Bent not Broken

by Lisa De Jong

  “Uh, I’m not sure how I feel about this.” I tug at the leather skirt, trying to get it to grow a couple of inches without any luck. Turning to look at Morgan who is sitting down on her bed looking perfect, I rub my hands against one another, the sweat making them stick together. “I feel like I should be working a corner or a pole, Morgan. I mean, if I bend down just a little you can probably see my ass.”

  “Are you kidding me? You look gorgeous. Like the new, improved, and sluttified girl next door. Ben is going to lose his mind when he sees you in that outfit.”

  Smiling at me, she stands up and makes her way to stand next to me. As she closes the distance between us, I take in her outfit and for a moment wishing I were as tall and as curvy as she is. She’s wearing very tight, shiny black leggings with a fitted Rolling Stones t-shirt, and bright pink stilettos. A female version of Julian, she is stunning.

  “Seriously, Cathy. Julian gave me a rundown of what’s going on between you two, and I know this is going to sound immature, but if you want a guy to stake his claim, make him die of jealousy. Look hot and flirt with hot guys, and he will go all cave man on you. I swear it works like a charm.”

  I watch her out of the corner of my eye, laughter and disbelief in my voice, “And this has worked for you before, I take?”

  “Yep. Always. And let me tell you, the more pissed off you get them, the hotter the make up sex is after.”

  I shake my head and continue staring at my reflection in the mirror. “Okay, I get it. But this isn’t a skirt. It’s more like a scrap of cloth!” I show her the way the skin-tight skirt is hugging my hips. I’m wearing leather glued to my ass, a pretty cream blouse with black lace applications and my black riding boots.

  Okay, it actually doesn’t look that bad. But I feel naked.

  Morgan laughs, making her blue eyes sparkle. “Well, I think you look super hot in that outfit. You’re not only going to have Ben drooling after you, but probably Julian and some of the other guys too. You have so much to work with, you know? You’re naturally very pretty without any make up, so wait until after I’ve done your eyes and applied some blush. Poor Ben, I already feel bad for him.”

  Groaning, I close my eyes and let her play with me like a Barbie doll. I mean she already dressed me and did my hair. Why not let her do my make up? Besides, I have to admit, it’s kind of fun.

  While she “beautifies” me, I decide that my outfit is the least of my problems. I need to speak to Ben. So, I let the subject drop and stay in her clothes. The girl staring back at me doesn’t look like girl next door Cathy at all. She is beautiful in an airy, ethereal kind of way. Opening my eyes wide and closing the space between the mirror and myself, I take a real look at myself.

  “Wow, Morgan. I love it! I look so different,” I pause, “I look so pretty! Thank you!”

  I turn to face her with a big smile on my face. She looks very pleased with herself.

  “You’re welcome! But I didn’t do anything really. All I did was bring out your natural beauty. I told you I had a lot to work with. Anyway, stop looking at yourself. It’s you, you hot lil’ piece of ass!”

  She giggles as she grabs me by the elbow, walking us to the door. “Oh. MAHHHH. GAWWWD! I cannot wait to see Ben and Julian’s faces when they see you.”

  Feeling lots of butterflies in my stomach as we make our way to the main living room, I let fate decide what’s in store for me.

  I truly hope that Ben is it.

  ****

  I feel Julian’s hands circling my waist as we dance to Santeria by Sublime. Could this grinding of bodies even be called dancing? I’m not sure, so I just play along. Julian told me to trust him, so I am. The closeness of our bodies should bother me, I mean, I’d be surprised if you could see a sliver of light between us as we dance, but the brotherly smile on his face reassures me that this is all for show and nothing more.

  After Julian scans the room, nodding to people who are trying to catch his attention, his eyes return to watch me, never leaving mine again. Dancing, we get lost in the music and let the beat of the melody guide our every move. When Caress Me Down starts playing, Julian’s hands pull me closer to him as he moves his legs in between mine. Instinctively I wrap my hands around his neck as we sway our hips to the rhythm of the song; our bodies so close that I can feel the heat of his body radiating through his jeans.

