The War with Grandma
Page 20
At the end of the summer, we went to see Grandma in the play The Sound of Music and when she sang her solo I cried. I really did.
Dad did too. Maybe we all did.
55
For My Readers
This is now the end of my exposé that I hope all the world reads!
It was a long ride, no pun intended, and I hope this is useful to my children and to my children’s children and to my children’s children’s children, because here’s the thing, sometimes war with your grandparents is inevitable.
Sometimes you can’t stop it.
Sometimes it will control everything you do and think about.
And it’s not pretty. Not pretty at all because grandparents are stronger and weirder and smarter than they look. In fact, here’s a list of grandparent characteristics I’ve compiled to help kids should they find themselves embroiled in battle.
Stubborn.
Bold instead of old.
Willing to embarrass you and themselves over and over again.
Possibly put produce in cans and rode bikes without shoes when they were your age.
Wear undesirable attire—see clown jumpsuits and tuxedos.
Excellent at picking strawberries and other surprising tasks.
Consume unfortunate foods—see green smoothies.
May upcycle things for reuse—see toilet paper.
Won’t give up. I repeat WILL NOT GIVE UP.
Sometimes lonely, just like you.
Know exactly what to say, right when you need it.
And last, but not least, may become the very old and very real friend you never knew you needed.
So beware of grandparents. They’re everywhere.
Love you, Grandma Sally.
Love you, Great-Grandpa Jack.
Love you, grandparents of the world.
Sincerely,
Meg Amelia Stokes
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Margery Nathanson,
wife of Robert Kimmel Smith
Robert and I would like to thank Ann Dee Ellis for bringing a new generation of readers to The War with Grandpa. Ann Dee has been a delightful partner, and it has been a pleasure to get to know her better. We are indebted to John Cusick of Folio Literary Management and Don Laventhall of Harold Ober Associates for introducing us to Ann Dee and helping this project see the light of day. Thank you to the entire team at Delacorte for shepherding Robert’s books, especially our editors, Monica Jean and Alison Romig, as well as publisher Beverly Horowitz.
We want to express our gratitude to the many teachers and librarians who brought Robert’s books into their classrooms; to his wonderful readers through the past five decades, for their support, affection and encouragement; and finally, to our loving families, our children and grandchildren, who keep us grounded and connected.
Ann Dee Ellis
I’d like to thank first and foremost Robert Kimmel Smith for so many things, but most especially for the world of Peter and Grandpa Jack and now Meg and Grandma Sally. I’m grateful to him and Margery for their support and kindness throughout this process. I’m grateful to my agent, John Cusick, for believing in me and being an advocate and a friend. And I’m grateful to my editors, Monica Jean and Alison Romig, for their guidance.
I also want to thank the dear people in my life who hike mountains with me, walk along lazy rivers with me, and do headstands on the beach with me. I’m grateful for friends who watch my children, read bumpy drafts, and stay up late brainstorming. I’m grateful for parents who believed I could get there and helped me do so. I’m grateful to my little family, who are always my inspiration, always my joy, always my motivation.
And finally, I want to thank grandparents everywhere. Where would we be without you?
Don’t miss the prequel!
PETER STOKES’S TRUE AND REAL STORY
This is the true and real story of what happened when Grandpa came to live with us and took my room and how I went to war with him and him with me and what happened after that.
I am typing it out on paper without lines on my dad’s typewriter because Mrs. Klein, she’s my 5th grade English teacher, said that we should write a story about something important that happened to us and to tell it “true and real” and put in words that people said if we can remember and to put quote marks around them and everything.
She also said to keep the sentences short. Looking back on how I began, I can see I’m doing terrible already. The first two sentences took up almost ½ the page.
My little sister, Jennifer, just came in and asked me what I’m doing and I told her. She told me to put Pac-Man in my story and maybe Wonder Woman she watches reruns of every afternoon on Channel 6. “No,” I said.
“Why not?”
“Because it is a story about Grandpa and me, silly. Not some made-up thing like on TV.”
“Could it have a horse in it?” she asked.
Jennifer loves horses a lot. She cuts pictures of them out of magazines and tacks them up on the wall in her room. “No horses.”
“A magic fairy?”
“No!”
“I bet it’s going to be a stupid story,” she said.
Jennifer was wearing a Pac-Man cap, her Superman T-shirt, a jeans belt that said JEANS on it, and sneakers that said LEFT and RIGHT on the toes. She looked like a walking billboard.
“It is going to be a great story,” I said.
“How does it begin?”
“I don’t know. That’s what I was trying to remember when you came marching in.”
“I think it should begin with me,” Jenny said, “because I found out Grandpa was coming to live here before you even knew about it.”
“Good idea,” I said.
“And put in the story that I am very beautiful with long blond hair and lovely blue eyes.”
“I just did.”
“Now you’ll have a good story,” she said.
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
ROBERT KIMMEL SMITH was an award-winning author who wrote several popular books for children, including Chocolate Fever; The War with Grandpa and its sequel, The War with Grandma; Bobby Baseball; Jelly Belly; Mostly Michael; and The Squeaky Wheel.
ANN DEE ELLIS teaches as an adjunct creative writing instructor at Brigham Young University and has taught at various writing conferences. She lives in the foothills of Utah, and when she’s not writing, she’s hanging around with her husband and five energetic children. She is the author of You May Already Be a Winner and the coauthor of The War with Grandma.
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