Iris

by Nick Whitesides

  “Nor do you know what I’ve been through, Krys. I may not understand the exact sufferings you’ve endured. I may not know what goes on inside the walls of that Sphere, But what I do understand… is pain. Pain is universal. Pain is what connects us to each other, even in a hellhole like this. It’s the one thing we all have in common. Believe me, Krys, I’ve learned a thing or two about pain in my lifetime. Pain and fear can twist your mind if you let them. They can unravel you to the very center until you don’t know who you are anymore. I almost let that happen to me a long time ago.” As he speaks, the lines on his face deepen from a sad expression. He appears both broken yet undeterred.

  Existing still even in these awful conditions and has been doing so for sixty years. “Now, Krys, you might say that your city in the Sphere is worse than mine. I’m not one to argue, but I have seen things that would make your blood turn piss yellow with fear.” Even while making a serious point, Eli’s sense of humor adds some much needed levity. “I have witnessed so many things I wish I could forget, and I have forgotten so much good that I wish I could remember.”

  Fixated, I absorb his words like a sponge. I want to believe him. His gaze becomes steely “I know you don’t trust me yet. And that’s understandable. This place has that kind of effect on people. In time, you’ll learn.” Eli pulls out a round brown container. “Here, wash your grief down with this.” My eyes narrow with hesitance. He takes a sip then says, “It’s just water. Don’t worry.”

  Reluctantly I accept, gulping down the much needed drink. I pour some on my head after to cool off, then hand it back.

  “How’s it taste?”

  “Surprisingly good, actually.”

  He laughs and pats me on the back. His laughter is contagious, persuading me to chuckle.

  He takes another sip and holds out the container. “This water is purified; very hard to come by. Most people just drink filtered water from the rivers and streams but it’s not enough.”

  I think back on the disgusting creek I crossed after leaving the Sphere. “The water was the first thing to go once the bombs hit. Or so I’m told. The problem with radiation is that it infects the drinking water. So naturally, everyone that drank it. . . died.” He hands it back to me. I shake my head, trying to be polite.

  “Over time, filtering the water took out some of the radiation, but not all of it. If you drank a whole gallon of filtered water, you’d be sicker than a germ. Eventually people got used to it, had to adapt. You don’t live long without water, though I still wouldn’t recommend it.”

  Curiously I ask “Why?”

  “Because, radiation poison is still poison. And just cause you’re used to it doesn’t mean it won’t kill you. It just takes longer. Years maybe, but it still eats away at you.”

  He finishes the liquid in the container and puts the lid back on.

  “Why do you look at me like that?”

  I realize that I’m staring. Without a good answer, I shrug my shoulders and say “It’s strange. I’ve never been able to talk to someone like this before. To ask questions, talking just to talk. It’s hard to explain.”

  Placing one hand on the floor, Eli pushes himself up and holds out the other. “Try me.”

  I let him pull me up to my feet, his ever present smile dispelling any lingering mistrust. “How have you survived out here for so long?”

  He places his sash over his face and pulls the hood over his head “Let me show you.” I can tell he’s smiling even through the mask. We descend the tattered stairs of the rickety building. Its walls are cracked and worn but clean compared to the courthouse.

  “Do you live here?” I ask.

  Eli turns his head from in front of me “Sort of. I’ve been using a lot of buildings as safe houses over the years. If I’m in a tight spot, I just stop by one of them and wait for things to cool down.” At the bottom of the stairs is a narrow hallway.

  Treading lightly, we arrive at the hallways end to a battered red door. “Now Krys, I need you to listen close because I’m only going to say this once.”

  I nod my head. “I’m listening.”

  He pulls down the sash. “This world is ruled by two things: blood and death. If you want to survive it, you must do everything I say exactly when I say it. Because if you don’t… you will die.” The seriousness in his voice makes me nervous. “Alright?”

  I nod again in compliance.

  “Good.” He replaces the sash as he peers out to the city streets.

  “What do you see?” I ask hesitantly.

