The Deeper We Get (The Harder I Fall #2)

by Jessica Gibson

  “You ready for this?” Vin asked.

  “I think so.” I taped up my knuckles.

  “Where is your head at?”

  “In a much better place. Things are good. Scarlet’s good, I’m good.”

  “You just said the word good way too many times.” He laughed.

  “I know I did. I don't know any other way to describe it though. Things are way better. We’re totally solid now.”

  “Good, you two are great together. You just needed to figure your shit out, and stop making an ass of yourself all the time.”

  “Everything with my dad should never have happened. I should never have lied about it, and he should never have been able to get to her.”

  “It happened, and now it’s done. I’m happy you could move past it.”

  I nodded and wrapped my hands up. My blood was already pumping in anticipation of getting into the ring again.

  “I’ll see you up there.” He wandered off and left me alone with my thoughts.

  I cleared my head of everything but boxing. I didn't want anything else to cloud this. Being honest with myself, I was terrified that this would go poorly. Either I would wig out or get my ass handed to me by Vin in front of Scarlet.

  I got up and walked up into the ring where Vin was waiting. Ian was standing off to the side with Scarlet.

  “You ready?” Vin asked.

  “Yep, let’s do this shit.” We bumped gloves and spread apart.

  He circled around me, looking for his opening. In my head I told myself I was going to let him get a few shots in for what happened last time. But the second I saw his fist come at me that changed. I dodged out of the way and rounded on him with a shot to his side.

  “Good, I was worried you had gone soft with all that relationship shit back there.” He grinned around his mouth guard.

  “Fuck off. I’ll show you soft.” I ran at him and threw a series of punches that all landed. Damn this felt good.

  “Come on, keep at it.” He danced around me. “I’m still standing, show me what you’ve got.”

  It hit me then that he might be letting me get my hits in. “You going easy on me?” I demanded, pinning him to the ropes.

  “Never.” He pushed me back and knocked my head back with a solid hit to the chin.

  “Better.” I hit him back, square in the jaw.

  “Is that it?” he taunted.

  “You tell me, you’ve barely landed anything. Maybe you’re the one out of practice?” I laughed and sidestepped a body shot.

  He launched himself and pinned me to the ropes while he rained blow after blow to my sides and back.

  Goddamn this was what I needed, that little bit of pain and violence in the right arena with the right person. It kept me sane.

  I shoved him back and hit him with an uppercut and a shot to the nose. He got me right back with a shot to the cheek.

  Ian rang the bell, and we went to our corners. I felt alive again.

  “Holy shit. Are you both okay?” Scarlet asked as she ran up.

  “Better than okay.” I spit out my mouth guard and grinned.

  “What he said.” Vin wiped at the blood coming from his nose.

  I had a cut just by my eye that had blood running down my cheek but I didn’t care. This was what had been missing the last few weeks.

  “Come here, let me clean that up.” She held out a paper towel.

  “Don’t bother, you can patch me up when we’re done.”

  “You aren’t done?”

  “Nope.”

  “How much more of this is there?”

  “Vin?” I turned to him.

  “Let’s just go another round. We should ease her into it don’t you think?”

  I nodded and turned back. “Are you okay with this?”

  “Yeah, I think so. It’s just hard seeing you covered in blood. The huge smile on your face on the other hand is the best ever.”

  I pulled her in for a quick kiss before popping my mouth guard back in and standing up. Ian rang the bell, and we went at each other again. The final round we did more laughing and trash talking than actual fighting.

  “Come at me bro,” I joked, holding my arms out.

  “Seriously?” Vin laughed. He threw a halfhearted punch that barely felt like anything when it connected with my jaw.

  “This is ridiculous, you both are candy asses,” Ian called from the side.

  “Shut it,” Vin yelled.

  “Make me,” he countered.

  “What are you like five?”

  “Maybe.” Ian laughed.

  That pretty much signaled the end of the round, so I went over to join Scarlet. “So, was it everything you thought it would be?”

  “I don’t know what I was expecting to be honest with you.” She shrugged. “Do you feel better?”

  “I really do. I needed this more than I thought. Can you understand why?”

  “I think so. I can see how controlled it is most of the time. And how safe you both are.”

  “I want you to know me,” I whispered. “Even the scary parts.”

  “I do know you.” She smiled and wiped away the blood on my face with a wet paper towel.

  She did know me, and she accepted me for who I was. I didn’t ever have to hide from her.

  “God, I love you.” I pulled her in for a kiss.

  “Eeew, you’re all sweaty and bloody.” She tried to pull away.

  “So?” I leaned in and kissed her. Her hands came up my sides to hold onto my face.

  “Get a room,” Vin yelled.

  “We just might.” I flipped him the finger.

  “No, we won’t.” Scarlet giggled.

  “Dinner?” Ian asked.

  “You know it,” Vin called as he walked back to the locker room.

  “What do you think?” I asked her.

  “I’m game. Go on and change, I’ll meet you when you’re done.” She kissed me and stepped back through the ropes.