  Shit.

  This feels totally different from the dance before. It’s more intimate. I know it must look worse than it is because we’re attracting a lot of attention. I’m beginning to feel quite uncomfortable with the way we are dancing.

  Damn it.

  I look around the room as I put some space between our bodies and try to find the reason why I’m here in the first place. I don’t see him anywhere, and I am starting to really freak out now.

  Where is Ben?

  When I first started dancing with Julian, my gaze landed on an angry pair of brown eyes. Ben was staring at me, unsmiling, but Julian asked me a question, causing me to turn away. After I’d answered him, I glanced over my shoulder, but Ben was no longer staring at me. In fact, he didn’t look my way once after that. When the second or third danced ended, I watched Ben disappear with a gorgeous brunette.

  Which brings me to this moment.

  Where is he?

  Imagining him with her is driving me mad with jealousy. I feel sick to my stomach, but I got myself in this situation, didn’t I? I can see why Ben won’t even come looking for me. Why he’s probably hooking up with someone so much prettier than I am. I feel angry tears pooling in my eyes.

  He must be disgusted with me.

  I hate this.

  I deserve whatever is coming my way. I have no one else to blame but my childish behavior.

  Shit.

  Without giving it another thought, I decide to go in search of Ben and put a stop to this stupid game. I just hope that Ben believes me and I’m not too late. Turning to look at Julian, guilt flowing out of my pores, I stand on my tip-toes to speak in his ear.

  “Julian, I’m sorry. I can’t do this. If all these people already think something is going on between us or is about to happen, I can only imagine what Ben must be thinking. Please, let me just go look for him.”

  “Are you sure? I think we’re on the right track. He should be coming to beat the living daylights out of me anytime now.”

  I shake my head. “No, Julian. He left with a tall brunette before.”

  “What the fuck? I didn’t see him leave,” he exclaims.

  “He left about two or three songs ago.” My stomach hurts just thinking about what he could be doing right now.

  After a couple seconds, Julian asks, “What did she look like?”

  I swallow hard. “A tall brunette, skinny, big boobs, beautiful.”

  “Fuck!” he pins me down with his stare.

  I think I already know who she is, but I still need him to confirm it. “I-Is that Ashley?” I ask, breathlessly.

  Julian clenches his jaw and nods once.

  Feeling like the air is knocked out of my lungs, I stare at the dance floor before I meet his gaze once more. “This is enough. I can’t do this anymore.”

  “Hey. He’s going to come back. You’ll see.”

  I shake my head, “I know it’s just dancing, but I feel sick to my stomach. I don’t want him to get the wrong idea. Please,” I beg, “I just need to go find him and try to explain everything. I just can’t do this. I just can’t.”

  Julian immediately lets my body go, a tender expression in his eyes. “It’s okay. Go. Or would you like me to go find him for you? Try to talk some sense in him?”

  “No. This is my battle to fight. I got myself in this mess, and I’ve already dragged you deep enough. I’m not sure if I’ll still be here after tomorrow, but truly, thank you for caring and for listening to me. Ben is so lucky to have you as a friend.” I kiss him on the cheek, then turn away from him.

  Julian pulls me back. “He’s very lucky. You know, I wa
sn’t joking about poaching before, but damn if I’m not tempted at this moment. I like you. I hope you both work it out because I have a good feeling about the two of you together.”

  Smiling, I nod.

  “Cathy…”

  “Yes?”

  “If things with Ben don’t work out, you know where to find me.” Julian smiles, making his blue eyes sparkle.

  Breaking into a laugh, we hug each other one last time before I make my way to find what I hope is forgiveness and my future.

  Even if I have to beg on my knees.

  For Ben, I would do that and more.

  As soon as I’m standing in the empty hallway, I feel a pair of large hands wrap around my waist.

  “Mmmhmm…bored with Julian already?”

  Ben’s voice sends shivers running down my spine.

  “No. You know I’m not interested in anyone but you...” I try to move away from his hold, but he tightens his grasp, making me wince in pain.