  He holds up his hand as if to say “Just wait.” A few second pass and he gestures me to follow. I poke my head into a dark alleyway filled with rubble and garbage. I try to slip through the opening but accidentally bang my foot as the door closes. Eli turns to me wide eyed.

  “Sorry,” I whisper. He shakes his head and hushes me with his finger. I guess we’re not going to be talking outside.

  The sun offers some light behind the clouds as we crouch down and move to the end of the alley. Within just a few short steps, I see a trail of dried blood soaking into the pavement. Another shot of guilt pricks at me.

  I could have stopped it. The alley narrows as we inch closer to the decaying streets. The fabric of the Kevlar shirt clings to the brick walls. I slow down to avoid the sound of scraping. We stand up and turn our bodies sideways to pass through the slanted opening.

  Eli stops and holds up his hand in the shape of a fist and we wait. The tense silence encompasses my breathing as crude laughter and irreverent hollering come nearer. Blooders. I look to Eli, not knowing what we should do. He picks up a nearby piece of concrete, winds up his arm, and tosses it far to the left, down another street.

  “I heard something!” squawks one of them and immediately they charge to find the source of the racket. The moment they turn the corner, Eli shoots off out the opening and dashes into the direction opposite the Blooders.

  I hesitate only for a millisecond before doing the same and catch up to him. It takes us almost an hour of ducking and dodging until we get to the outskirt of the city.

  Eli stands from a bent position to catch his breath. “I think we’re far enough away now.” He takes off his sash and hood. It’s so hot! If only I hadn’t left my pack with Fash in the courthouse.

  As if reading my mind, Eli hands me his canteen. “Don’t worry, I’ve still got some food at home.”

  “Home? Like your living quarters?”

  He nods. “Sure.”

  I take a drink. “Where is ‘home’ exactly, Eli?”

  “Oh, about five miles outside the city. It’s not a far walk so if we hurry, we should get there in a few hours. We’ll need to keep away from the main freeway since Blooders patrol there pretty often. Plus I don’t like being out in the open.”

  I return his canteen. “What’s it like?”

  “New houses were being constructed during the war but were never finished. It used to be a wooded area, I guess they cleared it out but the neighborhood is secluded.”

  We ascend an inclined hill, wheezes following after my questions.

  “Where do you get your food from?”

  “I grow it myself. I’ve been growing crops and wheat ever since I was a boy. Had to learn how, or else you don’t survive long.”

  I glance back at the dreary buildings of the downtown area, monuments to a nameless megaplex. Leaving another city behind. Ironic I guess.

  An hour passes. We stop to rest for a few minutes, mainly because of me, then continue on. I tell Eli some things about the Sphere to pass the time.

  “What’s it called again?” he asks me as we cross over two metal tracks on top of thick planks of wood.

  “Pura. It means Pure.”

  He looks back and down at my arm. “So what’s that thing?”

  I hide my BAND behind my back. “A reminder,” I say sheepishly, still not ready to dive that deep.

  “I see.” Eli takes off his Jacket and puts it into his worn out pack. Then, he stretc
hes his arms. “That’s better, I was roasting inside this thing.”

  A low rumble emanates from the clouds above us. Without looking up Eli picks up his pace.

  I match his speed while asking, “So, where were you born? Who birthed you?”

  He snickers, “Who birthed me?” He shakes his head smiling.

  “I was born in the city. In what used to be a hospital. During those times folks tried to rebuild, restart society, but it didn’t last. My parents or those who birthed me—” he says jokingly, “—they were very intuitive. Knew how to survive not just by filtering water, but by purifying it. Then they taught others how to and started farming and irrigation. My father, that word means—”

  “—I know what it means,” I snap back, his upbeat demeanor unaffected by my callousness.

  “—he was a medical man. Spent his time healing others and my mother…” He stops walking. “She was a preacher. Always going on about the last days and a better world after this one.”

  He swallows hard, blinking a few times, then clears his throat. “To tell you the truth I don’t think it would take much to make any world better than ours”

  “Eli, you said your ‘mother’ was a preacher? What is that?”

