Constance Sherwood: An Autobiography of the Sixteenth Century

by Georgiana Fullerton

quietly dressed ourselves, and slipping outunseen, repaired as fast as we could, for the ground was wet andslippery, to Mr. Wells's house. We found assembled in one room Mr.Genings, Mr. Plasden, another priest, Mr. White, Mr. Lacy, MistressWells, Sydney Hodgson, Mr. Mason, and many others. Edmund Geningsproceeded to say mass. There was so great a stillness in the room apin should have been heard to drop. Albeit he said the prayers in avery low voice, each word was audible. Mine ears, which are very quickwere stretched to the utmost. Each sound in the street caused me aninward flutter. Methought, when he was reading the gospel I discerneda sound as of the hall-door opening, and of steps. Then nothing morefor a little while; but just at the moment of the consecration therewas a loud rush up the stairs, and the door of the chamber burst open.The gentlemen present rose from their knees. Mistress Wells and Icontrariwise sunk on the ground. I dared not for to look, or move, orbreathe, but kept inwardly calling on God, then present, for to saveus. I heard the words behind me: "Topcliffe! keep him back!" "Hurl himdown the stairs!" and then a sound of scuffling, falling, and rolling,followed by a moment's silence.

  The while the mass went forward, ever and anon noises rose without;but the gentlemen held the door shut by main force all the time. Theykept the foe at bay, these brave men, each word uttered at the altarresounding, I ween, in their breasts. O my God, what a store ofsuffering was heaped into a brief space of time! What a viaticum wasthat communion then received by thy doomed priest! "_Domine, nonsum dignus_," he thrice said, and then his Lord rested in his soul."_Deo gratias_" None could now profane the sacred mysteries; nonecould snatch his Lord from him. "_Ite missa est_." The mass was said,the hour come, death at hand. All resistance then ceased. I sawTopcliffe hastening in with a broken head, and threatening to raisethe whole street. Mr. Plasden told him that, now the mass was ended,we would all yield ourselves prisoners, which we did; upon which hetook Mr. Genings as he was, in his vestments, and all of us, men andwomen, in coaches he called for, to Newgate. Muriel and I kept closetogether, and, with Mistress Wells, were thrust into one cell.Methinks we should all have borne with courage this misfortune but forthe thinking of those without--Muriel of her aged and infirm father;Mistress Wells of her husband's return that day to his sacked house,robbed of all its church furniture, books, and her the partner of hiswhole life. And I thought of Basil, and what he should feel if he knewof me in this fearful Newgate, near to so many thieves and wickedpersons; and a trembling came over me lest I should be parted from mycompanions. I had much to do to recall the courageous spirit I hadheretofore nurtured in foreseeing such a hap as this. If I had had todie at once, I think I should have been more brave; but terribleforebodings of examinations--perchance tortures, long solitary hoursin a loathsome place--caused me inward shudderings; and albeit I saidwith my lips over and over again, "Thy will be done, my God," Ipassionately prayed this chalice might pass from me which often beforein my presumption--I cry mercy for it--I had almost desired to drink.Oh, often have I thought since of what is said in David's Psalms, "Itis good for me that thou hast humbled me." From my young years a hotglowing feeling had inflamed my breast at the mention of suffering forconscience sake, and the words "to die" had been very familiar onesto my lips; "rather to die," "gladly to die," "proudly to die;" alas,how often had I uttered them! O my God, when the foul smells, thefaint light of that dreadful place, struck on my senses, I waxed veryweak. The coarse looks of the jailers, the disgusting food set beforeus, the filthy pallets, awoke in me a loathing I could not repress.And then a fear also, which the sense of my former presumption didawaken. "Let he that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall,"kept running in mine head. I had said, like St. Peter, that I wasready for to go to prison and to death; and now, peradventure, Ishould betray my Lord if too great pain overtook me. Muriel saw mewringing mine hands; and, sitting down by my side on the rudemattress, she tried for to comfort me. Then, in that hour of bitteranguish, I learnt that creature's full worth. Who should have thought,who did not then hear her, what stores of superhuman strength, ofheavenly knowledge, of divine comfort, should have flowed from herlips? Then I perceived the value of a wholly detached heart,surrendered to God alone. Young as she was, her soul was as calm inthis trial as that of the aged resigned woman which shared it with us.Mine was tempest-tossed for a while. I could but lie mine head onMuriel's knee and murmur, "Basil, O Basil!" or else, "If, after all, Ishould prove an apostate, which hath so despised others for it!"