  Instead of going out, we decided to meet back at my place and order pizza. Vin was picking up Sierra on his way, and Ian was bringing the flavor of the week. Scarlet and I hurried back and got the pizza ordered so I could grab a quick shower before everyone came over. Sometimes having a big house on the beach had its perks, like having enough room to have a bunch of friends over on a whim.

  “Hey.” Scarlet was sitting cross-legged on my bed when I came out of the bathroom with a towel around my waist.

  “What’s up?” I grabbed some clothes from my dresser.

  “I’ve been thinking.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Uh huh. I think I want to move in.”

  This was news I could get excited about. “You do huh?”

  “Yep, I do.”

  “What does Frank say about it?” I asked.

  “I haven’t talked to him about it,” she groaned.

  “Do you think he’ll be okay with it?”

  “Not sure. Probably. Seeing as I sleep over more than I don’t. It wouldn’t really be that huge of a change. I would just have all my stuff over here instead of there.”

  I nodded and continued getting dressed. “Are you convincing yourself or practicing what you’ll be saying to Frank?”

  “My mind is set. I’m twenty years old, if I want to move in with my boyfriend I can do it. I don't need his permission.”

  “True. What made you change your mind? You were pretty set on not living together not that long ago.”

  “The past couple of weeks have been amazing. I just realized I’m happier with you all the time. I don't want to wait, I want to move in and make a life here with you.”

  “I want that too. More than anything. So, should I get the guest bedroom all set up for you?” I arched a brow.

  “Funny.” She shook her head. “I know I said that before, but it was mostly because the idea of us living together freaked me the hell out.”

  “You aren’t scared anymore?” I walked toward where she was sitting.

  “I
’m still scared, just in the best way. The way that gives me butterflies in my stomach and makes me feel like I’ll die if you don’t kiss me.”

  I stepped between her legs and put my hand at the back of her neck, forcing her to look up at me. “I never want you to lose that feeling,” I said softly, lowering my mouth to hers. “I can't always promise rainbows and glitter, but I can promise you that no one will ever love you as much as I do.”

  “That’s what I always wanted. That kind of love that consumes you.”

  “You consume me. You’re in every part of me now. I can't be without you.” I kissed her again. “We better stop this, everyone will be here soon.” I stepped back.

  She looked delicious, her lips swollen from kisses and her hair tousled from having laid on the bed. I wanted nothing more than to peel the clothes from her body and lick every inch of her.

  As if on cue the doorbell rang. I groaned and grabbed the shirt I had laid out and threw it on. “Guess we should go downstairs.”

  “What if we pretend we’re not home?” She giggled.

  “Scarlet, I’m surprised at you.” I shook my finger at her.

  “I just really want you right now.” She pouted.

  “You can have me, all night long, after our friends leave. Get your booty up and let’s go.” I threw my towel at her.

  The doorbell rang again as I walked down the stairs. “Keep your pants on, I’m coming,” I yelled.

  “Maybe it’s you who needs the pants,” Ian called back with a laugh.

  I opened the door to the small group and laughed. “Look, my pants are firmly in place. Come on in.”

  Scarlet was just coming down the stairs when I shut the door. “Hey guys.”

  Ian had brought the chick he was currently sleeping with and she was pretty. Totally typical of the kind of girl he went for—really big boobs and blond hair—not that there was anything wrong with that.

  Sierra and Scarlet broke off from the group and ended up in the kitchen getting a salad and some bread together for when the pizzas came.

  “Carrie? Do you want to come in with us?” she called.

  “No thanks.” Carrie pressed herself even closer against Ian’s side. I shot him a look, and he just grinned.

  The rest of the night was great. We ate too much pizza and laughed our asses off. Vin and Ian were really good friends, and I knew I was extremely lucky. Right before they were all leaving for the night Scarlet told them she had some news.

  “Wait, let me guess. You're pregnant?” Ian blurted out.

  “What? No, I’m not pregnant.” She slapped his arm. “I’m moving in here with Chad.” She linked her arm through mine and pressed a kiss to my cheek.

  “Don’t you already live here?” Ian asked.

  “Pretty much.” I laughed. “We’re just making it official and moving in her stuff.”

  “That’s awesome you guys.” Sierra smiled.

  “I’ve always said that you are good for each other. You balance the other out.” Vin grinned. “Let me know if you need help moving everything.”

  “Thanks man.” I shook his hand.

  After we said our goodbyes and the house was once again quiet, I sighed in contentment. Maybe my life didn’t have to be terrible after all. Scarlet had breathed new life into me, she had made me a better person, a better man.

  The trial was fast approaching, I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Tom again. Becca and Ruth were due to be coming in any day now for the trial. Some days I didn’t feel like I had any control over my life. Like it was being run by circumstance instead of direction of any sort.

  Being back at work helped, I could just work and not think about anything else. Frank had given me extra hours since I didn’t have school to worry about. Things were a bit tense with him since Scarlet had moved in. He wasn’t exactly a huge fan of our decision, but he didn’t tell her she couldn’t do it.

  I had another meeting with Greg after work, and I had to pick up Scarlet from the house on the way. Today was the day she went over her testimony with Ashley.

