Iris

by Nick Whitesides

  “The side effect of the compound will recede. We intend to debrief you regarding the events after departure from the Sphere.”

  “I don’t… I don’t understand. What’s going on?” The panic of ignorance hurts my pounding head as my mental gears struggle to operate.

  “As previously mentioned, you participated as a test subject in the project known as VRBA, which—”

  “What is this?” Confusion takes hold of me. I jerk my arms and feel the cold steel of six silver cuffs strapping me to the arms of the chair. They’re tight enough to keep me restricted without cutting off my circulation. Even my stump won’t slide out.

  “Before we continue, Cornelus, I believe it wise to ensure clarification, if the test subject is to cooperate further,” suggests a nasally voice from behind me.

  “I concur,” adds the woman who spoke earlier.

  “Let it be done. 4-3-8-7, it was proposed to have your BAND deactivated intentionally and to observe your actions in accordance with the VRBA.”

  The room grows quiet. The words come out of my mouth before I know what I’m saying.

  “So… what this… this was…” My voice gets louder as understanding unveils my naiveté.

  “Wait, what about… what about…”

  “Predetermined challenges have always been a part of the VRBA. Your life-giver’s supposed death, your promotion to SIO, the deactivation of your BAND, your finding the key and the bunker in the desert… all of it was by design.”

  A tempest of sickness churns in my stomach, rising from the recesses of my bowels. I dry heave, unable to vomit from the lack of food; heavy breaths worsening my sense of enclosure.

  “I want to see my Father.”

  Cornelius looks to the others for any objecting signs and then nods, pointing directly behind me.

  Footsteps echo as he stands from his seat and walks into my view, perfectly erect. “How did you know what would happen?” I ask, the fog lifting from my mind.

  Cornelus continues, “We didn’t. We simply prepared the events and observed. Let us recount. First, Kalen’s death. As necessary, those of the Council initiate the VRBA protocol with intention to completely deactivate a dependent’s BAND and all functions there within, in order to examine and record the potential interactions of said dependent outside of a restrictive awareness. Before this could take place, we removed your life-giver from your daily interactions to determine your eligibility. Your reactions were nothing short of impulsive and irrational so naturally you made for a promising subject.”

  His tone is snobby. I want to rip his vocal cords out with my bare hand.

  “We monitored you for some years with mediocre results. However, it was after removing the birth-giver of the three adolescent grangers, that we detected extreme changes in brain wave patterns.”

  “Removed the birth-giver?” I ask bitterly. “The birth-giver developed a sickness that would have terminated her life regardless. We decided not to let it go to waste and used it as an opportunity.”

  “Wait… then, Adaam, Vae, and Lucilla?”

  There’s no reaction from any of them.

  “You murdered a sick woman? Not only that, her children? Why?”

  “Instructions were sent to eliminate her offspring as part of our efforts to invite you to disobey IRIS. Davus carried out the order perfectly, and the results were more than satisfactory,” he retorts.

  Every vile word drooling from his arrogant mouth, fills me with the most murderous wrath. A contempt I’ve never had for anyone ever. A hate that pulses through my veins, saturates my breath, consumes my thoughts and burrows into my very bones. I can think of nothing else.

  “What was this all for? Why did you do this to me?”

  “VRBA is used to challenge those with the greatest potential threat to IRIS, Pura, and our way of life. Those who have the highest aptitude to become rebellious leaders, innovators, creative minds, and free thinkers. People that pose a danger to the laws of this city and its security. We must ensure that our methods for dependency control are one hundred percent effective. That’s why VRBA was created. How can we know what changes need to be made unless something goes wrong?”

  Humiliating silence follows the harsh realization. “And Jathom?” I motion my view to Kalen. “Do you know he’s dead? He was shot to death trying to help me escape.”

  “We were aware of his involvement. He was absolved of any crimes committed while your VRBA was in preparation. But once initiated, he was replaced with Arbiter Trenton. We anticipated his intercession as it was necessary to give you the access to the key, though we did not intend to place him in harm’s way.”

