in this world I would do anything for. The one person who was meant to be solely mine.

  Leaving my heart on the floor available for anyone to stomp on. It’s not like it could hurt any more than it already does. It would have hurt less if Jaxson just ripped it from my chest and showed me it still beat even if I wished sometimes it would cease to do so.

  The room was dark just the way I felt. Even the chill in the air wasn’t so bad. It was a representation of my mood. There was only one thing about this that seemed off.

  Why was it cold in here? The heat was on and the rest of the house was warm, so why was my room so cold. Looking at the door that led to the balcony.

  The place I call a solace even if it was a small fenced in area barley big enough to hold a chaise lounge. The door was open, and I know I closed it.

  Walking towards the door, I contemplate yelling for Jason, but it was possible Jaxson was still here. I couldn’t face him yet again so soon.

  Mentally and physically I couldn’t handle being in the same room.

  “Scream and I will put a bullet in that pretty little tummy of yours.”

  The voice was dark and cold. I knew he would do it. I had a feeling this man killed for a living. But what did he want from me?

  Was he after Beau? Was I leverage against my brother
? Something sharp pierced my arm and the world blurred around me.

  I regretted not yelling, I regretted not turning and walking away from this room the moment I noticed it was off. I regret so many things.

  The darkness tugged at me. Fighting the need to close my eyes, I focus on the man who was now eye level with me. It took a precious second to realize he was holding my limp body.

  My throat turned dry as I took in his suit. I know what this means he’s mafia this was either about my brother turning his back on the carters or it was Alisa showing she had a bigger advantage here.

  She already had him so why would she want me? And how did he know about the baby? There had to be a leak in one of our families.

  The very thought someone would turn on us had this hard feeling settling in my stomach. I felt like I ate a peach pit. Just swallowed it whole.

  “Help….”

  I try to scream but the darkness sucked me in and I wasn’t sure the words ever passed my lips and made it to the open air around us.

  Even though I was being taken I felt relief for the first time in months. I was free of it all this of all this heartache this cold, dark place was holding me in its arms comforting me and trying to give me peace.

  Chapter 18

  Alisa

  It was bad enough I had to go through with this degrading arranged marriage. I was bartered and sold like a cow. Now the one who was going to own me wanted another.

  Was sleeping with another and wasn’t bothering to hide it. He knocked her up. She was carrying the child that may run the carter family someday.

  That was supposed to be my child it was the only thing I was getting out of this sacrifice. I had to watch as the man I fell in love with watches us.

  He would have a front row view to almost everything. I remember the first day I met Jason. I stumbled and tripped over my own feet and I vowed to marry him someday.

  My eight-year-old heart sunk to my feet and then back to its rightful place. It hurt to know he was also rushing to her aid to the woman sleeping with my future husband.

  I didn’t hate Jaxson, but I didn’t love him either, but I would be damned if I sat back and let him destroy my reputation. He was taking everything else from me, but I wouldn’t let him take this.

  It was the one thing I had control over. There was only one thing to do.

  “Daddy?”

  I look at my father sitting behind his desk. I could tell he was busy pouring over something important, but this was also important, and it couldn’t wait.

  The thought I could lose my resolve to see this through kept me from turning and walking away.

  “Jaxson has a mistress.”

  “Sweetheart, I told you. That is a fact of this life one you will need to deal with.”

  “And the baby?”

  I was a vicious person. The self-loathing kicked in immediately. How could I do this? This wasn’t like me, I wasn’t this person. I was letting my pride talk. I was letting the hurt Jason dealt me consume me.

  I couldn’t take the words back once they left my lips and connected with the air around us it was over she was over. He would never let her give birth.

  “Leave.”

  I wanted to tell him I lied and made it all up that I was a foolish woman and that I couldn’t live with a man stepping out on me. But I was weak and instead I walked out of the room.

  Rushing to my room, I contemplate how to fix this. Who can I call? How do I stop what I already set in motion? Time passed faster than I thought it would and I was still debating whether he would forgive me.

  Taking a deep breath, I dial the only person in this world I would do anything for.

  “Jason?”

  “Alisa? Everything okay?”

  “I did something very stupid.”

  The pause on the other end told me he was putting it together and quickly he was the only person who really knew me.

  “Fuck! Please baby tell me you didn’t.”

  Tears sprung to my eyes as the endearment reached my ear.

  “I’m so sorry Jason.”

  “It’s okay, she’s here and so are we.”

  No, it wasn’t because it was already too late.

  “Fuck!”

  I knew he found her missing and I had no idea where my father would take her.