  “Chad?” Frank called when he walked into the garage.

  “Back here.” I raised a hand so he could find me amidst the shelves and boxes. I was looking for a specific part in the storage area.

  “Today is testimony day for Scarlet right?” he asked.

  “Right.” I nodded.

  “I’m worried about her. Having to relive it all.”

  “I am too, but it’s all part of this. They want her as prepared as they can get her before the trial because the defense attorneys are not going to take it easy on either of us.”

  He sat down on a stool and raked a hand through his dark hair. “When everything happened with my brother, I could shield her from the worst of it. She was so young and fragile. I may not be her biological father, but she’s my daughter in every sense of the word. I worry about what this will do to her.”

  Frank never really showed emotion unless Scarlet was involved. She was his weakness, the tender spot in his heart.

  “I worry too. I don't know what they’re going to ask her. She and I have not talked about a lot of the specifics about what happened before I got to the apartment.”

  “She’s not spoken to me about it either.” He sighed. “I worry that she’s keeping it inside.”

  “Children of abuse tend to do that. I’ve done it a lot in my life. Sometimes it’s easier to cope with it if you don’t have to say it. You can put it in a box in your brain and pretend like the box doesn't exist. I don’t know if that’s what she’s doing, but it wouldn’t surprise me at all if it was.”

  “The two of you together in theory sounds like a terrible idea.”

  I started to speak but he held up his hand.

  “On paper, two abuse survivors shouldn’t work. But I see you together, and I can see how much you love her. It wasn’t easy for me to let her move in with you. I know she’s an adult now and capable of making her own decisions, but it was still hard seeing her pack up her things and watching her leave with you.” His voice cracked.

  “Frank.” I put a hand on his shoulder. “I love her so damn much.”

  “I know you do,” he said softly. “It makes it easier for me knowing you’ll take care of her the way she should be.”

  “I know things won't always be easy between Scarlet and me. But I’ve learned so much about myself in the last few months. There are things I'm willing to live without, and Scarlet isn’t one of them. I can never go back to being without her. So, in my head I've made adjustments to what is acceptable behavior. I’m not used to answering to anyone about things. Even with Ruth and Sam I never really had to answer to them. They expected me to act a certain way, so I did. I know that sounds bad, like they didn’t love me, but that’s not true at all. When they took me in they told me there were things they would tolerate and things they wouldn’t. I made sure to stay far away from the things they wouldn’t tolerate.” I stopped for a moment.

  “I’ll never understand what you both have been through in your lives. I can’t fathom it, that a parent would do such terrible things.”

  “Frank you are a good man, a better man than your brother. You stepped in and took in a ten-year-old little girl and raised her to be this amazing woman. I’ve seen people turn their backs when they should step forward. You didn’t do that.”

  “I should have done more. When I suspected things weren’t right I should have said something right away.”

  “Don’t do that to yourself. You can’t do anything about the past now. Besides, from everything she’s told me about it, you could have never known. I was really good at hiding things when I was younger. You did everything for her. You changed her world.”

  “I didn’t do enough.” His voice was barely a whisper. I could see the emotion he was holding in.

  “No. You were and are everything to her. You saved her from more pain than she could have handled.”

  “He was my brother. I thought I knew him.”


  “People change.”

  “They do. After Scarlet’s mom died he was so different, really distant from the rest of us. They were so isolated, that’s why I didn't see things for what they were.”

  “You have to let it go.” I put a hand on his shoulder.

  “I don’t know if I can. I’m still so angry at him.”

  I knew that feeling. I was still carrying around so much hate for Tom. I wasn’t sure I could ever let it all go. He had done too much to me and to Scarlet.

  “It’s okay to be angry for a while. But anger can turn into hate before you know it, and hate is like a cancer that will eat you up from the inside out.”

  “Do you take your own advice with this?” he countered.

  “It’s too soon with me. Things are too fresh. I hope I’ll eventually get there.”

  His expression shifted, and I could tell this conversation was over now. “You’re a good guy Chad. I know I can trust you with her.” He gave me a slap on the back and left me alone with the boxes.

  I drove home on autopilot after work, a lot on my mind about the upcoming meeting. When I got inside Scarlet was waiting in the kitchen, a blank look on her face as she stared out the window.

  “You okay?” I dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

  “Yeah, just thinking.” She smiled up at me.

  “I talked with Frank today.”

  “You did? About what?”

  “You. The past. He really opened up to me about all of it. It took me by complete surprise.”

  “I can imagine. He’s not usually one for talking about his feelings.”

  “I think he still carries around a lot of guilt over what happened to you.”

  “He did so much for me,” she said quietly.

  “I know he did honey. Frank’s a man, and men hate when women get hurt. He hates what happened all those years ago. It’s even worse because it was his brother.”

  “I wish that he would talk to me about all of this.”

  “I think he will, in his own time. All of the trial stuff brought all of this back up to the surface for him.”

  “I’m sure you’re right. It’s brought all of my past up for me as well. I didn’t really have to do a lot last time because I was so young and they only wanted to protect me. The evidence was there and my dad admitted to it. There was no denying what had happened.”