  What a lousy excuse! It doesn’t matter if they didn’t mean for it to happen. It’s still their fault. “What about the Atlases? You gave them the power to sentence to Cleansing? That’s insane!”

  Cornelus snorts out a sigh. “Despite our precautions, your actions did have recourse. We permitted the dependent Maxis to be exiled in an attempt to bait you back to Pura and complete the VRBA. Since we could not confirm your death, measures had to be taken to guarantee our security.”

  I shoot him a smug look of disgust. “You all deserve Cleansing, especially you,” I gesture to Kalen.

  “During the height of the experiment, half a dozen Atlases were killed in the attempt to stop you.” Cornelus replies with mild annoyance.

  “I was only defending myself. What other choice did I have?”

  He leans forward, raising an eyebrow, “Exactly. That’s what we wanted to know.”

  Now that my mental faculties have returned, I wish I didn’t know. “If you will cooperate, the Council is prepared to compensate you. With the information you provide, we’ll be able to update our security further. We will retract the authority given to the Atlases and instead, introduce more advanced BAND restrictions and greater military enforcements. So… tell us what you experienced outside the Sphere.”

  I give my most defiant look and say, “No.”

  He frowns, bowing his head before saying “Subject 4-3-8-7, understand that a great deal has been endured to allow you participate in this project.”

  He motions to Kalen with the slightest disdain. “You have done something that no one in the history of Pura has ever accomplished. A feat of human will and perseverance that is unrivaled and would greatly benefit this Council and ensure the continued prosperity of our dependents for centuries to come.”

  “Centuries? Of this? Forcing people to deny what you consider to be ‘wrong’? It’s no different from slavery!”

  “You dare to question IRIS? Our very laws? IRIS was designed to protect people.”

  “Protect them from what?!” I shout.

  “From themselves.” He stares back at me just as defiantly. “Why do you think it was necessary to build this Sphere in the first place? Why are we here? Because the entire world was destroyed in atomic fire!” His calm tone slips into obvious rage, but is smothered instantly. “We weren’t the victims of abuse and personal gain, we were the architects! Billions of people were killed in the name of country and king. Murdered out of wasteful pride and vanity. We cannot be trusted. A human being, by nature, is selfish and cruel; designed to lust after power, fortune, and prowess. VRBA ensures that even if the worst happens, we will be prepared. We will have a plan and we will prevail.”

  I hate myself for admitting that a small part of me agrees with his logic. I was outside the Sphere. I’ve seen firsthand the corruption of the human soul.

  With a more submissive tone, I ask, “How many dependents have you done this to?”

  He moves his shoulders, as if it makes him uncomfortable, and clears his throat. “Since the beginning of VRBA, you are the first to survive out of 4,387.”

  My mouth gapes open. It’s too much. It’s all too much and I retreat inside myself. “No… No this… this isn’t real. This isn’t really happening.” I struggle violently to get free. “Let me go, let me go! I want to wake up. I want to wake up. Wake up!�
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  But all my efforts are useless as I shed tears of despair, of broken hope. Once I tire out, Kalen looks at me and says the worst thing I’ve ever heard him say. “You are awake.”

  Cornelus stands up. “If you are not willing to divulge your knowledge to us, then we will hold you responsible for all the crimes committed with no chance of pardon. Tell us or you will be sentenced to death.”

  I shake my head. “I want to wake up now.” My voice quivers as a wicked chill goes up and down my spine making my teeth chatter.

  “Cornelus, you have yet to inform the subject of the full compensation,” Kalen says.

  “Bind your tongue!” he shouts, a flash of red coming from his own BAND. Letting out a cough a few times before steeling himself again, he exhales. “Pardon me, esteemed Council members. Very well. As compensation for your willingness to further Pura and its existence, Kalen has willingly offered to intercede for punishment, and for you to take his place as Council Member and Keysmith.”

  Keysmith? That position was abolished years ago.