  Just as I finish asking my question, my feet trip over a log and I hit the ground face first.

  “Careful now, Krys, that ground comes out of nowhere sometimes!” he laughs. It’s hard to be mad at him when he seems so genuinely happy.

  Annoyed by the pain I punch the hardened dirt and stand up. “Yeah but the ground doesn’t know that I hit back just as hard.”

  “That’s good! That’s a good one, Krys.” He exclaims as we laugh together. Laughter reminds me of Maxis. If only he could see me now, laughing.

  Eli seems to naturally radiate authenticity. I feel drawn to him in spite of my instinct to mistrust. “So what happened to the hospital?” I ask once we come to ourselves.

  He doesn’t say anything.

  “What happened to the other people?”

  He points his finger and says, “You know, I was pretty taken by this girl who used to help at that shack of a hospital. Her name was Andy.” His radiance only increases when mentioning her name. “That girl could make any man’s heart stop. We met when I was fourteen, she was thirteen. But I knew, the moment I laid eyes on her…”

  Lightning strikes in the distance. Eli looks up.

  “What?” I ask earnestly. The clouds have turned pitch black.

  “We need to get out of the way!” He begins running at a full sprint.

  “What? What’s happening? I don’t understand.” I try to keep up with him. He’s so fast. It’s amazing he can move like this at his age. “Eli!” I yell.

  “Krys, we have to get out of the storm’s path!”

  We run and run for what feels like hours, my legs starting to give in. “I can’t keep this up!” I plead, having depleted most of my strength.

  “We’re almost there!” he shouts back. Cresting over a hill, a group of five houses stand in a half circle of road. I hear the lightning getting closer as the thunderclaps boom just seconds after the blinding flash.

  Of the five houses, only one has a finished roof. The others are either collapsed or only partially built.

  Sprinting harder than I ever have, we head for the house with a roof. A bolt strikes the broken down residence farthest from us.

  It catches fire instantly, wood spraying across the pavement while smoke bellows from inside, the flames crackling. “Come on, Krys!” Eli shouts.

  We’re only a few feet away from the door now. Without hesitation, Eli slams his foot against the door, nearly breaking it off the entryway. We rush in, he slams the door shut and bolts it with a lock. We made it!

  My legs give way, ready to greet the floor as I catch my breath. Eli pants too while I wipe my brow and fling the moisture. “What was that all about?” My body fights a cramp in my side from running. “That lightning was brutal. We could have been killed!”

  He walks to the back of the house, leaving his pack in front of the staircase by the entryway. “We weren’t running from the lightning. We were out-running the rain.” He states from out of view.

  “The rain?” I reply, confused.

  “Yes, there’s still radiation in the earth and the water remember? If that rain touched us, we would both be dead in less than a week. Then again, not all the water is irradiated, but I don’t want to take the chance.”

  “Are you kidding me?” I scoff. What kind of place is this? Is there no end to the absurdity? If it’s not a mob of blood thirsty thugs, it’s murderers that roam around at night, or lightning storms that shower radioactive water!

  My face feels hot as the rage builds in me as if I’m going to burst. I punch the door as hard as I can, leaving a dent with traces of blood. It makes a loud “crack” as my knuckles connect with the sturdy wood.

  “Don’t break the door. It’s gonna be hard to replace if you do,” Eli returns with a plateful of food in his hands. He holds it over a small two-person table with tarnished wooden chairs.

  My mouth waters, the hunger taking over as the aroma hits my nose. Two pieces of flat bread, apples, cherries, corn, grapes, and strawberries.

  I tear the plate right out of Eli’s hand, sit at the table and gnaw away.

  Sounding amused, Eli says “That’s right, I forgot you haven’t eaten for almost a day now.”

  “Thish es reaaly gud!” I reply, my mouth full to the brim with food. The flavors explode on my tongue.

  I let out large sighs of relief with each bite. The bread is excellent, a little dry and tough to chew but delicious nonetheless. The apples are juicy and the grapes tangy. But it’s the strawberries that really make the dish. Sweet, succulent and plump. Much better than anything I’ve ever grown in the fields.