  “Where is she Alisa?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Tears clogged my throat, making it hard to breathe. The line went dead and something in me crumbled. I think I just lost him.

  Jason may never forgive me. I wasn’t so sure I could ever forgive myself. I was a selfish person. I did it, I said those words because I couldn’t have who I wanted so why should Jaxson?

  Chapter 19

  Jaxson

  I was going to go to war. There was no other way to put it. Walking into the empty room the room Sarah was just in had a hole forming in my center.

  It was like someone shot me with a canon. Turning I look to my brother. He came up here while he was on the phone. He ran up the stairs like he knew what had happened.

  “Where the fuck is she?”

  His eyes scanned the room and I knew he was trying to avoid answering that question. It was too late to save whoever did this I was going to kill them.

  “Jason.”

  “It was the Emilio’s”

  Alisa’s family? That fucking bitch! I knew she wanted to keep her pristine reputation, but this crossed a line I wasn’t sure she could come back from.

  “Alisa?”

  His lack of response was enough. She told her father and he sent one of his men.

  “How did she know about this place when I had no fucking idea it even existed?”

  “This place was for her. For us.”

  For the first time I focused on my brother. This was his problem? I was marrying her?

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I’m not head of the family you are. Being born ten minutes before me made her yours.”

  Did he think I wouldn’t bend the fucking rules? When those ruled were made, it was before twins were ever in the position we are.

  Up until we were born it was unheard of for twins to be born to the head of the family. He was a loophole.

  “It would have changed everything.”

  His eyes settled on mine. Looking into his eyes the man who looked just like me the one I thought would always have my back and did up until now.

  We have never before been at odds. Sarah changed that. Alisa changed that.

  “It doesn’t matter now. She signed her contract the moment she opened her mouth.”

  I know he was right, but that didn’t make this any easier. This all could have been avoided.

  “You should have come to me. We’re brothers, I’ve always had your back Jason.”

  Without looking away, he accepted what I said, and he knew I was right. Sarah would be safe, and Alisa would have been his. I had a feeling he wasn’t going to let go of her that easy I know I wouldn’t.

  I would defy everyone to save her. She was mine and has been since we were kids. Fuck she was born to complete me. She was the queen to my king.

  “We need to find her and then we will deal with Alisa.”

  Anger darkened my brother’s eyes and I knew we were once again at odds.

  Chapter 20

  Sarah

  I was tied to a chair. My blood colored the rope as it shafted and dug into my wrists.

  “So, this is what all the fuss was about.”

  Looking into the eyes of the man who loomed over me like some sort of avenging angel. His smooth face and long, slim body were average.

  He didn’t look like an angel and if this was what they looked like I want my money back. I wanted to laugh at my own thoughts and I couldn’t stop the smile as it twitched on my lips.

  “You think this is funny? I have you tied to a chair sweetheart and completely at my mercy.”

  He was right, but that wasn’t going to change the fact he was ugl
y and honestly nothing about him stood out he was really plain. Brown hair threaded with gray cut close to his head and slicked back like a gangster from the old movies. Brown eyes the color of mud.

  Nothing about this man stood out, he was unremarkable and if I was asked to look at a lineup of men similar to him even if he was in it I wouldn’t be able to pick him.

  “You are a beautiful little thing.”

  His fingers caress my cheek and I fight the urge to gag. Instead of puking all over his black leather shoes I snap my teeth at his finger.

  The thought of his flesh in my mouth once again had bile trying to escape.

  “I think I may keep you.”

  Oh god. I thought he would torture me demand my brother’s location or something along those lines, but instead he wanted to keep me.

  The things that, that implied had my body wanting to cave in on itself. My skin crawled at the thought of his body touching mine in any way.

  “Never. I will never be yours.”

  His laughter was cold and empty. For a moment I thought of all the monsters I dreamed about as a kid. He reminded me of the one I feared the most the monsters under the bed.

  The one who lived in the shadows and wanted to skin me and eat me alive. And in a way, he wanted to do just that.

  “Oh, Sarah, you really don’t have a choice in the matter.”

  I couldn’t stand to look at him anymore. Scanning the room, I look for any sign of where I was and how I could escape. The room was dark and if not for the light overhead I wouldn’t see anything.

  The walls and floor were concrete there were no photos and no paintings on the wall. Windows were none existent and there was only one door.

  “Oh, how clever of you. I promise you there is no place to go.”

  He was right. But I couldn’t, and I wouldn’t except that. I wasn’t going to rot here.

  “My brother will find me.”

  “Oh, Sarah he will never find you.”

  “I need an air and my daughter just won’t do. Jaxson already has an empire.”