  “As part of our agreement, Kalen designed the events of your VRBA with the condition that he be allowed to ask your replacing him upon completion, and in return he would accept full punishment for all crimes committed.”

  Is this a joke? They actually think I would want to be a part of this? I’ve already mourned his death once, I won’t do it again.

  My shock transforms into absurd laughter. I laugh long and loud until my tears return.

  “This is your last chance,” he repeats with vigor. I let out the last few huffs and stick my chin up high.

  “I will tell you nothing. I’m not your puppet, or your messenger, or your slave. Not anymore.”

  I spit as hard as I can; the mucous wad landing a few feet in front of me. Disappointed looks and groans appear on all their faces.

  “It’s a shame. You could have helped us so much. But, it’s clear to us all that you have been dominated by your carnality and are otherwise unfit to live within the confines of this pure and holy city. You have wasted a grand opportunity for our way of life, to thrive—”

  “This isn’t life!” I interrupt forcefully. “This isn’t even living. It’s just waiting to outlive your usefulness until you die. That’s not life!”

  “It’s better than throwing your life away like you’re doing now!” he shouts back.

  “I’d rather die and keep what I know to myself if it means defying you. All of you. You’re monsters. You’re the real distorted nature of man.”

  With a look of offense, he sits down, taken aback.

  “In all my years, I’ve never dealt with an individual who was so full of wicked pride. You cannot assist us anymore. With all the powers of IRIS, the city of Pura, and those who reside on this Council, I charge subject 4-3-8-7 with treason, failure to uphold his duties as an Atlas, and murder. Do you have anything to say before we pass sentence?” he asks.

  For the last time, I look to my father with the smallest glimmer of hope that he might come to my aid. “Did you mean any of it?” The other members look at each other confused.

  At first he doesn’t respond, so I ask again. “Did you mean anything you ever said to me? When you told me you loved me or when you spoke kind words to me? Was any of that ever real?”

  He doesn’t speak.

  “Enough of this, unless there is a member of this Council who motions for temporary immunity, we find you guilty of all the accused crimes and sentences you—”

  “Look at me!” I bellow with unfathomable fury. The Council freezes as he acknowledges me and I see him see me. Briefly, I see the eyes of a loving father who would give his life to save his child. I swear I could see the faintest hint of a smile.

  “Did you ever love me?” I ask intently. His gaze changes.

  “Kalen, just answer the question and we’ll move on,” Cornelus barks.

  Staring past me he begins, “Subject 4-3-8-7. . .”

  “—Say my name.”

  “Subject 4-3-8. . .”

  “—Say my name,” I demand with childlike anger.

  “—Subject 4-3. . .”

  “Say my name! I’m not just another number, I’m your son! You taught me that!”

  He looks down with his arms pressed against his sides. “Subject 4-3-8-7, everything I did was to prepare you for the VRBA.”

  My heart is beyond shattered, it’s pulverized. There are no pieces left to pick up. It is simply destroyed beyond any means of repair. I stare at him, wishing I could wipe the tears away coldly, with fierce remorse.

  He doesn’t deserve them. My Father is dead.

  “We sentence you to Cleansing, to rid you of your carnal nature over a period of three days. Should you survive, we will execute you publicly by firing squad. As far as the VRBA is concerned, we will review the events within the Sphere as a Council and come to a consensus for restrictions. This case is dismissed.”

  He raises his palm and slams it against the top of his arm chair; a loud bang reverberating throughout the room. My chair turns 180 degrees to face an opening door as the SIO’s come to take me away.

  “Kalen, take point,” one of them commands. I look at him, wishing more than ever that he would smile at me. But now I know every smile was a lie. Every moment of hope was scripted. He unlocks the metal straps, while the members walk out of the room in single file.

  “How could you?”

  He gulps and looks away. One of the approaching Atlases grabs my arm. Another jabs his pistol into the back of my head. I can’t tear my eyes from him. A living, breathing, deception with lies pumping through his capillaries.