  Some of the meal lodges in my throat from swallowing too quickly. I pound on my chest to help it go down. Eli hands me his canteen. I chug the water until it’s gone, clearing away my obstruction.

  With an plate empty and a full stomach, I let out a big ahh; relishing in the pleasure that good food brings.

  “How do you feel now, son?” Eli asks. I close my eyes and lay my head back.

  “So much better.”

  “Excellent. A good night’s sleep and some decent food can do wonders for your soul. It’s the little things that keep us going.”

  I nod in agreement, licking the juice off my fingers. “Thank you, Eli.” I hand him back his canteen.

  With a light chuckle he replies “My pleasure. Oh and don’t worry about the other house. The rain will extinguish the fire.” He takes a flint from his pocket and opens a rectangular glass pillar on the table.

  I was so hungry I hadn’t noticed it while I ate. He strikes the flint with his knife and sends sparks into the container. “This is a lantern. It’s gonna get dark soon so you’ll need this.” He points up the stairs. “The first door on the left is your room. Mine is down the hall to the right. You have your own bathroom so there’s no need to use mine. We’ll rest tonight and tomorrow, then I’m gonna teach you how to farm.”

  My defiant spirit concedes and I take the lantern without saying a word. The wood of the staircase shifts from each step. This might collapse underneath me!

  Half way up, I hear Eli say, “I’ll be up in a minute. I just need to sort out a few things.”

  I climb the remaining steps and turn the knob to my room. It isn’t very big, but it’s clean. There’s a bed to my right as I walk in, a dresser with a mirror on the left and a closet standing against the very back wall. I place the lantern on the dresser and lay myself on the mattress. Not softest thing I’ve ever slept on but it’ll do.

  There’s a window next to the closet. The sky is darker than it was a few minutes ago. White light flashes brilliantly before disappearing. I’ve never seen real lightning before today. I watch one of the bolts strike a few miles away.

  The rain pitter-patters down, leaving drops on the win
dow until it pours. Entranced by the storm’s strange beauty, a feeling of peace falls over me like blanket. The lightning dances back and forth as it hits the ground, leaving a booming crash, equal to that of my swelling heart, in its wake.

  The door creaks open, unable to pry me away from the stunning display of nature’s power. “Have you ever seen anything like it?” I ask bewildered.

  “Oh yes, I have. . . many times. I’m sure I don’t appreciate it like you though.”

  I turn around. “You never answered my question. What happened to the people that tried to rebuild?”

  This catches him off guard. Unprepared to give an answer, he stammers and frowns until eventually, he pats me on the shoulder and says, “All in due time. For now, we rest. I’ll wake you up at eight o’clock sharp. Don’t go to bed late.” The knob jiggles as he closes the door behind him, allowing me to return to the heavenly spectacle.

  Fatigue begins to set in. I comply with my body’s nagging request, blowing out the lantern and sinking myself into the mattress; exhausted in every fashion. Every form of currency whether physical, mental, or emotional has been spent. It leaves me feeling broken.

  The Sphere, the bunker, the city, and Eli. It all happened so fast. I can’t help but wonder if tomorrow I’ll wake up in Pura to find out this whole thing was a dream. The very thought makes it difficult to fall asleep, especially with the warped scene from my nightmare still fresh in my mind.

  Images of her melting face mix with the strobing light of the storm. Then all at once, it vanishes. Replaced by another face, Leina’s. How soft she looked to the touch. Touch… yes, to touch her. To let the flames of passion burn into a roaring bonfire instead of snuffing them out like the rusted lantern on my side.

  I remember her eyes so clearly, so vividly, they almost appear right before me. She taught me how to survive within the system. And now, I have Eli who will teach me to survive without it. The repeated thumping of raindrops lulls me to sleep.

  Dreamless. Weightless. A void, until the rays of dawn tiptoe silently through the window. “It’s time to get up,” says a voice.

  “Not now, Jathom,” I moan.