  “Bullshit. I saw the way you were dancing with him, and the only reason I didn’t beat the shit out of him is because—”

  “Stop! Let go of me so I can explain to you what happened.”

  When Ben does as I say, I spin around to look at him. He looks raving mad, but he’s here. I throw myself at his chest. I don’t think I can hold him any closer without crawling into his skin. I’m filled with so much love and relief that I don’t immediately notice how his hands are trying to push me away instead of hugging me back.

  The minute I realize what this means, I let go of him and turn away as I hear Ben curse under his breath. I want to say that I understand and that I’m okay, but the words get stuck in my throat. I take five or six steps when he grabs me by the elbow and pulls me right back, slamming me against his chest.

  “For fuck’s sake, Cathy. Where do you think you’re going?” he asks harshly.

  Looking up at his face, I feel the tears running down my cheeks. “I-I’m really sorry. I’ve got to get my suitcase and leave tonight. I’m sorry, Ben. It was my fault.”

  Ben shakes his head as the scowl on his face deepens. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” He groans in frustration. “You know what? Never mind. Don’t answer that question. You have a lot of explaining to do, but not here.”

  “But you don’t want me anymore.”

  “You must be joking, right? Of course I want you. You’re my girl.”

  The music, the people walking in and out of the room, the laughter, the shouting, everything becomes a blur. All I can see is the guy standing in front of me.

  Only him.

  He’s gritting his teeth so hard that it makes his perfect square jaw even more pronounced. The expression on his face tells me he wants to murder me, but it’s his eyes that hold me enthralled. I see tenderness and possession swirling like a vanilla and chocolate ice cream cone. I see something that I can’t believe.

  I see my future.

  You are my girl.

  With his words bouncing in my head, etching themselves in my soul, I try to close the distance between us, but I don’t get a chance.

  Ben’s strong arms are wrapped around me in the blink of an eye. He’s hugging me so tight that I don’t think I can feel my ribs anymore. Nestled in the curve of my neck, I can feel the light stubble of his chin tickle my skin as he whispers in my ear, “I need you now, fuck my damn conscience. I can’t take it anymore. I need to be inside you right now. I want you naked beneath me. No more games.”

  I feel chills running all over my body as the heat of desire pools in between my legs, and the butterflies of anticipation flutter in my stomach.

  Nodding, I close my hand around his as he pulls me in front of him. Fully clothed and in public, he slams his hips into mine.

  “I want you,” he whispers in my ear.

  I do, too.

  ****

  As we make our way to our suite on the second floor, we keep stopping to make out against the diamond-paned windows and the paintings hanging on the walls, Ben’s hand under my skirt and inside my panties.

  “Fuck, Cat, you’re so wet.”

  Ben lifts me up in his arms. Or did I climb him? My hands lock around his neck, and my legs straddle his waist. We groan when our bodies rub against each other intimately. I have a feeling we’re not going to make it to the bed.”

  Ben scoops his hands under my ass, lifting me higher and burying his head in my neck. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

  Blindly entering the dark room, too busy kissing as we try to rip our clothes off, we walk straight into a piece of furniture. Laughing, the two of us break apart just long enough for Ben to whisper in my ear, “Cathy, babe, we may need the lights on if we don’t want to break every piece of furniture in this room.”

  “Mmhhmmm…hurry up. I’m dying here, and I don’t think I can’t wait any longer.”

  He flicks the tip of my nose. “My horny little minx.”

  I nod my head as he lets go of me because, yes.

  That’s not a lie.

  I want him.

  All of him.

  So badly.

  When his body untangles from mine, he makes his way in the darkness to the entrance of the room in search of a light switch. I give props to whoever came up with the idea to always place them by the door. Brilliant.

  The minute the lights come on, I don’t bother to admire the décor and the lavishness of the suite. All I want to see is Ben. All I see is Ben.

  As he walks back to me, I shamelessly drink him in. I take in the perfection of his tall and muscular body, the size of his hands, the beauty of his face, and the need in his eyes. The craving. Under his gaze, my breasts tingle as my body, feverish with desire, feels swollen where I want him, where I need him the most.