  Right before me, every moment we ever shared flashes and then melts away. Terrible pressure builds in my chest. A burning pain. I see his broken body on the ground with dead eyes looking right at me. I hear all his words about truth and justice and humanity and it leaves me with a bitter taste in my mouth.

  “Let’s go,” the guard says, pushing me. I refuse to move and resist him; staring fiercely at Kalen as if trying to say with my mind ‘You look at me!’

  “I said let’s go!” The Atlas raises his arm and I catch it. I’m not ready to leave yet. Not yet. Not until he knows.

  A sudden fuse is lit in the back of my mind then explodes like a supernova. All I know is rage. Uncontrollable, unrelenting, unforgiving rage. It consumes me. My thoughts, my being, my everything.

  Still holding the guard’s arm, I pull him in and kick hard against his chest. Another one approaches my right. I grab his wrist and twist it as far back as I can, a gross popping noise is muffled by his scream. Then I turn to the Atlas behind me who unholsters his gun with a look of terror. I wrestle it out of his hands and strike him across the face.

  Kalen watches all this happen, unmoving, like I’m invisible. I will make him see me. I will make him understand what he’s done to me. As I stride over to him, my head rears forward as I’m hit from behind. “Urgh!” I turn around to the guard closest to me and point the gun right at him, firing three shots at his body.

  Little puffs of smoke dispel from the barrels end as he doubles over. For good measure, I shoot the other two as well; aiming in between the gaps of their armor. One bullet penetrates a shoulder and the other a calf. Blood sprays out onto the ground, leaving all three of them incapacitated.

  Then I turn back to Kalen who is still looking down. Rushing over, I push him hard and press his back against the wall. “You did this to me! You did this!”

  Beyond the reach of reason, I fume with unquenchable anger and dig the pistol into his forehead. “You should have stayed dead!” The lump in my throat makes it hard to speak. “Look at me.”

  He doesn’t.

  I take a step back and punch him. “Look at me!”

  His cheek turns purple and begins to puff up, though he still refuses to look. I get right up to him again and whisper, “You’re the real monster.”

  He still won’t look at me, so I spit in his face and aim the gun at his head
. But my finger hesitates to pull the trigger, so I force myself to look beyond his appearance.

  This is not your Father, Krys. This man pretended to love you, pretended to mentor you for years so you could be an experiment. Your real father died outside of this Sphere and saved you from yourself. And his name is Eli.

  Hearing his name in my mind, racks me with guilt. Eli never wanted to kill anyone. Only if it was unavoidable. Even against Jaak, who was the reason his family died. He would never do this.

  And like that, my anger is gone. Dried up like a puddle of water on the hot desert ground. The gun clatters to the floor out and I fall to my knees; covering my eyes with my hand.

  Now I wish I was invisible. Marching footfalls of reinforcements thunder down the hallway. I look up at him like a child as he stares straight ahead.

  “Why?”

  He turns around and faces the wall when the entering SIO’s shout out an order. Then he turns around and kneels in front of me. For a moment I think he’s trying to say something to me. Call me by my name or put his hands on my shoulders. So, I wait to see what he does.

  He lifts up my BAND arm, examining it carefully; especially the stump of bone where my hand once was. Looking behind, I take in the scene of chaos I created. The two guards I shot are being carried away. One is still on the floor crying out in pain holding his deformed looking arm.

  Did I do this? Could I really be capable of so much pain? I turn back to Kalen, hoping he will notice my vulnerability and give me comfort. He releases my arm and stands up again to face the wall.

  “Stand up now or we will fire!” says one of the guards.

  I comply with the order and get off my knees. “Put your hands up!”

  “He won’t resist you now, Atlases,” Kalen says somberly.

  It’s only once I raise my arms that I notice a small glow out of the corner of my eye.

  “No… no,” I whimper as the light of my BAND shines brightly. Frantically, I dig into the skin with my fingernails; desperately trying to pry it out. A strong buzz rocks my whole frame as WARNING appears on the screen. “No… no, no! How could you do this to me?”