  "'Tis good to fear," she whispered, "but withal to trust. Is it notwritten, mine own Constance, 'My strength is sufficient for thee?' andwho saith this but the Author of all strength--he on whom the wholeworld doth rest? He permitteth this fear in thee for humility's sake,which lesson thou hast need to learn. When that of courage is needed,be not affrighted; he will give it thee. He bestoweth not gracesbefore they be needed."

  Then she minded me of little St. Agnes, and related passages of herlife; but mostly spoke of the cross and the passion of Christ, in suchpiercing and moving tones, as if visibly beholding the scene onCalvary, that the storm seemed to subside in my breast as she went on.

  "Pray," she gently said, "that, if it be God's will, the extremity ofhuman suffering should fall on thee, so that thy love for him shouldincrease. Pray that no human joy may visit thee again, so that heavenmay open its gates to thee and thy loved ones. Pray for Hubert, forthe queen, for Topcliffe, for every human soul which thou hast everbeen tempted to hate; and I promise thee that a great peace shallsteal over thy soul, and a great strength shall lift thee up."

  I did what she desired, and her words were prophetic. Peace camebefore long, and joy too, of a strange unearthly sort. A briefforetaste of heaven was showed forth in the consolations then pouredinto mine heart. When since I have desired for to rekindle fervor andawaken devotion, I recall the hours which followed that great anguishin the cell at Newgate.

  Late in the evening an order came for to release Muriel and me, butnot Mrs. Wells. When this dear friend understood what had occurred,she raised her hands in fervent gratitude to God, and dismissed uswith many blessings.

  The events which, followed I will briefly relate. When we reached homeMr. Congleton was very sick; and then began the illness which endedhis life. Kate was almost wild with grief at her husband's danger, andwe fetched her and her children to her father's house for to watchover them. On the next day all the prisoners which had been taken atMr. Wells's house (we only having been released by the dealings offriends with the chief secretary) were examined by Justice Young, andreturned to prison to take their trials the next session. Mr. Wells,at his return finding his house ransacked and his wife carried away toprison, had been forthwith to Mr. Justice Young for to expostulatewith him, and to demand his wife and the key of his lodgings; but thejustice sent him to bear the rest company, with a pair of iron boltson his legs. The next day he examined him in Newgate; and upon Mr.Wells saying he was not privy to the mass being said that day in hishouse, but wished he had been present, thinking his name highlyhonored by having so divine a sacrifice offered in it, the justicetold him "that though he was not at the feast, he should taste of thesame."

  The evening I returned home from the prison a great lassitude overcameme, and for a few days increased so much, joined with pains in thehead and in the limbs, that I could scarcely think, or so much asstand. At last it was discerned that I was sickening with thesmall-pox, caught, methinks, in the prison; and this was no smallincrease to Muriel's trouble, who had to go to and fro from my chamberto her father's, and was forced to send Kate and her children to thecountry to Sir Ralph Ingoldsby's house; but methinks in the end thisproved for the best, for when Mr. Lacy was, with the other prisoners,found guilty, and condemned to death on the 4th of December, some forhaving said, and the others for having heard, mass at Mr. Wells'shouse, Kate came to London but for a few hours, to take leave of him,and Polly's care of her afterward cheered the one sister in her greatbut not very lasting affliction, and sobered the other's spirits in abeneficial manner, for since sh
e hath been a stayer at home, and verycareful of her children and Kate's also, and, albeit very secretly,doth I hear practise her religion. Mr. Congleton never heard of hisson-in-law and his friend Mr. Wells's danger, the palsy which affectedhim having numbed his senses so that he slowly sunk in his gravewithout suffering of body or mind. From Muriel I heard the course ofthe trial. How many bitter words and scoffs were used by thejudges and others upon the bench, particularly to Edmund Genings,because of his youth, and that he angered them with his arguments! Themore to make him a scoff to the people, they vested him in aridiculous fool's coat which they had found in Mr. Wells's house, andwould have it to be a vestment. It was