  A teasing smile on his lips, Ben slowly approaches me as I move backwards. By the time my ass hits the edge of a dresser, I’m trembling from head to toe with anticipation. As Ben draws nearer, closing the space between us, the expression on his face makes my heart beat hard and fast.

  When he’s standing in front of me, I reach for him, and the world around us disappears. All I can feel is his hot mouth on my skin, kissing me so roughly I know it will leave marks. Not stopping him because I want to be branded by Ben, I pull him closer to me. Our frantic hands help us discard what little clothing we have left on. When we are completely naked, Ben grabs me by the shoulders and stops kissing me.

  “We have to stop…” he says painfully. “I wasn’t expecting this to happen, so I’m not prepared.”

  “Oh, you mean protection?”

  Ben nods as he rubs the back of his neck.

  “It’s okay. I’m on the pill a-and this would be my first time without a-a, you know…condom,” I say as I feel my face burning.

  Ben cups my face in his hands, letting his fingers caress my cheeks. “It would be my first time too, you know. Are you sure, babe?”

  “Yes. Oh yes,” I beg. “I can’t wait any longer.”

  Without a moment of hesitation, Ben lets go of my face, grips my shoulders once again, and turns me around to face the mirror propped on the dressing table.

  “Watch,” he demands, his voice husky with passion, “Watch us.”

  When our eyes meet in the mirror, an unsmiling Ben lowers his finger to the vee of my body. I feel his finger slip inside me, stroking me once. I whimper, about to beg for more when he removes his hand completely. I stare at his reflection in the mirror as he brings his finger to his mouth, his tongue darting out to lick it before he lowers it again. Sliding his finger, he spreads my wetness mixed with his own on my clit. I’m on the brink of exploding when he withdraws his finger once more.

  Ben reaches for my hand and curls my fingers around his dick as we stroke him to full erection together. I can’t see anything, but I can feel the hardness and the smoothness of his skin covering his dick as he grips my hand tighter in his. Letting go, I take the base of his dick in my hand, but I don’t put him inside me. Instead, I try
to savor the moment. I’m breathing slow and easy, making the moment last. I love how free and uninhibited Ben makes me feel. He makes me feel beautiful and powerful.

  When his hand lands on the small of my back, bending me at the waist and pushing me forward, I grip the edge of the dressing table. Nudging my thighs to open wider, I moan when I feel Ben guiding the tip of his arousal inside me. With a tense jaw, he impales me in one hard, deep thrust that makes the mirror rattle. Lifting his eyes from where we are connected, we stare at each other as he begins to slowly pull back, bringing his free hand around to stroke me. When he’s almost all the way out, he aggressively thrusts forward again, groaning and rubbing me as he pounds harder and faster each time. Ben grabs my hair in his fist, giving it a not so gentle tug as I lift my ass higher up to give him better access into me.

  “Oh, yes…” I groan with each thrust.

  “Fuuuuck, baby…you’re so damn tight…fuck.”

  He wants to take, he wants to demand, he wants to dominate.

  I let him. I let him because I feel wanted. So wanted.

  I give him everything.

  As our rhythm becomes more desperate, Ben lets go of my hair to grip my hips roughly in both hands as he thrusts deeper, fucking harder into me. I feel him inside me, outside me, everywhere and beyond. I feel him in my soul.

  Feeling so close to the edge, I lift my eyes to look at his reflection in the mirror. I want to see him when he comes inside me. Ben is watching me already. I don’t think he ever stopped.

  “So close, Cathy… I need to pull—”

  “No. Don’t…it’s okay.”

  “Shit…so close.”

  As our bodies continue to slam against each other, I can feel the muscles of my body tighten around him. Ben’s fingers rub me faster, and faster until I come undone. A scream escapes my mouth as a rainbow of colors explodes inside me, heightening the sweet emotions flowing through my body.

  I observe Ben close his eyes and tip his head back as a ragged groan escapes his mouth when he climaxes. When I feel the warm rush inside me, his arms wrap around my waist as he lays his head on my back, thrusting and shuddering one last time